(prologue)

Forget what you think you know about the Winchesters. For years these two men have pretended to be brothers. Everything you think you know is wrong, well maybe not everything.

The start is usually the best place to begin. Sam was born Sam Singer, I know what you're thinking but no Bobby had a brother. Bobby and his brother were never close so when Sam's mother died in a strange house fire and Sam's dad went into an asylum and Sam was sent to live with his mother's family. It was around this time that Bobby also lost his wife, there was no way he was fit to raise a baby.

As a teenage Sam often ran away to Bobby's house. Sam's Aunt May and Uncle Ben couldn't take it anymore everyone was agreed that the best thing for Sam was for him to live with Bobby. And that was how Sam Singer met Dean Winchester. Dean was the son of John Winchester a friend of Bobby's. Sam would soon find out that the same monster that killed his mother Killed Dean's. It would be years later that the pair would find out that the demon got what he wanted from Sam but that John had prevented him getting what he needed from Dean.

A hunter, the first time Sam heard the term he had envisioned injured animals and bird calls, how wrong was he. It made him wonder why Bobby always came back so beaten up?! And no matter how many times he asked Bobby always told him he wasn't allowed to come, he had to concentrate on school. Sam figured Bobby was superstitious he had loads of old book on ghosts and things and always said things like "If the lights flicker make a circle of salt and stand in it" once bobby came home to find a cold, hungry Sam sitting in a salt circle after a light blew.

One day John turned up, he needed help on a hunt but Bobby was in no shape.

"I'll go!" Sam volunteered.

"No Sam!" Bobby shouted as he struggled to his feet while clutching his side.

"Let the boy come. It'll be good for him." John said smiling down at Sam.

"He doesn't know what is getting himself into."

"Come on it's just a bit of onsite research. Be just like a road trip."

"Please Uncle Bobby can I go?"

"No! You'd miss a week of school. Just give me a minute John and I'll go myself." Bobby said dragging himself to the doorway of the hall.

"You're no used to me like this." John said gesturing to Bobby's wounds with his hand.

"Like you said it's a bit of research. I don't need to move quickly for that."

"No but if something comes after you, you would have to be able to run a way!"

"Look I'll ring Rufus and-"

"By the time Rufus gets here the damn thing would be half way to Timbuktu. Besides we could use the kids brains" John said patting Sam's head.

Sam did not like that

"I'll go Bobby, I don't mind, honest. And you can ring school and just tell them I'm sick." Sam suggested.

The two older men stood there staring at each other almost as if it were a staring competition.

No one noticed that Dean stood in the corner holding his breath.

"One scratch John! I mean it."

"You're a good man Bobby." Said John almost running to the car dragging Sam.

"You won't think so if he comes back hurt."

Dean had quickly fallowed Sam and John to the car.

"Hey you're in back." Dean said jostling Sam out of his way.

"Get in kid." John called to Sam from the driver's seat.

Sam climbed into the back and shut the door, it only took him a second to realise that the back seat was full of bags. Some seemed soft like they might be full of clothes but the other bags made clanging noises when they went over a pot hole or speed bump.

0o0o0o0o0o

Two days later

It was the middle of the night and Sam was sitting in the back of the Impala with Dean.

"VVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAMMPPPPIRES." Sam repeated over and over again through his chattering teeth.

"Sam its ok, everything is ok." Sitting in the back with him was Dean who was trying to calm him down.

"VAMPIRES."

"Sam?!"

"VAMPIRES!"

"Sam you have to calm down." Dean couldn't understand why Sam was freaking out, did he really not have any idea what hunting meant?

"You're dad just…" He made a gesture somewhat like he would if he was miming baseball but Dean knew he meant decapitation.

And even thought Sam was freaking out now, Dean had to give him credit Sam didn't run or throw up. Sam had stood his ground even though he was unarmed.

"That's how you kill a Vampire."

"Don't say that word." Sam was still shivering.

"Here." Dean took off his opened tartan/plaid shirt.

As Dean took off his shirt his black t-shirt rode up a little and Sam saw Dean's abs, suddenly it felt like Sam was kicked in the stomach, his heart started to race and he was sweating like mad.

"Are you ok?" he asked as he put the shirt around Sam's shoulders.

Sam could feel himself lean in to Dean as if he was about to tell him a secret. Why was he moving, how was he moving, he wasn't telling himself to, it was like he was watching it happen in slow motion.

Then John shut the boot of the car and Sam jumped.

"Dad, I think there's something wrong with Sam I think he's in shock or something?!"

"Damn it Dean what did I say, I told you, you were both bait for the Vamps so you had to-"

"I know look after Sam, dad I don't know what to do!"

"Put his belt on him Dean, we're talking him home. Put that blanket on him."

Dean did as he was told.

Dean leant against Sam to put on his belt.

This isn't helping Sam thought as he felt Dean's body heat.

"Dude you're covered in blood."

As Dean sat back down blood covered both Dean's arms.

"Dean is it his blood?"

"Sam are you bleeding?"

"No." Sam's voice was awkward and tight.

