One Must Always be Prepared

by sickandtiredtoday

This is part 5 of my Sei and Yumi story. It's huge, but I sincerely hope you enjoy this as well. Reviews and comments are always welcome, as I honestly appreciate the feedback. Thank you for reading, and many thanks to you all who have come this far.

5. One Must Always be Prepared.

It is not quite dusk in the greenhouse, but close enough. Still light enough for Yumi to see Sachiko's expression, as she sits next to her on a bench. The same bench, she realises, that Sachiko had told her about Kashawagi. Her face, however, is not the one she wore on that day, when they did not know each other so well. It is a happy one. She is wearing that small smile, and she is playing with Yumi's loose hair. Her body is toward Yumi, and she is very close to her. Her smell is lost in the various scents proliferate in the old greenhouse. Yumi thinks to herself, that just a few hours ago, she made love with Sei here, on the other side of the central planting bed. She involuntarily shivers at the memory.

-Are you cold, Yumi?

Sachiko brings her back with her question. Her soft, cool hand is cupping the back of Yumi's neck, her other hand is stroking Yumi's cheek. Just a few hours ago she was in Sei's arms, calling her name. And now she is in the arms of Sachiko, who is having a different effect on her, though just as intense in some ways.

-No, Onee-sama.

Yumi turns to face Sachiko, gazing into her blue eyes, still glinting in the waning light. Her face is so close. Yumi feels love swell in her. I am a lucky woman, she thinks to herself, looking at her beautiful and caring Onee-sama. She feels love, and on the edge of that, she feels panic. Yumi never likes confrontation. When she needs to she will, however, knowing she will intentionally hurt someone so close to her is making her uneasy. She reasons to herself, that if she was truly concerned about hurting Onee-sama, perhaps she would not have slept with Sei. The heart wants what the heart wants. As does the body, Yumi thinks wryly. Feeling Sachiko's hands on her, she wonders why it seems the body has a mind of its very own. Looking at Sachiko, the light just about gone, she wonders about that, and the look on Sachiko's face. How did I miss that? It seems obvious now, and of no use to her. Would it have changed anything?

Mustering her courage, Yumi smiles gently at this soft Onee-sama. Under other circumstances, Yumi would love this, would love this time alone with Sachiko. No obligations, no time outside of right now, enjoying each other's company. It is so rare, Yumi thinks, wistful at the thought. She is pulling Sachiko's hands off of her, slowly. She is wrapping her own hands around them, she places their joined hands on her lap. So rare that they are alone. When they can talk with each other or sit in companionable silence. Yumi cherishes the memory of their date when she truly understood for the first time, in real world terms, how different she and Sachiko are, and also how similar.

Holding Sachiko's hands, the long, flexible fingers moving lightly in her own, the thumbs running over her knuckles. Looking directly into Sachiko's eyes, she thinks that on that date, she was too nervous to truly enjoy herself. That like with Sei, she could regard times like the date, and now, as stolen. Lifted from their busy lives, a twilight world, like the one they are sitting in now. The world of girls, a demi-monde, a world that is both physical and metaphysical. An idea guarded by reality.

-Yumi? You're gone again.

Yumi snaps out of her reveries, and into Sachiko's amusement. She blushes slightly, knowing that this drifting off has become a habit. And it is time to bite the bullet, it is now or never.

-I'm here, Onee-sama. There is something I want to discuss with you.

-So formal, Yumi. What is it?

Yumi can hear the humour in Sachiko's voice, and feels a little bit more awful.

-I'm dating someone, Onee-sama.

Yumi blurts out, like ripping off a plaster.

There is silence. The seconds creep by. The silence, like the night, is deepening. Yumi and Sachiko are still holding hands, still looking at each other. If it were not for this physical connection, Yumi might think she is sitting with a photograph, so quiet is Sachiko.

-Onee-sama...

Sachiko blinks, and she is back, Yumi can feel it, feel Sachiko fill her form again. She pulls Yumi's hands onto her lap.

-Who?

