AN: Set sometime in their 7th year, in the middle of the night.
"Moony! MOONY!" Sirius yelled. "Wormtail! WORMTAIL! GET UP, GET UP, GET UP!"
"What is it, Padfoot?" groaned Remus into his pillow.
"Their dots, Moony!" Sirius shouted, "Their dots are waaay to close together, Moony! Wormtail! Get UP!"
"Whose dots?" mumbled Remus as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.
"And why do we care?" whined Peter.
"Lily and James's dots, that's who!" Sirius cried joyfully.
"And you were watching them?" asked Remus incredulously, "On the map?
"Well duh." Sirius said, rolling his eyes, "Marauder Code."
"Which Marauder Code?" Remus asked, "We have about two dozen."
"Never swim alone?" Wormtail suggested.
"No, that's penguin code." Sirius answered.
"Never trust a bunny?" Wormtail tried again.
"Nope, squirrel code." Sirius replied.
"Don't trust a man in black?"
"Hobbit code."
"Hobbit?"
"Never mind. Keep guessing."
"Fine. Never trust a muggle?"
"Death Eater code."
"Irishmen are always drunk?"
"Stereotype."
"Elves are always out to trick you?"
"Dwarf code."
"Dwarves only want treasure?"
"Elf code."
"Trust no one?"
"Paranoid dictator code."
"Love is the most powerful magic of all?"
"Dumbledore's code."
"Never wash your hair?"
"Snivellus's code."
"Always love Lily Evans, and one day she'll be yours?"
"Prongs's code."
"Pay attention in class?"
"Prefect code."
"Oi!"
"Do your homework?"
"Prefect code 2."
"Always trust your nose?"
"Gandalf's code."
"Who's Gandalf?"
"Muggle thing. Do you honestly not know any Marauder codes?"
"I know them, I'm just forgetful. So which one are you talking about?"
"Always watch each other's back."
"Whatever happened to 'Never use the map for stalking purposes'?" Remus sighed.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "This isn't stalking. It's watching out for James. And now they're heading towards the broom closet near the Charms classroom!"
"Alright, let me see." Remus conceded, summoning the map with a flick of his wand. "Hmm." Remus inspected the map. "They are rather close together, aren't they? Well, what do you suggest we do Padfoot?"
"Find them!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly, pulling a pair of pants on over his boxers.
"Padfoot, this is the third time you've had us chasing after the possibility of their dots being too close." said Remus tiredly, "And we almost got caught last time."
"Third times a charm!" Sirius exclaimed perkily.
Remus rolled his eyes, but proceeded pull on a pair of pants and shirt. "Fine. Let's get this over with."
"YAAY!" Sirius exclaimed, "You coming Wormtail?"
"No." Wormtail moaned, pulling the covers over his head. "I think I've got a cold coming on."
"Fine then," muttered Sirius, pulling out his wand, "Miss out on all the fun. Lumos." His wand lit up, and with the map in hand, he lead the way out of the dorm.
Remus and Sirius reached the Common Room, and spotted Lily's two best friends, Alice Prewett and Mary Macdonald studying on one of the couches.
"What are you boys up to?" asked Alice, setting down her text book.
"Just a little reconnaissance mission." answered Sirius mischievously.
"Hardly." muttered Remus, "More like an 'Investigate Sirius's paranoid assumption' mission."
"What sort of paranoid assumption?" Mary questioned.
Sirius held up the map. "James and Lily's dots are very close together." He said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Is that the Marauder's Map?" asked Alice excitedly.
"Why yes it is." Sirius told her proudly.
"How do you know about it?" Remus asked her slowly.
"Lily told us about it." Mary answered simply, "She says James goes on and on about your adventures on patrol."
"She actually listens to what he says?" Remus enquired, utterly amazed.
"We were surprised too." Alice said smiling.
"Well, you wanna come?" asked Sirius.
"How are we going to not be seen?" asked Mary carefully.
"Erm..." Sirius thought for a moment. "Yeah Moony, how were we not going to be seen?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Disillusionment charm."
"Oh. Right, that'd be pretty simple." said Sirius thoughtfully.
"Righto then," said Alice cheerfully, standing, "Let's do this!"
Sirius grinned, and cast a disillusionment charm on all of them. "I'm impressed." Said Mary's voice, "Didn't know you had the ability for that type of charm work."
"Well of course I do!" exclaimed Sirius pompously, before marching out of the Common Room.
The four of them snuck through the halls, following the sound of Sirius's muttering.
After what seemed like quite a while, Sirius hissed "Shhh, they're just around the corner."
The four of them tiptoed around the corner, where a shocking sight met their eyes.
James was snogging Lily up against the wall, and she seemed to have no objection to it. In fact, she seemed to be responding rather eagerly.
"I TOLD YOU!" Sirius shouted before anyone could stop him. "I TOLD YOU ALL!"
Upon hearing his shouts, the couple pulled away and drew their wands. Quick as a flash, Lily used a non-verbal spell, and the four spies were suddenly visible.
"Oh." James sighed, "It's only you lot."
"Well this is awkward." Lily muttered.
"How long has this been going on?" asked Alice, who was grinning much too mischievously.
"Erm... tweeks." muttered Lily.
"Sorry, what was that?" asked Sirius, also grinning widely.
"Two weeks." Lily said, glaring at Sirius.
"WHAT?" shrieked Alice, "You've been snogging him for two weeks and you haven't even told us? We're you're best friends!"
Lily shrugged. "We were going to make it official with the Hogsmeade trip next weekend." She said sheepishly.
"You still didn't tell us." Mary pointed out.
"Alice didn't tell us for a whole month when she started going out with Frank," Lily replied, "And Miss Mary didn't tell us about her summer boyfriend for two whole months. So really, two weeks isn't a very long time."
"Fine." Sighed Alice, "But aren't you two annoyed he didn't tell you?" she asked Sirius and Remus.
Sirius began laughing. "No," answered Remus, "We figured it'd happen eventually. Besides, we're just happy we never have to listen to him whinge about her ever again!"
"Yay, happy endings for all," said James impatiently, "Now get back to your dorms, or I'll deduct points! We're very busy."
The four turned and trooped back to the Common Room, Sirius sniggering all the way.
"See Moony," said Sirius as they began heading up the stairs, "third time's a charm!"
AN: Well, this was a slightly weird story, but that's what happens when a) it's written while watching Hoodwinked, b) my little sister watches Penguins of Madagascar too often, and c) I watched The Fellowship of the Ring the night previous. If you understand the references to any of the three, you are awesome. Virtual butterbeer to you. Or pumpkin pasties, if you'd rather.
Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling.
Anywho, if you enjoyed, please review!