This is a bit of an experiment. A dystopian, possibly fantasy elements including, AU.

I know, I know. WHY?!

I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. I'm strangely excited about it.

A few warnings apply:

- I don't know whether I'll be able to give this a decent ending (well, I didn't know that about any of my other stories, either...). It seems like a bit of a daunting undertaking right now, just because it's so different. - UPDATE: happy to announce that it will have an ending, whether it's decent... I'll leave you to judge. Story will be completed on 10/31/2017.

- It IS way different than what I usually write. It's AU. You could argue I basically just used Kat Graham's and Michael Malarkey's awesome onscreen chemistry and put them into an entirely different context.

- The story needs more "worldbuilding" than usual, since the universe is different than the usual Mystic Falls setting we already know from the show. And, frankly, I might suck at that a lot... But. As the story unfolds, it comes more into its own.

- This, then, is a Benzo story. And I mean that. They'll be the main focus. I'll leave out a lot of stuff I'd normally put in to focus more on them. Less side characters, less explanations in the background.

- Damon is in this, too. There's a strong Bamon friendship here. I didn't put him in the "character list," however so this time no one feels "cheated" again, or that I'm roping them into something this is not.

- Again: it's Benzo, Bonenzo: Bonnie and Enzo. My (our...) favorite OTP. It'll be a slow burn... Without giving too many spoilers: there'll be some "higher-than-T" stuff in here.

And Delena will probably take a dark turn...

If even just one person besides myself gets any enjoyment out of this, it'll be worth posting this weird thing here. So... I'll be testing the waters with this first chapter.

If you do give this a chance, I'd be so happy to hear from you. Whether it's good or bad, whether I lost you or roped you in. Or even just one right at the end there, telling me you were here. :)

But now, enough empty words. On with the story...

...

Pond of no Return

The Story of Silver and Gold

...

"But of bliss and glad life there is little to be said, before it ends; as works fair and wonderful, while they still endure for eyes to see, are ever their own record, and only when they are in peril or broken for ever do they pass into song."

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarilion

"Everything falls apart, but not ever part of every thing, at least not at the same time."

Paul Auster, In the Country of Last Things

...

...

The little pond outside was in turmoil under the downpour, hard drops piercing its usually calm surface with such force that Bonnie could see the water splashing up.

The world outside was drowning, and she felt like she had to hold her breath. Yet she still wished to be out there rather than in the dry warmth of the small cabin she was sitting in. She wished she could feel the rain on her skin, in her hair. She just wanted to be anywhere but here.

With a sigh, she turned her attention back toward what was happening - or what was supposed to be happening - inside the cabin, while the oblivious rain continued pattering down on the roof above her. She tried hard to concentrate on the sound, to clear her mind, to focus. But it was so difficult.

This all felt too ridiculous. She was sure she wasn't meant for this. For any of it. She was not one of the special ones. The chosen ones.

She was simply Bonnie Bennett, a young Golden woman. 25 years old, orphan, single, and anything but special.

…

But society didn't care whether you thought you were not elligible. They didn't care whether you wanted to try out or not. You had to.

During the obligatory Preparation classes - that she had attended just like all other Golden citizens between the ages of 20 and 25 - she had been told about the chances of being one of the "lucky ones" that would go on to become part of a powerful mind-bond, and thus play an important role in the war between their people, the Golden, and their enemy, the Silveren.

Bonnie really didn't think of it as "lucky" at all, but of course she couldn't say that out loud. In times of war, patriotism meant everything. And calling the mind-bond business anything other than a fortunate advantage and great chance to help the cause, was considered treasonous.

...

So here she was, at the Pond of No Return, finally actively trying her luck at establishing such a link.

She was getting more and more frustrated, however, because nothing had really prepared her at all for this. What was she even supposed to be doing? She groaned to herself, squeezing her eyes shut, begging the world to just let it be over already. Let her be done and free of this crap.

Why had it even been called Preparation, when nothing she'd learned there had prevented her from being ridiculously, glaringly unprepared in the face of her tryout? She had absolutely no idea how to even try to get her mind to latch onto someone else's.

She harrumphed loudly and opened her eyes. "I can't feel anything," she announced and her best friend Damon shook his head, eyebrows raised high.

"You gotta concentrate, Bon," he advised her, rather unhelpful, she found.

