Keeping Your Eyes on the Prize

by Grand Master Shoma

The daily lives of the Gorin, Gedo, and Seijyun High School members... with hilarious results! R & R, please!

Keeping Your Eyes On The Prize: A Rival Schools Story:

By Apollo Alexandre, a.k.a. "Grand Master Shoma"

I'll be blunt: I do not own these characters, but I own this story.Don't steal it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday morning, 7:15 A.M.May 4

"Akira! Get up already!" Daigo yelled as he was preparing breakfast for himself and his little sister. It was a meal that was fit for a king, but where was Akira? "AKIRA!! You're going to be late! C'mon! Pick up the pace!" As he was eating his breakfast, he was observing the morning paper, and laughing out loud in the funnies. Then, he was stung by the realization of Akira's absence. This naturally upsetted Daigo. "AKIRA!! GET DOWN HERE, YOU STUPID BITCH!!" When he was finally climbing the stairs to Akira's room, he was bashing on the door, saying lightly, "Akira! You're gonna be late for school! C'mon, I have to get to school too, you know." When he bashed down the door, he saw Akira quickly awaken out of her bed, along with Hinata and Tiffany. He politely threw Hinata and Tiffany out the window, and dragged Akira out of bed.

He was pissed. He forced Akira to explain why Hinata and Tiffany were in her bed. She only said that those three were screwing around with each other. After Akira rushed with breakfast, she grabbed her motorcycle and drove off in the morning sunrise.

"Wait a minute!!" Daigo yelled off in the horizon, "How do I get to school?!"

Same Friday, 8:00 A.M.

"Hey man, where the hell were you?" Edge remarked after seeing Daigo running to the school, running short out of breath.

"Akira puff threesome with other girls puff drove off without me."

"Bitchin' man. Trounced by your own sister!"

"So, who did she sleep with?" Gan asked.

"Hinata Wakabi and Tiffany Rose." Daigo implored.

"They be fine sluts." Edge stated, "She was very lucky indeed."

"I don't need this now," Daigo mumbled harshly as he grabbed Edge by the hair, "I just saw my sister sleeping with two other girls, which I feel TOTALLY uncomfortable around. I don't need you to point that out." And he chucked Edge in the air. He had a dead stare at Gan, and said, "Don't start with me. I can lift fat people too, tubby!"

"Ow, man. Very ow."

As the bell rang, Daigo stomped inside the school in a angry rage. Gan was wondering if Daigo was being controlled again by an evil source. He thought he was just angry, because he didn't want to face the truth: his sister is a slut.

Attendance was simple that day: all students were there except for Edge, and Edge comes flying through the window as his name is called. During English class, Daigo was daydreaming while becoming lost in his textbook. He imagined that Akira was a stripper at a whorehouse, taking petty amounts of yen, and giving men blowjobs. Every time he tried to think of something else, that god-blasted image came back in his mind. Not only did this happen in English class, but also in the other classes he excelled in as well. When the school day finally ended, Daigo walked home by himself. Although Akira came by to pick him up, he just left her like she left him in the morning. As he was walking, he was halted by Zaki, and asked him what's wrong.

"What's wrong Daigo? You're not acting like your usual self today." Zaki wondered.

"Zaki, I got a problem." Daigo paused, then continued on, "This morning, when I went to wake up Akira, I also saw Tiffany and Hinata in the same bed with her. I can't look at her straightly anymore. I keep getting these images of Akira in my head, where she's a stripper at a whorehouse. And you know how I feel about that."

"If that's true, then maybe I shouldn't tell you about how Akira and I made out in class today."

Daigo simply reacted with "WHAT!!"

"It was for Sex Ed. We were discussing about the rights female homosexuals have in this world. Akira and I role-played a scene, and she threw in a kiss at the end."

"Wow," Daigo said in a emotionless tone, "She is a slut."

"Cheer up man. I'm sure you can settle this. All you have to do is tell Akira that you feel uncomfortable about her, sleeping with other women."

"If she was sleeping with men, this I can deal with. But since she's screwing people of the same gender as herself, it's difficult."

"Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out Daigo." And as Zaki left Daigo sitting on the park bench alone, he came up with an idea. When he saw Akira at home doing her homework, he called her into the basement. When she made it down the creaky stairs, he tackled her down, and tied her to a truth-and-lying detector. He's interrogating his own sister for the love of God, but it'll get interesting.

