I like to wonder what would have happened if Kikyo had seen InuYasha as a human
How that conversation would have gone down and how she would have reacted compared to Kagome
Warning angst and fluff
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Darkpheonix666
InuYasha sat quietly leaning against the walls of the temple he was hiding inside. It was that time of the month again when his powers weakened and he was back to being weak. This was the face he had hidden from even his own brother as he knew he would only mock him for it and call him weak and a disgrace to their family.
Because of this, once again they had to postpone their journey to find the jewel shards. This only caused him to become even more annoyed than he already was about the situation. Knowing that Naraku was growing stronger and other demons may get their claws into the fragments of the jewel before him angered him. He would not let anyone get in the way of his desire to become stronger.
Though he had hated this part of himself a lot more in the past. He hated it less so than before, but that didn't mean he was completely happy with having to become like this. With having such a long life had come with carrying a lot of painful and tragic memories alongside it. Ones he had buried in his heart for a long time.
He had suffered greatly because of his Hanyou blood in the past. Though as he grew he became stronger and was able to fight off the demons that would attack him, once upon a time it was not the case. Back in his younger years where he had been fighting for his life harder than he ever had before.
Being attacked, chased, taunted and even having close encounters with death. Back during his years as a child, he had been weaker and dangers had been even more deadly to face. Just thinking about it made his stomach tie into knots and a sickening feeling rushing through him at the unpleasant memories.
Kagome, Shippo, Sango and Miroku were at a nearby makeshift campsite. Although they were used to seeing InuYasha like this, they kept their distance to respect his privacy. Even though they were his friends, InuYasha still wasn't overly comfortable with them seeing him like this. Sure, they knew they didn't care, but he still needed to hide.
They were in a place known for being the hideout of very powerful demons. In his current state, he could easily be killed due to being unable to protect himself. That and as of late Kagura and Kanna had been ordered to spy on them more often. The risk was too high and they couldn't afford for InuYasha to get caught by them in this state.
So, Kagome had created a barrier around the temple to keep him safe from harm. As a second form of protection Miroku had placed seals on nearby trees in case of demons. They had then left for the campsite to keep watch and discuss their next battle strategies. Promising to come and let him out in the morning when he was once again in his demon form.
And now here he sat in the quiet of the night within his temple prison. Waiting for his transformation to end and once again return to his demon form instead of his weak and defenseless human form. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't growing impatient and bothered by being stuck like this once again.
His friends were either asleep or on guard, taking turns of keeping watch while the others got some rest. Since becoming a group, on this night they had decided on a rota of who would keep watch. While he was grateful of their kindness it did not completely soothe all the troubles that lay in his heart.
InuYasha sat quietly in the darkness gripping Tetsuigha to his chest. His brown eyes filled with impatience, anger and confliction. He just wanted this night to end, but he knew he was stuck like this for a while. The waiting was the worst part in this situation. Waiting out the night until his demon blood once again flowed strongly within his veins and he was able to fight instead of cowering away.
He sighed heavily and leaned his head back to look up at the ceiling. So many thoughts and feelings swirling through his head and heart. That was the most awkward part about becoming a human, he was more honest about his feelings. Things he kept locked away within himself came to light and he hated it.
Suddenly he noticed an earie glow coming from the doorway. But there was nobody nearby him whatsoever. It certainly wasn't one of Kagome's odd contraptions that she carried around in her bag. On top of that if it was her she would have knocked or given warning. But instead it was dead quiet and he couldn't hear a sound. One of the worst parts of being human were his senses weakened.
He heard no footsteps outside the temple and he couldn't smell if it was a demon or not. But then again if it was they would never have been able to enter if it was. Kagome's spiritual power was not exactly something to scoff at. While he had his doubts upon them first meeting, he was now truly convinced she was Kikyo's reincarnation.
On top of that a certain monk had proven his rare usefulness. While Miroku was an infamous pervert and often a womanizing cheat. He had immense spiritual power and when put to good use he was indeed a formidable opponent to face in the heat of battle. However, his reputation often clouded out his more admirable traits.
He nestled further into the darkness and prepared to face whatever attacker had come to attempt on taking his life. Even if he was a human he would not go down so easily. While he lacked any of his demonic powers he was still capable of hand to hand combat. Plus, he could make a bolt for the campsite where his companions were and they could kill the demon.
Suddenly the doorway opened causing him to stiffen in response to the possible danger. To get inside they must truly be powerful and he wasn't able to fight them off. All he could do was hope for the best in this situation. Then the head of the demon entered the doorway causing him to relax.
A head of a soul collector entered the temple, which was slowly joined by more of them in a group. Only one person used soul collectors as a Shikigami. He knew that person would never harm him but was not exactly on the pure path that she had once been long ago.
