Pre-Teenage Revelations
Epic Eight
Written by Cartman's Girl and Poe

It was a fine skool day, but something.. evil was afoot. Well, the kind of evil perpetrated by prepubescent girls, at least. Suzie glared at Athra from afar, the disguised Irken sitting on a bench by herself, Ivy in the nearby lady's room.

"Puh, look at her. She acts so.. full of herself." Suzie snorted to her cohorts. Her cohort, by the name of Mandy snorted.

"I know, you'd think something so short would be easy to push around but no..."

"I have a plan, though." Suzie smirked evilly, turning to face her friends. "I heard from a very reliable source that she has some kind of freakish allergy to.. wait for it.. water. I mean, come on!" She laughed, waving her hand, then returned to her evil grin, "I say we test this out. At the very least, we'll get her precious little outfit drenched."

"Good timing, her bodyguard just retreated to the ladies." said another cohort - this one named Nanette.

"Water, sheesh.. what a stupid allergy!" Mandy scoffed.

"Let's not let this opprotunity pass us by." Suzie held up a deflated red balloon. Soon after, the shadows started in on Athra, taking the form of Suzie and her friends looming over her, the former's arms held behind her back. Athra blinked, looking up at the group. She narrowed an eye, Suzie and co were never nice to be near to.

"What do you want?" she sneered.

"Well, Athra.. I know we haven't gotten along that well in the past, but, my friends and I realize we were being.." She sighed here, taking on her best diplomatic tone, "Foolish, I guess you could say.. We saw that you were a perfectly capable girl just as any of us and we want to.. bury the hatchet. You know, mend our ways."

"I see... well! I knew this day would come, finally you... girls have noticed me for the superior being I so am." Athra smirked, sitting up straighter. Nanette rolled her eyes at how full of herself Athra was.

"Oh, yes," Suzie glanced upwards, "In fact, we've come to give you a.. peace offering." He polite smile turned into an evil smirk at that. Vist was wandering around the corner, his hands in his pockets, not really paying attention until he saw the wobbly, glistening balloon held behind Suzie's back.

"A gift?" she arched an eye ridge again. "Well... okay..." The grin on Suzie's face became absolutely wicked at that, and several things happened at once; Suzie reeled back to launch the balloon, and as it flew through the air, an orange and green streak suddenly knocked Athra out of the way and pinned her to the ground, a loud splash being heard. To say the least, all were surprised and shocked. Athra blinked her eyes open, to see Vist pinning her down in a... ahem... odd way. By now, the girls were gone, and smoke was now raising into the air. Most of it oozing up off Vist's body.

"Uhhmm.. Vist?" she asked quietly. Vist cracked his eyes open,

"..yeh?" Obviously it hadn't registered yet that the water was eating through his clothes and his flesh.

"Get off me." she snarled lowly, but ended up pushing him off, but stopping. She then saw how the water was soaking his clothes, spreading the mositure over his body. Athra glanced at where the girls were, frowning. "Oh those miserable..."

"My pleasure, I musta trip-" He blinked, then suddenly howled with pain and started spouting off enough curses to make anyone in the nearby vicinity blush... except Athra.

"Ugh, calm down calm down..." she opened her pak and pulled out what looked like normal human bandages, but they had the Irken symbol on a few. "Gimmie ya arm." He was thrashing around on the ground, but managed to force himself to raise his arm, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut, a pathetic whimper squeeking out of the back of his throat. Athra rolled her eyes and pulled his shirt sleeve down and began smearing on some cream over the burnt skin, before applying the bandage.

"It hit your back, you'll have to take your shirt off or something unless you want the evil wetness spreading." He managed to sit up and unbuttoned his shirt, wincing as he peeled it off his body and over his pod, not even caring if anyone was around to wonder why his backpack was attached to his spine. Or at how well trimmed he was for the fact. Athra blinked, looking him over slightly with wandering eyes before snapping out of it and beginning to rub the cream onto his back and side.

"You shouldn't have done that you know, I'm quite capable of taking care of myself."

"I din't do it on purpose.. I mean.. I wasn't thinking.." He hissed with pain, tensing up and arching his shoulders as she covered up the wounds.

"Yeah whatever." Athra pulled the bandages out and wrapped them around his torso to get to his back. He started to relax and loose his tension, sighing and sagging.

"Why th'hell do burns hafta burn so damn much.." he muttered, wincing slightly whenever she tightened the bandage around the wound.

"That's why they call them burns." she smirked, neither two noticing Ivy approaching slowly. She'd been shocked into silence. Afterall, the two were usually about to kill each other; here they were, Vist without his shirt and Athra tending to his burns.

"Maybe I'm better off not asking.." She made a face. Athra blinked, finishing up on Vist and staring over her shoulder at Ivy. Could that be a... blush?

"N-nothing is going on!" she spluttered, getting to her feet. "Vist was merely wounded while protecting me from an attack by those horrible Skool girls."

