"The files you requested my Lord."
Kanon gave a short bow as he handed over the manila coloured file to the blonde haired prince. His dusty hair fell across his eyes and allowing him to observe Shneizel's reaction as he flipped through the folder. A slow smile spread across Shneizel's face, leaving his cheek on his hand and closing the file gently.
"So my dear brother is dead it seams and at the hands of a terrorist called Zero," Schneizel said quietly, closing the folder. He drummed his fingers lightly on the paper folder and looked up at Kanon, "I think we should take a trip to Area 11. Arrange it would you?"
"Yes my Lord," Kanon gave another bow and turned to leave.
"Oh and Kanon," Schneizel pushed himself into a seating position and linked his fingers in his lap.
Kanon stopped and turned to look over his shoulder, "Yes my Lord?"
Schneizel smiled softly, "Well done."
Kanon felt the heat rising in his cheeks. He bowed quickly and left to organise his majesties personal jet for the trans-pacific flight to the country once known as Japan.
--- Area 11 ---
The sky above was dark and the light from the moon that spilled through the holes in the roof didn't help. Suzaku stood in his prison clothes looking up at the man called Zero who stood on the wreckages of the first floor. Suzaku couldn't see his eyes so could only assume from the tilt of the mask that Zero was looking him in the face. He held that invisible gaze with a heavy heart as the purple and black of Zero's outfit reminded him of his friend Lelouche. Lloyd had told him that his friend's name had not appeared on the death toll of those counted in Shinjuku while he was imprisoned but that hadn't put him to rest. And what of Nunnally? How would she cope? Was she even alive? He hadn't had a chance to ask.
"It looks like they treated you rather roughly private Kurugi," Zero said calmly, snapping Suzaku out of his reverie. "Britannia is rotten, if you wish to bring change to this world, then join me!"
"Are you really the one who killed prince Clovis?" Suzaku demanded.
"This is war," was Zero's reply, "why wouldn't I kill an enemy commander?"
"And the gas?" Suzaku continued, still fixing his gaze on that impenetrable mask, "Those were civilians!"
"A bluff to help things along," Zero explained and Suzaku was momentarily taken aback. A bluff? Then what had that container been? Come to think of it, he'd seen it before. Yes during the Shinjuku incident it had been inside the truck, the girl, Lelouche!
"Then what was in that container?" Suzaku asked his previously detached tone breaking and a slight hint of desperation leaking in.
"Nothing."
"But," Suzaku stopped. If it hadn't been poison gas and there hadn't been anything in that container then why had the military been so set on getting it back? Was the poison gas a lie? A cover up or maybe it was just a way to justify the massacre that had happened in Shinjuku. Either way, it had cost him his friend and almost his own life. But that was worthless.
"Join me," Zero requested but it sounded more like a statement to Suzaku's ears.
Suzaku thought of Lloyd and Cecile then Lelouche and then Nunnally. Of the small, frail girl whose legs were thin and weak from disuse. Whose eyes he had never seen and who would never look on her brother again even if she recovered. "I..."
"We will bring down Britannia and rebuild a new nation, a nation that will look towards the future!" Zero declared, jumping down from the first level and making his way like a prowling cat down a pile of rubble from the collapse of the second floor to stand before Suzaku.
Suzaku swallowed hard. "I don't know," he looked away, "my court martial begins in an hour. I have to leave."
"You'll be killed!" Zero exclaimed reaching out to grab Suzaku's wrist, "the prosecution, the defence, the judge! All of them are already bought against you!"
"And if I run now then what sort of example would that set for other honorary Britannians? They'll declare me guilty despite your dramatic admission and it will only strengthen their excuse for prejudice! With Clovis gone aristocrats like Jeremiah Gottwald will revoke the honorary system all together!" Suzaku responded hotly wrenching his wrist free and beginning to stride towards the remains of the exit.
"Go then but we're not finished Suzaku Kurugi."
Suzaku said nothing and left.
