Hello everyone!
So, the first story in my series of one-shots. Hope you like it!
Please take a minute to drop me a review telling me what you think. If you read this, please add #Promises
Enjoy!
-Estelle
(Marauder's Era)
When Sirius was 5, and Bellatrix was 9, she would come over every weekend to play.
She played more grown up games than Sirius did, involving fake wands and death and dark mystical forces.
He played Quidditch, where he was the Beater and Reg was the Seeker, and they pretended they were so fantastic that they made up for the rest of the players.
So Bellatrix played with them, managing to rope Andromeda and Narcissa into it, too, simply because she adored Sirius more than anyone else in the world, adored his dark hair and grey eyes and brash personality, so like her own.
At that time, she was Trixie to him. He was the only one who ever called her that, and she didn't mind at all.
"Promise me you'll come next weekend." Sirius said to his cousin when it was time for her to leave.
Little Trixie ruffled Sirius's hair, "I promise."
Next weekend, at 10:00 on Saturday morning, the fireplace of Grimmauld Place swirled with smoke and ash.
Trixie stepped out, beaming, and asked, "Ready to play, Siri?" and Sirius had nodded in delight and dragged her off to his room.
Trixie never broke her promise.
When Sirius was 7, and Bellatrix was 11, she asked him to stop calling her Trixie.
"Why?" Sirius asked with wide eyes. He had called her that for as long as he could remember.
"I'm going to Hogwarts day after tomorrow, Siri. I have an actual wand. I'm older now. I need you to call me something more grown up." she replied.
He scrunched up his nose, "More grown up?"
"Yeah. Soon, you'll ask me to stop calling you Siri. You'll say Sirius is your name, and that's what you want to be called."
"No, I won't." he denied.
Except he would. Years later, he would hate being called Siri, because Bellatrix was the only one who ever called him that, and when she stopped, he shut that part of himself down.
"Yes, you will. You just don't know it now." Bellatrix insisted.
"So can I call you Bella?"
"Hmm..." she thought for a moment before nodding approvingly, "Yes, you can. Bella. Sounds sophisticated. I like it."
Sirius cheered up immediately, "Okay."
Two days later, he was standing with her at King's Cross Station.
"Will you be in Slytherin, Bella?" the young boy questioned, as his Aunt Druella fussed over her oldest daughter.
"Of course." Bella answered with dignity. Narcissa had tears in her eyes at the prospect of her sister leaving. Andromeda paid more attention to her story book than her family.
Sirius was quiet for a moment, before he tugged at her sleeve softly, "Will you write to me?" he asked, "Every week?"
"Every week." Bella replied, without any hesitation.
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Ten minutes later, Sirius was standing with his family, waving, as the scarlet engine chugged out of sight.
One week later, he received an owl from Bella containing a detailed description of Hogwarts and her classes and friends, and how happy she was to be in Slytherin. It had long words, and fancy fonts, and Sirius took half an hour to read the whole thing.
Letters came the next week, too, and the week after that, and every week for the rest of the year.
Bella never broke her promise.
When Sirius was 11 and Bellatrix was 15, they boarded the Hogwarts Express together for the first time.
"What if I'm not in Slytherin?" Sirius asked. There was no fear behind the question. There was only curiosity.
He had grown up. He no longer idolized his father, no longer thought that the Blacks were the most superior wizarding family. He didn't like the dark magic he could feel within the walls of his house. He wanted to learn something more, something brighter, something that didn't make him feel cold and eerie.
He didn't want to be in Slytherin.
Bella narrowed her eyes, "What do you mean? Don't you want to be in Slytherin?"
Sirius shrugged. If one thing hadn't changed, it was that he still adored Bella, with every ounce of his being, "I'm just asking...what if I'm not?"
"If you're in Ravenclaw, our family would be disappointed, but nothing else. It just shows that you have more wit than ambition."
"Oh."
"If you were in Hufflepuff-" Bella began, but she was cut off by her cousin.
"No." he snapped.
Bella laughed, nodding approvingly, "And if you were in Gryffindor, you would be considered the disgrace of the family."
"Why?" Sirius had secretly wanted to be in Gryffindor.
"Because." was the only reply his cousin gave him.
"But if I am in Gryffindor-"
"Why would you want to imagine that?" Bella interrupted.
