Banana Babe Beach Blast
Author's Note: Random idea that came to me that kept me from sleeping much longer than it should have. This is pretty much a lame story that's going to have some sort of plot, but I'm really just going to have fun with it. I'd like to take a step back from the whole "Smash Mansion" thing, and a day at the beach is just what the doctor ordered!
This story will include the following characters as mains: Mario, Donkey Kong, Kirby, King Dedede, Wario, Captain Falcon, Little Mac, Doc Louis, Lucina, Robyn (female), Toon Link, Samus, Pit, Palutena, Greninja, Jigglypuff, and Shulk. Any other characters in the roster probably won't make an appearance, but they may get some brief mentions.
All that aside, I hope you guys enjoy!
Chapter 1: Welcome to Banana Beach
"Last stop! Everybody off!"
Doc Louis pulled back on the lever, opening up the door of the Super Smash Bus. A cool breeze instantly swept through the vehicle, hitting all of its passengers with the salty sea air that only a beach could supply.
"It's about damn time!" shouted Captain Falcon from the back. He had apparently been engaged in a heated discussion with Little Mac over whose franchise was more popular. "We're melting away over here!"
"Excellent driving, Doc," said Robyn, who was seated in the front row of the bus with Lucina. "I never doubted you for a second."
Donkey Kong began clapping somewhere in the middle area, followed by Pit, Palutena, and Shulk who also joined in. It had been quite a long drive from Smash Mansion to Banana Beach. The ride itself had taken almost three hours, and it didn't help in the slightest that they lost some of the morning thanks to Wario clogging up one of the bathrooms at the last pit-stop. Their schedule had been set behind by about half an hour, but this didn't put a damper on the Smashers' spirits, no siree!
"Aw, thank hun," replied Doc, wiping his sweaty forehead with his towel. "But hey, I only drive the bus. Kirby's the one we should all be thankin' 'cause without him, we wouldn't even be here!"
The Smashers had won an all-expense paid trip to Banana Beach, one of the most exotic and reputable vacation spots this side of Smashlando, Smashida (just roll with it). Well actually, Kirby was the one who ended up winning the trip, but he had the option of bringing up to fifteen other friends with him! Of course, with all the friends he had back at the mansion, it was hard to decide who he did and didn't want to bring along. He wasn't the type of guy to make people upset either, thus Master Hand was forced to impose a solution that would be fair for everyone: The Smashers all put their names into a hat, and the first fifteen people who were selected got to go on the trip. Needless to say that even under regulations, arguments were had, but Master Hand ultimately had to lay down the iron fist. What resulted was a crazy bus full of sweating Smashers, all of whom were dying to get their feet in the water.
"Poyo!" exclaimed Kirby, lifting up a toy shovel that he planned on using in the sand.
"Haha! I can't wait to check out the food!" said Dedede, punching the pink puffball next to him nonchalantly.
"I can't wait to check out the waves," replied Shulk, who was a self-proclaimed surfing expert, although no one had ever really seen him do such a thing before.
"I can't wait to check out the babes…" snickered Wario, imagining Samus posing seductively in a wet bikini.
Indeed, the bus was chockfull of crazy characters. The only level-headed ones in the bunch seemed to be Robyn, Samus, Mario, and Little Mac. Everyone else, well, let's just say they had their own little charming ways of dealing with free time.
Lucina was the first to step off the bus. She was a beautiful and somewhat shy girl who always took matters a tad bit too seriously. When she wasn't practicing in the training room, she was either hanging out with her Fire Emblem pals or trying to stay out of people's ways. She also had a habit of being quite gullible sometimes, as most jokes tended to fly right over her little head.
"Some time away from the tournament should do me good," she said to herself, looking yonder at the sparkling sea under the rising sun. She was promptly shoved to the side as King Dedede got off, lifting his sturdy mallet over his shoulder with a grin that the citizens of Dreamland apparently weren't very fond of.
"They better have a snack bar!" he said. "I can't swim unless I got some grub in my belly!"