"I'm trying, Damon," she grumbled, annoyed, but he wasn't having any of it. She felt his light touch on her shoulder, felt his breath against her cheek as he got really close to her, and she shivered involuntarily. If only he knew that he was making it even harder for her that way. But of course she couldn't tell him. She chewed on her lip, forcing herself to wipe the unbidden thoughts and feelings away that had started washing over her as soon as she'd felt his touch.

Why couldn't she just get over him already? He'd never - not in a million years - reciprocate her love.

"Try harder," he was breathing into her ear, the air tickling her, and she tilted her head a little to evade him. "It can take a while."

Slowly but surely, frustration made room for anger. It was not working. She felt absolutely nothing! She didn't know what she was doing, or what she was even supposed to be doing! Would she just have to sit here forever? Trying and trying until something happened?

"What the hell am I supposed to concentrate on?!" She threw the words at Damon, because she had to get them out. "There's nothing there! I told you!" she yelled, staring at her best friend, but he surprised her with a genuine smile.

"I've been there, Bon Bon," he said, kneeling in front of her, looking up, a hand on her knee, "Believe me, I get it. We all know that I'm not exactly known for my great self control and, uh, patience…" He wagged his eyebrows, then suddenly turned serious again. He took her hands in his, another very un-Damon thing to do, and she gave him a quizzical look.

"I know this sucks. If I could give you any pointers, I would, but it's just not how this works. Otherwise they'd have told us all that in Preparation."

"I know," she muttered, but her frustration was still clouding everything else. She wanted this to be over. "I just don't think I'm meant for this. Maybe I simply don't have it in me…" she trailed off. Maybe this wasn't working because, deep down, she didn't want it to. Maybe the problem wasn't that she wasn't link-material, maybe the problem was that she didn't want to be… What if anybody found out?

"Give it another try. Another chance. You'll see. I found my link with Elena pretty much out of nowhere. Suddenly we both just… felt it."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. Sometimes Damon and Elena were just a little too saccharine sweet and perfect. They were like soulmates. And the link, that had just been the cherry on top.

She stopped herself right there. Thinking about the two of them together was just not healthy. Given that Elena was also her best friend, she really felt awkward about being so… unhappy about their love, and jealous of their relationship. What kind of friend she was…

"You got this, Bon. I just know you're meant for a link, too."

"Thanks," she gritted out, glaring at Damon at hearing his enthusiasm for something she couldn't feel herself. "That helps me so incredibly much." But she did close her eyes again and wiggled down in her chair to get a little more comfortable. "Alright," she announced, "one last try…"

…

...

It was so cold his body had started shaking heavily to keep itself warm, to no avail. It was freezing, he was freezing, and it took everything for him to stay on his horse as it was trying desperately to get him out of there.

His brain felt fuzzy, his thoughts sluggish, but deep down, he comprehended how dire his situation was, how hopeless. They'd soon catch him. And despite his one advantage, in his current state he'd hardly be able to put up much of a fight.

He hung on to the horse with one arm, the other one slack and too heavy just hanging down.

No. He was no threat to anyone.

He had one chance. He needed to evade them somehow, or hide.

With a deep inhalation, he forced his heels into the horses flanks, making the poor animal accelerate its gallop one last time.

Only one chance…

They would never let someone like him live. Never.

...

…

The bonds were a strange business. Bonnie was highly aware of that. At least Preparation had managed to convey that much. (Which was still pathetically little.)

Nobody knew how and when the first bonds had even been established. It was still a somewhat recent development, a leap, a genetic mutation evading any grasp of research, a rare trait that needed some coaxing to even surface. At some point the bonds had simply been there...

And it was their one advantage over the Silveren armies with their horrible Eternal Weapons.

When you bonded your mind with someone else's, you were bonded to them forever. You shared your thoughts and feelings, you were always in each other's heads, you were never alone, you became one. Mindmates. Soulmates.

Many Golden glorified it, romanticized it. It was something they all talked about. It was a big deal among the young, the high schoolers. The ones old enough to be in a relationship or dream of one.

When Bonnie and her girlfriends had talked about boys, and girls, and dating, and future husbands and wives, most of them had hoped to be part of such a bond. They had wished for it, daydreamed about it. Then, when Elena had actually gotten what they had all begged for, Bonnie had, for the first time, started to question their dreams.

