The Path to a New Beginning
Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless
It was the breaking of a new dawn; rubbing his eyes Ritsuka yawned and drowsily staggered out of bed. Looking into a mirror he Gently moved the curtain of silky black hair from over his eye, revealing to himself the outcome of his mothers outburst from night before last; His right eye throbbed with agonizing pain, it was purple and hideously swollen, he felt pitiful; how embarrassing it was that a boy's own mother would beat him up, but what was he to do hit her back? He loved his mother and he didn't want to hurt her; he already had a hard enough time trying to prove to her that he too was her son and just thinking of her reaction if he was ever to hit her back sent chills down his spine.
Replacing the curtains of hair back over his eye he thought about all of the attention that this would cause, such nonsense, it aggravated him at the thought of everyone staring at his eye instead of minding their own business; he thought about Soubi's last words as he climbed out his window that night…
"You shouldn't have to deal with that Ritsuka; this shouldn't be the life that was chosen for you…."
"I love you Ritsuka."
How can anyone love me,thought Ritsuka to himself, as he moved the hair back over his eyes,
For I am loveless; one without love. Ever since I found out that Seimei didn't actually die, ever since I uncovered the secrets to his betrayal it seems that Soubi and I are even closer than we were before… We need each other, without one another I don't know how we could survive, it's sort of scary how close we've gotten; two wounded soldiers bound together by the twisted binds of betrayal and lies. Seimei, how dare he do this to us... The people that loved you, the people that you supposedly loved back... How could you betray me, betray Soubi? are you really such a hideous monster? Where are you hiding now? I wish I could find you and tell you how I really feel.
It has been four years since twelve year old Ritsuka first became entwined with the life of a fighter unit and his sacrifice, the bonds of everlasting unity to one person; since then there has been many things become certain; first that Seimei is alive and in hiding, second that he wishes Ritsuka dead, and third, that both Ritsuka and Soubi need each other more than they ever needed anyone before; even if neither one would really admit to it.
Do I really want to live the life of a sacrifice? What about Seimei he lived for that life and look how he turned out; a deranged liar, a psychotic hypocrit. He betrayed me, he hurt me, but most of all he hurt Soubi….
"I'll see you later mom," Said Ritsuka as he gently slid his arms through the sleeves of his uniform jacket.
As the door closed behind him he heard glass shatter, enraged screaming, the mournful cries of his dear deranged mother....
She 's been mad; cruel since Seimei last visited her … Poisoning her mind against me, feeding her lie after lie; telling her how I am not the little boy that she loved and cared for as a baby. Why did mother always love and choose Seimei over me? Why can't I make her happy? Why does she have to hurt me in order to love me, or does she even love me at all? Can you love something that you don't remember?
Yoji and Natsuo wait at the end of the sidewalk for Ritsuka; outcasts, rejects, The three of them have been going to the same high school together since the day that Zero was prohibited; a long lost research of artificial fighter units and their sacrifices no longer applied to the rules, a practice completely annihilated two years ago.
"What took you so long?" Yelled Yoji impatiently.
"Nothing… I was just got up late that's all."
"Well you should try to be on time a lot more you know punctuality is a –"
Natsuo gripped Yoji's arm stopping him in mid-sentence…
"Youji wait…"
Natsuo walked up to Ritsuka, leaning right into his face he removed the hair from the dark wound.
"What in the hell is that!!!" Yelled Yoji.
"It's nothing don't worry about it, let's go."
"Well hold on a minute aren't you going to tell us what happened to your eye?"
"No and I don't plan on it, just leave it alone." He swiftly quickened his pace.
Yoji and Natsuo both looked at each other shrugged then continued walking.
Suddenly Ritsuka's phone started buzzing in his pocket; he took out the brand new blue flip phone that he had gotten from Soubi for Christmas; a replacement for the original one that had been dropped in a lake that Soubi and Ritsuka had visited last summer; even though they didn't really need it anymore, ever since Soubi became Lovelesse's Fighter unit, since they became one life, one body, one mind.
Yuiko's name came up as the caller ID. Since Yuiko moved two years ago Ritsuka didn't really get to see her that much anymore. Her dad had gotten a new job at a local business company in Nagoya and they moved just before she could graduate from middle school. She often called to check up on him at the beginning but it seemed that as time went on it just became too much of a hassle to try and get a hold of each other, and up until now her very existence seemed as though she had just faded away...
"Hello?"Answered Ritsuka.
"Ritsuka, its Yuiko."
"Hey Yuiko how are you,"
"I'm good… So are you excited for your first day of your sophomore year of high school?"
"No, not really."
"Well I just wanted you to know that during the next break I'm going to come and visit you and your mother if you don't mind…"
"You're already thinking about break already? It's only the first day of school. "
"Well might as well I've really missed you, we didn't get to spend any time together this summer or before I moved so I figured I'd visit sometime during winter break."
What if Yuiko really did come to visit mom and I, would mom hurt her too; and my life as a sacrifice, would she try and get in the way of my nightly spell battles? Thought Ritsuka staring down at the ground.
" Sorry Yuiko but I don't think that's such a good idea…." replied Ritsuka dismally.
"Aah, why not, doesn't Ritsuka want to see Yuiko anymore?"
"It's not that Yuiko it's just, it's complicated."
"Well Yuiko will see, well I'll talk to you later bye."
The line went dead before Ritsuka could reply.
"Come on Rituska catch up already, we're going to be late!"
School seemed to go by as usual, Nothing out of the ordinary- meeting up with old friends, new friends, more work and less time to himself, the day was busy but no more than his secret life.
