A/N: This story follows after my other fic Scars and Healing, but it can stand alone. At the end of that fic I left our adorable couple kissing. Apparently they haven't made much forward progress since then, so it's time to move them along. It may take a couple chapters though. Going for a bit of humor, a bit of angst and a bit of smut to round it out. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 1

"You nearly blinded poor Cullen."

"Heard about that from him, did you?" Dorian lazily pulled his feet off the table in front of him, set down the book he was reading and looked up at his accuser.

Evelyn glanced furtively around the library making sure no one was close enough to overhear their conversation. "From him, from Cassandra, from Cabot at the tavern, from one of the cook's assistants, from the maid who cleans my rooms...shall I go on?"

"Please do, it's about time the people here started talking about something important for a change. Namely, me."

"...and there was a group of Antivan ladies in the courtyard outside fanning themselves, in the cold mind you, and practically licking their lips as they speculated about the details." She shook her head and crossed her arms trying to look appropriately scolding.

"Care to hear those details?" Dorian offered with a casual smile. "Cullen and Cassandra, sadly, missed the 'detail' portion of the evening."

"Another time, perhaps." Evelyn replied dryly. "The only reason I'm even humoring you by discussing this is because I told them I would have a chat with you on choosing somewhat more discreet places for your romantic escapades in the future. Although why this task must fall to me is a mystery."

"Well, we are family." The sparkle in Dorian's eyes made her grin in spite of herself. Varric's appellation for him was appropriate in more ways than one. She let him continue. "I thought our location was sufficiently discreet, actually. It was quite late after all."

"The Chantry, Dorian?! Really?!" She said that a bit too loud. She noticed a few people turn their heads in her direction, their ears perking up. She retreated further into Dorian's alcove and lowered her voice. "Maker preserve us! We just christened the place. And it opens right into the garden. And..." She stopped when an image of the tryst in question popped unbidden into her head. She closed her eyes and tried to shake it away. Dorian noticed.

"Yeeeesssss?" He purred.

"I just never...I wouldn't have thought...The Iron Bull?" Evelyn spit it out, exasperated.

"Hahaha!" Dorian laughed in victory at drawing a blush into her cheeks. "You can't deny you've thought about what he might be like as a lover. Well, I simply acted on my curiosity. And it was quite worth it I assure you. As I said, I'm willing to share the details."

"I most certainly have never thought about it! And frankly, I don't want to think about it now!" It was the truth, despite Bull constantly inserting innuendo into casual conversation with everyone. Evelyn's thoughts were typically so consumed by Cullen, there wasn't much room for anyone else in her fantasies.

"Ah, dearest cousin, you and your Commander are so adorably..vanilla. What was he doing praying at the Chantry with Cassandra in the middle of the night anyway instead of worshipping at your alter?" He wagged his eyebrows suggestively and smoothed out his mustache.

Evelyn rolled her eyes and sighed. She sat down in the chair opposite her friend. "I convinced him to let Caasandra teach him some meditation techniques to help with the lyrium withdrawal." Dorian was the only person aside from she and Cassandra who knew about Cullen's silent plight. She supposed Leliana knew as well, but that didn't really count, as the Spymaster tended to know everything.

Originally, despite the fact that she wanted a confidant to talk to about it, and Dorian had quickly become her closest friend, she questioned the wisdom of sharing Cullen's personal affairs with anyone. It was Dorian, however, who had suspected the truth of the matter and had brought it up first when she told him they were becoming 'involved'.

"Interesting." He commented vaguely. Evelyn couldn't read his tone. "And is it helping?"

"He tells me that it is. I believe him."

"But?" Of course he would know there was a 'but'.

"But I still worry for him."

"I have no doubt that you do." He clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. "If you want my opinion though, my first recommendation stands. He'd be better off spending the nights in your arms than kneeling on the cold stone of the Chantry floor next to a dour Cassandra. You don't have the benefit of seeing how he is when you're not around. He's every bit as stiff, insufferable and short tempered as your little friend Sera is always saying he is. You introduce a healthy bit of humanity to our Commander. His prickly bits smooth out nicely when he's with you, even if the two of you are overly 'proper' in public. As I said, sometimes vanilla isn't so bad."

"There's nothing wrong with propriety, Dorian. Not all of us can be so...comfortable in our own skins as you are. You know Cullen likes to keep his private business private."

"Yes, going back to private business, you should take my advice and have him take you tonight instead. In the Chantry or otherwise. I garauntee it will do him a world of good compared to this meditation nonsense."

Evelyn sighed again, deeper and somewhat more despondant. "No one has 'taken' anything yet." Saying it aloud seemed to increase her disappointment over the matter.

Dorian sat up straight. "What?" He seemed incredulous. "It's been weeks! Are you sure?"

"Am I sure? What kind of question is that? Of course I'm sure! And 'weeks' isn't all that long by the way."

"You were pining after him for months before that first adorable little interlude on the battlements. Which was hardly the epitome of privacy, by the way." He added smugly.

"Yes, but once again, not all of us are so comfortable with ourselves. And there are extenuating circumstances here as you well know. I think he might be afraid."

Dorian nodded his head in what appeared to be commiseration. "I suppose I can sympathize with that. Women scare the Void out of me as well, but that is the path he's committed to, despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise."

