Disclaimer: I'm only writing this once. I don't own KH. If I did…wow, would it be odd.
Chapter 1
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Dear Diary,
I'm on a train right now, headed to Hollow Bastion. It's so stupid. I feel like a walking roadside attraction. Everyone seems to be staring at me. It's like my past is written on my face and they're hoping their staring will make my pain go away. I don't know how Kiari talked me into this.
Trees fluttered in and out of his vision, giving a strobe-light effect to his compartment. The sun was just setting, sending pink, purple, and orange rays of light across his face. The continual hum of the train wheels against the tracks dimly registered in his ears along with the buzz of other passengers on their way to meet family, to further their business status, or just to enjoy life.
His pen hovered over his journal. He was the only one trying to escape; the only one trying to start over again; trying to be happy again. He was the only one learning to feel again.
Loud laughter made his gaze snap up to see a couple happily joking and laughing. They held hands and leaned into one another. He couldn't help but smile remorsefully. He couldn't have that again. It was just a passing dream.
He looked back down to his journal.
She told me it would be better if I went somewhere where he wasn't around all the time. The island was alive with him, or so she put it. Said I would be better where my therapist hadn't once been his. Where my house wasn't our house. She said I would be better if drinking out of a coffee cup didn't send me into screaming fit. She said Destiny Island held me in a perpetual Hell.
I find it ironic that a place teeming with opportunity and adventure, the place people dream of living, is the place that holds me back, keeps me in my misery. Imprisons me.
Destiny Island…Destiny…my personal jail cell.
"Excuse me, passengers." The intercom boomed with the director's voice. "We are five minutes from our destination, Hollow Bastion. The time is 8:31p.m. you may want to change your watches. The temperature is 38 degrees F. Thank you for riding with Kingdom Railway System. Please remain seated for the duration of this time. Thank you." He put up the speaker and disappeared behind the curtain.
I still miss him. He wrote slowly. I still wish he'd come home to me.
Sora.
He sighed and shook his head before reaching down to put his journal away in his bag.
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Sora groaned into his palms.
"What do you mean you lost my luggage?" He said, rubbing his temples with his fingertips. He couldn't believe this was happening. This was ridiculous.
"Sir, they checked! It's just not thare! She pressed, her accent exceedingly heavy. She looked at him expectantly awaiting his next move.
"How-How can it not be there? I fucking watched them load my suitcase onto the cargo compartment! It's a little blue suitcase it has my name on it and everything."
"Sir, please Ah don't know haw to help you. Aw can call you when we find it, but uther than that…U'm sawrry." She looked at a loss for words. She was a sweet girl; at least he hadn't gotten a pain to talk to. This girl looked as if she genuinely wanted to help you.
He knew it wasn't her fault. She didn't load the bags. It was just so frustrating. He looked at the ceiling. 'This would be so much easier if you were here.' His eyes squeezed shut and he counted to ten. Taking a deep breath, he smiled apologetically to the girl. "That would be great."
She nodded. "OH-kay!" She looked down at her computer and started to type. "Ah'll need you're name…phone number…and mailing address." She looked up at him. "D'you know the hotel yaw're staying at, hun?"
He jolted at her mention of address. "Actually, I'm, uh, I'm moving here. I'm renting this place…here." He handed her a piece of paper that he hand taken out of his back pocket. "I actually have no clue where that is. I've never been out of Destiny Island."
She chuckled as she typed the information she needed. "Must be kin'a scary."
"Little." He admitted.
They sat in silence as she typed away. And while she toiled away at her computer Sora took a look out the giant windows all around the building. It was dark out by now so he really couldn't see much, except what the streetlamps allowed him. What he saw rather took him by surprise.
He had expected the huge city to be overflowing with nightlife and thugs. Destiny Island had had a few dodgy places; he thought this would be hell. Outside, all he could see was the couples and dog walkers, little old ladies being helped across the street by young children. There was nothing dodgy about this place; hell, he'd bet ten munny Destiny Island was more violent than this place.
"All done!" She announced.
Sora looked back at her smiling green eyes. "Thanks." He managed to smile back at her, taking the papers out of her hand.
He was about to walk off when she grabbed his hand. He looked back at her quickly, wondering if he had done something wrong. But she just smiled encouragingly and said. "It'll get better. Don't give up."
He wanted to ask her what she was talking about, or how she new, more to the point. He wanted to know if he was wearing a sign on his back, or if his eyes really did carry his emotions. Sora wanted to know why he wasn't there. Why he couldn't just be happy, or couldn't get better. He wanted to know why god, or whoever was up there hated him. Why he took his life away. But he didn't ask. He just smiled and gave her hand a squeeze to let her know he had acknowledged her.