It had all gone downhill from there. Gone were the romantic notions of never having to be alone again and always having somebody who truly understood you, shared even your weirdest thoughts. They had been replaced by something way darker.

What if she could never hide any of her thoughts again? What if she'd get a link-partner and they'd inform the world about her forbidden feelings for one Damon Salvatore? What would they think if they saw the life versions she'd come up with in her head, where Elena died a terrible death, got cursed to sleep an eternal sleep, leaving poor Damon all alone, with only Bonnie there to pick up the pieces and slowly put him back together?

It sounded terrifying to her! Like she'd never have any privacy again. She could be judged for merely thinking stupid things, without even having any intention of doing anything wrong.

But she'd always known this day would come. Once you turned 25, you had to try out for your very own connection. It was something they taught you from the moment you were born.

Because the links were their best weapon in the long and gruesome war they'd been fighting against their enemies, the Silveren armies, for well on an eternity now. They were their best way to communicate over long distances, to infiltrate the enemy forces, to spy on them, to always be one step ahead.

It was a blessing and an honor to be part of something so profound. Yet for Bonnie it felt more and more like she was dooming herself.

Still… Not everyone was link-material, few people actually were. Maybe Bonnie was not one of them.

Or maybe she was just a passive partner, like Elena. Damon had been the one actively establishing their connection, and she had somehow just known how to accept it. And live with it.

If Bonnie was completely honest, she'd never paid enough attention at Preparation. It had seemed too ridiculous, too improbable to her that she would ever end up in a link-relationship anyways. So why care?

But now she was of the right age, the age where your mind "opened itself up" the widest. Uh huh… Right. Even now it still sounded like a fairy tale to her, like something some crazy lunatics had come up with to indoctrinate the masses with a sense of false hope.

Because that's what it was, wasn't it? False hope. From the news she knew that they weren't doing too well in that stupid war. California, Nevada, New Mexico, Mexico, and Arizona had all long fallen to the enemy. Even Washington, Oregon and British Columbia were almost lost. The west was in enemy hands, and no link or bond or whatever you wanted to call it had prevented that from happening.

If it weren't for Damon and Elena, her closest friends, she'd have continued doubting that those links even really existed.

They were very rare, after all, and very highly regarded. But also a little mythical.

Yet here she was, actually trying to open her own mind wide and let someone in - or find someone to establish a bond with.

If it worked, she'd never be completely alone in her head again. The thought was mind-boggling. Part of her wanted to run from it, far away. But that was not a choice. They'd find her, and they didn't take kindly to people that were unwilling to try out and thus help the Golden empire.

They…

Politicians. The military. Dark circles of influential women and men.

Bonnie was no soldier like Damon. She didn't know half of it, and she'd prefer to stay on the sidelines, as far away from the war as possible. If she ended up finding a link-partner, however, that passiveness would all be in the past. She shivered at the thought.

She didn't want to infiltrate the enemy with her potential partner and find out everything about their tactics, or whatever else they'd ask of her, make her do...

She didn't even understand why they were fighting anymore! The war was so old, the soldiers so worn out. Did anybody really still know what had started it? And why they couldn't just sit down and end it already?

She huffed, jolting herself back to the present. The rain had not let up.

"Alright," she sighed. "It's not working." She looked over to Damon and started to hoist herself up and off the chair.

"Come on, Bon. You didn't even give it a chance."

"I did! Besides, I don't even know whether I want this at all! Wh… what if the person I'd link up with was a total douche and we wouldn't get along at all, or-"

"Bonnie Bennett. Shh," Damon started, looking alarmed at her outburst. If anybody else had heard her she could have gotten in trouble…

But she never heard the rest of his words because right then, she felt the most peculiar sensation. A reaching out, a searching, like her mind had grown tendrils of thoughts and emotions, floating out of her, and up. Or down. She couldn't tell, it was so… weird. She made a small gasping noise, clutching the armrest of the chair, slowly letting herself fall back into it. Everything seemed to happen of its own accord. Was this it? Was this what they all had been talking about?

Or was she just going crazy, losing her connection to sanity? She had gotten way too little sleep lately, so that was probably it. This all did rather feel like the spiraling down she sometimes experienced when her mind was falling asleep, but slower than the rest of her body. Surely, she'd be jolted back out of it any second now that she had noticed it.

