Pooh Takes A Pooh

Disclaimer: I don't own this Winnie the Shit or any of it's shitty characters

One sunny day in the Hundred Acre Wood Winnie the Pooh was sitting on his fat ass eating honey and jerking off "Oh honey, you're the only one who understands me," said the fat ugly bear.

All of a sudden, he felt a sensation in his ass that wasn't caused by Christopher Robin for once, "Uh-oh, I have a rumbly in my bumbly," he said because he's a retard that can't pronounce things right. He skipped off and went to ask his friends for help.

He first went to Piglet's. Just the thought of Piglet's little porkhole make Pooh splooge a little, but he couldn't think about that right now. He had to address the cramp in his ass. "Piglet, ohh Piglet," He knocked on the door. He noticed it was unlocked and went inside, only to find a gang of heffalumps rolepaying Deliverance with Piglet.

"Yeeeeah boi squeal boy, squeal like a pig WHEEE WHEEEEE!" they fucked him so hard his guts spilled out. The heffalumps all got swine flu and died. Pooh finished jerking off to the sight and walked off.

He made his way to Rabbit's house, but before he could knock on the door, Rabbit answered wearing only a G-String and titty tassels, "Hey there big boy, I've been waiting on you," and Pooh was going to say he was saving himself for his weekly fuck with Christopher Robin but Rabbit pulled him in for some fun times.

A few hours after lifting Pooh's massive fupa, Rabbit was laying in bed with a cigarette in his mouth. Pooh woke up minutes later, "Rabbit you ass-pirate, I knew that honey you gave me was roofied!" "Pooh I already told you it was my special honey flavor enhancer, you mongoloid," "Oooh yeah, I forgot," Pooh said in his Jim Cummings accent.

Just then, Tigger burst in wearing a dominatrix suit, "RABBIE HONEY WHO'S READY FOR BIG DADDY?" Tigger looked at the sight before him, "Rabbit you fucking whore, I leave for two minutes and you're already fucking every guy in the forest," Tigger bawled, then Rabbit got up, "Well why not, you're not man enough for this ass,"

"I'm more than enough man for you, you green buttplug," "OH YEAH, THAT'S NOT WHAT EEYORE SAID!" Tigger pulled down his pants "Ohh THATS IT! I'M GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT A TRUE MAN IS!" Rabbit raised his fists, "Bring it on, man-tits!"

Then they both hatefucked and died. Pooh disappointingly walked out but not before stealing some of Rabbit's sex toys.

He ended up at Eeyore's house, went in and saw Eeyore in his bathtub with his wrists cut and Simple Plan music blaring out. Pooh ran out of the stick house and was about to go to Owl but remembered Owl was getting assraped in prison for killing Roo and Kanga because Roo rejected his pedo ass.

Pooh could still remember what Owl said as he killed them, "Roo you little slut if I can't have you then nobody can!"

His reminiscing was interruped by a more painful cramp in his tush. Pooh bellowed to the sky, "IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ASS?!" Christopher Robin popped out of nowhere, the little creep.

"Pooh you retard, you just have to take a shit," He said. "Ahh, that's what I forgot to do!" Pooh said, as he then bent over, clenched his fists, and a fucking GEYSER of goopy poopy shit shot out of his anus. He shat so much he flooded the hundred acre wood and everyone died.

THE END