"You didn't get any in your mouth or eyes or a cut?" John asked Sam.

"No sir."

"I think it's from the Vamp I ganked when I went to save him."

Sam tried to think about anything other than Dean.

Vampires that's what he needed to think about, but that made him shiver more. Well it was better than getting a full blown erection while sitting next to Dean, Sam thought. No it couldn't be because of Dean, it must just be the adrenalin that's a thing right?! He tried to tell himself. This gave Sam a whole other reason for panicking.

It felt like a whole other life time before Sam could make out the scrap yard in the distance.

Come on come on come on, Sam though.

John pulled up to the house and Sam wanted to leap from the car and run inside but he couldn't, he's legs trembled so much.

"John! What the hell is wrong with him?" asked Bobby rushing forward to help Sam to his feet.

"I'm ok." He told Bobby holding up a hand to prevent him from helping Sam up.

Sam didn't want anyone touching him just then. He tried to stand up again but had to lean on the car.

"Why can't he walk?"

"He's just in a bit of shock that's all."

"That's all?!" Bobby shouted.

"Help him into the house if you're that bothered."

"Bothered!"

Sam was still shaking and sweating though the pain in his stomach had gone that was until Dean came around the side of the car to help Sam inside.

"I'm ok Dean." Said Sam as he shuffled around the car. "Don't be an idiot Sam."

Sam let Dean put his arm around Dean's neck. And as John and Bobby fought Dean helped Sam inside.

"I'm sorry about my dad using us as bait." Apologised Dean, as he helped Sam up the stairs.

"It's ok."

"No it's not. I should have stopped him. Told you what you were getting into."

"It's not your fault."

Sam sounded distant. He felt like he was hit by a truck and now it was dragging him down the road.

Dean helped Sam into the bathroom.

From the bathroom the two boys could still hear John and Bobby fighting down stairs.

"You know I can't stand what you're doing to that boy but he's your son. You leave Sam out of it." Came Bobby's voice from the dark outside.

"I can manage from here." Sam lied.

He was sitting on the lid of the toilet and he honestly didn't think he could get himself to the bath even though it was only four feet away.

"I help patch up my dad after a hunt."

Dean could see that Sam was far from alright he just didn't know he was part of the problem.

"Come on!"

Dean said leaning forward to take off the shirt he had given Sam. At once Sam shivered harder.

"Hang on I'll turn on the water."

Dean ran the bath as quick as he could.

"Ok I think that's hot enough."

"Honestly I'm fine." Sam repeated still shivering.

Dean rolled his eyes, bent down and lifted Sam blooded T-shirt.

Sam closed his eyes, think about something else anything else, Vampires not the smell of his hair, and blood not the green colour of his eyes, the sound of metal hitting bone not the sound of his voice. What's happening to me?!

As Dean throw the shirt on the ground his hand brushed against Sam. Sam let out a loud moan.

"Are you hurt?" Dean asked holdings Sam's side so he could look at his sides and back.

"Please, stop." Sam said through gritted teeth.

Dean leaned away from Sam and saw that he had turned red and was sweating worse than ever.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I just found out vampires are real, and that there are really things that go bump in the night."

"It's not just that, you had calmed down in the car. There's something else."

Sam didn't answer.

"Are you ok getting those off yourself?" Dean asked.

Sam grabbed his waist band as if his life depended on it.

"Ok."

"Dean you're nineteen, don't you want something more than this out of your life?"

"Like what?" He asked sitting on the edge of the bath.

"God anything!"

"You mean college."

"So what if I do."

"Look that's your thing mine is hunting and chicks."

Dean pulled out his flip knife and started to absentmindedly twirling it.

Sam wondered how the hell he was going to get rid of Dean, even if he could actually stand up he wouldn't want to.

"Dean get your ass down here."

"So long Sammy, hope you get better."

"Your shirt."

"You keep it." Dean said from the door way.

A few minutes later Bobby came in.

"Do you see why I didn't want you to go with those idgets?" Bobby asked taking his cap off and scratching his head.

Sam nodded.

"I'm sorry Sam, are you ok?" he asked replacing his hat.

"Yeah."

"Come on let's get you cleaned up."

0o0o0oo0o0o0o

Soon Bobby admitted that he couldn't keep hunting and helping other hunters without Sam and at least now he knew the truth.

Sam was relegated to research from the safety of Bobby house.

Though as would eventually happen John Winchester showed up.

He burst in trough the door.

"Where's Bobby?"

"He's out hunting with Rufus."

John put both hands on his head.

"Ok ring him tell him to get back." John barked piecing back and forth.

"He's the other side of the country even if he left now he wouldn't be back till tomorrow."

John became even more distressed.

"What's wrong?"

"Dean, we were meant to meet at our rondevu this morning."

"And there's no way he just got distracted?"

"No, he's never missed a rondevu before I'm very precise about time. 0700, and he knew that."

"Did you wait for him?"

"Of course I did."

Sam was thinking.

"I'll help you look for Dean."

"No, Bobby -"

"Bobby's not here and it's Dean, You don't leave family behind."

Sam called Bobby's phone.