Eventually a large glowing white orb appeared in the doorway of the temple. It grew smaller until it changed into the form of a human and Kikyo eventually appeared from within. As always she had an ethereal look about her only making her lack of human essence all the more obvious. Yet he was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
"Kikyo…" he said gently from his hiding place. While he was undoubtedly happy to see her, he didn't want to show himself to her. It was a natural response to how he had learned to protect himself in this state all these years. Remaining unseen, unheard and unfound by those who would wish to do him harm.
Kikyo stood in the doorway her brown eyes gleaming in the inky black darkness. She had heard InuYasha's voice but sensed no demonic aura whatsoever which she found rather odd. Yet she had sensed Kagome and the monk's strong spiritual aura nearby.
"InuYasha. Have you reverted from your demon self to that of your human?" she asked reluctantly. She was well aware that every so often his demon blood would ebb away causing him to become a weak human. She could no longer sense his demonic aura about himself. Indeed, before her was another human being like herself. However, he was unable to use any form of attack like this due to never having learned.
It was funny how this was not the first time she had encountered this. 50 years ago, when she was still a priestess and protecting the jewel, by chance she had encountered him in the woods. She had believed him to be after the jewel which indeed he had been. However, over time she had learned that beneath his tough exterior was a truly lonely and complicated person like herself.
She only regretted she had not been able to learn more about him before Naraku pitted them against one another. Knowing, that the man she had once been so close to had hidden this part of himself from her. It made her feel guilty for not being able to be a good enough person that he could allow himself to show his most weakened state to her.
InuYasha stiffened in the shadows and gripped his hands into balls tightly. Usually he would have felt his claws digging in but as a human he was no longer bothered by such a thing. He recalled long ago when he and Kikyo first met, during their developing relationship in the past. She had come across him in the woods while fighting demons until she was close to death.
She had confronted him in the tree and asked if he was after the sacred jewel of the four souls. At the time, he had honestly stated how he didn't know what such a thing was. Later desiring to take it for himself to become a full demon. Later she would learn about his human blood and later came to learn about it a little. But unlike her reincarnation Kagome, she had never truly seen it for herself in person.
It's not like he had been hiding it from her. In truth since she her soul had been dragged from the dead into her current counterfeit body they had spent so much time apart. The chance to ever show it to her or reveal this side of himself was always missed. Instead, he simply dealt with it alone while his companions kept watch over him in his weakened state.
InuYasha hesitated for a while then nodded quietly. Usually he would hide himself away or attempt escape, but he knew deep down in his heart Kikyo would not harm him. If she had truly come here to kill him she would have done so already and not wasted any time in taking his life while he was lacking in his demonic power.
Kikyo's expression softened and her brown eyes filled with a gentle affection. She placed down her bow and arrow inside the room and closed the door behind her. Her soul collectors keeping watch over the temple and her arrows laying on the ground. She was not here to fight nor did she have any intention of hurting him whatsoever.
Kikyo then approached the outlined shadow of her lover. However, she made sure to keep her distance as to show respect to his privacy and personal space. Though she knew it selfish, she wanted to see him in his human form. She wanted to see the other face of the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.
The face that had his mother's blood flowing within him. The one that her reincarnation had most likely seen multiple times and still protected without hesitation. She wanted to see for herself the hidden part of her lover that she had always imagined inside her head and longed to look upon.
"Please InuYasha. May I see your face?" she asked hopefully though hesitance was still lingering in her tone. She wanted to look upon his human form and see what her lover looked like without his demon blood. What changes took place when he lost the strength bestowed upon him because of the human blood that flowed through him.
Unlike Kagome who had first seen and protected InuYasha as a human by chance because of bad decisions. Kikyo had come here of her own free will to see him, but wanted permission to look upon him like this. She would gladly respect his decision if he didn't want her to look upon him like this, though it would hurt her deeply.
Kikyo knew this side of InuYasha was his weakest form. Not only in terms of losing his powers but emotions as well. The side that he kept hidden from those around him, his emotions closed away in his heart; they were all worn on his sleeve openly. The shield he usually kept up began to crack and allow some feelings to seep through.
This was the blood of his human parent, the mother she had once been told of. The same one whose rouge she had been given as a gift so long ago and been destroyed by Naraku. The same parent who had loved and cared for InuYasha before she or Kagome existed.
InuYasha gripped his fists tightly. He took a deep breath and then nodded quietly in approval. Nerves, fear and self-consciousness overflowing through him. He then got to his feet quietly and stood up straight still gripping Tetsuigha in his hand. Though was unable to wield it in his human form, it was still a precious heirloom from his father.
Eventually he turned to face Kikyo his brown eyes gleaming in the moonlight. He then slowly walked forward into the light illuminating his form for her eyes to see clearly. Every outline, every curve, every detail, every edge and every inch being shown to her eyes after removing his shadowed cloak.
