* I don't own The Outsiders.
Ponyboy and Steve have never been close. Steve thinks Pony is a tag along, Pony hates Steve's guts...or does he? Is there relationship as black and white as the book portrays it to be? After Johnny and Dally, things have been hard for Ponyboy. Will Steve push Ponyboy to the end of his patience, causing Pony to stray from the gang? Does the gang see how much their deaths are eating Pony up? Will Steve and Pony always hate each other, or will Steve prove to be a better friend than Pony ever thought he could be?
Warning: swearing
(PPOV)
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I sat on the couch, staring at the screen of the television. I didn't listen and if you'd asked me what I just saw, I couldn't tell you. Today was the second month since that horrible night. The night they died.
It wrenched my heart every time I thought about it, heard a whisper about it, even looking at a book would remind me of the times I'd talk to Johnny about it. Everywhere was a constant reminder, it was hard to accept it all, I still hadn't accepted it.
I swear sometimes I wake up and wonder what me and Johnny should do that day or I find myself wondering who Dally had gotten into a bar fight with. It hurts every time I realize that I won't be doing anything with Johnny and Dally didn't have a fight with anyone because they're not here. They're dead.
Jesus, I can barley admit it to myself.
I glanced around, watching Steve and Soda fool around like any other time. It made me smile weakly when I thought about them. I could always count on the two of them acting like themselves. Soda and Steve were currently playing one another in a game of poker, of course, both accusing the other of cheating. Both guilty.
Two-Bit was driving Darry to the end of his limited patience with a long drawn out tale about something dumb. He's been going on and on for the past twenty minutes, I smirked a little about how predictable it was. Darry paid attention for the first five minutes, figuring out it was stupid, he tuned Two-Bit out and continued with whatever he was doing, next he starts to get annoyed with Two-Bit hanging over his shoulder, finally the grand finale, Darry yells at him to get a life.
3...2...1...
"Two-Bit, shut your trap! Don't you see I don't care about how you fell down at Shepard's party? I don't care that you fell and I don't care how you ended up falling. Why don't you go out and do something relatively productive, like get a job, instead of torturing me with this!?"
Nice timing Curtis. I laughed a little.
"Darry, I could have seriously hurt myself and you say you don't care." Two-Bit dramatically draped a hand over his heart and stumbled back, feigning hurt.
Darry rolled his eyes. "Well you're obviously fine. Not to mention, you find a way to hurt yourself daily, I don't need to know about all of them, especially one as embarrassing as falling at Shepard's party. If I were you, I'd keep that to myself and hope that nobody saw it, and if anybody did see it, that they were too drunk to remember."
Two-Bit just laughed, his gray eyes shining with humor. Like he cares if anyone saw it, he probably finds it funnier than anyone else.
Soda left the room to go take a shower, I stepped out onto the porch. The night was chilly, colder than the night at the park. I really hate how I can't get it all out of my head, I figure it's 'cause I don't understand why it all happened.
Why would three kids die? Why did my parents die? Though that's a lot different than Johnny, Dally and Bob dying, at least my parents got to live a little. I ain't saying it was fair they died, because it's not, but they finished school, had a family, stuff like that. Stuff that Johnny, Bob, and maybe even Dally ever got to dream about.
I sat down, my head swimming with all the wrongs, the too few rights, and the countless questions. I wished I could just shut my brain off for a while. Steve came out, lighting a cigarette, I looked at the burning end of the cigarette.
Heat, fire, choking...
"Hey, kid." Steve's smile was cocky, his voice slightly mocking.
"Why ain't you answering. Do you remember how, or did that kick to your head make you forget?" He asked sarcastically. I ignored him, knowing full well he was probably just pissed off about something and wanted to let some of the steam off. I didn't want to be his victim, but then again it always seems I end up someone's punching bag.
Why not Steve's too?
I looked up at the stars, thinking about the paper I'd given Mr. Syme. He'd read it and I'd gotten an A+ on it. He'd made a lot of comments about it too, thanking me for sharing my opinion with him, telling me he thinks I could be a great writer. I'd never really thought about writing as a career, always thought about the science field as a career for myself, an English career could be cool though.
Steve was still ranting and now started poking me, I tuned in enough to catch this much, "You're not the only one who lost them, you're being a selfish little kid."
What?
Red hot anger flew through me, who the fuck does he think he is? I was well aware I wasn't the only one who'd lost people they cared about, but I was the one who watched the both of them die, hell Johnny was my best friend.
"What the fuck are you going on about?! I know that I'm not the only one who lost them." I hissed, glaring at him.
"You sure don't act like it."
"Fuck off, Randle."
"Grow up, get a life, baby Curtis."
I didn't even think about what I was doing, I didn't care what the consequences may be. I never could stand Steve and he'd always loved to make fun of me, but I wasn't going to have this conversation, I wasn't going to be everyone's punching bag.
I swung around quick and punched him in the face, one of my knuckles splitting from the impact. Taken completely off guard, he fell back, slamming into the corner of the porch with a loud bang.
"That grown up enough for you?" I said sarcastically, taking a stride until I was right in his face, a small trickle of blood coming from his nose, expression shocked. The door behind me opened and I heard the gang's questions but ignored them. "Just because your father treats you like shit, doesn't mean you can come here and treat me how you feel for your own fucking amusement. I don't care what your problem is, but you are not taking it out on me." Soda tugged on my arm, but I shook him off. "And lastly, you don't know anything about what I'm feeling or thinking so shut up. Yeah you lost Johnny and Dally the same as I did, but Johnny wasn't your best bud, he was mine. I wonder where you'd end up if Soda wasn't around, if you had to watch him die in front of your face because of a choice you made."
With that I jumped off the stairs yelling that I was going out and I'd be home by curfew.
"Pony!" I heard Soda yell after me.
"Just leave me alone!" I didn't turn to look at any of their faces, having a pretty good clue what I'd find.
I glanced up at the stars, drawing in some deep breaths so I could cool off some.
How am I suppose to stay gold?
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Should I continue? Review if you want more!