There is sharpness there now, an icy intensity skating through her demeanour now. Her grip on Yumi's hands is becoming hard. And this would be the hardest part, Yumi knows. Possibly the dating part is OK, not fine, not by a long shot, but they could deal with it. It was always going to be the who part that would cause the biggest problem. Yumi allows her hands to go limp in Sachiko's, and shifts herself closer, not breaking the eye contact, which is getting harder to maintain in the growing dark. Yumi knows this mood from Sachiko. She is not exactly angry, more deeply upset. This is her possessiveness, this is her neediness. This is her love, Yumi thinks. Her love is a form of jealousy, a need to keep what she perceives as hers. Yumi knows this, and knows where it comes from.

-Who?

Sachiko is demanding now, but she has not moved away from Yumi, and Yumi takes this as a good sign. Sachiko is still in control. Her slightly hysterical side has not made an appearance. Yet.

-Sei.

This surprises a laugh out of Sachiko. A disbelieving whuff of air.

-What?

-I'm dating Sei.

-Satou Sei?

-Yes, Rosa Gigantea, Satou Sei.

Sachiko begins to shake her head. Her grip on Yumi's hands is becoming harder. Yumi mentally braces herself.

-How long?

For a number of reasons, Yumi feels bad about this.

-Officially, since last Wednesday.

-Officially?

Yumi sighs. She was unsure how this would go, but had made a promise to herself that she would be honest, regardless how much it would hurt the both of them. How to explain that she and Sei had only admitted their feelings a few days ago, but that those feelings had been simmering for months, even while she was adoring Sachiko? How to admit that it was she, Yumi, who had made the 'official' first move? How is she to say to Onee-sama it all started because one day she looked across the table in the Rose Mansion, and the sun had shone on Sei's face, and Yumi discovered that she loved looking at her unusual face? That it is Sei that Yumi runs to when Sachiko is overwhelming, and Sei becomes the eye of her storm in a teacup? How do I say, I like the feel of Sei's body against mine?

-What does officially mean, Yumi?

Yumi swallows. This is hard. She feels like she in pressed up against something metal, so hard she can taste it.

-It means we are sleeping together, Sachiko.

Yumi chooses to use Sachiko's given name without an honorific. She chooses now, to take this outside of school. This has nothing to do with Lillian. This has nothing to do with their system. This is about real life, and real feelings. What Yumi feels is real, and it will not end with Lillian, even if it begins here. Sachiko's feelings are real, as are Sei's. She needs to do justice to those feelings, needs to defend them.

Sachiko's hold on Yumi's hands falls away, and she slumps. Yumi feels an apology rising up through her, and fights it. She fights all the excuses she can hear inside of herself. She fights against filling this disturbing silence. She sits beside her Onee-sama in the dark. It is getting colder in here. Security lights have flicked on across the grounds. There are none at the the greenhouse. They are further toward the school and lighting the main path through the front gates. She can see them from her seat. It feels more lonely here with those lights. Without putting much thought into it, Yumi puts an arm around Sachiko's shoulders. In a quiet voice, she begins to explain. She is not making excuses, and there is no hint of apology in her voice. There is compassion, however, there is kindness. She is as gentle as she can be, enduring Sachiko's silence, hoping that something is making it through.

-It happened fast, Sachiko. But at the same time, not.

Yumi tries to say, that she does not love Sachiko less, just differently. As the warmth of Sachiko seeps in through her side, Yumi begins to question that. How much of a difference is there? Really? Now that she has seen what her feelings can be toward another woman, she is wondering what her own feelings for Sachiko are. Are they as innocent as she thinks? She knows that they are not. She knows she appreciates the way Sachiko looks, and has wondered about how it would feel to kiss her. She knows this, but it always seemed like an intellectual exercise. Something that existed purely in the realm of fantasy. But now with Sei, it has pushed her to look at the world differently. She even had a brief mind blip regarding Yoshino today, of all people.

She is hoping that she can infuse the words she is using with her love and respect for Sachiko. She talks on, describing how she fell in love, and that is was surprising, but not at the same time. She tells Sachiko as much as she can. Her arm pulls Sachiko closer as she talks, and eventually Sachiko's head is on Yumi's shoulder. Yumi buries her nose in Sachiko's hair, and talks on, her voice a hush, that could be mistook for a breeze. Sachiko's arms are around Yumi's waist now, and Yumi wonders if she is going to go to sleep. She eventually runs out of words, feeling she has said as much as she can about the whole thing. Yumi feels hollow. Sitting in the dark with Sachiko, she is also feeling relief. She feels shallow for feeling it, but she badly needs to say out loud what has been happening with her. They are quiet, these two girls holding each other.

