Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note nor My Chemical Romance's "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" lyrics.
A/N: Not a songfic I was planning to write but... Imagine feeling stifling hot and tired from the physical work you've done a moment ago, sitting under a tree and hearing absolute silence... And then the church's bells start ringing. I was trying to put this feeling into words but failed miserably, eh...
So, inspired by autumn atmosphere and Gerard Way's voice in this song... Epic.
Indifference
He didn't know the sound of silence. Since the day he was born, through all the abuse he received, the ringing bells always accompanied him. His eyes stayed indifferent but he was screaming inside. Unable to feel accomplished, unable to make them stop. Even now, in the noisy canteen of Wammy's House, all he could hear were them. They were calling him.
Where?
He didn't know.
But he kept struggling, kept trying to be better. Maybe then someone would explain it to him, maybe he wasn't worth the explanation yet? The rosary he was wearing wasn't helping, as it never did. God never listened. And yet Mello tried to contact him, to hear one word from the Almighty. He prayed every night, asking the same question over and over again.
God never replied.
He considered finding help, something like this doesn't happen to healthy people, right? And yet something stopped him.
Two words.
The first two words he heard from Matt.
When he rose his head, preparing to scowl at any person that decided to invade his personal table, their eyes connected for the first time...
The bells went silent.
Mello nodded slowly, eyes wide and panic rising in his chest. The other boy took a seat across him, clearly unaware of his little breakdown. Why did it stop? What was so special about this redhead wearing funny goggles? The other boy glanced at him and a corner of his mouth rose a bit, causing Mello's heart to sink. "I'm Matt, by the way."
The bells were there again, this time so loud they gave him a headache. Mello rubbed his temples, a chocolate bar hanging from his teeth barely soothing. Three years passed. Three years since he left Wammy's and started a dangerous game with a serial murderer that killed his master. He was nothing like before, his tights and heart covered by black, shiny leather. If nobody understood him he will never bother to let them anywhere near his soul.
He still followed the bells, still wanted to show the world his worth.
A sudden movement on the video footage caught his attention. They were coming and Mello certainly wouldn't give up without a fight.
Silence. The sting of pain flowing through him from time to time. Not even a clock's ticking. Nothing... but gentle exhaling and quiet tapping of fingers on a video game. Where was he? He wasn't sure. Where were the bells? He turned his head, barely able to force his sight to focus.
He was hunched on a chair beside the bed, eyes fixed on a game he was trying to finish. A familiar yet so foreign sight. He didn't smoke before. He wasn't so tall before. Mello's never seen this shirt before. But the vibe this person gave away... It felt warm.
The figure rose it's eyes and the redhead smiled in the darkness of the room. "Welcome back, Mello"
They were laying together on a narrow bed, arm to arm and head to head. A few hours was all that was left of their lives. Just a few hours to find something marking their existence as worth remembering. Mello felt his chest rise and fall steadily, instinctively knowing Matt was doing it at the same pace. Neither of them had their addictions on them at the moment. The silent pressure was too great to soothe it with them. The blond turned his head, meeting green eyes.
Breath in.
Breath out.
A quiet creak was all he could hear as Matt turned on his side and moved to hover above him. Then the shuffling of the striped fabric as the redhead hesitated for a moment, taking off his gloves as he straddled the blond. Mello never moved, never made a sound, only his eyes drinking in the sight. Matt brushed a few blond strands away from his face, his thumb ghosting over the unpleasant reminder of the one time Mello stumbled in his race against Kira and Near.
Everything was going to end soon and they both knew it.
Matt leant down, putting his lips near Mello's ear and whispering two words, exactly the same as the first time.
"May I..?"
The bells were ringing again, mocking him. The abandoned church was all he would see in his last seconds. Breath in and breath out as pain shot through him, freezing him to the core.
That wasn't what was supposed to happen.
This wasn't the perfect ending he's dreamt of.
But at least now he knew. Now he knew what was the thing that the bells tried to make him follow.
Matt.
His other half. His air and his nutrition, his partner and his friend.
And he lost it with one bullet and one last breath.
Because God never existed.
"But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?"