Blackhawk fan fiction

Una Noche

'I love you.'

Natasha whipped around to stare at Clint as he whispered the phrase. Had she heard him right?

'What?' she almost choked on the word, as she finished changing her clothes - something she did in front of Clint often.

He lifted his head slowly, staring into her grass green eyes with his deep blue ones. They were still and content, it seemed.

'I love you.'

He said the phrase slightly louder now, watching her reaction. She stared at him in shock, quickly grabbing her clothes of the floor and stuffing them into her locker. They had just finished training and as usual no one dared to stay with the two of them going all out on one another.

'Clint, you can't be serious.'

He flinched slightly at her harsh words, the hurt showing in his eyes. They had been in a relationship. Well, sort of. They hadn't called it one but they had slept together for almost three months now after what had happened in Budapest.

'Clint. You know as well as anybody that love is for children. We're not even in a relationship.'

She gave an exhasperated sigh. She liked Clint but who wouldn't? They couldn't be in a relationship though, even if she wanted to be in one. It would destroy their partnership and compromise them both.

Clint quickly pulled a new shirt on, before turning to look at her again anger in his eyes. He slammed the locker shut, causing Natasha to jump at the loud bang it made.

'Tasha, that's not even funny. We already are in a relationship, no matter how you may see it.'

'Clint …'

She turned to stare at him with dead emotionless eyes, trying to get her point across. She took a huge mouthfull of air in before continuing.

' … I don't love you and I never will.'

He just stood there, looking at her in disbelief. She thought she saw a flicker of pain but it was swiftly masked with what she called his work expression.

'Fine.'

His voice sounded dead and emotionless for the first time since she'd known him. He finished packing up before he turned and left, leaving her alone in the huge training room. As the door swung shut behind him, her legs gave way and she slid to the floor. Had he really just told her he loved her? Did she love him? No Natasha, you can't love him. Love is for children, it's for children. The more she repeated her mantra, the more she began to believe it. She finished packing up as she kept saying it over and over in her head.

As she left the training room, she realised it was already dark. They had been training for a while. The hallway seemed dark and empty. She had never felt so alone as now, in that moment. She had been alone all her life and it had never bothered her as much as now, so why was she feeling so lonely? She tried to shake it off, without much success.

She continued to her room, collapsing on her bed as soon as she reached it, falling asleep instantly.

*buzz* *buzz* *buzz*

What was it now? She leisurely opened her eyes, fuming at whoever was calling her now. She grabbed the phone, snapping into the receiver.

'What?'

'Woah! Sorry Natasha. What did I do?'

The familiar voice took a second to register in her brain, as her sleepiness started to vanish. It was Tony. Brilliant.

'What do you want Tony?'

Her tone of voice was no longer snappy but exhausted. She hated talking to Tony. He was an absolute prick, although he did have his moments.

'I want you to come over and try some cosplay outfits on for me.'

What was his problem? Seriously?! She pulled the phone away from her face, intending to hang up but Tony quickly backtracked.

'Don't hang up Natasha. It was a joke, a joke.'

'Get to the point Stark.'

'Pepper wants to know if you will come shopping with her today.'

Her mood immediately brightened up at the mention of her only girl friend.

'Sure. Be over in fifteen.'

She hastily jumped out of bed and changed, rushing out of the door and driving to Tony's house. She cast a quick glance at her watch before pressing the buzzer to Stark's house. It was already half past eleven. Where was Barton? He usually came to wake her up and have a morning training session before they went their separate ways for the afternoon. Maybe he had just slept in aswell this morning, tired from last nights long training session.

Pepper opened the door, beaming as she saw Natasha standing there.

'See you later Tony. Try not to break anything whilst I am gone. We don't want the fire service here again like last time.'

He grumbled from somewhere inside the house. Pepper closed the door quietly, turning back to look at Natasha.

'Last time?'

Pepper turned bright red.

'Oh, um … last time, he kind of bought me a present which he um … then decided needed to be more powerful. It ended up exploding and me returning to half a house.'

Natasha sensed she should not query further. Besides she knew Tony and based on Peppers reaction she knew pretty much exactly what he had bought. She decided to change the subject insteacd.

'Where do you want to go?'

Man, her feet hurt. They had been walking around all day. Pepper clearly loved shopping and it hadn't actually been that bad for Natasha either. They had finally sat down though at a small bistro, both exhausted. She sucked at her ice coffee, enjoying the cold taste.

'So … Natasha, what's going on with you and Clint?'

Pepper's question caught her by suprize, causing her to choke on her straw.

'What?'

'You and Clint? What's going on?'

'Nothing much. We just came back from a joint mission which went well. It was …'

Natasha tried to hide her embarrasesment at the question by babbling on about the last mission. It didn't work.

'That's not what I meant. Tony thinks there is something going on between you two and I for once agree. So, are you two dating?'

Pepper's eyes sparkled with interest.

'No. No. Why would we be? We are partners. Besides love is for children.'

Natasha instantly regretted her choice of words.

'I'm sorry Pepper. That wasn't what I wanted to say. I'm … just not cut out for love.'

