Chapter 1
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It was the –4, it was the +4. It was the Britney Spears; it was the Christina Agulera. It was the, oh heck you know what I mean.
Anyway, Bree Desperato was making one of her good-housewife homemade pies. She couldn't wait until her new husband got home. They weren't married legally, but with all of the new men she'd been meeting and killing it was probably best not to get attached to men who came to Wisteria lane. Yes Wisteria lane was indeed a magical place. Even the residents of this magical street could not tell you where this delicate and warm community was located.
Suddenly Bree pulled the finger she had been subconsciously nibbling on out of her mouth, for a ruckus could be heard from the back of her furnished house. As she swiftly and briskly made her way to the back of her house, she remembered how many ex-boyfriends and husbands she had previously cheated on. With these thoughts in her head, she stopped at the glass case in her living room with maroon velvet carpeting on the sides, and hastily unlocked the lock that had been locked. Out of the case she pulled out her .50 caliber rifle and released the safety as she again made her way to the back door.
Once outside her expression changed to one of, well with all of the botocks she'd been getting you couldn't really tell.