Dedede was kind of the opposite of Lucina, being one of the loudest and most obnoxious Smashers in the whole roster. He did what he pleased, even at the expense of other characters, but that really didn't stop him from getting his kicks when he wanted to. He was kind of a jerk—especially to Kirby—but the little Star Warrior was always too oblivious to notice.
Robyn was the next to step off, having previously been pushed aside by Dedede as she lifted her heavy clothes bag over her shoulder. Being the master tactician that she was, she wasn't afraid to show off a little, and always had a backup plan in case of emergencies. She was also followed by Mario, DK, Jigglypuff, and Greninja.
As soon as he set his feet on the sand, Donkey Kong began searching high and low for any sign of bananas. After all, was that not the reason why they named the beach "Banana Beach?" It only made sense. DK recalled hearing stories about a giant banana that washed up on the shore some millennia or two ago, which is how the golden beach originally got its name. It was a cool story, but everyone knew that giant bananas didn't really exist. Not unless it was a guy in a banana suit.
"Cheer up DK!" said Mario, patting his friend on the back. "I'm sure we'll find bananas around here somewhere!"
Samus, Pit, and Palutena were the next ones to step off, Samus being the first to squint dramatically at the blinding light of the sunshine. Palutena was actually wearing a giant sunhat, while poor Pit was stuck lugging both his and his goddess' luggage.
"Sunbathing! Volleyball! Sandcastles!" exclaimed Palutena. "I could spend a whole week here and never get bored!"
Samus yawned unenthusiastically. She really wasn't into the whole "beach thing," let alone with a bunch of people she never really bothered to hang around in the first place. The only reason she was even here was because Captain Falcon had snuck her name into the hat while her back was turned. As much as she wanted to decline the offer, she couldn't bear to see Kirby's eyes well up in tears at the thought of her not wanting to spend time with him and their friends.
She made a mental note to roundhouse kick that bonehead of an F-Zero racer later on in the day.
"You seem more excited than usual Samus," chuckled Shulk as he hopped out of the bus onto the ground.
"Hardly," she replied flatly. "Just make sure those idiots stay away from me."
Of course, by "those idiots" she was referring to Captain Falcon and Wario, The Super Smash Brothers' local class clowns. Well, they were class clowns by law, not really by nature, since more often than not the two would end up doing something stupid and give themselves bad reputations.
"What was that Samus?" asked Falcon as he stepped off the bus casually. "You say something?"
She grimaced at him before following the rest of the group to the main beach area.
Falcon frowned; he really wasn't a bad guy at all. He merely had a reputation for being loud-mouthed, much like ol' King Dedede. Most of the Smashes actually didn't mind him. As a matter of fact, it was typically the women Smashers who either didn't want to be bothered or downright disliked being in the presence of the F-Zero racer. Granted, he's never afraid to act like a flirt in front of some of the girls (especially Samus and Lucina) but those actions alone kind of pinned him as the "immature for his age" guy in the group. Wasn't he supposed to be some kind of lethal bounty hunter?
"Aw cheer up, dude," said Wario, slapping his companion on the back. "By the end of this trip, Samus will be practically begging us to go out with here. Trust me." He let out a nasty fart before shuffling past Falcon, who pinched his nose in disgust.
Wario, by comparison, was a much worse version of Captain Falcon. He wasn't very popular or well-liked, but if it was one thing he was good at, it was being able to clear a room. He too had a tendency to go over the deep end when it came to women, but he was always willing to learn from his mistakes… Even if it meant slamming his head against a wall a million times.
Little Mac and Doc Louis were the last ones to exit the bus. Seeing as how Doc wasn't an actual Smasher, he more or less got a vacation at Banana Beach free of charge since he drove the bus. Little Mac was more than happy to have his trusty coach with him, since it would give him all the more reason to practice his fighting skills!
Little did he know that the whole point of a vacation was to relax and have fun.
Eventually, the group rendezvoused on the beach, roughly twenty feet or so from the tideline. The beachside itself seemed to be pretty barren from both ends. With the exception of the Smashers, the next group of people appeared to be about half a mile down the eastern coast. It gave them all the more reason to set up camp here since, well, who wouldn't want a private beach all to themselves?