"Just- just say, if I am." Sirius said, feeling suddenly anxious, "Would- will you..."
"Will I?"
"Still clap for me?" Sirius peeked at her through his curtain of elegant black hair.
Bella turned to him, clearly surprised. He looked down and mumbled something unintelligible and continued behind her, dragging his trunk.
"I need to get to the Prefects' carriage." Bella said, opening the door of an empty compartment, "Here, Siri. This one's free. Sit."
Sirius felt apprehensive, making his way into the compartment by himself, but eager to meet someone new, outside his cousins' shadow. Everyone knew Andromeda and Bellatrix.
Before she shut the door, Bella said, "Siri?"
"Yeah?"
"I will."
Sirius stared at her for a moment, confused. Then he realized what she was saying. His face lit up.
"Promise?" he asked.
"I promise."
A few hours later, the Great Hall was so silent that the drop of a wand could be heard.
Sirius Black had just been sorted into Gryffindor.
James Potter was wearing a maniacal grin, while the teachers stood with open mouths. Sirius had to stop himself from jumping with joy, because everyone was staring at him. No one was clapping.
His eyes sought Bella. She looked shocked, her emotions unreadable. The moment he met her eyes, though, her expression softened. Ever so slightly. If he hadn't known her for 11 years, he wouldn't have seen it.
She started clapping.
By the time Sirius had made his way to Gryffindor Table, several others were clapping, too, including James Potter.
He caught Bella's eye again, sending her a grateful smile.
Bella never broke her promises.
When Sirius was 12 and Bella was 16, she called him Sirius for the first time.
"Sirius." she said, "I need to borrow Artemis."
Sirius, who had been walking up the stairs with Remus Lupin and James Potter, stopped short and whirled around.
"What?" he gaped at her.
"Artemis." Bella repeated slowly, "Your owl, Sirius. Surely you haven't forgotten Artemis."
"No- that's not- I remember- so I'm Sirius now?" he spluttered. He was aware that James had cast a confused glance at him, but he ignored it.
Bella gazed at him for a moment, "You're my little brother. That is who you are."
Sirius's heart warmed a bit when she called him her brother, but he still frowned, "What were you doing to the Macmillan kid yesterday?"
"The Macmillan kid?"
James scowled, "Yeah. In our year. He's a really nice guy."
"Be quiet, Potter." Bella snapped, "I was talking to my cousin."
James opened his mouth furiously, but Remus silenced him with a look.
"You were casting Stinging Jinxes on him." Sirius said, "And Jelly-Legs. And a few others that made him bleed."
"Oh, the Hufflepuff." Bella said carelessly, "Annoying thing. Had it coming."
"No, he didn't Bella!" Sirius said, his voice raising a bit.
"Don't talk about things you don't understand." she replied irritably.
"This isn't- I'm not-"
"Well, aren't we coherent today." A smooth voice said. Lucius Malfoy appeared at Bella's shoulder, "Bellatrix, your sister told me to give you this."
Bella took the paper that Lucius had handed her, "Cissa or Andy?"
"Narcissa."
"Very well. Thank you, Lucius. Now, please leave."
Malfoy did as he was told, swaggering away from the group with a superior expression which made Sirius long to punch him. The fact that he was dating Narcissa didn't really help that longing, either.
"I need to borrow Artemis." Bella said again.
"You were making him cry, and you were enjoying it." Sirius said adamantly. He wanted an explanation as to why she had been hurting Macmillan.
"You harass Snape all the time-"
"-that's different. He starts it sometimes, and it's because we don't like each other-"
"-Yes, and I dislike Macmillan." Bella said, looking bored.
"He's four years younger than you, though!" James said angrily, "He didn't even do anything to you!"
"I said stay out of it, Potter!" she hissed, "Sirius, can I borrow Artemis or not? I don't have all day, I need to be at Hogsmeade in 20 minutes."
Sirius sighed, "Fine." he said moodily.
"Thank you."
As Bella said off towards the Owlery, Sirius called her name. She turned around questioningly.
"Buy me 4 of bars of chocolate from Honeydukes?"
Bella looked incredulous, "Four?"
"Yup. Four. Please?"
"Alright." she relented.
"Promise?"
"I promise." she threw him a smile, and he couldn't help but smile back.
"She's not gonna buy them for you." James said, as they made their way to the common room.