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Sora sat at his little booth in the diner.
He had stopped at a local restaurant before trying to tackle his futile mission on finding his new home. "Hewey, Dewey, and Louie's Diner: Open 24/7 with the best food in Kingdom Hearts!"
It was pretty good food. He wished he could eat it and enjoy it the way it should be, but he just wasn't feeling hungry and he didn't want to make himself sick. He looked out the window at the shop across the street, and nearly laughed at what it was. "Cid's gummi part and auto repair." He murmured aloud. What an odd color for an auto shop. It was pink and blue. He shook his head and reached into his bag.
Setting down his journal on the table and moving his plate away from him, he picked up his pen and opened to a fresh page.
Diary,
Hollow Bastion is a quaint little place. Not at all what I expected. The people are nice, the streets are clean and swarming with life, and the food's not half bad either. It's odd to say I feel safe in a big city instead of my small town home. And still my stay here has already been met with difficulties. The train station lost my luggage. The girl said they should find it within two weeks. It's so irritating; this was supposed to relax me it's just making me more stressed. And I have no idea where the place I'm staying at is. I'm feeling stretched and distorted. I feel like I have no control over what's going on with me. I've just moved to a city where I don't know any one, my luggage isn't in my possession, and I can't even find my own house. It's just so confusing.
Something fell out of his bag just then and Sora hovered his pen over the journal, trying to choose whether or not to just leave whatever on the floor. He just shook his head and signed his name it the journal. He, then, picked up the papers he had dropped on the floor and looked through them quietly.
They were the papers the lady at the station had given him. He hadn't looked through them at all but now he saw no reason not to. He flipped through the pages mildly recording warranties, guarantees, phone-numbers, and addresses. He was about ready to stuff it in his bag again when he read the last page. They were directions. They were directions to his apartment. He could've died of relief right there.
This girl was honestly a godsend.
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He had set off walking to his new apartment right after he found the map. He didn't want to get there at ungodly hours and have his new roommate mad at him. Though, it wasn't that far away from the little café he had been at, much to his delight.
The street he was on was quiet, though he could still hear laughing people not too far away. He could see city lights for miles and what he guesses was an amusement park. Streetlamps guided his way around and lit up the street signs. He was cautious not to roam away or turn when he saw something interesting because, god knew, he would get lost. He could smell different aromas in the air, a combination, he discovered, of oil, stone, and food. It was quite different from the sea air, and popcorn he always smelled in his hometown.
He looked down at the directions again to see where his next turn would be. The sidewalk had been empty when he had looked down, but as he looked up his face met up with a broad chest and a hot liquid.
"JESUS!" he heard someone yell as he fell to the ground. He looked up to the man, who now had coffee all down the front of his white shirt, with wide eyes.
"Dammit! I'm sorry." Sora started as he tried scrambling to his feet.
The man simply threw his now empty cup in a nearby trash bin and groaned when he looked at his ruined shirt.
"I'm sorry." Sora said again, now on his feet and feeling fully embarrassed.
He thought the man might lash out at him. He looked pissed and he kept shaking his head and mumbling.
But he just smirked and shrugged. "Don't." He said gruffly. His head came up from his shirt to look at Sora and Sora nearly stopped breathing from the sheer intensity of his eyes. They were the most stunning pair of cobalt eyes he had ever seen in his life. They held each other's gaze for moments on end, when he finally broke the spell, saying. "It's just not even worth worrying over."
Sora nodded dumbly as the man started to walk away.
He started to walk again following the instructions and trying to stop the rapid beat of his heart.
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The brunette turned into the office of the apartment complex. He needed to get his key and a general idea of where his room was.
When he opened to door a small 'ding' sounded and a man behind a desk hollered his welcome. Sora returned it immediately and headed towards him.
"I need my room key, Sora Tanaka." He said leaning over the desk.
The other nodded and looked at his files. He flipped and Sora turned his attention to the room. It was small and cramped he noticed, shelves were everywhere all filled with nick-knacks and boxes. There were three desks, though it looked as if only one was in use. It was common but comfortable and he only hoped the place he was staying at was this calming.
He looked at the threadbare carpet, then back at the man who had finally pulled out a file and plastic baggie shouting, "Aha." He smiled and pulled out a key. "Alrighty! Here's your key and your apartment number is 30b. When you exit the door just take a left you'll be right in front of your door." He looked at his file. "You're roomie is-"
"I know he told me over the phone." Sora said, suddenly just ready to get to the place and find something to fall on.
"Okay." He hesitated a moment, reading the name over again. "Well, you do know he's gay right?" The other man asked.
