Faberry Week – November 30th, Unresolved Sexual Tension
\.../*\.../
"No fucking way Mr. Shue!"
"Mr. Shuester, you honestly can't expect me to get along with the three girls that have tortured me since the first day of freshman year!"
Rachel and Santana's vehement protests were ringing in Will Shuester's ears, but he was not backing down. "Girls, when I put these groups together, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity for you four to learn more about each other and get along"
"Mr. Shue–" Will shook his head resolutely, wondering when he could have a drink. "Girls this isn't up for discussion" He waited for the girls to simmer down before continuing. "Now, for the assignment itself." Will turned to the whiteboard and wrote 'MOVIES'.
"Everyone, this week I want you to pick a movie, any movie,
/*\.../*\
"So, what movie are we going to do? I would prefer to do a movie on friendship or romance, but"
Santana and Quinn rolled their eyes as she spoke, but Brittany bounced happily in her seat, and interrupted the petite brunette. "I want to do Beauty and the Beast!" Rachel's eyebrows furrowed, and she began to protest before Santana's glare stopped her in her tracks. "We're doing Beauty and the Beast, midget". Rachel glared back for a moment, but returned to her notebook with a huff.
"Okay then… Brittany, do you know the names of the main characters?" Brittany nodded eagerly, and began listing the characters that sung the most. "You know, I think Rachel would be really good as Belle, and Quinn be the beast." To say Rachel was surprised would have been an understatement; Belle was easily the character that sang the most in the movie, and she was the most beautiful. Innocent Brittany labeling her as the most important person in the show, with one of the prettiest girls in school as her romantic interest was astounding in itself.
Santana shot up in alarm, arguing against her girlfriend. "Oh hells no, Britt! If anything, the midget should be LaFue. She already looks like him!" Brittany shook her head, thinking about it, and Rachel scowled. "No, I think Rachel would be better as Belle. Belle and LaFue aren't really seen together though, so she can be both." Santana rolled her eyes, but relented with the compromise. "Then who would I be, Britt?" Brittany grinned semi-evilly. "You would be Gaston" Quinn was silent throughout Brittany's analysis, but finally laughed at Santana's role. "Britt, no!" Santana protested, but Santana was shut down immediately.
Rachel and Quinn watched in amusement, Rachel being amazed at the fact that she had never seen 'The Unholy Trinity' act this way, even in glee. While the girlfriends fought, Quinn and Rachel turned to each other, Quinn with a considerably lower amount of venom than Rachel had ever seen.
"I guess we have to be in love" Rachel looked into the hazel eyes that have been torturing her since she first stepped into McKinley. With a swallow, Rachel stared right back and nodded. "I suppose so."
\.../*\.../
"Rachel is actually pretty cool, isn't she San?" Santana huffed at her girlfriend as she put on her Gaston outfit, a black ascot with a red shirt and black tights. "Yeah, whatever, the munchkin isn't bad company" Brittany grinned, and Tina smiled from her seat at a stage vanity. "She grew on you, didn't she?" Santana scowled at her, "Shut it before I ends you, harajuku girl" Kurt looked up from his work on Brittany's makeup with a question on his lips. "I'm just wondering, but do you go and look up names to reference the glee club?" Everyone that was present looked toward a silent Latina, confirming his earlier question. With a click of his tongue, Kurt went back to work, but everyone heard the words he spoke under his breath. "That's a hell of a lot of dedication" Santana glared back at him, but just ordered him to get back to work.
/*\.../*\
Quinn scowled at her counterpart, as her role demanded. They had just gotten to the scene where Rachel threw snow in her face, which initiated a snowball fight that she couldn't win. Off to the side, the parts of glee club that weren't part of the scene watched the actions of the two girls with interest.
\.../*\.../
Everyone stared at the couple, who kept on stealing glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. With one look shared by the club, they knew that they were looking at two people in love. They also knew that nothing was going to happen without their help.
After Rachel and Quinn left to their homes after glee, the rest of glee club stayed behind. "Everyone saw all the eye-sex during some of the scenes, right?" Everyone nodded at Santana's question, and puck grinned lecherously at the Latina. "So, what's going to happen then?" Santana smirked at the rest of the group before answering. "What's going to happen is Faberry"
Thus, Operation Faberry was born.
"Um, Santana?" Santana looked over at Sam, who was meekly looking at Santana. "What do you want, Fishlips?" Sam looked around the choir room, taking in the glee club minus Quinn and Rachel. "I like the name Quinchel better than Faberry." Santana looked at him for a moment before shaking her head, the name not settling in her head. "I thought we all agreed to Faberry?" Sam shook his head as a negative, and Santana huffed in annoyance. "Whatever, right now, we need to think of ways to get Tubbers and her dwarf together. Any ideas?"