---3 days later---
Suzaku listened to the news on the radio as Cecil drove him to his new school. After being mysteriously acquitted at his court martial he'd been enrolled into the local Ashford Academy. Lloyd had been disappointed, preferring to run endless trials on him and the Lancelot. As he'd thought, the Japanese were being blamed for Shinjuku and the poison gas was being used as their excuse. Suzaku frowned and turned to look out the window.
"Are you excited about today?" Cecile asked gently glancing at him a couple of times. Suzaku didn't look at her. He shrugged and Cecile's shoulders slumped. She'd been glad when Suzaku was acquitted and he'd returned to the special core but he hadn't been the same. She'd heard him muttering names in his sleep and Lloyd had told her he had asked him to check the death lists for a friend's name but no matches. But there had been hundreds of death in Shinjuku and there was no way to count them all. She saw Suzaku's fist clench on his thigh and winced, he'd barely spoken in the last couple of days and she didn't think Ashford had been the most logical choice either. As an honorary Britannian to most that would still classify Suzaku as an eleven, a mere number. And to Ashford's students, the children of the nobles of Britannia, Suzaku would be an easy target. It was almost like sending him before a firing squad and not for the first time she wondered if this was a way of punishing Suzaku.
"Well, here we are," she said cheerily, determined to wish him well on his way. Suzaku looked at her and gave her a half-smile with a nod of thanks before getting out and striding through the golden gates, bag under his arm, without a backward glance.
Cecile watched until he was out of site and waiting a good time after before driving back to the lab.
---Ashford Academy student council room---
Rivalz slumped in his chair and tried not to look at Shirley. The orange haired girl's eyes, cheeks and nose were red, tears streamed down her face and she clung to the front of Milly's jacket and sobbed into the blonde's shoulder. The usually excitable Madame President was subdued and quiet and merely rubbed Shirley's back comfortingly. Nina was typing silently on her laptop but with much less vigour than her usual self.
Rivalz fists and jaw clenched, the muscles in his face tightening. It should be like this, Lelouche should be here, Shirley's cheeks should be red from blushing after nearly being caught sneaking glances at Lelouche. Milly should be twirling about making Nina blush with her outrages comments and he shoulder be watching her. But Lelouche would never return. Shirley had had a call from him about Shinjuku, the next day Shinjuku was on the news destroyed and Lelouche had not been home that night. Nor any of the nights that followed.
Nunnally wouldn't come out of her room.
Rivalz slammed his fist on the desk and stormed out, ignoring the startled cries behind him he barely saw where he was going until he collided with something solid and fell back. A hand caught his wrist and steadied him before he lost his balance. He looked up to see a boy with curly brown hair and green eyes, "Who're you?" Rivalz asked on instinct not having seen this stranger around campus before.
"My name is Suzaku Kurugi I-"
"Wait you're the one that was accused of assassinating Prince Clovis," Rivalz face contorted. This boy, this traitor, this eleven had been allowed to live but not his best friend? Where was Lelouche!
Suzaku looked down, he'd endured whispers, taunts and not just a few pranks today and he hadn't been in a good mood to begin with. Hardening his expression he shouldered roughly past the blue haired boy he'd nearly knocked down and walked into the room he'd been directed to. The student council club room.
He knocked on the open door, "Excuse me."
Milly looked up and blinked, Shirley had reduced herself to quiet sobs and buried her head in her arms on the table when Rivalz had stormed out. She hadn't attempt to call after him, what could she say? The boy had just lost his best friend and unshed tears stung her own eyes for the loss of Lelouche. "Um...yes," she said, pushing herself from her chair into a standing position. Her knees clicked and she swallowed to compose herself.
"My name is Suzaku Kurugi, "I'd like to apply to join the student council." Suzaku looked around, a girl with green hair was at a lap top and had jolted when she heard his name but had not turned around. In fact, her typing had gotten more erratic. Another girl, with orange hair, was hunched over the table, shoulders shaking didn't acknowledge him and a blonde, who had obviously been in the process of comforting her fellow council member, had stood up to face him.