'It's fine Natasha. Don't worry about it. But really, there is nothing at all going on?'

'Nothing.'

Pepper looked at her slightly puzzled and also slightly disapointed. She seemed happy to drop the topic though and instead quizzed Natasha over what she had bought. The conversation from earlier was quickly forgotten before the phone rang.

*ring* *ring* *ring* *ring* *ring*

'Hello'

Pepper was in deep conversation with someone, leaving Natasha alone. She started fiddeling with her now empty cup to keep herself occupied. She didn't notice Pepper hanging up the phone until she spoke.

'Natasha.'

She looked up at Pepper. Her voice sounded dazed like she hadn't really taken in what she had just heard and her eyes were stunned. Something was wrong. Pepper tried to speak again, opening her mouth a few times before words finally came out.

' … Clint's gone …'

Pepper's words hit her hard. She grabbed the table in support, feeling she may fall to the floor. The silence was defening.

'What do you mean he is gone?' Her voice came out as barely a whisper, breaking over the last word.

She and Pepper had rushed back to S.H.I.E.L.D as fast as they could. As they arrived, she saw agent Hill standing by the door crying. Fury looked as if he was tying to comfort her with his usual unfriendliness. She rushed towards Fury grabbing his arms, shaking him hard as she tried to hold back the tears.

'Where is Clint? What the hell happened?'

Hill cried harder at her words. Natasha knew Maria had a crush on Clint since a while ago. Almost everyone knew. He had gone out with her for one date to stop her pestering him but that had been all. He hadn't be interested to put it bluntly.

'I don't know. He left a resignation notice on my desk and left. He hasn't returned since. No one has any idea where he went or why.'

Fury's words dug into her fresh wound deeper. Clint was really gone. It took all her will power to not fall on the floor right there and curl up into a ball to stop herself falling apart. Pepper's hand came to rest on her shoulder reassuringly as she led Natasha to her room. As soon as they arrived she collapsed. Pepper tried to comfort her, but the tears didn't seem to stop. She had lost Clint. Destroyed the one good thing in her twisted life. She wished she could go back in time just to see him again for even a second … to spar with him … laugh with him … hell, even kiss him. Wait, what?

Pepper stayed with her all night trying to console her. The tears had stopped by dawn but that was more because her eyes had run out of water rather than she had cheered up. When she looked at them in the mirror they were red and puffy. Her cheeks were streaked with black from where her mascara had run.

She stayed like this for the next week, hundled up in her room doing nothing. Pepper came to check on her everyday and tried to get her to eat something to no avail. The more time passed, the more she missed him. Her wound only hurt more with each passing day and wouldn't heal. She no longer felt like training or fighting or doing anything.

Fury had come to check on her once. He tried to calm her with his usual unfriendliness but it hadn't worked. He had mentioned though that she was the only one who was still upset. Maria had gotten over it after the first day and was now back to work. Had Maria ever really loved Clint? If she had, she would have cried longer, not that Natasha really cared that much. So wait … did that mean she loved Clint? No, she couldn't possibly. Could she?

Her thoughts were interupted by a knock at the door. She was surprized to see it was Tony with a very disgruntled looking Pepper. For once he was not his usual obnoxious self but instead he looked upset.

'Hey. Are you ok?'

'Yeah, I'm fine.'

To be honest it didn't really sound like she was fine at all.

'Tony. Tell her what you just told me. Tell her.'

Pepper glared at him, willing him to speak. She seemed thoroughly annoyed with her beau.

'Um … Tasha.'

She flinched at his choice of nickname. It was what Clint always called her.

'I think I'm at fault for Clint leaving.'

She turned back around to stare fiercely at him. He was the cause of this? This pain? It didn't make much sense though. Wasn't Clint Tony's best friend (if he in fact had one)? They were always joking around together like idiots.

Pepper jabbed him in the side to continue his story.

'A couple of days before he left he came to talk to me, Steve and Brucie about something. You know, our usual poker night? He seemed unusually down about something so naturally we started to question him about it.'

Pepper sighed impatiently.

'Long story short Natasha. They gave Clint advice on you.'

'On me?'

Tony shifted uncomfortably but Pepper continued.

'He told them he loved you but didn't know what to do as he knew about your views on love. Holding back was becoming harder and harder but he didn't want to break what you guys had.'

Tony suddenly piped in.

'We all knew of course about you two already. It's so obvious that you guys are sleeping together.'

Natasha glared at him in fury. How the hell did he know that? Did Clint tell him? Pepper jabbed him again in the side before answering Natasha's unspoken question.

'Clint didn't tell them. Tony was just convinced from day one you two were fooling around. Anyway, … the point is they all discussed it, giving him suggestions on what to do, until he decided to tell you how he felt and if you didn't feel the same way he would leave S.H.I.E.L.D and try to forget about you, which was Tony's brilliant advice.'

Natasha sunk to the floor as she registered what Pepper was saying. Clint was trying to forget her. But, he just, he just, … couldn't! she loved him. She loved him so much and he was trying to forget her. Wait, … what was that? She loved him? Before she even realised what she was doing she had said it out loud.