Kikyo's eyes widened in awe and she stared at the Hanyo quietly. Her heart leapt into her throat and she felt shock and a light fluttering grow within her chest. Compared to his demon form, InuYasha's human appearance was so strikingly different. If she was alive her heart would undoubtedly be beating fast and loud to hear.
His skin was darker than his usual pale complexion as a demon. In was more tanned and darker in tone. His eyes were less sharp and obviously, his demon traits were completely gone. But he had such beautiful brown eyes. A similar colour to her own dark brown orbs. He had a strong well-built form with noticeable muscle build. But his hair, that was her favourite part.
He had such beautiful black silky hair. Pouring down his back reaching the same length as it would as a demon. It was the colour of ink and reminded her of the night sky. He was indeed a very handsome individual as a human. Without a doubt in her mind if she had seen this side of him when she first met, she would have fallen in love all over again.
She felt her pale cheeks heat with a colourful blush. She was at a loss for words and couldn't avert her gaze from his being. She couldn't look away, she didn't want to look away either. She was completely enamored with the man that stood in front of her. Like she was staring at an angel who had fallen from heaven.
InuYasha huffed and looked away awkwardly. He felt so naked, so weak; like she was peering into his soul and it scared him. He wasn't able to hide anything from her. He didn't hate her reaction, no in fact he was rather happy that she had responded so positively. What hurt was the timing of showing her his human form.
He wanted it to be different, to be more personal. He wished he could have shown her when they first met before Naraku tore them apart. If he had truly mated with her and become her husband. Showing his human blood to her without care or shame and lived his life happily by her side.
But now she was cold, dead and from another plane. A painful reminder of his past and something he could no longer have; no matter how much he desired it. His heart aching with loneliness and sadness. Kikyo was truly a forbidden fruit that he could only gaze upon and never claim for himself.
Kikyo's gaze then became more intense and stern. She then approached InuYasha bravely without hesitation wanting to be closer to her beloved. She would not allow him to hate himself for what he was. Hadn't she told him so long ago that they were so very alike, unable to ever truly be themselves?
She then reached out a hand and caressed his cheek affectionately. Turning his gaze to look at her, their eyes now locked on each other's. "Don't hide from me InuYasha. I want to see all of you" she said tenderly. Even if his appearance had changed and he was no longer a demon. He was still the same man she had fallen in love with. This was still InuYasha, just wearing a different face.
InuYasha's expression softened and he turned to look at Kikyo. Those words meant more to him than she would ever understand. Giving him the courage that she wouldn't judge him. His eyes still filled with the same hesitance and fear as before, yet an aura of trust had now appeared in his eyes. Showing her he was willing to show this part of himself to her.
Kikyo moved closer and moved the hand that was on his cheek to caress some strands of his hair. Feeling the black locks between her fingers and twirling them in her fingers a little. His hair was softer than it was as a demon. It was coarser in texture and thicker even. He certainly took care of it and she wanted nothing more than to wind her hands in it and never let go.
"It's so pretty and soft. Like a puppy" she teased affectionately. She felt like a small child finding a present that had been hidden from her and she was only just finding out. She never wanted to let him go, to simply spoil herself by indulging in her desires to understand everything that made him human.
InuYasha blushed profusely but he was happy to hear such words from her. Because he knew she really meant what she said. She wasn't lying to him. He bowed his head shyly hiding his eyes under his bangs "Y…Yours is prettier" he said shyly. He had always loved her hair. The way it smelled, how silky it was and how it flowed in the wind.
Kikyo was rather taken aback by his comment. A small smile formed on her face and eventually she erupted into a fond laugher in his arms. She then gazed back up at him lovingly. She gazed into his eyes and could see that he truly meant what he said. He was still the same person as he always was, but as a human he was more honest about his feelings for her.
There were so many things she wanted to say to him, to ask him. But she didn't have enough time to say all that was on her mind. If only she could freeze time in this exact moment so she could voice everything that lingered in her heart. But she could still enjoy this given time with him while she was still able to.
She then reached up with the hand that was not caressing his face. She then placed it above his heart "Don't be ashamed InuYasha. This is part of you. This is the blood of your mother. Embrace it" she said kindly. His mother had loved him and given birth to him. She had obviously taken good care of him and been sure to teach him all she could before she had died tragically.
His human blood was as much a part of him as his demon blood was. It was what made him whole. He shouldn't be ashamed of it, nor should he have ever felt like he needed to get rid of that part of himself. She could only think of what life must have like for him growing up. How many people had judged, hated or feared him. How isolated he must have felt and alone he must have been.