/*\.../*\
"Alright Bitches, don't forget the plan. Operation Faberry–" She glared pointedly at Sam when she heard a throat clear. "Operation Faberry-Quinchel is a go." Santana turned to Puck, annoyed and itching to start their plan. "This whole name thing is more idiotic than that name JBI gave you and the dwarf when you were dating. What was it again?" Puck grinned at the memory. "Puckleberry" "May I ask why we are discussing the moniker for the relationship I once shared with Noah?" The club flinched simultaneously, the only calm one being a tall blonde cheerleader.
"We were talking about what we should call you and Quinn for our plan" The girls stared suspiciously at the cheerleader, and worried about what this plan was. Quinn smiled sweetly at one of her best friends. "What do you mean, Britt?"
Brittany looked up from her unmade bag of popcorn, and pushed it toward Santana to be popped. "Operation Faberry was a plan to get you and Rachel to sit next to each other on the loveseat because we already chose our seats." Rachel and Quinn smiled indulgently to the blonde, and nodded their assent to sit next to each other during the movie. Unnoticed by the two girls, the club stared wide-eyed at the blonde cheerleader, surprised by her easy lie.
Santana, however, knew what her girlfriend was capable of, and smirked at the rest of the club while Quinn and Rachel chatted about what they were doing before they arrived. One quick make-out session between making four bags of popcorn later, the glee club was settled in to follow through with Puck and Santana's plan.
While the movie loaded, Rachel threw a kernel of popcorn in the air, only for Quinn to catch it in her mouth. Santana rolled her eyes at them in annoyance, speaking softly so that the others wouldn't hear her. "For two people that aren't dating, they're a disgustingly cute couple." Brittany smiled and turned toward the movie.
"'The L Word'? What's this about?"
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"What the hell, Satan? Two gay guys don't want to watch a group of girls getting it on!"
"Actually, Kurt–"
"Not now Blaine!"
"The Puckasaurus likes it"
"Stop referring yourself in the third person, Noah. Santana, please cease playing this show, everyone is obviously uncomfortable!"
"With the exception of Porcelain and Pretty Boy, the guys don't look uncomfortable"
"Actually, Santana–"
"NOT NOW BLAINE!"
/*\.../*\
"Well that was a disaster"
Kurt glared at Puck and Santana, before turning his chin. "Of course you two would come up with something that has to do with sex".
Puck smirked and flexed his biceps before Mercedes scoffed. "Show your little arms to people that care, horn dog. Anyway, Tina, Kurt and I have a plan that will definitely get those two together!"
\.../*\.../
"Alright guys, operation Faberry will start once we get to the carnival, okay?"
Sam waved his hand in annoyance, continuing until Tina acknowledged him. "Hey, Team Quinchel here, I thought we decided it was going to be Faberry-Quinchel" Tina glared at Sam "Not now Troutymouth" Sam's mouth widened in shock and offense, and a majority of the club had to stifle their laughter, Santana having the most trouble.
With a huff, Tina pointed to Finn, Kurt, and Santana. "Finn, you take puck and Lauren in your truck. Kurt, you pick up Rachel and bring as many people in your SUV as possible. Santana, bring Quinn and anyone that doesn't go with Kurt. Break!"
After Santana was finished threatening Tina for telling her what to do, they made their way to the carnival in town.
/*\.../*\
"Where the fuck did you guys go?"
Santana rolled her eyes and took a sip from her soda. The gleeks had decided that after they ditched the duo, they should go out to eat and celebrate. In the process of taking a sip, she caught sight of a slightly scared looking Kurt being yelled at on the phone. With a bit of wariness, Santana answered the blonde in a way that made it look like she was unaffected.
"Calm your tits, bitch. Shut the fuck up and talk right, before I cut you" Santana thought her threat might have worked, but Quinn was in full HBIC mode.
"These carnies are freaks, and you guys just left us alone? Rachel checked Facebook, and Sam just tagged you in a group photo that says you assholes are at McDonalds" Santana spared a glare directed at Sam, who was already cowering due to an irate Kurt yelling at him. It must have been Rachel yelling at him.
"And? Your problem?" Santana was proud of her acting skills, because those skills were really coming in handy right now.
"You guys drove us here, bitch!"
Santana cast a second glare, this time at Tina who insisted that Quinn and Rachel come separately, and told Quinn she was on her way. As she grabbed her keys, she knew she was going to bring those two back. There was no way she was facing those two alone.