"Hey Kirby, you mind if I unpack next to you?" asked Toon Link, throwing down his Tri-force towel.
Kirby didn't seem to be paying any attention at all. Instead, his eyes were fixated on the miles of sand along the beach's coast. Without thinking, he let out an excited "Poyo!" before making a mad dash up the beach with a pail and shovel in hand.
Toon Link sighed. He wasn't particularly close to any of the Smashers who came with him on this vacation. The only ones who he really ever talked to were Mario, Pit, and occasionally Shulk. Everyone else, well, they were usually off doing "adult" things like adults do, which meant that they probably wouldn't have any time to spend with him if he wanted to play soccer or ring toss or other kid games. He settled with unrolling his towel next to Greninja, who was having a bit of trouble opening his umbrella.
"Forget setting up!" shouted Pit. "I wanna go for a swim!"
"Well go on if you want to," replied Palutena. "I can take care of the rest from here."
She promptly used her goddess powers to open up several towels at once and place them perfectly on the sand, along with a few umbrellas, some sunscreen bottles, and sandcastle building tools. Needless to say, Robyn and Samus were both impressed, as they were both having trouble trying to get their umbrellas open. Who was the shoddy merchant who sold these damn things to them?
"Alright! Thanks Lady Palutena!" said Pit, before dashing off towards the sea. "Yahoo!" He ended up kicking up some sand, pelting Jigglypuff in the face and getting a bunch in her large eyes.
"Jiggly!" cried the pink Pokémon, covering her face and puffing her cheeks out. Thankfully, Greninja was able to assist her with a light dab of Water Gun.
The Pokémon characters were friends of everyone, but there was always that communication barrier that kept them from bonding with a lot of the newcomers. That being said, Lucina, Palutena, Robyn, Shulk, and Little Mac all had some trouble understanding the mystical language of the Pokémon. There was one time when Greninja had asked Robyn for a sparring match in the training room, when instead she just went to the kitchen to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Since when does, "Greninj, Gre, Greninja" mean, "Bitch go make me a sammich?"
Who knows, who cares.
Meanwhile, Captain Falcon was busy fumbling with his massive umbrella, which was a custom one that he made himself. The umbrella had a large picture of his face imprinted on the top, along with the words, "Show me your moves!" circling the outer edges. By the time he got the darn thing standing up right, everyone else had already set theirs up.
"I swear, it's like these things are child proof or something…" muttered Falcon under his breath as he jammed his gloved hands into the notches.
Lucina noticed his distress seeing as how she was one of the first ones to finish, and found herself wandering over in order to assist the uncanny racer.
"Um… Do you need some help?" she asked.
Falcon didn't even look up, but continued messing around with his contraption.
"No thanks! I got it all taken care of!" he replied, although honestly he wasn't quite sure how he was going to manage this. He wasn't about to let Lucina show him up anyway. He was a manly man!
As soon as Shulk was done with his crap, he immediately threw off his shirt and pants, revealing nothing but a thin pair of spandex swimwear. Samus actually had to do a double-take seeing the Homs boy strip so fast and so casually, but nobody even had a chance to say anything before he darted off into the water shouting, "Now it's Shulk time!." The Monado was still strapped magically to his back.
"It's like the tournament all over again…" thought Samus to herself, recalling Shulk as the only fighter who ever wore spandex shorts to a brawl. He never even bothered wearing a shirt during those times either.
"Hey Samus, I bet I can strip faster than you," said Wario with a sneer, but he only ended up earning a punch to the face with that remark.
"Oh, I almost forgot," said Mario all of a sudden. "Did anyone remember to bring snacks?"
Donkey Kong immediately opened one of his large duffle bags, revealing a treasure trove of bananas inside. Mario facepalmed, along with Robyn who also sighed in disapproval.
"Donkey Kong, you mean to tell us you've been carrying nothing but bananas this whole time?" asked Robyn.
DK did his signature shoulder shrug (down taunt) as if to say, "Well what the hell else am I supposed to bring?"
It's true. It's not like the big ape needed a swimsuit or towel, unlike most of the other characters.
