I press my fingers to my chest and feel the magic thrumming. It is an unnatural high, but not dangerous. How could they know? They look at us like monsters, not people with hearts. To their eyes we are all potential monsters. I know I am not a monster, but sometimes I wonder. I have been in the Circle for only ten years. I was not taken in till I was 10. I know that magic can hurt people, but cannot a sword do the same? I hear of mages who rebel against our overlords, use blood magic to get their ways. I would never do that, could never do that. I can't help but sometimes imagine it though, but only in private. Those eyes….they can see into your very thoughts, and I don't want the next rite of tranquility done just because I thought of it. I sometimes wonder if I could ever run away. I wouldn't resort to blood magic to do it, not that our watchers care. Where would I go? Somewhere away from circles perhaps. I have read about the Tevinter Imperium, about how terrible and wild it is there. No, they may admire mages there, but not even a mage could escape the evil they infested themselves with. See, I am getting stared at because I lost myself in daydreams. Why are they in the Library anyway? Do they think we will pick up and book and just start turning into an abomination? My mentor wouldn't be pleased that I'm not studying, but what does she care? She's under their thumbs like an insect. If she doesn't obey them, she will be squashed. Maybe if I go to my room instead? I will tell them I have a headache. Although they won't actually ask me what's wrong- it's hard not to answer their hard stares. Why is the First Enchanter coming over to me? Have I done something wrong? He can't know that I was the one who froze the privy stalls in the dormitory, on a dare. He wants me to come with him, he looks sad. I'm starting to panic; Templars are everywhere, why am I going to the Harrowing Chamber? I'm not ready for that! No….everything is wrong. Why are the Tranquil here? The atmosphere is stifling. The First Enchanter says only two words, and I know what is wrong. He's sorry? I know now what is happening, it is the Rite of Tranquility. No! I won't do it. I haven't done anything wrong, but they won't listen to my pleas. I ask them, over and over again, why they are doing this. They draw their swords because I resist. My blood rushes, I can hear it in my ears. It carries so much magic in it. I know what I have to do. With great ferocity I bite down on my arm, causing blood to spill out. I will kill them, the ones who have pushed me to this evil. I will kill the Templars.