"O.K. Akira, I'll ask you some questions, and answer truthfully, alright?"

"O.K."

"Did you or did you not sleep with Hinata and Tiffany?"

"No buzz alright, alright, I did."

"Was it a sleepover that you three were having?"

"... Yes buzz alright, I give in. We were fucking."

"Why?"

"It was an idea that I came up with, personally. At first, I wondered if Hinata and Tiffany would come over, do our homework, and sleep over at my place. Then, after we were finished our homework, we decided to go to my room, get pig drunk, and fuck."

"I see."

"Now, will you unhook me off this thing? I don't deserve this kind of punishment buzz."

"Do you have a true lover?"

"Yes, it was Zaki. But then she dumped me for Yurika."

"Was it because you couldn't attract any guys that you played one of your best friends to get a good time?"

"... No buzz What the fuck?! That's the truth buzz Damn it!! Am I that unattractive to men? I think that's full of shit buzz" This drove Akira to the breaking point, and destroyed the machine.

"Holy shit." was all Daigo said. "Two words: anger management."

"Don't start with me, Daigo. I can lift big people too, you know?"

Saturday Afternoon, 1:25 P.M. May 5

It was a nice, lazy Saturday. Daigo and Akira went to the beach to catch some waves, and soon noticed the students from Gorin High: Shoma running away from a frantic Momo and Natsu, Roberto playing soccer with some kids, and Nagare saving someone's life.

"Help me!!" Shoma yelled for dear life while Natsu and Momo were clinging onto him like leeches.

"Get away from him, bitch," Momo angrily shouted, "He's mine!"

"Like hell he is, you little whore," Natsu screeched, "He's MINE!!!"

After Shoma sent the both of them flying with his HOME RUN HITTER move, he was having a small conversation with Daigo.

"What's the matter man?" Daigo asked.

"I don't know how to tell Natsu that I love her."

"Tell me about it. I just need a girlfriend."

"What's your dream, Daigo?"

"Well, my athletic midget friend, my dream is to... get a license, and finally ride the motorcycle."

"Well man, just keep your eyes on the prize!"

"Thanks man." And as Daigo went to his beach towel to get a tan, Shoma asked "Where's Natsu?" Daigo simply replied "You just sent Natsu and Momo flying with your HOME RUN HITTER attack."

"Oh."

Tuesday Evening, 9:00 P.M. May 8

Daigo was just sitting on the park bench reading the evening news, whilst Akira slept on his shoulder. He overheard Edge and some other guys talking.

"Okay guys, this is how the joke goes." Edge told, "There's an edge of a board with a nail on it. It goes up to, say, Akira, and tells her 'I'm gonna NAIL ya!!' "

Naturally, this upsets Daigo. He just solemnly got up, grabbed Edge by the collar of his clothes, and lightly reasoned with him. "YOU WILL STAY FAR AWAY FROM AKIRA. YOU HEAR ME!?" Edge just replied back in mercy, "Daigo, man, its just a joke." Even more pissed, he growled, "A Joke?!?! OH, SO MY DEAR SISTER HAS BECOME THE CENTER OF YOUR CORNY JOKES? ALL THE MORE BETTER TO STAY AWAY FROM HER." Clenching Edge's hair in the tightest of grips, he replied in an evil tone, "AND IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE, STAY AWAY FROM ME AS WELL... for 2 months. NOW, GO AWAY!!!" And he chucked Edge in the air. Startled by the noise, Akira woke up.

"Daigo? What happened?"

"It's nothing. Go to sleep." Daigo replied in a calm, brotherly tone.

"Shouldn't we go home?"

"Akira, don't start with me."

Wednesday Afternoon, 12:56 P.M. May 9

"Hey, haven't you noticed something?" Edge pointed out.

"What?" replied a Gedo student.

"I haven't seen Gan around this school for 2 weeks now. Where the hell is he?"

"I don't know. Who cares about Gan?"

"What?! He maybe a big, fat, stupid moron who should cut down on food for a couple of weeks, and has the sub-normal intelligence of that Batsu fellow from Taiyo, but he's still our good friend. He's my best bud."

"Edge, I've never seen this side of you before. Are you on Ritalin, man?"

"I... don't know."

"Hi." Daigo said. As Daigo passed by Edge and the student, he gave Edge a cold, deadly stare of death. I think he knows why Daigo is giving him that stare.