Needless to say that the other bags he brought with him also contained bananas, but hey this was Banana Beach so it only made sense.
"I brought some chocolate bars," exclaimed Doc, opening up his bag and revealing a bunch of tasty treats. Thankfully, Kirby was nowhere in sight to see this smorgasbord of sugar.
"Jigglypuff!" said Jiggs, holding up a plate of bonafide Pokémon food. Greninja and her had made sure to synchronize their packing, revealing a bag of Poffins and Poképuffs for good measure. At least they came prepared.
"There's probably a place we can get food around here," said Little Mac reassuringly. "We still got a couple hours before lunchtime anyway."
"I think there was a snack bar we passed by on our way in," replied Robyn. "We should be fine with that."
"As long as they got burgers, I'm happy," said Dedede. "But enough of this standin' around. Let's have some fun!"
Dedede threw off his robe, revealing an old fashioned swimsuit that covered his fat body from neck to ankle. It was blue and white striped and was reminiscent of old family movies that no one ever watched anymore thanks to anime and the internet.
"Kowabunga!" he shouted, leaping up high into the air with his Super Dedede Jump. He flew overhead towards the water where Shulk and Pit were busy splashing each other in the face. They both looked up in horror at the massive round body dive-bombing at them, and despite their efforts to swim away, they were unfortunately crushed by the weight of King Dedede. The resulting impact created a tidal wave that surged towards the Smashers on the beach. Thankfully, Palutena was able to deflect the water back to the sea with her Reflect Barrier. Shulk and Pit's bodies soon rose to the surface, both of them dazed and confused from the belly flopping Dedede, while the king in question was enjoying himself and doing the backstroke.
"Wow…" mumbled Doc, a half-eaten chocolate bar in his mouth.
Meanwhile, Falcon was still trying to get his umbrella open, and was having so much trouble that he didn't even notice Palutena saving their entire camp. He was working up quite a sweat standing under the beating sun. After much frustration and Lucina's constant staring at him while he tried to work, Falcon just threw down the umbrella and kicked it into the sand.
"God dammit!" he shouted. "I hate umbrellas!"
He began stomping and kicking about rather childishly, not even noticing that Lucina had snuck up and lifted the large object up by herself. The next thing he knew, Falcon was standing under the shade of a brilliant umbrella, Lucina firmly pushing the base of the contraption into the ground.
Falcon's mouth had nearly hit the sand.
"I… B-But…" he stuttered. "How?..."
"You just push this button right here," replied Lucina calmly, gesturing to a giant red button on the umbrella that said, "Press this asshole."
"Oh…" was all Falcon could muster before Lucina had literally been pulled out of his sight by the Goddess of Light.
"Come on Lucy!" said Palutena excitedly. "Let's go get changed!"
"Gah! But Palutena!" cried Lucina, but she didn't even have time to react as she was dragged from one end of the beach to the other. Robyn and Samus also tagged along, both of them carrying their duffle bags of clothes.
"We'll meet you guys back here soon," called Robyn as the ladies headed off towards the changing tents.
"Pfft, amateurs," said Falcon before promptly ripping out of his skin tight racing suit. There he stood before his fellow men in nothing but a black speedo. Wario, Mario, Donkey Kong, and Toon Link immediately shielded their eyes.
"Gah! Falcon, turn that thing off!" cried Wario.
"Don't be jealous," spat Falcon, the brilliant sun reflecting off of his helmet, which (besides the speedo) was really the only clothing he had on him. "You fatsos wish you had this kind of bod."
Well he had a point. Falcon just so happened to be one of the only male Smashers who could flaunt a six-pack… or a twelve-pack… or whatever the hell kind of pack his abs were supposed to be. Seriously, the guy could give Arnold Schwarzenegger a run for his money.
DK frowned before grabbing the F-Zero racer with his massive monkey hands and hurling him into the water, landing on top of Dedede and sinking his beloved inflatable belly.
"Hey watch it you moron!" hollered Dedede. "You almost killed me!"
"Like hell I did!" retorted Falcon. "Ol' Donkey Dick over there almost ripped by arms off!"
