A/N: Oftentimes, I will laze about, watching about a week's worth of The Young and the Restless in one night, without really thinking much about fan fiction at all. However, seeing the last few weeks of Adam's complex character, I have finally decided to pay homage to my all-time favorite standalone character by writing a drabble. A drabble focused, not on his drama, because I daresay that Y&R has enough already, but more on Adam's inner turmoil, his character, exploring his feelings rather than his actions, providing a possible explanation of what makes Adam so uniquely Adam. Here we go.
It wasn't as if Adam had ever wanted any of this. He had never wanted any of it. At all.
To be shunned, blocked into a corner by his family, to have been forced to lie, blackmail, and cheat. All he wanted was to fit in, that was all. Instead, just as he had always been in school, he had been caught red-handed, holding the bag while the true criminal got away.
It was as if he were trapped in a spinning web, full of lies, deceit, and tactfully spun words that glistened like silk from the spider's mouth, as if he were trapped with no way out, his only hope being the love of the one woman he could never have, the one woman that would never, ever love him.
Sharon.
God, he loved her.
Even as the gun had gone off, as the burning lead pierced his skin, he couldn't help but think how ironic it was that the woman, who held the smoking gun in one hand, while holding his heart in the other, would be the last thing he ever saw. He couldn't take it.
Adam couldn't face that, maybe, just maybe, if chance allowed, his saving grace would be his destruction, that his savior would be his downfall. He wished -prayed- beyond rationality that Sharon would see the truth, and that all of the lies would go away, that she would see how much he truly loved her.
Even if he lied about everything else, there was no lying that his heart was gone, resting dutifully in the hands of the untouchable.
Even as Skye humiliated him, threatened him, he didn't care. All he wanted was Sharon. None of it mattered. If he could convince her, then maybe, just maybe, they could be something. Something to outlast the doubters. Maybe, just maybe, they could have been something worth it all.
Maybe. Could've been.
Those were all in the past. Now was here, right in front of him, and even as Adam tore his eyes from Sharon, turning to Skye, tucking her arm through his, staring politely at the investors, all he could think of was her. Sharon would be his demise, he knew that. One question persistently posed itself, over and over, until it became an old movie reel, the film unending, and the clicking of the old machinery almost became audible in the silence of the nights that followed.
How do you love someone that you can't have?
A/N: Hope it was enjoyable. I loved writing this. I hoped you enjoyed reading it and I hope it wasn't too abstract.