-Why isn't it me?

And there it is, at last. Confirmation that Sachiko feels more than friendship for Yumi. Finally, it is out in the open, and that they were not wrong, more importantly, Yumi was not wrong. Yumi is unclear of her feelings on this point, though. It is a conundrum that has been twisting through her. Why is it not Sachiko?

-I don't think I can answer that. Not fully.

-Try.

Sachiko raises her head from Yumi's shoulder, forcing Yumi's head back. Her face is very close to Yumi. So close, in fact, that a deep breath and their lips would touch.

-Please, Yumi.

Yumi can smell Sachiko now, her special Onee-sama smell. She can feel the heat of Sachiko's breath on her face. Sachiko is holding onto her tightly now, and with their gabardines open, they are touching, from thigh to side to breast to shoulder, they are touching. Yumi hears the plea in Sachiko's voice, and feels her heart break. Another star in the wind shield. This same heart is beating wildly in her chest. This is Sachiko, a girl she coveted since before she even came to high school. This is Sachiko, one of the most sought after students of Lillian, the same Sachiko who eventually chose Yumi to be by her side. Yumi has no answer in her for Sachiko. This once, she cannot say, because she does not know herself. Yumi, whispering against Sachiko's mouth, says the first thing that comes to her mind.

-I don't know, Sachiko. Maybe it's because Sei, in her own way, is honest about her feelings for me. Her touching me, joking with me, they were her way of saying she wanted me. And I responded to it, because I wanted her too. If you wanted me, you never said.

-I didn't think I needed to. At least, not yet. I thought I would have more time to understand how I felt myself, before I said anything. I didn't think I would lose you so quickly.

-You haven't lost me. I'm right here.

-At the moment, and then you will be gone, with her. I lose to her again.

Yumi moves her face away from Sachiko's, pulling her into a proper hug, that feels less intimate. She brings her other arm up, and closes them around Sachiko's shoulders.

-You haven't lost anything. We are not playing a game.

Her tone is firm, but still gentle. Sachiko pulls them even closer together. Yumi can feel the press of Sachiko's breasts against her. Something in her stirs. She tries to dismiss it. She raises her hand to Sachiko's hair, and entwines her fingers in it, the silky feel of it is fascinating. She can feel one of Sachiko's hands move to her hip, and the other into her hair, cupping the curve of her skull.

-If I haven't lost, then I want my chance.

-What?

Her hands are so gentle on Yumi, the caress of her fingers in her hair are distracting, her hand on Yumi's hip is rubbing gently, and there it is again. She knows what it is, and she feels betrayed by her own body. The closeness of Sachiko, the feel and smell of her, the slightly faded dream of her is beginning to regain some of its colour. And Yumi knows now, knows more than she did before a few days ago. Knows what could happen if she wanted it. Knows the possibilities, and feels deeply upset by this. Even thinking this. Did Sei know? Did she know, and that is why she asked her what she would do? Is that what was worrying her? Surely, Sei has marked her deep enough, enough that this feeling should not be here?

Sachiko's smooth cheek on hers, the smell of her perfume, the warmth of her body.

Oh no.

-I want my chance to love you, Yumi. The way Sei does.

-No.

-Sei is clearer in her thoughts on these matters. It took me longer. I love you, Yumi. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I'm so sorry. But please, let me have a chance to show you.

-Sachiko, I love you in ways I don't even understand, but this is too much to ask.

-Please, Yumi.

Sachiko slides her cheek along Yumi's.

-No, I can't do that.

Her tone lacks any real strength. Sachiko slides her cheek further, until her lips are near Yumi's. A centimetre more, and they will be on her, and Yumi is experiencing dismay and excitement. Just a centimetre, and the question of how Onee-sama's lips feel will finally have an answer.

-Yumi...