"Hey man," the student asked, "Do you know where Gan is?"

"Gan? I haven't the foggiest where." Daigo replied back, but then something hit him in his head. "Of course!! I keep seeing him working near his soda stand where the Seijyun students hang out."

"What?! That's 'dame country'. He must be lucky."

At the same time, at Gan's Soda Stand near Seijyun High, we see Gan taking a sign off the stand, and opening the stand. As soon as he opened it, a flood of students came to barrage the stand. After roughly 20 minutes of sales, Akira quickly ran up to the stand, and Gan gave her her usual. He then beckoned to Akira to try his newest drink, called 'Grape Stompers'. As soon as she drank the substance, she spat it out. When she asked what it was, he told her that it was crushed grapes, which was stomped by the old methods of wine making. She suddenly was pale and ghostly white. She was struggling to get to the school as fast as she could, but instead puked before she could make it. After 5 minutes of throwing-up, Gan reminded her that she still had classes to go to, and struggled inside. He closed down the stand for the day. While counting his sales, Daigo appeared. "Enjoying your green?"

"Yes, very much. I'll gain enough money to finally get that LeAnn Rimes CD, then Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and then some."

"Hmmmm.... tskYou know that the school considers you to be skipping classes, right?"

"WHOOPS!!"

Gan got detention for 3 weeks. "Sorry about you getting detention, Gan. I'll watch the stand while you work off your detention."

Gan remarked back to Daigo, "It's okay. It'll give me time to think about some new flavor projects."

"I don't know man. Don't give up on this 'Grape Stompers'. It's delicious!" As Daigo gulped down his 'Grape Stompers', he asked Gan, "Dude, how do you make this?"

"It's like I told Akira..." Gan smirked, "... Do you remember how wine was made in the old days?"

"Yeah, its..." Daigo paused, then started to get that blue anime-sickness hue on his face as he found out that Gan personally crushed the grapes himself. Daigo was soon joined by Akira, also sporting the same blue anime-sickness color. They both fainted on the floor.

Thursday Evening, 6:56 P.M. May 10

"I did it!!!"

"What is it Daigo?" Akira wondered.

"You won't believe this," Daigo explained in a sense of over-excessive giddiness, "I finally got my license!! Now, I can ride the motorcycle as well."

Akira just stared at Daigo in a vacant stare, then started to laugh out loud, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You, riding my bike?! That's so funny!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"Screw you, Akira. Screw you and the entire world!" Daigo said, in a crying tone. He went to the garage, took the skull helmet, revved up the motorcycle, and darted out the garage door. He was performing stunts that would make Akira jealous: monster wheelies, donuts that cause some recent potholes, and even a flip (How he did it without a ramp, I haven't the foggiest). When performing a wheelie, he slipped off the motorcycle, fell and broke his arm, and the motorcycle was sent flying to Edge's house, crashing through the roof and into Edge's bedroom. Before it hit his room, he was muttering to himself, "Damn stupid homework. I ought a kill that damn stupid teacher for giving us too much work."They say that in the distance, you can hear Edge screaming "OKAY ALREADY, I'M SORRY!!" Meanwhile, Akira was examining Daigo's busted up arm.

"OOOOOWWWWW!!!! It's hurts for the love of God!"

"Don't worry brother, I'll think of something." Akira replied while kicking Daigo's arm back in place.

"AAAAHHHH!" Daigo screamed, then relieved, "Say, you're good. Not too bad at all."

Sunday Morning, 9:45 A.M. May 13

As we see Shoma wake up in a crude, yet tasteful manner, we can see the furnishings of his room: posters of countless, upon countless baseball heroes, his lucky red bat, a teddy bear, and a large-ass poster of Natsu. He has a gleam of hope in his eyes. "Oh boy, today I'll finally have enough courage to ask Natsu out!!" And strutting out like a grateful pigeon that gave disease to N.Y., Shoma had good hopes for his plan. That was, until his mother stopped him dead in his tracks.

"SHOMA!!!" his mother yelled.

"What, Ma?" replied her dumbfounded son.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Ma, I'm trying to ask Natsu out. And I know that it's harder than it looks like."

"Will you stop trying to hit on Natsu? There's other girls out there to be, as you kids would say it, doin' some big pimpin'."

"Mom, even if you were young, you shouldn't say that." Shoma paused, then took a deep breath. "Besides Mom, who could I hit on?"

"Well, there's that nice girl Momo."