Sora stopped and tapped the counter. "No, actually I didn't." he murmured.
"Is that a problem?"
"No. It's fine. Thanks for the help." Sora finished the conversation quickly and exited before the other started on something else.
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Sora opened the door to his apartment. Stepping in he found a tidy little kitchen and a stairway. It smelled of cigarette smoke and fried chicken, but he didn't mind. Axel smoked, he was used to it. He walked in quietly looking around cautiously so as not to startle anyone who might be there. "Hello?" He called softly. He looked around, now in the living room. "Hello?" he called again, louder this time. No one responded. He looked around before giving up and sitting on the couch.
He spotted a phone and practically leaped for it. He hoped this guy had free long distance, because if not Sora was in the hole, Roxas didn't like to shut up. He dialed the number quickly pressing the phone up to his ear.
"Hello?" Came a deep male voice.
"Hi, Axel. How's it going?" Sora smiled softly.
"Sora, wow did they delay you somewhere it took forever!" Axel yelled into his ear.
He scoffed. "No, I had some troubles once I got in town."
"Oh, man I'm sorr-" He paused as a feminine voice entered in the background.
"Honey? Who's on the phone?"
Kairi.
He heard a loud gasp and "Give me the phone!"
There was a long silence in whence he guestimated the two were quarreling. Finally he heard, "Sora? Sora, is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me. I made here." He smiled again at her enthusiasm. Now he was wishing he was back in their living room, instead of this place. He didn't want to be in Hollow Bastion where nothing was familiar, he wanted to be home and wallow in the scent of his sheets, not these peoples. "Let me tell you…it's been a trip." He laughed hollowly. "The train station lost my bag."
She interrupted him, "Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. Do you need me to get you some clothes?"
He put his hand over his eyes. "No, Kairi, I've got munny. Don't even worry about it."
"Okay, they'll be there in two days."
Sora groaned.
"What else happened?" She asked.
He rubbed his face. "Well, I ate some food. And I ran into a guy and spilled his coffee all down his front."
"He didn't do anything did he?" She accused in an angry voice. Kairi was going to hitch a ride up to Hollow Bastion and kick someone's ass if people around here weren't careful.
He leaned forwards on the couch he had leaned back against. "No. No, he was really cool about it. Told me it was just a shirt." He smiled as he remembered the guy, the way his heart had fluttered. It had been some time since it had done that…maybe there was hope here after all.
Kairi sighed. "Good."
Sora nodded. "Yeah. Hey! Is Roxas still up?"
"Oh, after you told him he could stay up late your first night away…he's pinging off the wall." She said incitingly.
Sora laughed. "Sorry." He could just imagine the kid sitting on his bed watching TV. He was surprised he hadn't barreled into the room at the sound of the phone.
"Uh-huh. Hold on while I go get him."
He heard shuffling feet and a squeal of excitement. "HELLO!" Sora pulled the phone away from his ear automatically as his brother yelled his greetings.
"Hey, Roxas, how ya doin' bub?" He smiled automatically, awaiting the young boy to answer him.
"Oh, I'm okay I guess. Did you make it to where you were going?" He asked.
"Yeah, I did."
"Do you like it?"
Sora thought for a moment. "It's not bad. The people here are nice, foods good, nice home." He paused for a second, waiting for…the sigh. He laughed silently. "Though it's nothing compared to livin' with you."
Roxas laughed. "What about the person you're living with?"
"I haven't met him yet nosey. He's not here."
"Ah, shucks! I wanted to talk to him." The little boy whined.
"You just want to stay up later." He corrected. He laughed along with his brother. God, now he really wanted to be back there. He missed Roxas already.
"When can I come out there with you?" The eight year old asked suddenly serious.
Sora paused, thinking for moments on end of the right answer. "When I have a place to stuff you." He said lightly, then in a serious tone. "I'll get you out here as soon as I can."
"When will that be, Sora?" He whined. "I miss you already." He heard the boy say quietly.
"Oh I don't know. As soon as I get a job. My own place." He paused thinking of something else to say to lighten the mood. "Can't have you move in with a complete stranger. They might steel you and never give you back."
Roxas laughed.
"Go to bed, twerp. As I recall you still have school in the morning."
"Okay. If I have to." He complained.
Sora chuckled. "You do!"
"Alright. I love you, Sora."
Sora smiled sadly. This kid was seriously getting to him. "I love you too, Roxas."
They bid each other good night and Sora could hear his brother asking someone to read him a story like Sora would do. The kid could read better than any three people he knew, but he just had to be read to.
Kiari picked up the phone again. "Cute kid, huh?"
"Yeah, he's got his moments."