The two Smashes began fighting in the water, which pretty much became an unorthodox wrestling match while Pit and Shulk watched on the side. Greninja took this opportunity to shuffle his way into the water and disappear beneath the depths seeing as how he didn't plan on playing any of these lame party games with these plebs anyway. As expected, King Dedede found himself on the wrong end of a Falcon Punch, where he was then launched hundreds of feet into the air before landing somewhere further down the beach on the mainland.
"I'll kill youuuuuuuuu!" was all he could say before briefly getting interrupted by his head landing in a palm tree.
"Well isn't this exciting!" exclaimed Doc as he opened up his cooler and began pulling out some water bottles. "As fun as the beach is, you guys make sure you stay fully hydrated. You don't want to end up having a stroke like I did the other day, hoo boy, those aren't fun at all."
Donkey Kong pretty much ignored Doc's comment and began hobbling down the coast, sniffing around for any sign of a giant banana.
"Hey DK, where are you going?" asked Mario.
DK turned around, holding up a regular banana with an eager look in his eyes. Wario could only facepalm at this response.
"We come all this way and all he wants to do is look for bananas," he mumbled. "Good luck finding a banana on a sandy beach you dimwit! Maybe if you stick your ear in a shell the banana gods will give you a sign!"
DK continued wandering without a care, his mind set only on one thing and one thing alone: Get that giant banana. Toon Link immediately dropped his stuff and began chasing after him.
"You guys go ahead, I'll help DK find his banana!" he called back. Truthfully, he wasn't really interested in hanging out with the others seeing how he was one of the few kids left behind. Surely tagging along with uncle Donkey Kong would help make this little beach adventure more interesting? Donkey Kong smiled a toothy smile before hoisting the little Smashers onto his shoulders.
As the two characters disappeared into the distance, Mario felt a small hand tugging on his leg. He looked down to see Jigglypuff offer him one of her Poképuffs. Reluctantly, the plumber accepted the gift before munching on it miserably.
"What's the matter Mario?" asked Little Mac.
"We're supposed to be a team," replied Mario. "If everyone keeps running off like this, how are we supposed to enjoy ourselves?"
"Just let 'em go man," replied Wario dismissively. "If they wanna waste their time looking for a stupid banana, then let them. We got more important things to think about right now, like what color bikini Samus will be wearing when she comes out of that changing tent."
Little Mac and Mario both frowned their fat friend before promptly bopping him upside the head with their fists.
"OW! Hey what was that for!"
"For being dumb," replied Mario.
"Hey! I don't need to answer to you!" shouted Wario. "You're my arch nemesis!"
Mario glanced at Little Mac who responded with a stern nod.
Meanwhile in the water, Shulk and Pit were busy playing keep away with Captain Falcon's speedo. How they managed to get their hands on it without him looking we'll never know.
"Come on guys, this isn't fair!" whined Falcon as he dove at Shulk with arms out stretched. Shulk tossed the undergarment over to Pit, who received it quite gracefully.
"Monkey in the middle!" hollered Pit with glee. What resulted following this became a comedic scene of two guys tossing some naked guy's swimsuit back and forth across the water. Of course, Captain Falcon did everything in his power to keep his waist below the surface, but it only made wading through the shallow waters all the more difficult.
"You guys are dead meat when I get my hands on that!" shouted Falcon. "What did I do to deserve this!?"
"Wahhhh!" came a voice from up above.
Falcon looked up only to be met with the face of Wario, who landed on him and caused a large explosion of waves in the water. Little Mac flexed his muscle on the mainland, having executed one of his trademark KO Punches. Doc Louis smacked him on the back, lifting up his arm like it was some kind of boxing championship, while Mario and Jigglypuff applauded from the side.
"And the winner is… Little Mac!"
Author's Note: So, what'd you think? This is my attempt at trying to write some other characters for a change like DK, Toon Link, and Little Mac. Like I said it's not going to be anything serious, but I do have some crazy events planned for this story. If I can put every character in the spotlight then I think I've accomplished what I was trying to do. Thanks for reading!