"Mom, 2 things wrong with that: #1), Momo is considered to be like a little girl of around 8-10, 11 maximum. #2), I don't like Momo."

"Who says you had to be of the same age to love?"

"ME!!!" Shoma yelled, then closed the door. As he stomped out of the door, he thought of happy thoughts: winning the World Series, hitting a home run that lands in Denver, having sex with Natsu. His train of thought was interrupted by a good friend of his.

"Hey buddy! How's it going?" said Roberto.

"Nothing much, man. I remembered the time you got your ass handed by Natsu, because you called her butch!!"

"So? I was pissed at the time. She called me a woman, I called her a cleverly cute man in drag, she called me a stupid goalie, so I called her butch, ass gets handed to self, I get wedgied on the flagpole, yadda yadda yadda, I wake up in my room."

"I sent it to that 'World's Funniest Videos' show, and we got 2nd place."

"There was something more funnier than that?"

"Yes. It was a dog with a pink hat."

As Shoma and Roberto were walking down to the Aoharu Station Square, they were catching a train to Kyushu, to visit Natsu. It was a long-ass ride, and they missed their stops many upon many times. They only arrived at Kyushu at 12:00. They finally emerged off the train, and took a long and arduous walk. It was a nice brisk walk for our two friends. As they were walking, they bumped into Natsu with a full shopping bag. The eggs fell directly on Shoma.

"What the fuck are you two doing?!" she yelled at them, grabbing some Pam and spraying it on Roberto's eyes (If she can pinpoint exactly where Roberto's eyes were under that visor.).

"AAAAHHHHH!!!" Roberto screeched, "It burns! It BURNS!!"

"I was right," Natsu suggested, "He acts like a woman."

"BUTCH!!!!!!!!" Roberto repeated, with barely any vision.

"Where do I come in?" Shoma thought to himself. While Natsu was choking Roberto, Shoma asked out of the blue, "Natsu, do you want to go out with me to the movies? I was thinking of seeing "Moulin Rouge" at 7:00."

"Sure, pick me up at 5:30." Natsu replied back in an angry tone, while giving Roberto the king of all atomic wedgies (It went around his body. Twice).

Shoma couldn't believe what he had heard. Natsu said that she could go out with him! Not only that, they would go to "Moulin Rouge" at the Cineplex! He was in heaven.

"Wait a minute! Hold IT!!" Shoma yelled as time seemed to stop on those two. "You, Natsu Aihara, want to go out with me??"

"I said yes damn it!!" Natsu paused. "Can I proceed on bashing Roberto?"

"Please say no." Roberto replied for mercy in a very, small tone.

"Meh."

Natsu was finishing off her king atomic wedgie, and left him for dead. Roberto thanked Shoma for stopping her, then strutted off.

Same Sunday, 6:30 P.M.

"Natsu!!" Shoma yelled from outside Natsu's house, "Are you ready for your date tonight?"

"Yes, just give me a minute, you jackass!!" Natsu yelled back.

"Is that a compliment?"

"Yes, it was a compliment, Shoma." Natsu replied in a sarcastic tone.

"... Thank you!"

As Natsu went out of her house in a tight cocktail dress and fishnet stockings, Shoma whistled ever so foxily at Natsu, straightened him out, and they drove off in Shoma's mother's car. They managed to make it to the movie, considering the fact that they were caught in a hostage negotiation, for 10 minutes. They didn't bother to get the necessities of the movie (popcorn, pop, and the such), and went straight to the movie theater. When they found their perfect seats, the movie started, just in time. While the two were watching, some action occurred. Shoma attempted to touch Natsu in the thighs, but she smacked him upside the head to straighten him out. Then, Natsu was about to hold his hand, but an unexpected surprise ruined it.

"SURPRISE!!" sprung Roberto as he dumped Natsu with a LARGE garbage bag full of popcorn, making her literally disappear under the mound (I love to ruin moments like this, don't I?).

You can tell Shoma was pissed. "RRRROOOOBBBBBEEEERRRRTTTTOOOO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU DIPSHIT?!"

"This is payback for the afternoon, baby." Roberto spazzed.

"Buddy, even though you're my friend, YOU'RE RUINING THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!" Grabbing him by the goaltender's clothing, he replied in a evil tone, "YOU'VE RUINED MY CHANCES TO GET NATSU!!!. YOU MUST PAY!!"