'I love him.'

Pepper and Tony looked at her in shock as they heard her whisper the phrase. Crap! Had she just said that out loud?

Tony was the first to break the silence, grinning at her.

'if you love him, what are you doing moping around here for? We have a hawk to catch.'

For once, Tony being Tony would pay off. She grinned back at him. This could just be one of his moments.

They had been searching for Clint for a fortnight now but nothing had surfaced, even with Tony's amazing connections and hacking abilities. He had managed to rope in Steve and Bruce's help whilst Pepper had called in Jane, but there was still no sign of Hawkeye.

Her heart began throbbing in pain as she thought of him but she tried to stop it. You will find him Natasha, you will. She knew he was a master at hiding, even from her. It took her ages to find his nest sometimes. She kept recalling the time he had beat up Stirling and it had taken her over six hours to find him. His possessiveness had been really attractive then, but she hadn't told him that. As she remembered Stirling, it brought back the not so long ago satisfing crunch of her fist against Maria's face. It was the last thing she had done before leaving S.H.I.E.L.D to find Clint.

The scanner in front of her suddenly lit up and began beeping urgently. Had it found Hawkeye? Tony quickly rushed over before turning it off with disapointment in his eyes. It had been a false alarm. Someone else.

'Tony, I'm going out to look for him. I can't stay cooped up here anymore. It's driving me insane.'

He nodded at her, saying nothing. He understood how she felt. He may be a jackass and a playboy but without Pepper he would be lost and in pain. Steve immediately volenteered to go with her as he had no idea how to use the technology at all. They decided to split up to cover more ground.

Nothing he did could get Natasha out of his head. Why did he have to love her? The one person he couldn't have. The one that didn't believe in love. And yet it couldn't be anyone else. She was beautiful, kind, fiesty, amazing, caring, strong. She was his everything.

He had a big hole in his chest where she should be. It hurt not to see her, but it hurt even more that she did not feel the same way as he did. Why did he feel like this about a person he knew he couldn't have? Just forget her Clint, forget her. Your only hurting yourself more by trying to remember her.

It had been almost a month now with no word from Clint. Her heart hadn't healed and she continued to search for him to no avail. She barely slept or ate. She was scared that if she stopped for too long she would miss him. She needed to see him.

She stood at the enterance to the next town, snow coating her scarlet curls. She silently prayed Clint would be here as she had done a million times before pulling her hood up. She slowly trod forwards scanning the buildings. It was still. With such thick snow falling, everyone was indoors in the warmth. She hugged her coat to her body more trying to stay warm.

*du* *du* *du* *du* *du*

Music trundled into her ears breaking the silence. There was a bar ahead. The door swung open as a guy pushed it outwards, laughing hysterically. He was clearly drunk. Light splayed onto the clouded snow before the door swung back shut with a loud clang.

She turned away. He wasn't Clint. She searched the rest of the area but there was no sign of him what so ever. Disapointed, she turned back around the corner to the main street where the bar stood. To her suprize, she saw the drunken man laying in the snow, a couple of feet from where she had last seen him, in a pool of his own blood. But the thing that struck her the most was the arrow sticking out of him. A long, thin, black arrow.

She rushed to his side, checking for a pulse. He was dead but not for very long from the looks of things. She yanked the arrow from his body, inspecting it. She collapsed in the snow at once. It was Hawkeye's. She had found him.

'Tony. I've found him.'

She cried as she spoke to Tony over the phone.

'I found him.'

She hung up rapidly. He wasn't going to be here long after he had completed the hit. He would have collected the arrow had she not gotten in the way. He had probably mistaken her for a civilian though as her hood covered her face.

She stood over the body and placed the arrow in the angle it had been before, trying to trace which direction it had come from. The left. It had to have come from one of the two buildings to the left which looked like apartment blocks.

She raced towards the apartments, almost tripping on the heavy snow. Clint was so close. She couldn't miss him now. Was he there? Would she finally see him? She decided to take the apartment building on the right first, running up the steps. She burst onto the roof, slamming the door against the wall.

A covered up figure looked up in surprize from where he was sitting leisurely. He looked ready to fight, but he stayed where he was. She instantly recognised his deep blue eyes. Her eyes began to tear up again and she fell to the floor in relief. She had found him. He rushed to her side in concern not recognising her under all the layers and goggles that masked her face.

'Ma'am, are you ok?'

His deep blue eyes stared at her in concern. It was Clint! It was definitely him.

'Ma'am?'

She leaped forward to embrace him, crying into his thick jacket.

'Tasha?'

He stared at her in shock as he recognised her. She grabbed his face with her hands, pulling his hood down so she could get a better look at his face. She ripped off her own goggles, staring into his eyes like she couldn't believe he was real.

'I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.' She whispered before pressing her lips to his.

He broke away, staring at her in confusion.

'Do you really mean that?'

He looked at her a moment more, trying to find the truth in her grass green eyes. He seemed to find it as he then proceeded to push her down into the snow and impatiently kiss her.

She had finally found her Hawkeye and given him his Black Widow.

Hope you all like. would appreciate comments to help me improve my work :)

RO