"Why do you need four, anyway?" Remus added, "She won't even buy you one. Four is a stretch."
"You don't know her. She'll get them." Sirius said defiantly, "And four because it's one for each of us. Me, you two and Peter."
That night, at dinner, under James's and Remus's astonished stares, Bella dropped four chocolate bars on the table next to them.
"Thanks, Bella." Sirius sais.
"Not a problem. Good night, Sirius."
As she walked off, and James, Remus and Peter pounced on the chocolate, Sirius felt his heart clench a little.
He was going to have to get used to her calling him Sirius instead of Siri.
But he smiled when James threw some chocolate at him.
Bella never broke her promises.
When Sirius was 13 and Bellatrix was 17, he called her Bella for the last time.
"Can't believe I'm ever coming back." Bella admitted to her little cousin, as they walked to the Owlery together.
"Me neither. Hogwarts without Bella." Sirius mused. He pulled a face, "Ew."
She laughed, "That's a way to put it. Where are your friends?"
"Studying, Quidditch, detention." the boy recited, and Bella knew which one was doing which activity. If studying and detention could be called activities.
"Potter's not too shabby at Quidditch." Bella said.
"Not too shabby?" Sirius chuckled, "He's bloody brilliant! Even Reg admitted it!" he lowered his voice, still grinning affectionately, "Don't tell James I said that. Egoistic prat."
"Language, Mister." Bella tutted.
They walked in companionable silence until they reached the Owlery.
As Sirius watched Bella tie her letter to Artemis, he asked, "Bella? What are you doing after you leave? Will you get a job?"
"Not one at the Ministry, no." Bella replied, "Sirius, have you heard of the Dark Lord?"
"The evil arising wizard who kills people for fun and who's really dangerous and we need to watch out." Sirius said promptly. The teachers had been warning the students about safety for weeks now.
"Yes. He's recruiting an army." Bella said.
"So...you're gonna fight against it? Like an auror?" Sirius asked.
His cousin sent him an odd look as she tried to force Artemis to remain still, "No. I'm planning to join it."
Sirius reeled in shock, "What?!"
"Join the Death Eaters." Bella repeated calmly.
"But you can't! He's evil!"
"He's got the right ideas."
"Muggle-borns are not scum! And killing isn't fun!"
"Sirius, it's my life. It's my choice."
Sirius was breathing heavily when Bella finally succeeded in tying the letter onto Artemis's leg. They both watched the owl fly into the sunset.
"I don't want you to get hurt." Sirius ventured honestly.
"I won't. Sirius, Gryffindor's putting the wrong ideas into your mind. You're acting ridiculous."
He looked up at Bella, furious, "No, I'm not. You're being stupid."
Bella didn't reply.
"The graduation's tomorrow." Sirius finally said, "Don't fight with me till then."
"Okay."
"And in your speech as Head Student of Slytherin, can you say something about me? By name?"
"What?" Bella turned to Sirius in confusion.
"I mean, like...just say, 'and a hug to my cousin Sirius' or something like that."
"I'll think about it."
"Please?" he begged with wide, puppy-dog eyes.
Bella sighed, "If you stop calling me Bella."
Sirius stepped back, as if he had been slapped.
"I mean, not that there's anything wrong with it, but, I feel like I've outgrown that, too. I don't call you Siri-"
"-because you stopped! I still wouldn't mind! And Lestrange calls you Bella!"
"Only because I call him Rudo."
Sirius didn't speak for several moments. Finally, he said, "Tomorrow. At the graduation, I'll start calling you Bellatrix. Until then, you'll be Bella."
"Okay." Bella agreed readily, "And I will mention you in my speech."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Sirius smiled at her, pushing open the Owlery door for them to exit.
The graduation ceremony was first thing the next morning, and no one would be able to speak to the graduates till the ceremony was over, so when he bid his cousin a good night, he chanted her name like a mantra.
She gave him a hug, and he returned it.
"Good night, Sirius. Sleep well."
"You too. Night, Bella." Bella, Bella, Bella.
The next morning came too soon.
By chance, when he and his fellow Marauders were choosing their seats, Bella- Bellatrix- walked past them, looking dark and beautiful.
She shot him a smile, managing to look nervous and confident at the same time. Scores of families sat in the audience, waiting for the ceremony to begin.