"Please don't hurt me." Roberto whimpered.

"... That's a joke, right?" And with one nice swing, he chucked Roberto straight through the screen, making sure that his ass was showing. Everyone cheered, but not because Shoma was defending Natsu from the asshole, it was because the movie sucked, and throwing Roberto made it interesting.

"Natsu, about Roberto dropping the popcorn on you. I don't know what got into that nimrod."

"I liked it when you stood up for me," Natsu replied, "I didn't have to do it myself. Thanks."

And as the two engaged in lover's first kiss that lasted five minutes, "BBBUUUUTTTTCCCHHH!!!" was all Roberto said after the movie attendants were wedging him out with a mop. Since the mop end didn't do the job, they wedged him out wood side. "OOWWW!! This doesn't feel right. It's like getting spanked by women, only by men!"

The two went together, and beat his ass good.

Monday Afternoon, 2:55 P.M. May 14

We see Edge and Daigo sitting on the park bench that is adjacent to the Seijyun High School. Edge is just examining his lucky blade, while Daigo is reading the morning paper (He couldn't read it in the morning). They both greeted each other in a non-existent tone, then did their own things. All of a sudden, Edge just cracks for no reason.

"Daigo!!" Edge stated, "Why won't you let me date your sister?"

Folding his paper, Daigo said, "Even though I'm still mad at you, I'm on a nice day. Two reasons why you wouldn't make a good date for Akira. First, you're a hardass, and second, you're violent."

Edge only grunted in pain, surprised about the facts.

"No offense Edge," Daigo explained, "But I want Akira to be with someone who is loving, sweet, sensitive, and will always love her forever. Not someone who will say a few kind words, fuck her in the ass, then dump her out of their life."

"Hey, I'm nice. I'm sweet! I'm sweeter than Jewish wine!!"

"Then prove it." Edge finally got up, and went up to a Gedo student named Gary. He went up to him, not knowing that he held up his lucky knife, and asked, "Hey Gary, am I a violent hardass?" As Edge started to get closer, Gary started to back away. "What!? Don't look at me like I'm gonna freakin gut ya and skin ya!!" Then Gary screeched, then ran away. When Edge realized that he was brandishing his lucky knife, he kissed his chances of dating Akira goodbye. Daigo, doing one of those typical 'anime-teardrops', told Edge, "See, that's why you can't date Akira."

"C'mon man, give me another chance! Please!! Please!!!" Edge begged.

"... Alright."

"Thank you!!" Edge stated as he started kissing Daigo, but he merely shooed him off. He realized something. "Wait a minute, why are you talking to me? I thought you were mad at me."

"I still am!! It just got interesting."

"How do I do it?"

"Well, the bell for the Seijyun students should ring right about... now." Daigo pointed out as the bell rang exactly in time to Daigo's pointing out. "Now, the Seijyun students are coming out right now. Remember, you have to be sweet, charming, but not too..." Daigo was interrupted by Edge's absence. He gave up. "... Oh well, it'll be good for some laughs." Daigo then set himself up behind a bush, setting up a telescope, and eating popcorn. He saw Edge going near Akira, and laughter ensued.

"Hi Akira!!" Edge said while accidentally brandishing his lucky knife.

"... um... Hi Edge." Akira replied back.

"Oh!!" Edge said as he suddenly threw away his knife, while in the distance, Daigo laughed out loud. He then started to become like his brothers of high society, "I wasn't thinking straight." He then held Akira's hand. "Would you like to be escorted to a nice, lovely French restaurant? At say 7:00?" Daigo was laughing in the distance, whilst pounding the ground in humor.

"... You're not Edge!! Edge is never like you! You're a fake!" Akira was screaming for help.

"Huh?"

"ZAKI!!" was all Edge could hear before Zaki launched him in the air. The two were disgraced by Daigo's loud laughter. They gave him a solemn stare, then walked off. Daigo was waiting until Edge came back down from the stratosphere.

"That was fast." was all Daigo said.

"I wanna date Akira!!" Edge was crying as he rubbed dirt off his face.

"Here," Daigo said in a empathetic tone, "Take the cellphone and call Akira up for a date, remember be sweet and sensitive, but not too much, otherwise you'll scare people. While I run home and provide a nice sweet distraction."

"But its a 20 minute walk."

"10 minutes if I run, and 25 seconds if I go light-speed."

Surprised, Edge replied back, "You have a cellphone?"

