Author's Note: Takes place during season 2, while Goku is in the ship on the way to Namek. He has a bit of teh dumb, but I find that entirely in character!
Warning: Hint o' yaoi
Gotta Try Harder!
I've gotta try harder, thought Goku through clenched teeth. I can't get to Namek any faster, but I gotta be ready when I get there. I need those dragon balls and I gotta be ready for anything! I've eaten everything in the fridge, and I've reached 50 times Earth gravity. But I gotta be stronger! Stronger! Stronger!
Cranking up the knob to 60, he threw himself to the floor and began another grueling series of push-ups. His biceps were iron already, but even iron might not stop that Vegeta, when they met again. He grimaced and growled at the thought. Vegeta, that creep! He knew he was right to have Kuririn release him so they could fight another day. To make Earth safe meant he would have to really win, all on his own. He didn't know exactly why, but he knew it down deep. It was his destiny. The thought was rousing, more than rousing!
He sped up his push-ups, then flipped over for some sit-ups. He loved the way it burned and drove him on. Each new level made him sweat and cringe, wince and throb. It was good, so good, and the image of Vegeta that rose before him was good, too. That squat little monster, the smirk on his face. How he'd wipe off that smirk, how he'd…
He looked down between his legs as he came to a sitting position, patted himself as he had patted groins as a child, trying to understand the difference between men and women. He'd never quite come to understand women, even when Chi-Chi spied his hardness and leapt onto his lap and rode him. He would just sit, watching, baffled, until suddenly he came, hard, and blacked out. Sex, that's what it was, and what a mystery it remained. He never got hard thinking about Chi-Chi, he'd just sometimes wake up with hardness and she'd jump on it. It was kinda fun, like a carnival ride, kinda. But not satisfying, not like a good fight.
But he was hard now. Suddenly. He patted himself a little more, proud that his thingy could stand up in 60 times Earth gravity. "Good job!" he told it. "We're really strong!" But then it started going down. He thought about Chi-Chi and her bouncing activities. Down more. He frowned at it. "Don't go away," he told it. And then he thought about Vegeta, and SPROING! Up it went again. He chuckled. "Ah, I see, you wanna fight Vegeta, too, eh? Well, how about a little wrestling match?" He reached into his sweaty pants and began to stroke. It wasn't easy in such high gravity, but it was a workout. And more fun than push-ups or sit-ups. He pumped and stroked contentedly, a determined grin on his face.
Meanwhile, from his own little planet, Kiao-sama shook his head. "Come, come now," he scolded, then burst out in laughter. "Ah, what a pun!" He slapped his monkey. "That was a good one, eh Bubbles-kun?"