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"Your plans sucked. Sorry guys" After a moment's thought, Brittany added "Hashtag, sorry-not-sorry." The club looked at Brittany for a moment, but decided to ignore it for the time being. Clapping his hands enthusiastically, Blaine looks around the group with a bright smile. "Okay, does anyone else have any ideas?" The club looks at Blaine curiously, before Finn asks the questions on everyone's mind. "Are you and Rachel, like, related or something?" Blaine quirks his eyebrow, but doesn't stop smiling. "No, why do you ask?" The club looks at one another, silently questioning the validity of the statement. Mercedes avoids Blaine's eyes when she responds with, "No reason"
It's silent for a moment before Brittany breaks it. "Let's do Lady and the Tramp" Everyone, even Santana, look at Brittany in confusion. "What do you mean, Britt?" Brittany huffs, as though it's the simplest thing in the world, and the club is still confused, even when Sam suddenly gasps as though he understands every word Brittany has said so far.
"Do you mean?"
"Exactly"
"That will"
"Be the best plan!"
"Right?"
The club is perplexed, and they wonder again if other members of their club are siblings. When Sam and Brittany face them fully, and smile widely, they know they can't say no to their plan.
"Operation Quinchel-Faberry is a go!"
"Damn it, Sam! Forget the name already!"
/*\.../*\
Santana glares down at the meatballs simmering on the stove, and wonders how she got stuck making food for the most idiotic people she knows. When she recalls the kiss that followed Brittany's request, she nearly forgets about the food as a whole.
"San, Rachel and Quinn are going to be here in a little bit" Santana smiles sweetly at her girlfriend before glaring at Artie and Puck, who are laughing as they prepare some red Kool-aide for the 'dinner party'. They quickly stop and hurry to finish before Santana finally snaps.
About ten minutes later, Quinn arrives with Rachel, both of them acting so coupley Santana gags for a moment before finally bringing the spaghetti and meatballs to the table. Finn grins when she places the pot of spaghetti in front of him and Puck, muttering a quick "thanks" before digging in.
"Wow, Santana. I never took you for the cooking type." Santana glares at Mercedes for a moment, before smiling. "Thanks Aretha, but if any of y'alls tell anyone, I will CUTS you" Mike only smiles at Santana before digging in, and Santana wonders about when she lost her edge.
Eagerly, Brittany and Sam look at their targets, and wait for them to ask about plates. Finally, Quinn speaks up. "Hey Santana, can you get another plate? There's only one left on the table" Santana scowls at the request because damn it, she wasn't a maid for anyone but Brittany. "Bitch, I'd tell you to do it yourself, but I don't have any more plates. I guess you and the oompa-loompa have to share one." Quinn frowns, but fills her plate and looks on the table for forks.
"Are there any more forks?" Brittany and Sam are grinning nearly maniacally, and the rest of the club is discreetly looking up from their food to see if the plan will work. Santana smirks, for real this time because she knows that she is a great actress. "Just one, so you and Berry have to share." Quinn blushes, but Rachel sets a reassuring hand on her forearm.
"You can have the plate, I packed my own dinner and–" Santana loses all smugness and stares incredulously at the small girl. "Excuse me? You packed your own dinner? After I used my blood and tears to make–" The small girl quickly interrupts, determination set on her features. "And the blood and tears of poor cattle crafted this meal! Cows were slaughtered so that you could all eat these meatballs, and furthermore–" Santana wants to stop it almost as soon as it starts, but Brittany beats her to it. "What does slaughtered mean?" Rachel thinks for a moment before answering. "Slaughter means to kill, in a really mean way, Brittany. These meatballs were made from the bodies of hundreds of innocent cow lives. Also–" Rachel stops when she sees tears falling from Brittany's eyes, and Sam's eyes getting the tiniest bit redder.
Santana groans in annoyance before angrily stabbing a meatball with her fork. That's when things start to go crazy.
"San! Don't kill the cows!"
"What? Britt, the cows are already dead"
"Did you kill a cow?!"
"Sam stay out of this!"
"I think we deserve a real answer, San!"
"Brittany, I didn't mean–"
"Goddammit Berry, you started this shit in the first place!"
"Don't yell at Rachel like that!"
"Yeah Santana, not cool"
"Whatever, I'm just going to eat"
"No! You can't!"
"What? Brit! Why not?"
"Because you kill a cow when you eat spaghetti"
"No, Brittany, I didn't mean–"
"Berry…"
"You know, I'm not really all that hungry"
"Me neither."
"Ditto"
"Home?
"Home."
"Dammit Berry, look what you started!"