"I have a cellphone?" When he noticed that it didn't belong to him, and showed a chibi Akira on it, he stated, "I really should return this to Akira." And Daigo was going faster than the speed of light, ran all the way home, didn't bother to open the door because he didn't want to bother getting the key and broke a hole right through it. And finally plopped on the couch. Akira walked in through the hole in the door, surprised and in awe, and saw Daigo taking a siesta on the sofa. Suspecting something, Akira slowly plugged his nose, thus making him panic and move around.

"Daigo." Akira commanded, "Fix that hole in the door this instant!" Noticing that the phone was ringing, she said, "Hold on! I'll get it!"

"I think I'll go out now, get some materials to actually fix the door." as Daigo went outside, and took Akira's motorcycle. Meanwhile, Akira was talking to a mysterious talker.

"Hey baby, it's me, Edge!"

"... Baby?"

"Sorry about this afternoon, about me acting... queer. Do you want to go out with me to a fancy French restaurant? I do after all come from a rich family of high society. Say at 7:30 I should pick you up?"

"... Sure! Bye!"

"Don't hang up!! Are you going to wear anything whorey? Are you going to even wear panties?" Edge persuaded, but hung up before asking about the panties. Edge was just standing around, waiting for Daigo. He arrived just in time, parking the cycle on Edge's foot and hit his shin. Many yodeling screams there.

Daigo, getting off the cycle, asked Edge in a 'big-guy' spazzing, "Are you clean and filthy?"

"What?"

"What time's your date with Akira?"

"7:30."

"And the time being?"

"7:15."

"Well, let's move it!" Daigo screamed as he grabbed Edge by the legs, and dipped his head in the fountain. Edge tried to convince him that he already showered, but Daigo ignored him, and stirred him in the marble fountain. He claimed that Edge's hair was 'not moist enough', so dumped him in the fountain three more times. A little girl was watching the two, and asked her mother what they were doing. The scared mother just took her away, and said bye in a happy tone. Daigo replied back. After much wetness, he dashed Edge to the ceramics shop, and put his hair in the kiln. Many more yodeling screams occur. He tapped his hair when it was done, and Edge quoted "My cranium hurts."

"Now go get Akira!!!!!" Daigo barked as he drove off in the cycle.

Edge, realizing that he needed a car, muttered to himself, "Time to bribe Mom again!" and ran off in the distance.

Same Monday, 7:30 P.M.

"There's no time to put on the brakes. I'll just stop and end up on the sidewalk, bleeding." was all Daigo thought before he hit the fence, and broke through the wall, that led straight into Akira's room, and she was only wearing panties. Obviously, she was scared as hell.

"DAIGO!!!" Akira screamed, "What do you think you're doing here?! You just don't barge into my room, you jackass! GET OUT!! GET OUT!!!!" You can tell she spazzed there, and chucked lotion at his eyes.

"AAAAHHH!!!!! IT BURNS TO THE VERY UTTERMOST CORE OF MY RETINA!!" He then paused, then said "Hey, tropical fresh!" Then he fell out the window. They then heard Edge's car honking outside. "Hey Akira!!" Daigo called, "Your date's here!!" He then walked up to Edge, and told him "Give her a minute, Edge. She's topless right now." Edge gave out veracious catcalls, like 'Let me see your hooters!' But Daigo smacked him silly. Akira came out, wearing an army tank top, light boots, dress pants, and a thick black belt. Very first date sexy! She was quickly fixing her boot, revealing onto Edge her sexy ass. Daigo smacked him back upside the head, and whispered to him, "Don't look at my sister's hot ass!"

"Sorry sir." He then called out to Akira, "Shall we go, Akira?"

"Let's."

And as the two drove off in Edge's convertible, Daigo got a camera, hopped onto the motorcycle, and drove off behind them. Edge noticed that Daigo was following him, and thought, "Damn it!! He said he wouldn't follow me!!" And then threw his lucky blade at the front wheel of the motorcycle, causing Daigo to swerve madly out of control. From the horizon, you could hear him yell with revenge "I'll get you for this, Eiji Yamada!!" and rolled into a ditch.

Fallacy: Any woman who hears the song 'Ride Wit Me' by Nelly will be ever so angry and pissed. This fraud proves once again when the two were listening to it, then Akira got pissed, and booted the radio out of the car.