Since the reappearance of his brother Ritsuka and Soubi have met many new fiends; teams that have tried to eliminate them from Seimei's new twisted game. At the first reappearance of Seimei Ritsuka's life went from strange to stranger; his life evolved into a game of chess, unpredictable and strategic, the main goal; getting into Seimei's mind and predicting his next move before him or his new fighter unit could react. Opponents began reaching out of the shadows, teams summoned by his notorious brother to help destroy the bond slowly forming between Ritsuka and Soubi; but no matter how hard it got, whoever the opponent it didn't matter anymore for Ritsuka was no longer an amateur, he has become strong, cunning, a very smart but caring sacrifice. Getting stronger all seemed so simple, the longer the battles the stronger that the two of them became… He learned to command, how to call his fighter unit, how to deal with the life that has been chosen for him and together with Soubi they are powerful ; they are Loveless….
The school bell rang; Ritsuka's gently rose from his seat, placing all of his books in his bag he walked casually out of the room… He walked quietly, his head hung down, lost in a sea of thoughts…
"Where are you going?" Asked Natsuo.
There was no reply; Ritsuka walked right past him…
Outside the gates of the school Soubi silently waited for Ritsuka, stomping out a lit cigarette together the two walked in silence to their favorite place in the world, their place… Their park. Finally Soubi asked,
"So how was school?"
"It was normal." Replied Ritsuka…
"How is your eye?"
"It's fine…"
"Let me take a look," Said Soubi as the two of them finally reached the small park table.
"NO, it's nothing; you have no reason to look."
"Just let me see." Insisted Soubi, pulling Ritsuka onto his lap he gently uncovered eye; the swelling had gone down a bit but the bruising had darkened.
"Hmm… That looks terrible."
Ritsuka jerked away from Soubi replacing the hair back in front of his eye…
"Why does everyone have to make such a big deal out of a bruise, I said that it was nothing and everyone should just leave it at that!"
"Why does everyone, gah…." He said as the tears from last night's incident finally slid down the side of his face…
"I don't want people to see, I don't want them to see my pain, I don't want them to feel sorry for me, I just… I don't know…"
"Ritsuka…."
"What?"He sighed.
"I love you Ritsuka, I don't want to see you hurt anymore…"
"There's nothing I can do, she won't stop; she loves him; that jerk, that liar, more than she loves me… She would rather beat me than love me… Why can't she just accept me???"
"Because there is no accepting loveless…." Replied Soubi coldly.
"How dare," he stopped…. Sat there for a minute in complete silence, tears draining from his eyes.
"Soubi, why can't I be loved, how could someone bestow upon me such a vile future?"
"Because, the future is unpredictable, time knew that eventually we would find each other, that we could overcome anything, people can not decide destiny."
Soubi pulled Ritsuka's head into his chest, gently cradling him in his arms…
"Time knew that eventually we would find each other and you wouldn't be left alone in his world…."explained Soubi.
"Soubi…. I, I've been thinking… What if... What if I asked to move in with you… What would you say?"
"I wouldn't mind as much but I don't think that Kio would like it that much."
"But I practically live at your house anyways; I mean do you really think that he would mind?"
"NO… But It doesn't matter what he thinks. You can move in with me if that is your desire…"
The next couple of months went on more swiftly than usual… It was unbearable moving out of the house. Seeing the agony on his mother's face upset Ritsuka more than Seimei's betrayal, but even more it made him despise Seimei, that monster, that wretch.
Maybe she does love me after all, he thought, she just doesn't know how to show it.... He hurt mother as well... Why couldn't he stay, why couldn't he protect me from her, why couldn't he protect her from herself?
"Finally, I'm completely moved in." Said Ritsuka plopping down on the couch.
"You still plan on going to school don't you?" Asked Kio Irritatedly…
"Yes."
"I still don't understand why Soubi let you move in with us… "
"Because Kio, He belongs here just as much as you do…" replied Soubi as he entered the room.
"And anyways, it's almost time for them to go on break and we want to spend a little more time together then we did the last summer…"
"We do?"
"Well of course, the fair is coming up and I thought that you might want to go…"
"I don't know I guess I'll think about it…"
"Gah…"Said Kio as he stomped out of the room.
"I think that Yuiko is going to come and visit me during winter break…"
"Oh really, I haven't heard you talk about her in awhile, how is she doing?"
"Good I guess, I haven't really talked to her a lot lately, but the other day when she called she wanted to come and visit my mom and I, but I didn't have the courage to tell her that my mom is a psychotic maniac and I fear for her safety if she was ever to come over and actually spend a couple of days with me while I was still under my mother's roof."
"Well how long do you think that she will stay with us?"
"You mean you would let her come visit?"
"If that is what you wish..." Replied Soubi
"I don't know not that long I guess, I was hoping that she wouldn't really come at all, It's not that I don't want to see her, its that I don't want her life to become entwined with our secret life…"
"You don't want her to get hurt?"
"Well of course I don't want her to get hurt!"
"No, your misunderstand my meaning, what I meant to say was, you don't want her here with you because you're afraid that she'll get hurt when in fact here would be the safest place for her to be…"
"You really think so."
"Yes…. She would be safer here with you rather than alone without anyone who can protect her."
"Maybe I should invite her to come down and visit."
"If you want to, but for now I think that it's time that you and I spend a little time together." He said as he tugged Ritsuka close to his face and kissed him passionately on the lips.
Maybe you really can love me.... Thought Ritskua.
"Ugh, cut it out!"Yelled Ritsuka as he tried to squirm out of Soubi's tight grasp.
"Ha-ha, sorry…" Laughed Soubi as he finally released him back into a sitting position.
"Now that I'm going to be living with you Soubi I don't want you trying to take advantage of me..."
"I'll be good, I promise..."Smiled Soubi playfully.