The longing in Sachiko's voice pulls at Yumi's heart and conscience. Yumi wonders if Sachiko had sorted out her feelings earlier, would it have been Sachiko and not Sei she would be with. And another realisation slams into place. She does not know. She knows that she is in love with Sei. But she also knows that this situation is complicated. Perhaps if they had no soeur system, none of this would be happening. She would not be with Sei, she would not have Sachiko in her arms now. These points are moot anyway. This is the reality, and she is finding herself in this very confusing situation. Would she have been with Sei? Seeing as things did not turn out that way, and she is in love with Sei, why is she even thinking about this?

Why is she considering what Sachiko is suggesting?

Because it is Sachiko. It is her Onee-sama. Anyone else saying this, and there would be no weakness, there would be no question. The soeur system was designed with closeness in mind. To lead and learn, from older to younger. Perhaps that is why there is three of them in the soeur system, not just because of the three years of high school, but to stop just two of them from becoming too attached, that with three, there would be more of a balancing act. One cannot lose oneself in another, if there is yet another that depends on you. This is nothing to do with being soeurs, although, there would be the three of them...

Yumi stops at this. Sachiko is quiet, her lips now pressing against the side of Yumi's mouth. A kiss, but not a kiss. She is waiting, Yumi knows. Waiting for her to think this through, but she is not playing fair. Yumi is deep in Sachiko's embrace, losing the battle with the feel of Sachiko's lips on her face. This system of Lillian, it forms bonds. These powerful bonds of trust and attraction. Girls take soeurs first and foremost because they look at them and are attracted to them. Soeurs agree to be so based on mutual attraction, and then they get to know each other. Youko said it tonight, Yumi realises. She wanted Sachiko. Even the use of that particular word is telling. And Yumi wanted Sachiko also. She looked at her, and she wanted her. At the time it was not sexual. She was unsure of sexual in the real as opposed to fantasy until Sei. Yumi's wanting of Sei is real, and based in reality. There is nothing abstract about Sei, no tangled dreams of longing with Sei. Sei is arms and lips and sex. Yumi looks at Sei, and thinks of sex. She always has, because Sei used her body to communicate with Yumi at a very basic level, drew attention to their bodies. In a way, it was how she learned to use her own body with Sachiko. Part of her understood, even then, what the soeur system could mean.

Sei is not the first girl she wanted, but she was the first person she articulated that wanting with. Sei was the first girl she looked at, and did not just think she had a lovely face, or felt slightly jealous over her figure. She looked at Sei and wondered what it would be like to touch her. Even with Sachiko, she did not think that until she got to know her better. Before that it was hero worship. Before that Sachiko was so far removed from her reality, that it did not even occur to her. A bit like looking at an idol in a magazine. Sei took no time at all to touch Yumi, hugging and stroking her at any opportunity, even if at first it was to make Sachiko jealous. It seems that Sei's game worked well, and here she is. Sitting in the dark, on the verge of kissing Sachiko, on the verge of doing something she knows will be stupid and damaging, and yet that bond formed with Sachiko is so embedded, her wooing of Yumi so effective, that she can feel her own weakness, can feel her love of Sachiko, different now because of Sei. Different now because of Sachiko. Different now because of herself.

-I can't Sachiko, because this is not only my decision.

And the spell breaks. Sachiko sighs, and pulls back from Yumi, removing her hands from Yumi, breaking Yumi's hold on her. Yumi cannot see her expression any more, as the night is complete, and the security lights do not cast their brightness this far. Yumi is grateful and anxious at the loss of Sachiko's closeness, and immediately feels confusion over the odd mixture of emotions coursing through her. She wants Sei now, and considers going to her, running to her, wanting her to take her, and reaffirm what they have, feel the heat of Sei's mouth and skin. She wants Sei to use her hands on her, and quieten her mind, soothe her. She nearly did something here tonight, and so early into their relationship. She wants to apologise to Sei, before Sei even knows what is happening. Yumi now feels childish.

But her desire is loose. She is turned on, and feels guilty about this. Feels the betrayal deep inside her. But she cannot help her hormones either. This woman sitting beside her has been the object of her mild obsession. That is what she was, Yumi admits. An object, until she was taken into Sachiko's heart, until she opened her own to Sachiko. Even after they became soeurs, Sachiko still seemed very far from Yumi. So far, until now. Now she can have her, if she chooses to. They could date, actual dating, if they want to. And now it is too late. Somehow, Sachiko does not seem to think it is too late, though.

-Then I want to talk to Sei.

