I've always known. Always fucking known. I watched Shima smile like a moron and scratch the back of his head.
"Heh. So I'll see you guys later, yeah?" My eyes twitched as the idiot turned on his heel and headed for the door. The small shivering Konekomaru standing next to me simply waved bye, then looked up at me with a smirk.
"What are you looking so damn chipper for, Konekomaru?" I grunted as he fixed his glasses.
"Just wondering how badly his date is going to end this time." He giggled while rubbing his bald head before heading back to the dorm. I should have been laughing, but I wasn't. The same old boring school bell rung as the clock struck five, the chime resounding throughout the entire academy. I sighed, slicked my hair back and started for my own dorm room. Thick rays of sunset light hit the ground through the windows in the hallway. Pinks, reds and oranges blinded my eyes as I tried to reach the door. It was old and cracked at the hinges, always creaked when it opened; much like the entire other building that the Okumura twins dorm in. I gave the old door a good punch for it to open, effective, as usual. At first I stormed into the bathroom, I was in desperate need of a shower. I pulled my shirt off and checked myself out a bit in the mirror. Dark circles were beneath my glaring brown eyes, from lack of sleep, no surprise there. I then slicked my blonde streak back again, no re-growth for now. After a bit of flexing and sighs of disappointment I stripped down to nothing and jumped in the shower. The water was cold, it felt as if small knives made of ice were pelting down against my body. Usually people like hot or warm showers, but not me. Just as the numbness began to settle in I stared face down at my feet, drops of water rained from the tip of my nose.
'He's out on another bloody date.' I gritted my teeth. 'Why the fuck does he still bother to put up with this? I know that it's all a lie. Fucks sake.' I blinked water out of my eyes and began to rub soap all over my body, from my broad shoulders to my calves and then let the water wash away all of the bubbles and sweat. My eyes were sore and tired.
It seemed like a fortnight until the bastard Shima returned. He attempted to slip in the room sneakily, failing to stop the door from creaking or yelping ever so slightly at the sight of the moth on the wall. I cringed as I heard his footsteps come nearer. Yes, we shared a room together. Konekomaru was with some other kid. But that didn't mean that Shima was any good at being a roommate. He was lazy, always slept in, came back late from his stupid dates or flirting sessions with Paku, makes more than enough noise and so on. I heard Shima take his shirt off and shove an old pair of boxers on, the sound I was so used to... The sound that I shouldn't be so used to hearing. But it's hard not to, with him waking me up every time he comes back and all.
"Psst!" Shima tried to get my attention as he got into his bed. "Oi, Bon, you awake?" I scrunched my face up even harder at the stupid nickname everyone now knows me by, but stopped myself from replying. This was the time to pretend to be asleep, I knew what would happen next. "Heh. Not awake huh... Guess I've gotten pretty used to this." I covered my mouth as I scoffed.
'Gotten used to this? Who does he think he is, Batman?' It was almost kind of cute that he thought he was so sneaky, when really he's not. That's something no one would ever tell him though. Shima sighed and rolled around in his bed, only making more noise and making me more irritated. He then sighed heavily.
"It's getting tiring..." A shiver ran down my spine as he began to murmur to himself.
'The act... Is he...' Then it began. Shima inhaled deeply, suspicious, I opened my eyes ever so slightly and scanned the room. My shirt was gone. All of a sudden my entire body froze up, there was only one other place that my shirt could have been, I only threw it on the ground just before I slipped into bed. Shima had it. Of course he had it. He took it when I was pretending to be asleep. I bit my lip. Hard. 'Fuck.' He inhaled once more, his blankets and sheets rustled. My hands were trembling by now, I was completely unsure of how to react. I mean, I had only thought this was a possibility, but now that I'm actually awake and he is actually... It was almost unbelievable. I began hoping that the shock would make me faint and wake up in the morning as if nothing had ever happened. 'O-Oh my god... Fuck. What do I do? Should I ignore it? Should I interrupt him?' Shima let out a short high-pitched gasp and I covered my mouth. I could hear him, every second his breath would hasten and his voice would get that little bit louder. He sounded frantic. But even still, as this was all happening, I still could not bring myself to act in any way. So I just lay there, covering my mouth, eyes shut, hands trembling and my heart racing.
"Uhn!" Shima moaned and began panting. I heard him roll over in his bed a couple of more times, checking under the blankets and sighing. "Shit." He buried his face in his hands with a loud slap. "Shit. Shit. Shit." At first I still had no idea how to react, but then Shima began to whimper. I opened my eyes. "Fuck. I'm fucking disgusting. Fuck. Not again." Shima never talked like this, not to anyone. "Fuck." A drop of sweat made it's way down my forehead. Soon after I fell fast asleep.
Bright beams of morning light shone through the window. My eyes flickered open, I had to rub them for my vision to focus. I had originally planned on forgetting every little thing about last night, hoping that I would forget, but as soon as I placed my foot on the floor, I remembered. I let out a heavy sigh and scratched my head. Shima was waiting by the door.
"Rise and shine Bon~" He grinned. "You'll be late, better hurry up and get ready." And then he left, just like that. I had no time to respond in any way, I didn't even get to wave got bye or give him a nod of approval.