"Good luck, Bellatrix." Sirius said. The name tasted odd in his mouth, but she beamed at him and nodded in acknowledgement, before taking her seat near the stage.
When it was her turn to speak, she talks about learning, about using what they learnt in the real world for a good reason, and everyone murmured their agreement.
Sirius wondered if anyone knew what she really meant. They nodded, thinking she will use her learnings to become an Auror, or a curse-breaker, thinking maybe Slytherin wasn't so bad, after all, if the Head Student wanted to fight evil.
Instead, she would join an army of murderers, and use her knowledge to torture the innocent, and Sirius knew he should have realized it, but he never saw it coming.
"...applaude our teachers for their sacrifice and effort, our families for their never ending support, and our friends for always having our backs..." Bellatrix was saying, and Sirius thought that it was the perfect speech, but so against everything Bellatrix believed in that he wondered why she was even saying it.
"...most of all.." she continued, "I need to thank someone so much younger than me, someone who has rebelled against our family's beliefs, but nonetheless remained a strong person, one of my favorite people- my little brother, Sirius Black, Gryffindor, who never fails to make me smile, no matter how angry or upset I am."
Sirius couldn't help but grin as she spoke.
She might be turning to a life of crime, crime she delighted in, but she was still his cousin.
She spoke about him with such pride, she spoke about him in front of everyone, just like he had asked her to.
Bellatrix never broke her promises.
When Sirius was 16, and Bellatrix was 20, they spoke for the first time after 3 years.
She turned up at the Potter's doorstep, practically forcing her way inside, and ignoring James's scowl, ignoring the Potters raising their wands.
"What on earth?" she snapped at her cousin.
"I live here now, Bellatrix." he replied irritably.
"I know. I know that, I heard. I saw. Your name's gone, blasted right off the tapestry, they've disowned you, and I needed to come see you, so-"
"How did you know he was here?" James asked suspiciously.
"Where else would he go?"
James didn't answer.
"Exactly. Okay, Sirius, here." Bellatrix thrust a piece of parchment into his hands.
"What's this?"
"An invitation. I'm getting married."
Sirius's jaw dropped, "What? To who?"
"Rudo, next weekend, and I want you to be there. Hide yourself, but just be there."
Sirius nodded, "Will do." he paused, "Bellatrix Lestrange..."
But Bellatrix was already at the door, "If anyone asks, I was never here." she said sharply.
"Why?" Sirius ordered.
"Because." she replied.
"Bellatrix!" he called after her, and she turned around.
"Wear white." he said.
His cousin's brow furrowed.
"You were going to wear black. I know you." Sirius said, "Don't. Wear white instead."
"Why?"
"Because. It's bright. It's happier. I want you to."
Bellatrix relented, "Simply because you've asked."
"Promise?"
"I promise." and with that she was gone, the door of the Potter's house slamming shut.
A week later, Sirius set off for the wedding, ignoring the Potter's protests.
He kept himself hidden the whole time, and nobody spotted him.
Nobody except Bella, and when she caught sight of him, her smile increased ten-fold.
But that is not what made Sirius happy.
What made him happy was the color of her dress.
She was wearing white.
Bellatrix never broke her promises.
When Sirius was 17 and Bellatrix was 21, they saw each other for the last time before Sirius was carted away to Azkaban.
He, James, Remus and Peter were in Diagon Alley before their seventh year started.
They were flanked by James's worried parents when they had arrived, but at that moment, they were by themselves, because Mr. and Mrs. Potter took a detour to Gringrotts.
"Our last year at Hogwarts." Peter said in awe.
"Gonna miss it." Remus said, "This is our last time buying our books here, guys."
Sirius would miss Hogwarts, too. He would miss it terribly. It was is home, after all.
"Don't know why my parents had to come." James grumbled, "Bloody annoying. We can manage ourselves. We're almost of age."
James was lying. They all knew it. The Daily Prophet brought news everyday, news of kidnaps, deaths and disappearances. It wasn't safe anymore.
Children were dying, muggles were being murdered, families were being torn apart, people were being mercilessly tortured.
The culprit's names were announced sometimes, whenever the Ministry could find out who it was.
When that happened, Bellatrix's name was always there.
The boys knew how much it had bothered Sirius, but after the twenty-third time, he had gotten accustomed to seeing it.