"Thanks! That song sucked!" Edge congratulated, "But you didn't have to boot the radio out of the car. You could have switched the station."

"Meh, you're rich. You can just buy another radio!"

"Yeah, ...but I'm not that rich."

Finally, the two arrived at the 'Chez Montovalez', the fanciest French restaurant this side of town. It looked like it could be a hobo farm, but inside, it was already glamorous as was interesting. There were chandeliers that twinkled with 5 W bulbs, over all the tables. There was an aquarium, where people could choose their seafood meal by picking the cutest fish there was. The maitre'd had already smelled of pigeons, and had already recognized Edge.

"Ah, it is nice to see you again since you were 5 years of age, Monsieur Yamada." The maitre'd stated, then noticed Akira, "And you brought a mademoiselle. What are her measurements exactly?"

Edge, noticing she was embarrassed, just said, "... Stop it, Bob."

"Don't ruin this for me, Eiji, I need this break. If I don't, then my parents won't let me back in the house!"

"Just give us a table Bob."

"Right this way, monsieur." As the maitre'd took Edge and Akira to their table, she noticed that there were plenty of dead fish, floating to the top of the aquarium, bones and all. Right after the maitre'd sat them down, the waiter came by and took their orders.

Later...

"Aaahhh..." Edge sighed with relief, "That was a meal fit for a king!"

Akira giggled one of those 'anime girl giggles', and told him, "Edge, that was just a salad."

"Well, that's also good too."

When the waiter returned with their main courses, they were a little shocked. Akira's fish meal only consisted of fish bones, and it was still jumping around. "Edge? Is it alright if the fish bones start to hop around?" But Edge only reminded her in a muffled voice, "Akira, please, I'm having problems with the squid!" It was sucking on his face, trying to suck out his face, as Edge quotes. He beated the squid to death his dinner fork, leaving a trail of squid suction pods on his face.

"That's it!! This place sucks ass!!"

"You know Akira, you're right. I'll complain to Bob about this!!"

"Edge, don't. You'll get us kicked out."

"Don't worry, he'll understand. I know Bob."

One minute later...

"GET OUTTA HERE!!" Bob yelled as he threw Akira and Edge out the door. They were ass first on the parking lot.

"See! I told you that we were going to get booted out!" Akira pointed out.

"At least, I thought I knew Bob." Edge said as he was soothing his ass from the chucking.

"Well, we may as well go home... Where's your car?"

"Huh?!" Edge noticed as the car disappeared. "Oh man, the valet boys said they weren't going to take it this time!!"

"Well," Akira said, looking on the bright side, "It's a nice evening. Why don't we walk home?"

"Very well."

As Akira and Edge were walking away from 'Chez Montovalez', the building exploded. He told Akira that he planted a cherry bomb in the furnace. He never expected it to be oh so powerful. As they were walking in the ditch against traffic, they were asking each other personal questions, like 'if they ever did anything stupid enough to piss off their older sibling?' or 'if they ever cross dressed before?'. It got boring after 5 minutes.

"Remember when everyone was surprised that you were a girl?"

"Yeah, I still kicked your ass that time."

"I know, those emotional scars will stay with me forever... Not to mention your awe-inspiring beauty, and... Oh, who am I kidding?" Edge stated, which he gave up right away.

"Eiji Yamada, were you trying to be sweet to me?"

"WHO TOLD YOU?!... I mean, yes."

"It's okay to be sweet, Edge."

"Yeah. You're brother's too soft... not in those terms I mean."

Daigo was watching from some shrubs, seeing the oh so cute moment. He then saw a gang go up behind them ever so slowly, and said to himself, "Oh no, if they kill Akira, I'll kill Edge if he doesn't die already. But if Edge dies... I'll commit Seppuku, whichever comes first." And he was going up behind the gang ever so slowly.

"Edge, do you hear something?" Akira stated in a scared tone.

Alerted, he responded, "Yes, I do." Drawing his lucky blade (How he gets it back, I haven't the foggiest.), Edge told Akira, "I have my blade to protect myself. Do you have something to... Oh no." As he turned around, he saw Akira captured by a entire gang squadron.

"Alright Battousai, I mean rich boy, give us $100,000 otherwise the girl dies." the gang leader requested.

"Alright, I don't want anything happening to Akira," Edge reluctantly pilfered through his pockets, and forked over $99,999.99. "Can you guys spare a penny?"

