Chapter I

Pain

Tai Yagami set his glass down on the coffee table and slumped back in his chair. It was his third shot of vodka, but he hardly felt it slide down his throat. It did nothing for him, and he knew it. Drowning out pain had never worked in the past, why should it now? He had always thought it a cop out to seek relief from pain like this. But he'd never thought….

"Damn it…."

He rubbed his forehead wearily. How had it all gone so far downhill? He had never thought it would be this way. He had done his best, been the best friend he could, but somehow it had all fallen apart. He reached back to the coffee table, but instead of the shot glass his hand grasped a framed photograph.

Staring back at him were twelve young faces. His own face, and the faces of eleven people that he loved and would die for. His finger traced lovingly across the group. The picture had been taken nearly four years ago, before his college career had begun. He mentally named each one of them as his finger touched on each: Matt, Sora, Joe, T.K., Mimi, Izzy, and his little sister Kari. Then there were the newer digidestined: Davis, Yolie, Ken, and Cody, the youngest member of the group.

A tear pushed its way past his defenses. These were his friends, as close to his heart as family. They had shared times together that few people were fortunate to even imagine. They had lived together, fought together, saved the world together. They were everything to him.

What had happened?

Tai leaned back, wiping the dampness from the corner of his eye, trying to close out more recent memories. Hurtful memories that cut at him like broken glass.

Everything should be so perfect. His seventh semester at the University of Tokyo had just ended, and it had been as fantastic as the first six. Already he had been contacted by numerous political offices offering him enviable positions, effective the moment he graduated at the end of his final semester. His current internship had given him nothing but successes. And as always, his previous record as leader of the Odaiba digidestined weighed heavily in his favor as a future political leader. He stood before a promising, exciting career. Not bad for a young man who had barely made it through his early education. But standing on this brink of success left him with nothing but pain. What was the use?

He was the chosen of Courage. The leader who had guided his group through every danger and brought them back safe and sound. Everything that he had done had been done for his friends and family. It was because he cared so much for them that he had found the courage to risk his life so many times to save them and to face the dark digimon that had threatened everything he held dear. And it was for his friends and family that he had pursued government courses, once peace had come to both the digital and human world. It was his way of making sure that he could better safeguard and protect them.

Tai set the photo back down on the table and reached to refill the shot glass. He had never thought that the very reason for his effort would reject him.

He gulped down the liquor. This time his eyes watered from the alcohol instead of the pain.

"Why?" Tia muttered to himself. He reached for the bottle once more.

Keys scraped in the lock to the apartment's front door, followed by muffled laughter. Tai sighed, looks like he wouldn't be drinking himself into oblivion tonight. He carefully composed himself as the door swung open and his roommates lurched into the room. He stood up and flashed his trademark grin at his two roommates.

"Looks like you two had fun tonight." He remarked nonchalantly.

The taller of the two young men brushed his dark hair out of his eyes and regarded Tai with an unsteady gaze before turning to his blonde companion.

"Did we have fun, Hirisho?"

Hirisho nodded emphatically. "Hell yeah, lot's of fun! You should have been there. So much fun. Helen throws the greatest parties. American girls know how to have a good time."

Kimo continued to paw at his hair as Tai watched them with an amused expression.

"Why don't you ever come man? It must be so boring hanging by yourself, and break just started. Have some fun. Just cause you're a great leader of men doesn't mean you have to stand on your own."

Tai flinched at Kimo's last statement. Stand alone…. He shook his head.

"I had some things to finish. And I wanted to look over some news reports about the digital world, you know, seeing how things are going with the gates being open for anyone with a digivice."

Hirisho grabbed on to Tai's mention of the digital world.

"Hey, ya know that Kimo and I haven't been there yet. You told us that one of these days you'd take us there for a visit. Breaks started and all that, and we got time. How about it? You'll take us there tomorrow?"

Tai frowned. Obviously the two were right. He had offered to take them to the digital world when classes weren't so pressing. But neither of the two were digidestined, and the idea of babysitting them there was less than attractive.

Tai sighed. He did have nothing better to do the next day. And Agumon was already there. He had gone home to visit while Tai was busy with finals. And it would get his mind off….. unpleasant thoughts for a little while.

"All right, we'll go tomorrow. But first, you two need to go to bed. And drink a lot of water first."

Kimo looked indignant.

"What, you think we're drunk?"

Hirisho took a step and tripped over a chair leg, sprawling across the apartment floor.

Tai rolled his eyes.

"Yes. Get in bed. We'll head out first thing in the morning. I can open a gate from my computer here. Gennai uploaded a gate program for me a few months ago."

Hirisho pulled himself off the ground muttering curses.

"Who put that bloody chair in the way?"

Tai turned back to the photo as the other two prepared for bed. His eyes were sad.

"Stand alone…. How did it come to that?"