Bellatrix Lestrange, wanted for murder of so-and-so. Bellatrix Lestrange, wanted for torture of so-and-so
"Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7." Remus said, pointing earnestly at a book in Flourish and Blotts, and also breaking Sirius out of his reverie, "We need those."
"There's only 5 left." Sirius observed, "C'mon, let's grab them before someone else does."
"It's not a competition, Padfoot-" Remus began, but it was pointless, because Sirius was already off. He dashed to the secluded area of the shop and managed to nab four textbooks, tossing them to his friends as they made their way over. Sirius stepped backwards, accidentally pushing someone behind him.
He whirled around. He couldn't see the person's face because she had covered it with a hood-like cloak, but her silky, dark hair rolled down her back.
"Sorry." he said hurriedly, "Didn't see you there."
Sirius saw strangely familiar silver eyes flash. The hood was pulled down.
Bellatrix stood in front of him.
Sirius let out a shout, and the Marauders raised their wands immediately.
"Well, well, Sirius." Bellatrix said silkily, her eyes wilder and her voice more exhuberant, "Fancy seeing you here."
"Could say the same to you." he replied roughly, never lowering his wand, "Been seeing you all over the Prophet."
"Oh, yes." Bellatrix said smoothly, "Useless people loiter, I kill them. Become quite the hobby. Crucio is more fun to use than Avada Kedavera now."
Sirius's face went white, "If I shouted louder, you could be arrested."
"I could kill you all."
Sirius didn't protest because he knew she was right.
"Unfortunately, I can't murder you 4 here, it would look suspicious. Dead bodies in a bookstore." his cousin's eyes were maniacal.
"What happened to you?" Sirius croaked.
"I am doing the right thing." she said coldly, "I am choosing the right side, I am not betraying my family or my beliefs."
"They were never my family."
Bellatrix threw her head back and laughed, an exhilarated laugh with no warmth.
There was no love in her eyes, her expression didn't soften at the sight of him anymore. It was unbearable.
"You are fighting for the losing side, Sirius." she whispered.
"No." he replied staunchly, "I'm fighting for what's right."
Her eyes flashed again, and another laugh escaped her mouth, mirthless and cold.
"You will lose, Sirius Black." she hissed, "You will die in this war."
His eyes met hers, both holding cold hatred.
"Promise me something." he whispered, and recognition flickered in his cousin's eyes as he continued, "Promise me a battle. In five years, or ten, or fifteen. Promise me one battle for the war, light versus dark. One battle between us."
She nodded wildly, "And that is how you will die."
Sirius let out his own laugh, easily as cruel and cold as Bellatrix's, and he knew Remus and Peter were exchanging scared looks, that James was seething.
"Is that a promise then?" he asked, "You promise?"
"I promise." she shrieked, "And I also promise that it will be your last duel, Sirius! In that battle, I promise I will kill you!"
Something tugged at Sirius's heart. His stomach clenched slightly at the thought that this was what they had come to, their promises of friendship and loyalty becoming promises of death. There was no love in her heart, no warmth in her eyes. She was gone, far, far away and Sirius knew he could never reach her again. He had lost her.
He wondered if he had ever really had her, ever really known her.
He knew Trixie. He knew Bella. He knew Bellatrix Black, just a little.
He didn't know who Bellatrix Lastrange was. He didn't hate Bellatrix. He only hated what she had become, this cold, cruel monster who had once been his idol.
And then James's arm was on his shoulder, and he was glaring at Bellatrix as she threw on her hood and swept away.
"Blood prat-" a stream of incoherent swear words flowed from his mouth, anger on Sirius's behalf.
And Peter stood, waiting anxiously, and Remus gave him a sympathetic smile, suggesting chocolate ice cream.
"Don't take her seriously mate." James said, still steaming, "Don't listen to her."
"I won't." Sirius replied, "Let's go get ice cream."
And yet, as they walked to the ice cream parlor, Sirius felt troubled. He thought of his first conversation with Bellatrix Lestrange, which was probably also his last.
He though of Trixie and the Quidditch games.
He though of Bella and Hogwarts and Artemis the Owl.
He thought of Bellatrix and graduation speeches and white wedding dresses.
He thought of her parting words to him, mere moments ago, and he knew what was bothering him.
I promise I will kill you.
Bellatrix never broke her promises.