They shared a quiet laugh before the silence. He waited silently for her to say something, realizing even as he did so, she was doing the exact same thing. But thankfully she spoke first. "Are you gonna be okay?" She asked.
He looked down at his hand. "I'll be perfect once I get everything established." He whispered. Honestly he didn't know whether or not he was trying to convince himself or her, but apparently she wasn't taking bate.
"Sora Tanaka, don't you even lie to me. I want to know your honest opinion." She sounded so much like his mother when she did that.
He smirked, still looking at his hand. "I still miss him, Kairi. I try and push the thoughts away but they're always there, pushing free whenever the slightest hint of him comes up." He rubbed on the ring again. "I wish I still had the security he gave me, the strength that emanated from him, I wish I still had his arms around me!" He said in a low voice. "And I don't know if I'll ever be able to overcome those feelings, Destiny Island or no. He's just there and he's not going away."
The silence that followed was deafening. He waited for Kairi to say something again, fidgeting with his ring more than he had in the past week. He heard her delicate sigh.
"It'll get easier, Sora. You just gotta stop thinkin' of him and try to move on. It's what he would've wanted. He died and it was sad, but you're ruining your life dwelling on him." She paused and Sora was about to protest when she continued. "You said you stopped to have some food, did you actually eat anything?"
Silence.
"If you keep this up not only will you whither to nothingness, you will die. What d'you think will happen to Roxas if that happens? It sounds mean and I know you don't mean to do it, but stop thinking of yourself and the woes in your life and start looking out for the people around you, look on the bright side for once. At least you still have Roxas, right?"
"Yeah." Sora sighed.
"You go out into the world, Sora. You go out there and you live, dammit! I want you to be happy…I want you to be better." She paused again, giving Sora time to let everything she had said sink in. "I love you, Sora. Please get better."
Sora sighed. He didn't know whether to be mad at her or thankful because she had finally said what he had wanted to hear for the past six months. He was being completely negative about this, even he knew this, and he had his brother to think about.
"I will." He assured her.
"Good. Call us again as soon as you can. And tell us if you have any more problems. I'll fix it."
Sora nodded as if she could still see him. He fingered his ring and said, "Okay."
"Good. That package'll be there in two days. I'll take good care of Roxas. I love you. Bye."
She had hung up by the time Sora actually got around to replying to her last comment, in which time all he could do was stare at the little white band on his finger. "Bye." he finally replied into thin air.
He hung up the phone and went to his small bag. He dug out his journal and pen, and then he set back down on the couch and began to write:
Book,
Rivers of pain dried up my soul
In darkness there is no refuge
Kindred spirits burn like coal
Under the Earth in Hell
Relief and pain come all at once
Ironically consuming me
Karma takes its toll in months
Using me like trash
Running in the moonless night
I will return to you
Keep calling me to you arms, tight
Undo the mess I drew
He signed his name and titled the poem before snapping the book shut angrily and throwing it across the room. His eyes opened in terror though as it was caught effortlessly by a man, a tall man with cobalt eyes.
And a brown stain down his front.
"Gee, this is the beginnings of an interesting acquaintanceship, and I don't even know your name." He said, his face bland as he read the cover.
He handed it back to Sora, who took it automatically and held tightly to his side. "I'm sorry." Was all he could think to say? He couldn't register anything past the fact that…his heart was fluttering again. He was short of breath. This wasn't normal.
"Don't be. This place has been through so much I'm surprised it doesn't just fall down around us." He said glaring up at the ceiling. "I'm Leon." He announced, smirking again as he looked at Sora's dumbfounded expression.
He nodded, and shook himself mentally. Jesus, all he had to do was say his name! "I'm, uh, I'm Sora." He stuck out his hand, which was taken instantly by the other's.
"Great to meet you, Sora."
Sora grinned. "Same to you."
The tall man stared into his face for a moment before looking at his watch. "Come on. I'll show you to your room. You must be tired after all." He walked back towards the kitchen and the stairs, looking back briefly to make sure Sora followed.
Once they made it upstairs, Leon led him to the second door on the right. "There you go."
Sora opened the door and looked at the other man. "Thanks." He murmured and stepped into his room.
Leon said something in response and then closed the door. Leaving Sora alone in his new, clean, empty room. His new home.
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A/N: Wow! It has been a super long time since I posted anything, let alone made a KH fanfic. This is such a scarce pairing, but I think they're super cute…I'm weird. This is just the beginning. I'll try updating within two weeks. I'm hoping I'll stick to that…but my schedule is stupid, so…don't hate me if I'm not accurate.
Please review. It's been such a long time since I did anything I can't stand myself.