A/N: An attempt at humor, and maybe it borders on crack-ish. Not my best work, because I am not funny. But I took a shot, so let me know whether I hit the target.

"Damn it," Yzak cursed under his breath. He didn't have the energy to let his foot loose on the table leg. He didn't have the patience to wait for a human target to wander in and volunteer for a verbal lashing. The back of his eyes throbbed. His knees were weak. He didn't have time to take a hot shower. He couldn't even muster the liveliness to curse again. No, Yzak Joule was far too tired for any of those things.

He shouldn't have collapsed onto his bed and started thinking, for the love of ZAFT. He ought to be acting, damn it – because taking action was what Yzak Joule was good at.

Yzak closed his eyes and pressed his fingers over his lids until he saw colors and shapes forming in his vision. The pressure felt good, and it drew his mind away from his responsibilities and his failures. Especially his failures. He usually made sure he never failed, but sometimes… Sometimes certain blonde haired idiots got in his way, and not even weeks of punishing himself could make up for it.

Right on cue, Dearka Elsman located him.

"Didn't know you were in here," the blonde said, tossing a casual glance at the silver-haired male when he burst through the door. "The Commander was looking for you."

"Damn the Commander to hell," Yzak responded, fingers still glued to his eyelids. He heard a snort, and in a flash he'd reopened his eyes and smothered Dearka with a murderous glare.

"Don't give me that look, Yzak," the blonde said, reading the pale youth without even trying. "There's no way you can pin this one on me too."

"Yes there is." And something inside Yzak snapped. The energy that had fled him earlier returned. It flared up in his icy eyes, it balled his hands into fists and curled his lips in a silent snarl. It made his headache worse, but he ignored it.

Dearka took a conscious step back. "Y-Yzak…"

"Idiot," the silver head shouted, "The only reason I missed the target was because of you, and you know it!"

The blonde lifted his palms in a sign of peace and spoke slowly. "You missed and hit a crewmember, Yzak."

"He wasn't hurt! It grazed his arm!" God damn it, was it his fault they'd gone out into space after the legged ship? Was it his fault that they'd had to do target training inside the cramped bowels of the Vesalius, where stray bullets could hit crewmembers? Yzak seethed and Dearka raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me again how this is my fault?" The blonde seemed to consider. "Wait – did you even tell me in the first place?"

Yzak Joule did not answer. He fought the blush that threatened his cheeks with every ounce of strength he had.

Dearka was still talking. "Come to think of it, all I can remember is you muttering something and storming out. Don't you usually make sure I know how much of an idiotic mistake I made before you blatantly lay blame on me?"

Yzak bit hard on his tongue. That grin was meant to bait him. That tone was supposed to rile him up.

"It must be something you don't wanna talk about, since you're willing to give up a chance at belittling me."

Yzak flinched inwardly. He fixed the blonde with a passive glare. "Shut up, Dearka."

"Tell me what I did."

"No."

"It must be good. I wanna hear it."

"No."

Dearka's grin widened. "Why'd you choke and miss the target?" he tried again.

"I told you to shut up."

"You're blushing."

"I'm going to rip your lungs out, Elsman."

The blonde clamped his mouth shut, but the smirk didn't leave his features. He spun on his heel and made for the door. Yzak watched him place a hand on the doorknob. Dearka was halfway out when he turned back and winked.

"You know, if you don't correct my mistakes, I run the risk of making them over again."

"ARRGH!"

Yzak tore at his fine silver hair. Dearka had beaten him. The blonde knew it, and he stepped calmly back inside and shut the door.

"Get over here, you bastard," the pale boy demanded. Dearka came. Yzak glanced over his teammate's shoulder to be sure the door was tightly closed before he dared reveal the weakness that had plagued him since the incident. Then he seized Dearka's collar.

"I'm waiting," grinned the source of all his agony as he dismissed the death hold Yzak had on his clothing. "You missed because why?"

And Yzak Joule decided that he couldn't take the mocking glint in those eyes. The blonde already knew, and it was clear he found it quite amusing.

Yzak shoved past Dearka in a rage and made for the exit, but not before delivering the last word with all the venom he could manage.

"Why?" he echoed furiously. "Because you decided halfway through target practice that you were going to train shirtless!"

Dearka's hysterical laughter followed him out the door.

A/N: A n y w a y ... TODAY IS LACUS CLYNE'S BIRTHDAY! (February 5th) She's my favorite female character, and I'd love to write her a tribute, but there were no hopping plot bunnies I could harvest for a fanfic stew. Apologies. I've celebrated the pink princess here, at least. I may lure in an idea yet, though. Where are those carrots...