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The room echoed with Brittany's sobs, and the circles under Santana's eyes kept people as far away as possible. Lauren, however, wasn't afraid. "Alright, while I think the obsession you all have with getting those two together is slightly creepy, your actions are kind of noble. That said, Blaine and I have a plan for Puck's party next week."
"Operation Faberry–"
"Sam! Give it a rest before I stuff my entire fist down your big mouth!"
/*\.../*\
"Alright guys, gather around for some sexing up!" Lauren watched from the corner of her eye as Quinn sat down, looking miserable without Rachel attached to her side. It was sad to look at, so Lauren elbowed Puck hard in the ribs to get him to ask. She wasn't a pansy.
"Hey Baby mama, where's Rachel?" The mention of her name seemed to make Quinn look even more miserable, and Lauren wondered if she practiced looking like a sad puppy in her free time.
"Her grandma fell and broke her hip last night, so Rachel left this morning to help take care of her. She won't be back for two weeks."
The mood among the gleeks instantly dropped. This party was supposed to be the day that they finally got the two together. In an instant, everyone cursed Grandma Berry for falling in the first place.
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In Columbus, Rachel handed a tissue to her grandma when she suddenly let out a little sneeze.
"Are you okay, Gammy?"
Grandma Berry nodded, and wiped her nose free of any fluids. Satisfied with her grandma's state, Rachel turned back to the TV.
"Star Trek really is an interesting show, don't you think?"
/*\.../*\
"Guys, I think after this plan, we should just give up. Maybe they're just really close friends?"
The club nearly laughed at Artie's suggestion of them being 'just friends'. Ludicrous, that's what that idea was.
"So, I got to thinking–"
"Really? Great achievement Flubber"
"Fuck you"
"Already have. And have to say, not that–"
"Santana!"
"Whatever. Continue your irritating monologue"
"You know what Satan?"
"Guys! Anyway Artie, and Finn and I all saw a flyer for a movie under the stars. We figure we could kind of incorporate all the plans together"
Santana sat up slightly more interested than before. "Speak, Boy Asian"
Artie rolled over to an easel that they had taken to setting up every time they had one of these meetings, and used the old drafts from the previous plans.
"In plan one, we get them to watch a romantic movie together. This movie night is in a liberal part of Lima, so those two sitting together to watch a romance movie won't make them uncomfortable."
Flipping to the next page, he continued.
"From plan two, we take the abandonment route. This time, we have Quinn meet us there, then we can just ditch them when they aren't looking."
Mike flipped to the next page for Artie and continued for him.
"In plan three, we ask Quinn to bring some snacks. Specifically fruits and vegetables, and we tell her that we're bringing the rest."
Finn finished the last of the plan with a proud smile.
"We didn't think we could really use the last plan because we couldn't see if their reactions were."
The club all looked at the three proud boys in front of them, and all thought that this plan just might work.
\.../*\.../
It rained.
"My weave!"
"Screw your weave! What about my makeup?"
"Calm down, let's just get under the tarp in Finn's truck with everyone else"
"Oh my God, Quinn! Your face!"
"Is there avocado in this? I'm allergic damn it!"
"You know, I just might have an epi-pen lying around. Just let me look"
"Guys, I thought you said the movie would be romance? This stuff has sparkly vampires, and the actors don't change their faces"
"Dude, the movie is called 'Twilight'"
"Puckerman, I demand to know how you know this movie title before I drop your ass"
"You have to admit though, the acting may be terrible, but these actors look great"
"Blaine, if I hear you say anything like that again in reference to Twilight of all things, I swear…"
"I don't know, I kind of agree with him"
"Right? Sparkly vampires sound cool. Almost like dolphins"
"Ay dios mio, I'm surrounded by idiots. Not you though, Britt."
/*\.../*\
Operation Faberry-Quinchel was a bust. Santana always thought she had great plans, but this one seemed like it absolutely refused to even be considered. Five plans were made, and five of them flopped.
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe God had decided that a lot more time was needed before those two finally hooked up.
\.../*\.../
When Quinn and Rachel entered the choir room later that day with flushed faces, holding hands, she should have been happy.
Should have been.
Instead, she had to be held back from attacking the two of them.
/*\.../*\
Holy crap, that took forever to write! I just learned about this Faberry week on Saturday, so I worked my ass off to finish this. I finally got it done though, so cheers, right? Not sure if it followed the theme of UST, but I hope you all like it.
If anyone can tell the order in which the gleeks spoke in (plan 5), you get a virtual cupcake :)
*If anyone who reads this is on alert for my old story, I just want to let them know that im working on it at the moment. (Got my laptop and internet access taken away) I only barely got this done, so it might take a while for me to actually update it.