"Is this a bad time?" Suzaku asked mustering up all the worry in his tone that he could spare.
The blonde girl's shoulders slumped and she sighed, "Someone we knew, was lost in Shinjuku."
Suzaku's heart gave a jolt. Lost in Shinjuku? But these were the heirs to the aristocrats, what would anyone they knew be doing in Shinjuku? Were they pilots or members of the guard? "Who?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.
"His name was Lelouche Lamperouge," the blonde replied, her tone dismal.
Suzaku's eyes widened, "Le-lelouche," he repeated in disbelief.
"You knew him?" the blonde asked cocking her head to the side, "wait, Suzaku Kurugi, you were in Shinjuku," she pointed a finger at him but the orange haired girl got there first.
Standing so fast her chair fell over Shirley flung herself towards Suzaku, "Did you see Lulu? Do you know where he is? Is he alright?!" She gripped the front of his jacket, amber eyes searching his emerald ones frantically.
Suzaku looked down at this girl, so distraught and didn't see orange hair and yellow eyes but brown hair and tightly closed eyes leaking tears of pain. He looked away, "I'm sorry," he murmured.
Milly moved forward to support Shirley as the other girl's knees buckled and she collapsed sobbing in Milly's arms. Suzaku stepped away then looked up at Milly, "Excuse me but...was there a girl...Lelouche's sister...Nunnally?"
Milly froze, her grip on Shirley tightening. This boy, who seemed to have prior knowledge of Lelouche and even Nunnally, had he discovered their identity? Was Nunnally in danger? She'd promised Lelouche long ago to look after her if he couldn't but she didn't know how to respond to this boy. If she told him no and he asked anyone else in the school any of them could tell them of Lelouche's disabled younger sister in the lower years. Then he'd know she was lying and if he wasn't already suspicious of her then her lying would confirm his suspicions. If he thought Nunnally was a threat then her lying would make it seem like Nunnally had something to hide.
"Uh...yes," Milly replied, biting her lip and swallowing hard, hoping she wouldn't regret this, "she lives... she lives on campus."
Suzaku nodded, "Could you take me to her?"
Milly gave a small inclination of her head of the affirmative and Suzaku, taking the hint, walked out and waited outside the closed door as Milly calmed Shirley. A few minutes later Milly stepped out shutting the door behind her and gesturing for Suzaku to follow. Suzaku did so.
"How did you know Lulu?" Milly asked quietly, her voice hitching at the pet name.
"We were friends once a long time ago," Suzaku replied shifting his bag.
Milly didn't ask any further questions.
Sayoko answered the door and took Suzaku to Nunnally's door, Milly left to return to the council room.
"I'm afraid she won't come out," Sayoko said quietly, "the young mistress hasn't left her bed in days. Maybe an old friend will cheer her up." With that the maid opened the door and Suzaku stepped through.
Her hair was longer than he remembered and she was taller too. Sat up in bed, propped up only by the pile of pillows behind her, her hands lay limply in her lap. Tangled curls and waves of pale brown hair spilled around her and there were streaks on her cheeks from her tears. Suzaku stepped forward and she jolted but otherwise did nothing to acknowledge the new presence in the room.
"Miss Nunnally," Sayoko said gently from here she waited in the doorway, " you have a visitor."
Nunnally didn't respond.
Suzaku felt routed to the spot, part of him didn't want to go any further. Didn't want to touch her or comfort her or acknowledge that his friend and her brother was gone, that he'd failed yet another. Then there was the other part that remembered those days when they were children, walking carrying her, sitting her between him and Lelouche, inventing games for her to play, anything to see her smile. The part that longed to make her smile even now, the part that couldn't bear to see her lying limp and broken like a discarded doll, he stepped forward.
Sitting on the edge of the bed he saw her flinch and tense up. He reached for her hand. She drew it away sharply at the slightest touch. She screamed.
"Get away! Where is Nii-san? Where is he? Get away!"
