*Two Months Ago:
-Smackle sat in the corner of her bathroom looking at a small stick. As she saw the color change, tears began to appear in her eyes. She then curled up in a ball and began to cry. As she rocked herself back and forth, she began to slowly speak to herself.
Smackle: How did I do this to myself?
*Six Months Ago:
-At an outdoor pool, Smackle was being pulled out of the water by a young adult male lifeguard named Tom. The two then sat on the edge and talked.
"Tom: Okay. Catch your breath. You okay?
"Smackle: Yes. I apologize for causing an inconvenience. I assumed I had the proper skills to swim into the deeper end of the pool and...
Tom: Hey. I'm happy to help. Maybe for now, just stay in the shallow end. If you want, I can give you some free swimming lessons when my shift is done.
"Smackle: That would be most welcomed actually.
Tom: Sounds good. I get off in thirty minutes. Can you stand up?
"Smackle: I believe I can.
-Smackle then tried to stand up but suddenly began to fall again. Tom then quickly held out his hands and touched Smackle's butt keeping her from falling. Smackle blushed. Tom then stood up.
Tom: Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to touch you there. It's just...
Smackle: No, it's okay. You were keeping me from falling. And... I kind of... liked being touched there.
Tom: Oh... really?
*One Month Ago:
-Smackle sat in front of her mother at a dinner table. As they ate, Smackle began to speak.
Smackle: Mother, I was thinking... I'm already in the top of my classes at school and approximately three grade levels ahead of average teenagers my age. Would it be appropriate if I took maybe a year off from classes to explore other avenues such as traveling far away or maybe...
Smackle's Mother: Absolutely not young lady. You can't afford to take a break from your studies for a month. If you want to get into the best universities, you need to show people that you're willing to commit to your studies year round. You do want to get into the best schools out there don't you?
Smackle: Well... yes. I apologize mother. Nothing must interrupt my studies.
*Five Months Ago:
-Smackle was practicing swimming on her back at the pool while wearing a bright pink bikini and green goggles, while Tom stood in the water keeping Smackle's back in place. Eventually Smackle stopped swimming and stood in front of Tom.
Tom: Great swimming Smackle. Although you don't need to wear those large goggles while swimming here. I know they keep water out of your eyes but they also prevent you from seeing much.
Smackle: But they are designed to also keep ultraviolet rays from hurting my optics.
Tom: You'll be fine without them. I'll show you.
-Tom then grabbed Smackle's goggles off her face and put them in his swimsuit pocket.
Smackle: Hey. Give those back.
-Smackle then reached forward and put her hand into Tom's pocket. As Smackle moved her hand around Tom's pocket, Tom moved his hands onto Smackle's hips trying to push her away.
Tom: Hey. Don't put your hands in there. I...
-Suddenly Smackle felt through the cloth of Tom's swimsuit - the shape of something large and hard underneath the suit. As Smackle rubbed it, she felt it get larger and harder. Tom suddenly moaned and then by sudden instinct, he moved his hands underneath the cloth of the middle of Smackle's bikini bottom. Smackle moaned for a moment, and then the two suddenly backed away from each other. The two were silent for a moment and then spoke up.
Smackle: I would... like to explore these sensations later. They are unlike... anything I've experienced. You know... there is an all men's practice at six tonight. With the complete availability of the women's locker room at our disposal, we could meet...
Tom: No. How about you come over to my house instead?
Smackle: That would be... most interesting.
*Two Weeks Ago:
-Smackle sat alone on a subway train. Tears came from her eyes as she looked at several pamphlets for prestigious universities in her hand. Then she looked at one pamphlet hiding behind them. A pamphlet with the title: emPlanned Parenthood/em. Smackle then looked at the back of the pamphlet and saw a small map with directions to a specific clinic.
Smackle: Oh God. What am I about to do?
-Smackle then heard the train stop and she saw the doors open. Smackle then stood up and slowly began to walk through the train doors.
*Four Months Ago:
-Smackle laid back on a bed with just her underwear on as Tom came down on her also wearing just underwear and began to kiss her. As the two kissed, Smackle felt Tom start to pull on her underwear and then pull it off. Smackle broke then kiss and then spoke.
Smackle: Wait. What are you doing?
Tom: Well we've spent a month exploring how every part of our bodies can be pleasured by the others' body parts except in one area. I want you to feel me inside of you Smackle. You're too beautiful to not feel my love in you.
Smackle: Yes. But I...
Tom: But don't you want to feel my love, my warmth, and my everything in you? I love you so much. It's time to stop getting pleasured like a girl, and begin to make love like a woman.
Smackle: Well... I do want to experience all of the wonders and sensations of womanhood.
Tom: Then lets do it. We've got the house free for the next six hours anyway. I want you to feel every position here in bed, on the couch, on the floor, and in the shower. This is gonna be the greatest day of your life.
-Smackle began to shiver as she closed her eyes and felt Tom pull all of her underwear off. After a moment of Tom pulling his own underwear off, Smackle suddenly felt a sensation like no other. She kept her eyes closed as the sensations she was feeling overtook her entire mind. Smackle could no longer think. All she could do was feel these new sensations, and moan loudly.