"Alright bitch, prepare to die!" The gang leader yelled, but as soon he was going to draw his gun, Daigo made a close appearance.

"Let her and the dumbass go!!" Daigo yelled in a battle cry, "If you want to beat up on someone, then bash me all you want, but leave the girl and the boy out of this..." before he could finish, he was tackled by 7 men.

"That was fast." Edge stated.

"Now, I'll kill the girl, the punk, and the Sagat-wannabe." the leader screeched, as he was about to shoot Akira.

"NNOOOOO!!!!!" Edge screamed as he was brandishing his lucky blade to strike at the gang leader, but he then smacked him aside (Like I said, I like to ruin moments like this.) Then when common logic struck Akira, she canned the leader in the nards.

"Nice Akira, now to help Daigo." Edge and Akira got up, and ran to where Daigo was pinned by the seven guys.

She wondered if Daigo was okay, but he only implied, "Oh, I'm fine, for I have a plan." The two didn't get what was going on, but they soon figured it out. They persuaded him to stop, Akira couldn't watch, and Edge was telling him repeatedly "No! No! NO! No! NO!!!!" But they couldn't reach him. "OOooooohhhhhh, Oooohhhhh yeah, you guys are turnin' me on!" All of them ran off Daigo, and into the night. "Why did you do it?" Edge and Akira beckoned at the same time. Daigo slyly stated "Everyone knows that it's not a pretty sight when males get turned on by males. It's just common sense." After they beat the shit out of all the remaining gang members, they walked off into the distance, and discussed about things.

"... Oh, Daigo..." Edge stated quietly, "...We're, still on a date here..."

"Right, and now its my time to leave the scene..." And Daigo walked into the distance.

"... I guess were alone now."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. Let's go home."

"But first, I've always wanted to..." Edge stated when Daigo appeared again, "...Daigo, I need some privacy here."

"Right, and now its my time to leave the scene..." And for the second time around, Daigo walked away into the distance.

"Thank you for saving me against that... weird ass gang."

"Yes, very weird... Say I love you, say I love you, say I love you... Oh the hell with it!!!" Edge spoke as he darted his lips onto Akira's lips. What they didn't know was that Daigo was taking pictures of them. "HEY!! He's ruining our moment! Get him!!" And Edge and Akira were chasing Daigo into the distance.

Tuesday Morning, 8:20 A.M. May 15

It was a common day at the Gedo High School, and uproars were at their highest when they heard what Edge had done last night. They were giving cheers like 'Way to go Edge!', 'You went out with Akira!', 'You are so cool!!'. But Edge only came back at each of them with "It wasn't a big deal. We're only good friends!" That was all silenced when Daigo entered the scene. Angry, he muttered in an harsh tone, "Edge, step into my office." Edge was cowering in fear, then noticed something. "Daigo, you don't have an office."

"Just do it." Daigo came back at him calmly. Now, Edge was scared. When they went into an empty classroom, Daigo was discussing terms with Edge. "Edge, I need to talk about Akira."

"Yes sir."

"Edge... where many have attempted to take Akira out on a date, their efforts were in vain. You, are different. Not only were you able to make Akira truly happy, you were one to me like an equal. I expect you to protect her with your life. Be a man about this."

"Huh?"

"Well, I'm not strong in words, but..." Daigo paused, then bursted into tears of joy, "I LOVE YOU MAN!!!!!!"

Embraced in his large man hug, he only responded with "...Yeah, I love you too man." He then thought to himself, "I prefer the scary-ass Daigo more than the happy-ass Daigo."

Laughing, Daigo only replied "HAHAHAHA... I'm still mad at you."

"WHAT!?"

"Unless, you answer this question for me... Will you take care of Akira, and make her happy?? And if you make her mad, or lose her, will you let me hunt you down, and kick your ass?"

"Yeah!"

"HAHAHAHA... I'm very sure that if you two get hitched, you would make a fine brother in-law." Hearing this, Edge fainted. He shook him a couple of times, slapped him, and kicked him a bit, then gave up. "Um, is anyone there? There's no knob on this side, and there aren't any windows here. I wonder how much air is in here?..." And Edge fainted. When Daigo came back into the room, he saw Edge on the floor with his Milkfuls. He picked him up, walked all the way to Seijyun High, and went up to Akira, and dropped him on the floor saying, "Here's your dumb-ass boyfriend." And Daigo walked off into the distance, eating Edge's Milkfuls.

THE END