Prussia.
I'm a loser.

I'm a loser
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

I love her. She's perfect. Elizabeth, I mean. Even her name is special to me. We've been friends since forever. That's the problem though. I want her to be mine. I'm tired of being just friends with her. If I tell her and she doesn't feel the same, then our friendship is ruined, isn't it? But if I don't, she'll never know. There's some competition for her too. I'm pretty sure that bastard Roderich has a thing for her. I'll tell her I like her though. I mean, I am Gilbert! I'm cool, I can do this. I'll tell her today. I will. I mean, I'll try..

Of all the love I have won or have lost
there is one love I should never have crossed
She was a girl in a million, my friend
I should have known she would win in the end

''Oi, Elizabeth." She turned around and smiled when she saw me. ''Ah, jó reggelt, Gilbert'' How cute, she greeted me in Hungarian. ''How are you today?''

''Gut. Well, better now that you're here.'' I repiled, winking at her. She punched me gently in the arm. ''You're such a flirt sometimes.'' She said, blushing. ''I know.'' I repiled, pulling her into a quick hug, she seemed slightly surprised but I ignored that.

''I hope we're hanging out tonight, ja?'' She hung her head slightly.

''I'm at Roderich's party tonight.''

I nodded. I forgot about that. ''I'm not going to be there.'' I said, making up an exsuce and shrugging. ''Ludwig wants me to do paperwork or some shit.''

There would be no way I was going to Roderich's house for a stupid party. I hated him. Yeah, we're brothers, we don't have to like each other though, right?

''I see. that's too bad.''

''What kind of party is it?'' I asked, trying to keep converstation.

''Just a house party for Roderich's birthday. I'm going to wear my red dress.'' She giggled. I knew which dress she was going on about, it was her favourite.

''I have to go now.'' She said, pressing a finger to my forehead. ''Are you sure you can't come?''

''Depends I guess. Ludwig might be in a good mood. What time does it start?''

''At nine. I hope you can come.'' She smiled, and started to walk away.
''Wait, Elizabeth-.''
''Hm?''
''..Nothing.''
Shit. I missed the chance to tell her. Well, I could try again tonight.

I'm a loser, and I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser, and I'm not what I appear to be

I stood at the doorstep of my brother's house. I could hear noises inside of people talking and music playing. It sounded like modern music, which is a bit unusual for Roderich. Although they were baggy, my jeans felt really uncormfortable, I wasn't used to wearing them. I prefer jogging bottoms. However, If I was going to tell Elizabeth how I felt, I'd have to make myself look appealing in some way or form.

After about a minute, I knocked on the door. No responce. I tried knocking harder. Still no responce. So I just opened the door and walked in. There were people everywhere sociallising, dancing, getting drunk. Normally, this would appeal to me, and I would be joining in. However, I only wanted to find Elizabeth and tell her that I loved her.

After quite a while, it seemed like I had searched the whole house. I cound't find her, perhaps she never came after all? I ignored the thoughts and grabbed myself a beer. Relaxing on the sofa, and not caring about anything to be honest, I smiled. She probally decided the party was a waste of time and she stayed home.

Untill, of course, I saw her. She was standing at the other end of the room, wearing the red dress which looked stunning on her. She looked perfect. Even more than before. I wanted to tell her, to run up and just shout it. But she was with Roderich. At first, I thought nothing of it. So, I stood up and took a step towards them, pushing past one or two people. I was confident, I felt as if she'd tell me she felt the same. I knew she did.

And they they kissed.

Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown

Right there. In front of everyone. Like they were a couple. Like it was a normal thing. No one else in the room seemed to even care, or not even notice. I felt my eyes begin to weaken. Was I crying? No, of course not. I never cry. My chest felt heavy though, it felt like every cell in my body was trying to push me down. I wanted to fall. To collaspe onto the ground and forget what I just seen. Of course, I wouldn't do that in front of all these people. So, I carried on walking. Walking towards them. Elizabeth and Roderich. They were laughing, joking about. At this point, I felt sick. But I still wanted to see Elizabeth.

''Ah, Gilbert!'' She seemed surprised, and pulled me into a hug. ''I guess Ludwig was in a good mood then!''

I nodded. Then I turned to Roderich. I didn't say anything to him. I just raised my eyebrows as if I was greeting him. He just smiled back at me. I noticed they were holding hands.

''When did you get here?'' She asked, still smiling.

''A while ago. But I'm just leaving.''

''You can't leave!'' She cried, yet somehow still smiling. ''Stay a while.''

''Nein. I have to go back home.'' I smiled. I didn't frown because if I did, then she'd want to know why. I couldn't tell her. Now that I had seen them together.
''I'l see you tomorrow, ja?''

And with that, I walked off into the crowd. I'm not sure if she said something after that. I took a step into the cold air and breathed slowly. My cheek felt wet, I then realised that I did cry. I hope no one saw. But I couldn't excatly stop myself from crying. Slient tears found themselves falling down my face and onto the grass.

My tears are falling like rain from the sky
Is it for her or myself that I cry

I woke up late the next morning. I could tell it was late because Ludwig was knocking on my door. ''Verpiss dich, Bruder'' I called to him, then he stopped. Once I had fully woken up, I checked my phone. Hm, a message.
'Gilz, where where u last night? I need to tell you g8 news. :)'

Of course. My best friend had left me a message. I repiled with :

'I was bored. Lame party! lol Wats the g8 news then?'

While I waited for her to reply, I decided to get dressed. Pulling on a pair of black trousers and a white shirt, I was ready. That certainly didn't take long.

Beep beep.

My phone went off, indicating I had a message. With a sigh, I pulled it off my bed and read it.

'me and roderich r going out ! :) he asked me out last night ! I am so happy lol !'

Just as I'd thought. She was out of my reach. My throat tightened up and once again, I found myself quietly sobbing.

What I have done to deserve such a fate
I realize I have left it too late

I love her. She'll never know that though. Well, not for a while anyway. I don't know why'd she'd pick Roderich. He's an idiot. He's foul, disqusting. Yet, for once, I wish I was him.

I'm a loser, and I lost someone who's near to me
I'm a loser, and I'm not what I appear to be