"Oh, that bunch of.. wait, protecting you?" She looked disturbed at that. Vist picked his coat up, looking at the semi-ruined material and shook his head,

"Can't resist a damsel in distress," he smirked at Athra, before wincing severely as he stood.

"Please, I was fine. And I'm just returning the favor." Athra scoffed, stuffing the things back into her pak.

"Yeah, well, frankly," He pulled his coat on, tugging it, "I think th'whole thing was a set up so she could see me shirtless."

"Ugh.." Ivy backed away from the two of them. Athra crinkled her nose area,

"Euw, what makes you think I'd want to see you shirtless?" obviously disregarding her wander of the eyes over him a while ago..

"I dunno, th'fact 'm drop dead sexy?" He smirked, strutting. Good thing for her he'd been in too much pain to notice her wandering eyes.

"I wish you would just drop dead," Ivy snorted.

"Me too." Athra frowned, standing up. "C'mon Ivy, let's go before he goes in heat." Vist glared at Ivy, scowling, then looked to Athra with a raised eyeridge,

"Wait, don't think y'could handle me?" His teasings lately had definately been more in the realm of 'flirt'.

"No one would ever want to handle you." she snapped back, glaring at him. Ivy sighed, hardly believing she was being the nonconfrontational one for once.. but those two were getting into all out brawls more often than not lately, and they seemed to be enjoying them a bit too much.

"Come on, Athra, just ignore him.."

"You were handlin' me jes a minute ago!" He smirked.

"Well I couldn't leave you out here and have some human find out anything could I?!" Athra fumed, then released a sigh. "Fine, let's leave him to his brooding." with that, she turned and marched off quickly.

"Hmph." Vist folded his arms, but watched her go with a raised eyeridge. Meanwhile, on the other side of the skoolground, Suzie had managed to break free of her partners in crime and was catching her breath, sitting on a bench. Allison glared at her from across the way,

"I wonder what that little rat just got done doing.." Ragde blinked, lowering 'Ivanhoe' - a book he had to read for English - looking over at Suzie.

"Hrm?"

"She looks like she's been up to no good." Allison definately didn't like the girl, hadn't since that party. Huh, wonder why.

"You always think she's up to something." Ragde said, placing his bookmark in the book and shoving it into his bag.

"Well.. she usually is, isn't she?" She waved her hands. "I just don't like her."

"Hmm well... what ya gonna do?" he shrugged, looking over at Suzie now. Allison didn't answer, just scowling.

"Hmph.." Suzie looked up, noticing Radge and smiling kindly at him, though it did seem a bit.. plastic. Course, Ragde being stupid - that or just returning the favor - smiled back slightly and giving a short wave. Suzie's smile broadened and she returned the wave, seeming friendly enough. Allison blinked, looking back and forth between them, "Hey, what're you doing?!" She had been a bit edgy, moodswingy lately.. wonder why. Ragde jumped slightly, his antennae scythes faltering.

"Waving..." he said meekly. He was never one to be around edgy people.

"Don't encourage her! Next thing you know she'll be-"

"Hey, Raggy," Suzie called out, and Allison balled her fists, glaring at her from across the way. This only seemed to amuse Suzie. Ragde looked back at Suzie, shrugging at Allison then turned to see Suzie again. Poor guy...

"Uh, hey Suzie.." he half-called out. Never was one to yell either, the wall flower...

"C'mere! I wanna ask you somethin." Suzie grinned devillishly, and Allison fumed. Ragde blinked, looking at Allison before getting to his feet slowly. Allison looked up at him aghastly, then glowered,

"Oh fine! Go!" She folded her arms and turned away from him. Jeeze, what was with her lately?  Probably what he was thinking, pretty much. He sighed, he didn't like being around her when she was like this, but he didn't exactly like Suzie that much either. Least she didn't snap at him, so Ragde slung his bag over his shoulder and walked over to Suzie.

"What?" he asked.

"Hm.." She put a finger to her chin, making a show of looking thoughtful. A slightly sheepish smile curled her lip, and she glanced to the side, "Okay, I lied.." She stood, "I wanted to see something."

"...you wanted to see something? What, have I got toilet paper stuck to my shoe again?" he glanced down at his boots quickly, but relaxed when he saw nothing.

"No, silly.." She laughed softly and studied his face for a moment, before reaching over and lifting his glasses off of his face gingerly. She held them to the side, "Hm.. much better." Ragde blinked, feeling his face for some reason.

"Uh... what's better?" She giggled, her smile turning downright foxy,

"You." She poked his cheek with one of the arms of his glasses, "You look so much cuter without this big geeky things on your face.." To say the least, he goes red.

"Uhh... well I kinda need those..." he couldn't exactly see the foxy smile, since without his glasses everything were blurry figures.