But that moment never came.

Bonnie's eyes were pointed upward toward the roof, but her stare was blank, seeing nothing. Until...

… she suddenly "touched" something else, felt her mind connect, a searing, sucking sensation that she wanted to stop.

Her mind was struggling hard. It fought to make a connection to whatever it had encountered. Bonnie felt like a mere witness, unable to control any of it, she was just somehow there.

She was met with a rather startling and powerful resistance.

"Is this normal?" she asked, panting. She was getting slightly panicky. Small beads of sweat appeared on her forehead, as she felt an uncomfortable heat creep into her body. "This is too difficult. I don't think I can do this. They're… they're fighting so hard!"

"Keep going," she heard Damon's reassuring voice. Sonorous, calm. He'd always had the power to soothe her, but for some reason it wasn't working so well right now. She was terrified. This did not seem right at all. "You're almost there," Damon was saying, and she tried hard to concentrate on his words. "Elena wasn't too pleased at first, either. It can be quite disturbing for the passive partner to have somebody enter their mind," Damon explained, but it didn't calm Bonnie one bit. Instead, she was starting to get positively scared.

Suddenly, there was a new feeling, an immense pain, washing over her. But strangely, she knew that it wasn't hers.

It wasn't hers…

She was hurting the other person. "Oh no…" she made, and she tried to sever her mind from whatever - whoever - it had connected with, though she quickly realized that she couldn't.

She had no chance but to fight on until the link was properly established, ignoring the other's fight and revulsion.

"Can't I stop this somehow, Damon?" she pleaded, looking at him, but barely seeing, "I don't think this is the right person. Something's wrong. They're really really fighting me…"

She felt his hand on her leg again. She grabbed it, hard, he didn't seem to mind.

"Once your mind has started the process, it can't be reversed. You gotta do everything in your power to work on that connection now, Bon. If you don't succeed…" Damon trailed off. But he didn't need to say more. She perfectly remembered that lecture during Preparation. There was no going back. If something went wrong and the link didn't get completed, both partners would die.

"I can't do this much longer, Damon. How long is this supposed to take?" It was bewildering how taxing this all was. She was physically exhausted, as if she was running the last few miles of a marathon.

"It should be done soon." He still sounded soothing, but she was too distracted to feel it.

"You said Elena didn't like it at first either, but… was she actively struggling?"

"Uh…"

Great, Damon's non-reply was answer enough. "Oh gosh, this is so wrong," she said, her eyes wide and white. She felt her body start to shake, and she squeezed her eyes shut to focus on her strange task.

"Please, Damon, make it stop!" She suddenly yelled as the pain grew and grew, overwhelming her. She clutched his hand so hard her knuckles turned white and he flinched in pain.

"Bonnie! Bon!"

In that moment, the sensation rolled over her like a wave, roaring in her ears louder than thunder, louder than the rain outside, and she slumped over in her chair, losing consciousness as she did.

…

...

He was just about to give in to the pull of gravity, letting his body roll off the horse's back and into the harsh snow underneath, not caring anymore whether they were still on his tracks or not, when a searing pain shot through his temples and deep into his head and he let go of the horse to clutch at it, falling off way harder than planned as he did.

Agony. Worse than the pain in his arm had ever been. This was… What was this?!

Was this death? Hypothermia?

He couldn't think clearly. There was a jumble of foreign feeling thoughts and emotions, too much. Too much for him to process.

It needed to stop.

Stop!

…

…

When Bonnie came to, the first thing she saw was Damon's worried face. "Hey, you all right?" He whispered, one hand on her arm. She closed her eyes, then opened them again.

Her blurry vision slowly improved and she noticed Elena sitting next to her partner - and boyfriend. Their worried expressions made her smile a small smile. These two had been there for her always. Through everything. It was good to have them with her now that whatever had happened had happened.

"Yeah," she replied, rubbing her hands over her face wearily, slowly pulling herself into a sitting position from the gurney someone had put her on. "I'm… okay, I guess. What happened?"

"You passed out."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious. I got that much."