Smackle: Oh! Oooohhhhh! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Present Day
Smackle: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
-Smackle sat curled up in a ball with her clothes on in a corner of the girls' locker room. From a door nearby, Riley and Maya entered the locker room.
Riley: Hello? Who's in here? We heard screaming and just wanted to...
Maya: Riley, look. It's Smackle.
-Riley and Maya upon seeing Smackle ran over and sat next to her.
Riley: Smackle, what's wrong?
Smackle: What's wrong is I'm a terrible person. A terrible, terrible person!
Maya: Smackle, what happened?
Smackle: I must be an idiot. Just a big idiot. That's why I did it. Stupid Asperger's Syndrome. I couldn't see how wrong it was. I was just too focused on exploring the aspects of...
Riley: Smackle, you're making no sense to us.
Smackle: Exactly. This makes no sense. This makes absolutely no sense.
Maya: Smackle, just start at the beginning. What happened?
Smackle: I... I became fascinated this past summer with a male swimming instructor of mine. Over time, we both became fascinated by touching the other's body in many areas. And then finally four months ago, I allowed myself to... Oh God. I allowed myself to... experience sexual intercourse with him.
Maya: Wait. This happened four months ago. So why are you only crying now?
Riley: Maya, can't you tell... she became pregnant.
Maya: What? Smackle. Is that...
Smackle: Yes. I found out a month after our day of intercourse I was pregnant.
Maya: Wait. You're pregnant? You mean you have a little baby growing inside of...
Riley: Maya, stop. She isn't crying because she emis/em pregnant. She's crying because she emwas/em pregnant.
Maya: Oh... OH! Oh my God. I'm so sorry Smackle. I...
Smackle: It's just... I had my whole future ahead of me. I've been fixated since I was little on finding the best university and job for myself one day. And I couldn't allow that plan to be backtracked for even a day. So I went to a clinic and I... I ended my problem. And now I hate myself. I got rid of a human life inside of me because it was inconvenient. I'm a terrible person. I...
-Suddenly Riley moved forward and hugged Smackle.
Smackle: Why are you initiating this form of physical closeness with me?
Riley: Because I know you need it.
-Riley then let go of Smackle and then sat right in front of her.
Riley: It's going to be okay Smackle.
Smackle: How certain can you be of that? With every moment I am alone, I find myself unable to move and think only negative thoughts. I currently inflict pain on myself out of guilt for what I've done. I eat in smaller quantities than I should. Because I don't deserve any good in my life. What kind of individual who claims to be intelligent ends a human life just for their own inconvenience. And if I am a person who is capable of making these types of choices, what does that say of what kind of person I am to become in the future?
Riley: Smackle, listen to me. You have two choices to make from here on out. Continue to sit in your sadness and dwell on the horrors of what you did... or choose to take what has happened to you and grow from it. You say the choice you made was bad. So what choices will you make next? How do you plan to make yourself better from here on out? What you did in the past is part of who you are now. So how do you plan to take that part of you and improve it?
Smackle: It's easy for you to speak of growth. You've never been pregnant and had to...
Riley: Smackle, I was once pregnant too. I was violated by some guy I met when I snuck into some college party and... I felt everything you felt. And... I had abortion. I hated what I did after, even though I knew why I did it. I'm still not completely over it. I still write letters to the child I never had and have even dreamed about them.
Smackle: But... how am I supposed to move forward in these upcoming months. I'm certain you with your understanding family and friends, were able to after several years grow to a point where...
Maya: Smackle, Riley got pregnant and had an abortion less than six months ago.
Smackle: What?
Maya: Sorry Riley. I didn't know if you didn't want me to say it or...
Riley: It's okay.
Maya: Smackle, I was there for Riley when she told me about what she did. And despite however wrong I think her choice was, the fact was she made it. So all I could do from that point forward was continue to love Riley as she was, and help her move forward. And we'll do that with you too Smackle. But I think the new question we have here is... Smackle... can you continue to love yourself so you can move forward?
Riley: Smackle, the choice you made has been made. So what do you do next?
Smackle: I suppose... I could dedicate my life to helping others going through forms of depression, just as you both have attempted to do with me.
Riley: And perhaps with time... put better thought into what you want your future love life to be like.
Smackle: Do you believe I could have a love life one day? Would an individual have interest in making love to me even after I've done it with another individual I should not have been with? My intercourse with them would lose its' special importance.
Riley: Smackle, you had sex with a guy. But I don't think you loved him. It was the same with me. Some guy took my virginity away, but I've yet to make love with that special somebody in my life. So when I finally do make love with my one true special person, it'll truly be my first time and it emwill/em be special.
-Maya smiled as she looked at Riley. Riley and Maya then helped Smackle stand up as Riley spoke again.
Riley: It's okay if you don't feel completely better by the end of the day. This is gonna take time. But you will get better with time if you try to. You will get better.
-Smackle then hugged Maya, and then hugged Riley.
Smackle: You both have my thanks. Thank you so much.
Riley: No, thank you Smackle. I actually was honestly wondering if any good could have come out of what I had to go through. And now I finally see.. that it has.
THE END
*Author's Note - Be sure to check out my recently created "Girl Meets Andi Mack" fanfiction tale which is the first ever crossover between Andi Mack and Girl Meets World. Be sure to favorite and leave comments for that story and this one.