How long had he hidden this side of himself until his demon blood returned? How long had he been forced to carry this secret on his shoulder with nobody to rely on but himself? How many times had he come close to facing death and felt the surge of relief and broken down crying when he made it another night without being harmed or killed.
InuYasha felt relief wash over him and his nerves calmed until they lingered at the back of his mind. He knew she meant these words and was not lying to him. He knew that Kikyo was accepting all of him. He didn't have to hide this part of himself from her. Knowing this made him feel so happy inside and glad to have fallen in love with her.
However, he had to admit her reaction was certainly different that Kagome's had been. She had certainly been calmer and less impatient, less anger and annoyance in her tone. There had been less accusations and less arguing, she certainly hadn't called him a bonehead like Kagome had that was for sure.
Kikyo smiled shyly and her blush increased. She felt like a young village maiden instead of a priestess at this given time. How she had longed to act this way back when she had first met him. Now she could happily convey just how much he effected her, instead of having to keep her personal feelings locked away like she used to.
A shyness came about her aura and she bowed her head a little "Your human side is rather enticing. I do feel as though I could tell you anything" she said with slight amusement in her tone. He was just so handsome and she felt so relaxed inside. She felt as though she could happily speak her mind without care or consequence to the world around her.
InuYasha blushed all over again not knowing quite what to say to her. Kikyo truly had a strong effect on his heart and whenever he was with her all he could see was her. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Kikyo was stating that she was swooning over him. That her heart was so deeply affected by her emotions and feelings for him that she didn't care about what came out of her mouth.
He had to say he found it rather amusing to see Kikyo's usual serious manner replaced with this more feminine side of her. It was actually rather cute and he wished he could see more of it. He laughed slightly and placed his hands on her hips affectionately "Your only human after all" he teased. Yes, he was aware of how ironic the statement he just made was.
Kikyo blinked and then yet again started laughing realizing the irony of what he just said. She couldn't remember the last time she had laughed like this from true happiness. However, she eventually settled and concern began to well inside of her again. "How long do you remain in this form?" she asked cautiously. She knew how he was more susceptible to danger like this.
He was easy to come under attack and fall prey to other demons. While Kagome and Miroku's barriers and wards had been strong, they would not ward off all demons. If a stronger demon was to attack he would be unable to fight properly. Sunrise was not for some time and the idea of InuYasha being harmed brought her great displeasure.
InuYasha saw her concern and his expression became semi-serious "Until sunrise. But I've got quite a while before that happens" he explained. Like he said before, the waiting was the worst part. Because of that he had to remain in this shrine until the sun rose again. Then he would have his powers back and could return to kicking demon ass and searching for jewel shards.
Kikyo relaxed and then moved closer to InuYasha and rested her head on his chest affectionately. She could feel his heartbeat, so soft and fluttering like a bird. "Please may I stay with you. I cannot leave you knowing you will be in danger like this. I don't want to part from you just yet" she pleaded anxiously.
Upon seeing him change back she would feel at peace. Knowing she could watch over him herself and make sure no harm came to him whatsoever. InuYasha blinked and then agreed. He then led her to the wall and sat down against it quietly. At least he would now have some company while he waited out the night.
Kikyo then sat down beside him quietly and leaned against his shoulder. She nuzzled into him gently and a small smile remained on her shoulder as she sat with him in the dark. She felt so much closer to InuYasha than she ever had before. She was seeing another side of him. The face that his mother had given him, and she could not express her joy enough.
Morning
Kikyo straightened up and gazed at the doorway quietly. The sky was getting lighter and sunrise would be taking place soon. She knew Kagome and the others would soon arrive to check on him. His human form would vanish like the dark moon and he would become a demon again. He would once more be able to protect himself and she could leave peacefully.
Any worries or doubts in her heart would be cleared knowing he was safe. He would be once again back to being his stronger self and able to protect himself from danger. But during this time she had also been able to grow closer to him more personally than she had before.
InuYasha gazed up at her quietly a slight sadness in his eyes. He knew she had to go, though he was sad he knew she had duties to perform. She had her own quest to fulfil and he couldn't change her mind. But they would always be connected in their hearts no matter how far apart they were from each other during that time.
Kikyo then gazed down at him her brown eyes filled with love. She then knelt down and kissed him tenderly on the lips, to which he responded lovingly. Kikyo then parted her lips from his and straightened up once more. She then went to gather her bow and arrows by the doorway but turned to face him once more.
"Thank you InuYasha. For trusting me" she said gratefully. It had meant as much to her as it had him to see him like that. To know he still loved her enough to show that side of himself to her. She then opened the shrine door and returned to her Shikigami. Ready to leave on her journey, her heart lighter than it had been when she first arrived.
InuYasha watched her leave quietly and smiled to himself. A genuine smile on his face as he watched Kikyo leave into the early dawn. His heart feeling lighter and his doubts all but gone.