Evelyn couldn't help but chuckle. Dorian always made her feel more lighthearted about things that were weighing heavily on her mind. "While I realize I often strike fear in the hearts of men," she smiled and gave him a wink, "in this situation I believe he is more afraid of himself than of me. He always seems to be holding himself in check. There's some deep bit of tension there that he just can't let go of, even around me. And the other night didn't help."

"And what happened the other night?"

She hadn't yet had a chance to discuss this with Dorian and she was glad to finally be hearing his advice on the matter. "He was waiting up for me, but it was very late when we returned, you remember?"

"I remember you left us to take care of your horse and your bags so you could run up to his tower." Dorian said with a mixture of annoyance and amusement.

"Well, I found him asleep at his desk. I thought to wake him up with a kiss. It was a very bad idea..." Her voice trailed off remembering. She described what happened to Dorian.

Cullen's office was dark, the candles having burned down. She tiptoed over behind his desk but when she leaned into him, he awoke with a start and before she could say anything or back away, he had her by the throat and shoved up against the bookshelves. In the moonlight his eyes were distant and wild. It was as if he wasn't seeing reality. He wasn't seeing her. It had taken several moments of soft words and pleading all while she struggled to draw breath before whatever phantasms of the past plaguing him dissolved, allowing him to return to the present.

Dorian leaned forward, his brow creased with uncharacteristic concern. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" He asked in a low voice.

"Of course not." She assured her secretly protective companion. She couldn't help but wonder how many people had made the mistake of underestimating Dorian based on his easy-going demeanor. It was perhaps his greatest weapon that his flamboyant attitude concealed his very dangerous abilities.

When he relaxed back in his seat, she proceeded with the story, explaining that when Cullen was himself again and the demons behind his eyes had gone, he was mortified. He dropped his hands from her, shaking. He actually ran from his own office, begging forgiveness, leaving her in the dark alone. She didn't know where he went, but he was able to avoid her the rest of the night and the entire next day before he showed up at her quarters the following evening.

He tried to stumble through explanations and apologies, but she would have none of it. He didn't need to explain himself or apologize to anyone, least of all her. He seemed grateful for her response but still deeply troubled.

"I don't think he would ever hurt me, knowingly or otherwise, but I wish there was something I could do to assure him of that. Sometimes his faith in himself seems tenuous at best. I thought perhaps the meditation might help him gain some control over the ghosts he still carries. At least enough to not have his self-doubt come between us. Time will tell, I suppose."

At this point, however, Evelyn wasn't sure anymore if time was helping or hindering them.

Perceptive as always, Dorian agreed with her unspoken concern. "What is it with the two of you and all this 'time' you're allowing to slip away? Time doesn't make the memory of past horrors disappear, believe me. It just makes them more bitter. Making new memories is what eventually pushes them aside. I speak from experience. Which is why I personally take every opportunity to make new memories. Nothing says 'fuck you' to the past like a good fuck."

"Mm-hm." She acknowledged, albeit skeptically. "And how do you presume I go about helping him make those new memories without tripping over his knee-deep angst and unconscious anger issues?" She could only be this frank with Dorian and she was so grateful for it.

"Well, how should I know?" He exclaimed indignantly. "Use those terrifying female wiles of yours, I suppose? Call on past experience? Orchestrate a seduction perhaps? If I had a plan to get past the Commander's formidable emotional fortifications, I would have been defiling your Chantry last night with him instead of The Iron Bull, my dear."

Evelyn couldn't help but laugh; at Dorian, at the situation, but sadly, most of all, at herself. She might as well admit what she had yet to reveal to him. "Regrettably, Dorian, I have no past experience with which to draw from..." She let the implication hang there, allowing him to infer her meaning with out having to speak it outright.

He waited for her to finish, but when she didn't, he narrowed his eyes, tilted his head, pursed his lips and then burst into laughter. "You're kidding! You must be kidding? Is that even possible? Do you know how old you are? You must be the only noble brat alive who hasn't at least dallied with the help. Gods! You're like a griffon or something! Who knew your kind even still existed!" Dorian's excessive mirth was starting to turn heads in their direction again.

"Are you quite finished?" She snapped at him. "Why would I be kidding about this? Do you think this is something someone my age would casually admit to if it wasn't true?"

Dorian eventually composed himself. "And here I thought you Chantry girls were the most wicked of all. Well, no matter. To be honest, I'd wager this is exactly the kind of thing a man like the Commander would just eat up. Literally and figuratively. True love and first times, dashing knights with swooning ladies to protect and all that. It's so romantic I could vomit."

Evelyn just frowned. "Do you have anything constructive to offer?"

There was the sparkle again. "Don't I always? I understand the man has issues, but underneath all that armor is a different person than he lets the rest of the world see. And I have no doubt that person is a fantastic lay."

Evelyn pulled a sour face at him.

Dorian huffed. "Fine. A fantastic lay...and a wonderful man. We just have to get him out of that armor."

"We?" Evelyn was suddenly nervous.

"Yes, we. The two of you are hopeless. You need me. Lucky for you, I'm generous with myself. I shall think on the matter. You may go now." And with that, Dorian waved her away imperiously and picked up his book again.

She smiled and shook her head as she left Dorian to his reading. She trusted him with her life. But did she trust him with her love?