Recently, the nightmares had begun to seize him nearly every night.
Like a plague they descended upon him, made him constantly ill. His face turned pallid, and he looked frailer than ever. Shadows manifested beneath his eyes, whose once shining luster had dulled to a haze.
Tomonori knew when nightmares came. He would hear Tsukasa thrashing in his room and crying out into the night. Wordless screams of raw agony and terror that ripped deep into his soul, knowing his angel was suffering and he was powerless to protect him. When the nightmare finally relinquished its hold, Tsukasa would come padding softly to his room.
If the light was on, he would knock quietly, and wait for the soft, "Come in." Then he would stand hesitant and shy in the doorway, trembling, eyes still wide with fear, until Tomonori said, "Come here," and he would almost flee to the comforting embrace of his guardian's arms, where he would cry himself to sleep.
If the light was off, he would ease the door open as quietly as possible, tiptoe across the room and carefully slide into bed with him. Tomonori would pretend to be asleep until Tsukasa turned his back on him, and he would watch as his angel began to shake with silent sobs. He knew that if he revealed that he was awake, Tsukasa would feel horribly guilty for coming in without permission, and open a whole new emotional can of worms, so instead he would simply keep watch over him, helpless. In the morning, he would be gone before Tomonori awoke.
Tsukasa never talked about his dreams. Tomonori assumed they were traumatic memories resurfacing that Tsukasa would talk about if he needed to. But Tsukasa never told, and Tomonori never asked.
Then, one night, Tsukasa screamed out his name.
His blood ran cold at the sound of his voice, filled with utter horror and despair.
He nearly jumped out of bed and ran to Tsukasa's room, but Tsukasa beat him to it—almost immediately he heard his footsteps rushing to a halt before his door.
The light was out; he heard the door slide open.
"Tomonori-san." Tsukasa's voice was hesitant and barely-audible in the dark.
Tomonori sat up in surprise. None of Tsukasa's previous nightmares had been terrible enough for him to try to wake him—not that he was ever really asleep when Tsukasa came in.
"Gomen nasai," Tsukasa whispered hurriedly. "I didn't want to wake you—"
"Tsukasa," he interrupted gently. "Come here." He reached out to him and Tsukasa nearly flew into his arms, pressing urgently against him, his hands moving over Tomonori's arms and shoulders.
Tomonori's breath quickened involuntarily. "Tsukasa?"
"I'm sorry," Tsukasa gasped, snatching his hands back. "I just… I was so afraid… you're… you're not dead, Tomonori-san…"
Dead? "Is that what happened in your nightmare?" he prompted gently.
"Yes," sobbed Tsukasa as tears began to rain down his cheeks. "There was a b-battle, and I lost control… m-my other self took over, and when I awoke again, you were… just, just lying on the ground, and there was b-blood everywhere…" He shuddered violently. "And my hands… were covered in y-your blood… it was I who k-killed y-y-y…" he broke off, his hands covering his face as he sobbed uncontrollably.
"Tsukasa…" Tomonori gently pulled Tsukasa's hands from his tear-streaked face and placed them on his own face. "I'm alright. See? It was just a nightmare. Nothing bad is going to happen."
Tsukasa shook his head vigorously. "But it could! Don't you see? I can't control this… this thing inside me! I'm so afraid of losing you, especially to myself!" He slid his palms over Tomonori's face, almost reverently. Tomonori's hands were still loosely encircling his wrists, and the priest could feel Tsukasa's pulse fluttering wildly beneath the pads of his fingers.
"I can't bear the thought of living without you, Tomonori-san." Tsukasa's voice had softened, losing its desperation and terror, replaced with a quiet ache and deep yearning. His slender fingers traced the curve of Tomonori's cheekbone, making him shiver and his mouth go dry.
"Tsukasa…" Tomonori couldn't tear his gaze away from the amethyst eyes so overflowing with an intensity he couldn't quite identify, but it made it impossible for him to move or think about anything except the positively electric connection between their eyes and their skin where they touched.
"You are my everything." The whisper held such tangible anguish that Tomonori felt it solidify in his chest. His lips parted, but he couldn't speak around the swelling.
"Tomonori-san… I… I…"
Tomonori suddenly didn't need to hear the rest of the sentence. He'd already read it within Tsukasa's eyes, at last identified that intensity that had begged to be heard for so long. Slowly, Tomonori slid his hand over Tsukasa's, which was still on his cheek, turned his face into it, and pressed his lips against the palm.
Tsukasa's breath caught. "Tomonori-san…?"
Tomonori held Tsukasa's captive hand close to his lips, so the blonde could feel his warm breath feathering over his fingers.
"You must know by now, my angel… how much I adore you."
Tsukasa looked at him in wonder.
He slowly leaned forward, giving Tsukasa plenty of time to pull away, but Tsukasa remained completely still until their lips brushed tentatively. Tsukasa gasped, as if he hadn't really believed that their lips would actually touch. For a moment everything froze, and then Tomonori pulled back, reconnecting with Tsukasa's eyes, his own eyes shining with that same intensity that radiated from Tsukasa.
Then Tsukasa's gentle hands were cupping his face and Tsukasa was kissing him, sweetly and tenderly, and he pulled Tsukasa tight against him as his lips responded willingly.
When they parted, Tsukasa tucked his head under Tomonori's chin, pressing as close as possible to him. Tomonori's arms were warm and strong around him as he burrowed his face into the crook of his guardian's neck.
He took a shuddering breath. "Tomonori-san… if I ever…"
"Shh. You won't."
"Please." He pulled back to meet his eyes again. "You must promise me that if I ever… if my other self ever tries to kill you, you mustn't hesitate to kill me first."
Tomonori shook his head. "I can't do that."
"Please!" he begged, "I can't bear the thought of the one I love dying by my own hand!"
Tomonori slid his hand along the curve of Tsukasa's neck, his gaze gentle but sad. "Then you know why I can't promise you that."
"Oh," Tsukasa's breath came out in a quiet sob, as he realized his error. "I'm sorry!"
Tomonori smiled at him. "Don't worry, my love. We'll face this together, like always."
Tsukasa felt the tension leave his body as Tomonori kissed him again, and he melted against him in trust and utter bliss.
If there was one person in the world who could save him from his demons, it was Tomonori.
Like always.