"Hey this is me, you know what to do."

Beep.

"Bobby it's Sam, I'm going with john. Dean is missing and I have to help."

It would turn out that Dean, wanting to impress his father had hunted down a wendigo alone. John had never fought one before but between him and the fifteen year old Sam saved Dean.

(When they got back to Bobby's)

Sam opened the front door, he was supporting Dean who was semi-conscious, it took all of Sam's concentration not to get an erection.

"You did a good job today." Commended John.

Sam put Dean down, gently on the couch.

When he turned around John throw him a beer.

"I don't think Uncle Bobby-"

"You killed your first monster today. That makes you a man and after the day we've had you deserve a beer."

Sam struggled to open it so John pulled the cap off laughing.

"You're not exactly the poster boy for hunting but you really saved our bacon today." He said raising his beer in a cheers sort of way.

The morning sunshine streamed blindingly in trough the sitting room.

Sam had only just taken his first sip of beer when Bobby's car tore into the yard.

Booby flung open the door.

"Where did you go!" He demanded.

"There was a wendigo! John had never come across one before" Sam tried to sound apologetic.

"We would have been dead meat if it weren't for Sammy here."

"You are not welcome here." Bobby said turning on John.

"Come on Bobby, it was Dean! Is there anything you wouldn't do for Sam?"

Bobby didn't answer that.

"You get going." He told john.

John moved towards Dean.

"Without the kid."

"Bobby you don't get to-"

"The hell I don't. Most of his life I've been telling you this ain't the life for him. Now the poor kid was almost some Wendigo's breakfast Barito and you want to drag him off on your next hunt? Do the solo thing for a while; I'll let you know when to come back for him."

John looked at Dean for a moment, Deans face was pail apart from the claw mark which pumped blood and his body was covered in mud.

"Hey give me that!"

Bobby took the beer from Sam, who was secretly glad. Beer didn't seem to agree with him.

"You'll call me, when he's well enough?"

Bobby reluctantly nodded.

"I'm heading to Huston. I'll be back in a week if I don't hear from you before then." John put down his bottle on the press as he walked to the door.

Sam watched Dean sleep.

"Get the blinds will you." Bobby asked as he draped a blanket over Dean.

During that week Sam grew to know Dean a little better, he wasn't so nerves around him.

Dean told Sam all about his hunts, when John came to collect Dean, Sam felt a pit grow in his stomach.

That night at dinner Sam asked about something he had never talked about before.

"Uncle Bobby, how…. How did you know you loved Aunty Karen?"

Bobby had to chough a few times to clear his throat.

"Well I mean. You know the usual way." He got up and put his plate in the sink.

"I've got some work to do in the yard."

Bobby left by the back door.

That night Bobby woke Sam.

"Uncle Bobby?"

"Yeah, look Sammy. I'm not good talking about .. your Aunty Karen. But I was crazy about her."

Sam listened in the dark with only the light from the hallway to show the profile of Bobby. Sam didn't sit up, he didn't turn on the light. He just lay there still, afraid that if he moved he would make Bobby change his mind about what he was saying.

"I remember the first time I saw her, just remembering it takes my breath away. I could never stop my hands from shaking, my heart beat like it wanted out and I'd get this feeling in my stomach. When I'd say good night I'd almost count the seconds 'til I saw her again. It was like I'd only remembered how to breath , then I'd see her again and it started all over again. They day we got married was the happiest day of my life. I hope that helps." Bobby put his hand on Sam's shoulder.

Bobby made to stand up.

"What if.." Started Sam but thought better of it.

"What if?" Repeated Bobby after a long pause.

"What if.. others would think it was wrong?"

"What do you mean wrong?"

"Like …I don't know. If they thought it weren't normal."

Sam began to wish he hadn't started this conversation.

"Don't let anyone tell you that it's wrong to love the person you love no matter what reason they give."

Bobby was curious but he knew that Sam would tell him in his own time.

"Good night Sammy."

Bobby called from the door.

"Night Uncle Bobby."

Like a bad penny only a few weeks later the Winchesters turned up.

From time to time Sam would go with them, and the terrible things he saw didn't seem to matter. The blood and horror wasn't what kept him awake at night it was Dean, thinking about his face, his eyes, his hair, his body and his smell. Sam still had his shirt and kept it under his pillow. One night Sam could no longer deny his feelings at least not to himself. He took hold of his erection and allowed every want and fantasy of Dean to flood his mind.

Things went on like that for years until Sam got into Stanford.

Bobby and John fought over it.

John said that letting Sam go to college was a waste to hunters.

The look on Dean's face when he fallowed John out the door, John had shouted and roared but Dean's look was worse, it told Sam that Dean felt betrayed and angry beyond words. Sam had wanted to stop Dean and tell him how he felt, but he knew the kind of man John Winchester was he might have even killed him right there on Bobby's step but that wasn't what stopped him, yes he felt he loved Dean but he hated hunting and if he was to go to Stanford the next day what was the point? Make Dean as miserable as he was about to be come? No so Stanford it was.

That night was that last night Sam saw Dean for almost four years.