'How is he so... cheery? Compared to last night. He was upset, wasn't he?' I jumped out of bed and looked for any old shirt to wear. Just as I was about to put on my ordinary white one that I had worn yesterday, I cringed. This shirt was the one that Shima stole. 'I can't believe him...' I threw it in the washing basket and got out a new clean shirt to put on. Slicked my hair back, put my blazer on, did my tie and then headed out the door. I was in no mood for cram school, no mood to fill my head with more sutras or watch Shima flirt with Izumo. I was sick of it, the same old thing every time. Why does he flirt with all the girls, I know that he doesn't really care for them. It's just a fucking act. 'Ugh.' Shima looked over at me and Konekomaru, laughing sheepishly and heading our way. He got a good slap to the face, no surprise there. I looked down at Konekomaru, he had his hands on his hips and his brows knitted together. He was pissed, again.
"Really Shima! I can't believe you... You're a monk, you know? What are you doing flirting every day? It's getting annoying and boring for all of us." He began to shiver, but I nodded in agreement hoping that he would continue. Konekomaru was right. "Can't you control yourself?" I watched as Shima's grin dropped.
"W-well you know... Heh." His eyes averted from ours and he began to scratch his head. "I can't help it! I want all these girls, they all want me." He shrugged, I scoffed.
'Sure. Whatever you fucking say, Shima.'
"Besides! You guys know I'm searching for a girlfriend, right?" Konekomaru stepped closer to Shima, but just as he was about to open his mouth I raised my voice.
"No you don't! We all know you don't need a girlfriend, as soon as you get one you'll be swooning over some other girl anyway. So what's the fucking point? You're never going to find your perfect girl. Alright? When are you going to get that through your thick skull, Shima?" I paused. 'Did I just...?' Shima stood before me, completely expressionless, even Konekomaru next to me held no expression. 'That was uncalled for... Wasn't it... Fuck. Argh.' "H-Hey Shima listen..." My voice was shaky, but Shima stopped me.
"Just leave it. I get it alright, you guys are sick of me being all over the chicks." He shrugged, beginning to give us that old silly grin again. "You're just jealous, I know. Hehe." That was it. Something clicked in my head and before I knew it I had both my fists clenched, I was holding the pink-haired doofus by the collar. My nose inches from his. For a moment there, I swear his eyes grew wider, I felt his muscles become loose, his knees were like jelly. Konekomaru started to protest but I chose to ignore him.
"Fucking listen here godammit! I'm not jealous, why would I be?" I yelled at him. I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to tell everyone, it's just an act. I know that it's just an act. Something was off. Shima was still staring blankly at me, unable to stay on his own two feet, pupils dilated. He wasn't laughing or trying to push me off. 'What the fuck do I do now?' Luckily, just before I had nothing left to say, Mr. Okumura pulled the moron away from me.
"Have you guys forgotten, that we're in class right now?" He was pissed. All three of us looked at each other and began to ease down, trying hard not to laugh too loudly. Even Shima was grinning, back to normal, I guess.
'Heh. Darn. Just a moment there he looked like he wet himself.' I took my seat next to Konekomaru and Shima wandered to the seat behind us. 'Damn. Now I have to get ready to fill my head with more chants.'
Cram school was over, and there was only a few hours left of school. It was lunch time. The three of us were sitting in the classroom, everyone else was outside or at the cafeteria. I sighed. Just as I was about to speak up, Konekomaru darted off.
"I-I'm sorry guys! I forgot, I have to do some catch up study!" He waved goodbye to both of me and Shima. It took me a while to realize, but this was the first time the both of us had been together alone since... well, last night. My cheeks began to heat up, I had no idea what to say or do.
"Heh." Shima spread his arms out in the air and yawned. "That was some show you put on for us during cram school, ae Bon?" I looked up and glared at him, it was hard not to. He just returned my look with a clueless one, his eyebrows raised and his shoulders shrugging. But that only just made me more embarrassed, so I averted my gaze and let out a sigh.
"You know what I was getting at..." I mumbled through my teeth with my chin resting in my hand. It took me some time to realize that I wasn't going to get a reply from the sheepish pink-headed boy who just continued to sit there completely out of the loop. So I glared at him again. Shima flinched a bit and looked the other way himself, his cheeks turning a light pink. "Oi, talk to me. Moron." I watched as his shoulders raised even higher and he had buried his face in his hands. He reminded me of one of those small hedgehogs you find in your backyard that curl up in a ball, shivering in fear until you walk a distance away. Hedgehogs are cute.
"Aw come on man! Just leave it already." The hedgehog finally looked up at me, almost looking more confident ever by the sneaky grin he gave me.
'No. Don't you fucking dare. Don't laugh this off. Don't do this again. Stop fucking lying to me!' "Don't give me that shit!" I raised my voice, which was followed by a pause. Now we were on the same wavelength. The bell was going to go any second now but I didn't give a fuck. I slicked my hair back and gritted my teeth. "I know all about it, Shima. All this fucking time. And I'm sick of it. So just stop denying it!"
"Denying what?" He spoke up, eyes wide and his cheeks completely tomato red now. I could tell he was sweating and shivering beneath his shirt.
"You fucking know what. You fucking KNOW what. From the first time we met... and last night. And all those other times. You didn't think I would notice? Did you really think i was that stupid? Did you REALLY think you were that smart and sneaky? You're so fucking pathetic." Just as I realized that I was rambling far too much I took a moment to observe my surroundings. Shima sat there in front of me, no cheeky grin, no raised eyebrows, no tears. Nothing. There was nothing. "Shi-" The bell rung. I had said too much. I tried to shrug it off as the pink haired boy ran off to class without me, it's not like I knew that I wouldn't be hearing from him for a long time.