Number 1: Lori
Rick Grimes had never considered the idea of love, or even what it meant to be truly in love with someone. And for the first 17 years of his life, he didn't think he had to. It was only until he had gotten his first girlfriend that he realized just how hollow a relationship without love could be.
And so now here he is, sitting across the kitchen table from his wife of 10 years, divorce papers between them, trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
He liked Lori well enough in the beginning. They had known each other well before they started going out back in high school. But somewhere between their first kiss, their first time, their first kid, and now, he had to admit he had started to feel out of place. Not just with Lori, but with the place that they had in each other's lives.
"So that's it then?" He couldn't help but flinch at the harshness of her words, but knew that they came from a place of well-deserved hurt. They had hurt each other plenty throughout their time together, but at the end of the day he was the one to finally end it, and he knew that she would never forget that he gave up trying first.
"Rick?" Lori said again, her eyes a mixture of sadness and anger that he didn't want to face. He should have ended it back then, but when she got pregnant, he thought that they could be a family. You can grow to love someone right? But in the end all it did was lead them here, in a place where he could no longer pretend, and she didn't want him to anymore.
When he still didn't answer, she continued, "you know I saw the growing distance between us a long time ago, and I tried."
Rick picked his head up, finally facing her, and replied, "I tried too."
Lori shook her head, looking away from him. "I know you did. But you can't help who you love, and who you don't love." She paused before hesitantly asking, "you did love me once though, right?"
Rick sighed, reaching across the small table to take her hand in his. "Maybe, once. I don't know anymore. I loved you, but maybe I wasn't in love with you. But I promised I will always be there for you and Carl, and that won't change." It was as honest an answer as he could give and she appreciated it.
Lori squeezed his hand in return, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. "It's okay. No, it's not but–" she closed her eyes, sighed, and continued, "I'll be okay. Carl will be okay. You'll be okay."
As they signed the papers, the last thing they would ever do as a couple, Lori smiled and with the smallest voice said, "I hope you find her."
Rick couldn't help but smile back. "I do too."
Written by constablemichonne
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