Sayoko rushed forward to calm her, shooing Suzaku away from the bed as Nunnally shook and struggled in her arms. Suzaku stumbled back and could only watch.
He swallowed and clenched his fists at his sides, no, he wouldn't give up, he couldn't; he had to protect Nunnally for Lelouche. "Nunnally," he ventured quietly.
Nunnally stilled at the sound of his voice and Sayoko tentatively released her.
"Suzaku?" Nunnally asked; her voice hoarse from crying.
"It's me."
"Suzaku," her breath hitched and she reached out a trembling hand. Sayoko stepped away.
Walking forward Suzaku took her hand in both of his, sitting beside her.
"Suzaku, Nii-san....he....he's..."
"Ssh, I know," he reached forward and stroked her hair with one hand. She moved towards him curling around him and resting her head in his lap. He felt her shaking and embraced her with one arm as her hands gripped his other. Sayoko excused herself quietly and Suzaku rubbed Nunnally's back until she fell silent.
"Nunnally, you can't stay in here," he ventured after seemingly endless moments of silence.
She shook her head in denial and he knew what she must be thinking. If she went outside there would be no warm presence, nor comforting voice or familiar touch of her brother to great her. And in so being it would only hammer home the point that she would never feel those things again. For a girl that had lost so much already, to be torn from the last face she remembered must be heartbreaking. Still, shut away in a room, living in denial of reality and never quite able to escape it and without any method of ultimate relief, disabled as she was would be even more so.
"You must," he continued, "Lelouche wouldn't want you to be like this. He'd want you to live Nunnally. That's all he ever wanted."
Not for the first time since his court martial Suzaku found himself thinking of Zero. Killing without mercy, without discrimination was wrong, but at least Zero had limited it to the side he opposed. Whereas the Britannian army, the very organisation he had fought so hard to enter, had no doubt shot Lelouche and covered it up as just another nameless number, hiding behind the poison gas as a way of disposing any that got in their way. Shredding the peaceful lives of loved ones all over the once proud nation of Japan and not even Nunnally had been safe. He couldn't bare it.
"Suzaku," he looked up as Nunnally sat up, sitting beside him, her hip touching his, but her facing him. One hand held his in his lap and the other reached up to cradle his face and gently brushing away the tears he didn't know where there with her thumb. Soft and warm she was, not even a callus on her hand. Not like his, rough and worn and weathered. "My mother told me once, that a warm touch was the best cure for tears."
Suzaku was almost prepared to laugh. Here she had lain in despair and now she found the courage to comfort him in her hour of need. Doing for him what he was trying to do for her. And she'd said those words to him before, so long ago in their child hood, when the devastation that surrounded him had almost been too much to bear. Yet she, who could neither see nor walk, who by all rights should see the world as dark and without hope, still reached out to him with that flickering ray of light that was her candle to his darkness.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and hers went around his neck and together like that they stayed. They neither spoke nor cried for there was nothing of one and too much of the other.
Sayoko knocked on the door and the pair of them jumped, Nunnally shifted back to lie against the pillows, a gently but lively flush to her cheeks. Suzaku shot to his feet as the woman opened the door and entered baring a tray of tea and cakes. She set it down on the bed and excused herself but paused at the door. "It's good to see you looking a little better miss Nunnally," and with that she left.
Suzaku pulled up a nearby chair to sit by the bed and served Nunnally her portion. He set some of the cake on a fork for her and wiped away the crumbs that gathered at the corner of her mouth. The two talked, about the past, about their time apart and about the future. Time passed and soon Nunnally was tired so Suzaku helped her to lie down and held her hand till she fell asleep and waited some time after before he left. Selfishly indulging in her peaceful and relaxed expression and her rhythmic breathing in sleep to sooth his own soul.
He bid Sayoko goodbye as he left and continued to the school gates where Cecile was waiting for him.
He got in, buckled his seat belt without a word and turned once more to look out the window as she started the vehicle. Despite his act of indifference she could tell he wasn't as dismal as that morning and she smiled.