"Oh, pshaw." She ran the rubber-coated tip of the glasses arm down his neck, "Get contacts. You've got looks to die for, even with the green skin." She withdrew the hand holding the glasses, just in case he tried to retrieve them, putting the arm between her lips and worrying at it with her teeth, scrutinizing him. "I mean, you have the hair, the blue eyes.."

"I... can't wear contacts," he muttered, knowing he couldn't wear two sets of contacts at once. And he didn't even try to get perscribed lenses that size. Last time his Dad tried the lenses exploded. "My eyes get all red 'n stuff... that's why I wear them. I mean, hyeah if I could wear contacts I would but.. I can't." Ragde sounded more nervous now, being without glasses made him feel all of a sudden very vulnerable to everything and everyone.

"Huh.. pity." She set the glasses into her shirt collar, clipping them onto the edge of the low cut opening, right down.. yeah. "I guess I'll have to enjoy you while I can then, huh?" She smirked visciously. Maybe it was just as well he couldn't see all these visual signals.. but Allison sure could, and she was white knuckled and as green as Ragde with jealousy. Ragde then held a hand up,

"Um, can I have them back please?" he asked nervousally even more so then before. His antennae were shaking as they held back behind his head, knowing something was afoot and quickly getting the message to his brain.

"Not juuuuust yet.." And with that she leaned over, planting a kiss on his mouth. Unfortunately for her, Allison wasn't the only one witness to the proceedings. Ragde's antenane now stood on end, the bends in them momentarily straightening out in shock. His eyes widened, and he stepped back but too quickly really and ended up falling over his feet. Poor Ragde though, grabbed onto Suzie's arm, pulling her down with him and more or less onto him too. Poor, poor Ragde. Suzie blinked in surprise before grinning victoriously,

"You get straight to the point, don't you?" She murmured, getting comfortable on him. Suzie was just about to continue when.. she felt herself lifted off of Radge by the back of her shirt, nearly being strangled in the process.

"A-hem." Ivy narrowed her eyes, bringing the smaller girl up to eye-level with her. Allison was on the scene too, and actually looked scarier than Ivy at the moment as she railed at Suzie,

"You little slut!" headed off a stream of profanities no girl her age should know. Ragde sat up on the floor, looking still paralyzed with shock. His hands on the floor, his big feet sprawled out sill. He panted, trying to regain his breath again as he tried to block out the insults and everything else coming from the three girls. He sat up now, bringing a foot up and cringed as he heard a 'smash' sound. Lifting his foot up, he felt where his foot had been and sure enough... broken glasses.

"Oh... man.." he murmered to himself. Eventually Suzie managed to free herself from Ivy, running off before she got pummeled. Ivy glared after her, then looked down at Ragde, noting the broken glasses.

"Oh, great." She rolled her eyes. Allison was practically slathering, but calmed down after the girl was out of sight and sat on her knees by Radge, taking his arm so he knew where she was,

"You alright?"

"I, I don't know I, I didn't welcome that - okay I didn't say to her to do that I didn't ask to fall down I didn't ask to break my only pair of glasses I have at skool I didn't ask for it!" Ragde rambled, shaking like a terrified leaf and his free hand grabbing Allison's.

"I know, I know, it's not your fault she's a tramp." Allison hefted his upper half onto her lap and hugged him. Ivy shook her head,

"Jeeze.. There's only one more period left, Radge. Just have your friend there be your guide dog." Allison glared up at her, but wasn't in a mood to argue. Ragde just sighed, his antennae scythes flopping back down against his head again.

"This has got to be one of the worst days of my life..." he muttered.

"Try defending yourself next time and maybe it won't be so bad." Ivy snorted, walking off. Allison frowned in her direction, then looked down at Ragde,

"Told you she was trouble," She said, but not in any kind of hard tone, more like soft teasing.

"I know..." he said sulkily, like a little boy being scolded by his parent. Allison had to smile at his sulky tone despite herself, lifting him up a bit more and hugging him, resting her forehead against his temple. Her mood sure seemed to have done a 180. Ragde's antennae scythes trembled slightly, but he sighed.

"...so will you be my guide dog for the rest of the day?" he asked nervouslly.

"'Course, Raggy. Can't let you wander off and get into any more trouble." Even if he couldn't see it, there was a smile in her voice.

"Ah.. thanks.." he smiled slightly, "I knew I shoulda brought my second pair to Skool... but nooo..." Ragde rolled his eyes, then shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, you can get them when you get home." She reached over and stroked one of the odd scythes sticking out of his hair almost unconciously, since it was convienent. Ragde's eyes widened slightly, but nodded.

"Yeah you're right..." Just then, the Skool bell rang. Lunch is done for the day, woo.

"C'mon." She stood up, reluctantly displacing him and helping him to his feet.

"Joy... Maths." the two headed off. My what a very interesting and busy lunch hour this was.

[To be continued!]