It was Elena's turn to speak. "Damon told me about your struggle… your partner put up quite the fight, huh? I mean, I thought I had been resistant when he first 'attacked'", she air quoted, "my mind, but… this was something else." She paused, helping Bonnie to stand. Then she looked at her curiously and asked, "So, who is your partner?"

Bonnie was puzzled. She frowned at Elena, scoffing. "Am I supposed to know that?"

Elena stared at her, her own frown in place, and she gently touched Bonnie's forehead as if to see whether she had a fever. "Uh, yeah."

"Huh," Bonnie made, honestly confused, "I guess I didn't manage to do it after all then," she said, but Damon laughed at her like she was being dense.

"You'd be dead by now if you hadn't succeeded, Bon."

Elena made a face at him, then returned her attention to her best friend. A little softer, she told her, "You're probably just not used to the link yet."

But Bonnie wasn't so sure. To her it felt like something had gone wrong. This didn't feel like anything she'd been told in Preparation. There was no feeling of completeness.

And she had no idea who her partner was.

"This is all so wrong," she said, feeling a sob threaten to rise in her throat. She bit down hard to stifle it.

"Well," Damon sighed. "Maybe they are just unconscious, like you were. I'm sure it'll all be fine once they're up," he chirped, always one for taking things lightly. "So, welcome to the club! Let's get you set up. And tomorrow you'll start some basic training on how to use your bond, so you'll soon be able to help us win this war against the freaking Silvers."

Bonnie stared at him. She was starting to feel even more uncomfortable. Hugging herself for comfort, she dared to ask just one question.

"What do you think I… we will have to do?"

Damon patted her shoulder lightly, pulling her against his side, a too familiar gesture. Too comfortable. She wished she could just give in to that hug and never let go. She needed him right now, more than ever. Yet she couldn't have him. Not ever…

"One of you might have to infiltrate the Silveren Armies," Damon started explaining, unaware of her thoughts, and she shivered at the idea.

"What if my partner doesn't want to work with me, though?"

Elena and Damon both laughed. "That won't happen," Elena assured her, "They might be a bit confused and reluctant at first. But usually that goes away pretty quickly and you two will learn to enjoy being linked. It can be quite the comforting feeling to know that someone is always there for you, just a thought away." The two smiled at her, then at each other. Bonnie could see their love for each other so clearly that she felt a pang of jealousy.

Would she really have that? With someone that was still a total stranger to her?

She wanted that. She really did. But she doubted anyone could ever understand her crooked thoughts and feelings. And she simply didn't want to share everything.

"I hope you're right," she mumbled, then suddenly grabbed Elena's arm.

"Bonnie?"

Someone was stabbing her mind with a single thought.

Reverse this! Leave me alone!

It was so strong, she felt like she was going to topple over.

"Bonnie. Bon. Are you okay? Is it your link?" Elena looked at her, worry and excitement in her face.

But Bonnie couldn't say anything. She was too focused on the stranger in her mind.

Reverse what you have done! It boomed in her head.

But… I can't! She yelled, though it was only in her mind, and Damon and Elena stared at her, worriedly, while she was in another sphere.

That link, it didn't feel like it was fully formed at all. She could distinctly feel another one's presence, though it was merely touching hers at the edges. They didn't seem to be completely merged at all. This was not anything like what she'd been told it would be.

You have to. The voice in her head - it was a male voice - suddenly sounded so desperate, so weary that it pained her.

It's not possible, she whined, I'm so sorry, but… didn't you pay attention in Preparation at all? Once a link is formed, it can't be reversed. We live and we die together.

The fuck is preparation?

The response came as a shock. Bonnie gasped.

What? Are you… This was not happening. Alarmed, she looked to Damon, then Elena, who both gave her a puzzled stare, before she turned back to her link partner internally and quietly asked, Who are you?

You are a freaking Golden, aren't you? Then, as if to himself, she heard him say (or think?), Fucking atrocious luck.

Her throat constricted. A horrible feeling of doom washed over her that made her knees weak and wobbly. "Are you not a Golden?"

But her partner never got a chance to reply. Because right then Bonnie heard something - it was so close to her ear as if she had been right there - she heard someone yell, "Freeze, you bastard! - Lorenzo St. John, the Golden Army takes you prisoner. - Lieutenant, take his Eternal Weapon away from him!"

Then she felt a searing pain, all the way up to her elbow, and she passed out again.