Enia: So, Maximum Ride Meets Purple Tractors was my first fanfiction EVAH! Way back in 7th grade (I'm in tenth grade now). Literally ten minutes before I sat down to write this, I decided that I wanted to so I could see how much my writing has changed in three years. And for shits and giggles. Also because I totally don't have enough projects going right now.

Samik (Enia's best friend): Cough, yes she does.

Enia: Shut up. Purple Tractors (also known as Purple Tractor Driving Talking Chickens from Outer Space who Ride Motorcycles) is an original work of my. I recently self-published it through Lulu! Yay me! If you want to read it, PM me, and I'll send you a link to where you can find it on Noveljoy.

I might add some bits in, new characters that hadn't been invented back then, and I want to fix the major case of Writer's Block I came down with at the end of the story. I was also planning on waiting until I had the entire thing rewritten before publishing it, but…now I don't feel like it. I have three chapters done. That's good enough. And that's about all I have to say right now, so please enjoy Maximum Ride Meets Purple Tractors…or the Rainbow Colored Nonsensical Goopy Seepage that comes from Enia's Brain.

You have been warned.

Maximum Ride Meets Purple Tractors

Samik: Wait, wait, wait! Disclaimer! Enia Silverson does not own Maximum Ride. James Patterson does. Thank you!

Chapter One

Vote Angel for Leader!

Angel's POV

I glared furiously at Max, arms crossed and legs spread apart. "Yes."

Max sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, exasperated. "Angel, I already said no."

"Yes," I repeated, pushing the thought towards Max's brain. But my attack met an iron shield, hard and impenetrable. I gritted my teeth in frustration; Max and I had lived together for so long, and Max was already so strong. She had grown practically immune to my mind tricks.

Max felt me in her mind. She glowered at me angrily. "Stop trying to influence me, Angel! You know its not going to work, and that I hit it when you try."

I ignored her and pushed harder, probing for weakness. But there were none to be found.

"Damnit, Angel! I said no!"

There was a loud thump on the door. I felt the familiar sightless thoughts of Iggy outside in the hallway. He was sleep-deprived and trying to figure out what was going on. He'd missed the door and ran smack dab into the wall. Max glanced over and started moving towards to it help Iggy inside. That was all the distraction I needed. I shoved my thought at her mind as hard as I could, my eyes scrunching with concentration. Max froze, face twitching and shoulders shaking as she fought to ignore me. "ANGEL!" she finally yelled, disturbing my concentration. My attack fell apart like a soggy cake. The ceiling shook from the force of Max's shout, and upstairs there was a series of loud thuds. The rest of the flock had been shaken from their beds.

Iggy finally managed to find the knob and shove the door open. "What the hell is going on in here?!"

"Angel is trying to…convince me that she should be the leader," Max answered through tight lips.

Iggy nodded thoughtfully. "I take it that by convince, you mean influence your mind?"

Max groaned, pinching her nose again. "Yeah."

Iggy turned to give me a serious adult look, but he ended up glaring at a spot about three feet about my left shoulder. He folded his arms across his chest, trying to look all-knowing, but his mussed-up hair sort of ruined the effect.

I pouted a bit, trying to turn on my childish charm. "But I wanna be leader." At the same time, I pushed the thought towards Iggy's mind, knowing its shield wouldn't be as strong as Max's. Iggy was easily distracted, and that made him an easy target.

His face went blank, and I pushed harder. I could feel my pulse pounding in my temple. I felt my though slip through the barrier. Iggy turned to Max. "I think Angel should be the leader, Max," he said, voice a monotone.

Max glared at him even though the look was lost. Then she switched it to me. "No."

Nudge, Gazzy, and Fang entered the kitchen. They all still held sleep in their faces. "What's going on?" Nudge wondered, her words whizzing out of her mouth. "Why is Max yelling? Did she make the ceiling shake? That's so cool! How'd she do it?"

Max held up her hand in exasperation. "Nudge."

"Right, sorry. I'll be quiet now."

"I'm trying to convince Max that I should be leader," I said before Max could get her opinion in, shoving the thought into their minds. Fang's mind automatically rejected the thought, locking down and shutting me out. I gave up on him as he glared at me. But the idea stayed wheedled in Nudge and the Gasman's minds.

"I agree with Angel," Iggy put in, nodding knowingly. "She could get us whatever we want with her awesome mind control powers, convince fish to become suicidal. We would never be hungry again! And–"

"ZOMG!" Nudge interrupted eagerly. She was bouncing up and down in place. "That would be like, so spiffendicular! She could get us awesome shoes, 'cause I majorly need new shoes! Mine are, like, sooo last year! And everyone loves new shoes! Then she could get us into fancy restaurants for free 'cause everyone would think we had already paid, and we would never have to dumpster-dive again! It's so gross! And we'd never, ever have to steal again either!"

But the time Nudge had finished her little rant, Max was practically shooting daggers out of her eyeballs, and I was grinning like the evil little six-year-old maniac Max thought I was. I turned to her, victorious. "Well, Max, it looks like you've been out-voted."

"This isn't a democracy!" she shouted. "This is a Maxocracy!"

Nudge, Gazzy, and I turned to scowl at her as Fang moved to stand beside her. They folded their arms simultaneously. "You. Are. Out-voted," I snarled, shoving the 'Angel for Leader' line at her again. Her teeth gritted. I pushed harder, refusing to give up, and suggested to Gazzy and Iggy that they should go blow something up. I figured it would distract Max enough that I would be able to break through. They eagerly agreed and zipped out of the house.

Five seconds later the entire house – and possible the mountain it was sitting on – shook so violently it nearly threw us all off our feet.

Max stumbled and ran into the wall, and I shoved even harder, finally breaking through. Her eyes glazed over. "Angel is leader," she mumbled as the tremors stopped.

Gazzy and Iggy bounded back into the house, grinning widely. "Yeah! That was awesome!" the Gasman crowed. He and Iggy high-fived.

"So?" Iggy asked eagerly. "Did it work? Did Max agree?"

"Yep," I answered, sounding proud. "She gave me the okay." I spread my arms wide. "I am now leader."

Everyone but Fang cheered as Max finally snapped out of her daze. "Wait, what just happened?"

"You just made Angel leader," Fang leaned over and told her.

Max glared at me, sighing. "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did," I told her happily, just like a little kid who had just gotten the best birthday present ever (and a princess cake).

"No, I didn't," she said stubbornly.

"Yup, I did," I argued.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Before Max could snap back another 'No' Fang stepped in, tired of the arguing. "Actually, you did. Gazzy and Iggy blew something up to distract you and it worked. It was a low trick."

"Well, I take back whatever it was I said! It was real; I was under the influence!"

Gazzy gasped. "Max! Have you been drinking?!"

"Shut up, Gazzy! You're not helping! I'm still leader!"

"You can't do that," I pouted.

Max opened her mouth to reply, but before the words could come out of her mouth, another explosion rocked the mountain. Everyone turned and looked at Gazzy and Iggy, but they just shook their heads.

Enia: So, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. If you want to, you should go check out the original. I'll see you all later!