Oh jesus.

-You mean it, then.

Of course she means it, Yumi chastises herself. Sachiko never wastes words. Even losing her temper, her strikes are deliberate.

-Yes. You are my soeur. And I am in love with you. I think I should be allowed to show you that.

Yumi turns to Sachiko again, raising her hand, cupping Sachiko's cheek with her palm.

-But what if I don't allow you, Sachiko?

Yumi's voice is clear, it is sincere. She is not playing with Sachiko, she is not debating with her. She wants to know Sachiko's true intentions. Is this a game, does she think she is in love with Yumi now that she cannot have her? Or is this something more? Does Sachiko honestly want to propose to Sei that they share Yumi? Yumi feels her mind approach meltdown. Careful to keep this out of her body language and her voice, she continues.

-Do you really love me, Sachiko? Do you want me? Would you really have said anything if Sei was not in the picture?

And the heart of the issue:

-Is this love, Sachiko, or is it possessiveness?

There is a plaintive note in Yumi's voice that she cannot suppress. Her heart is aching. Sachiko says that she is in love with her, and this will dictate Yumi's actions. Yumi does not want to believe in it, because it is too late, realistically speaking. And yet, neither can she shake the flutter of excitement in her at the thought of Sachiko being in love with her. Nor can she ignore the longing in her for Sachiko, or the warmth building in her belly as she holds Sachiko's face in her hand, the thought that she can just lean in, and drag that longing into being, make it concrete. This disturbs her. She drops her hand from Sachiko's face, folds her arms, and waits for Sachiko to speak.

-I believe that it is love, Yumi. What am I going to do?

The emotion in Sachiko's voice tugs again at Yumi. Tugs and pulls and hooks. That bond, that love, that everything beats in Yumi like the heart in her chest. The sound of tears close to the surface breaks Yumi. Yumi puts her arms around Sachiko again, and pulls her in. Her wish is to comfort, her intent is to be the rock in Sachiko's river. Sachiko returns the hug, letting out a sigh.

-What do I do?

And Sachiko is crying now. Not loudly, not sobbing, but she is crying, Yumi can feel her tears on her face. Yumi hugs her tighter, Sachiko returns the pressure. Yumi cradles Sachiko's head in one of her hands, keeping her in place, rubbing her cheek on hers. And somewhere, their faces slide further, like they did earlier, and the question about the feel of Sachiko's lips gets an answer. Yumi is not sure who is initiating the kiss, but the fact remains that they are kissing, and kissing hard. Her hands are tangling in Sachiko's hair, her body pressing against Sachiko's longer one, and Yumi wants her to stop crying, as she can taste the salt of Sachiko's tears in her mouth as they drip down their faces. Can feel the hitch in the other girl's chest, and Sachiko is pulling her tighter, leaning into her, and is moaning. Yumi knows she has to stop this, has to bring them back to reality, but it is so hard. She just wants Sachiko to stop crying, hates the fact that she is the one who is making her cry.

And the kiss is good. The kiss has heat. The kiss is full of longing and pent up emotion, and Yumi feels like she can see Sachiko, truly see her for the first time in this darkness. Can see that everything would have eventually led here. Sachiko's hands are moving on her back, and now she is pushing Yumi, is pushing her back, leaning more heavily on her, and Yumi feels her libido straining, as this kiss goes on, and the thought that this is Sachiko doing this, her Onee-sama, is making her dizzy, is pushing the reality she is striving for far away. Sachiko is kissing her hard, is pushing her against the shelf under the window behind them. Yumi is kissing back just as hard, her arms around Sachiko's shoulders tight, her grip in Sachiko's hair firm, and something is shifting in Yumi, and all she can think is that she wants to touch more of Sachiko, she wants to make the tears go away. Sachiko is pressing harder into her, and Yumi can feel the bite of the shelf into her back.

They are moaning into each other, with this hard kiss. They are breathing heavily. Yumi feels helpless in this situation. She is guilty of enjoying this kiss, that the knowingness of Sachiko surprises her. The soft feel of Sachiko's lips coupled with the pressure she is putting into this kiss. She can feel Sachiko trying to prove her point, as well as just kiss her. She is enjoying it, and the feel of Sachiko nearly on top of her, she is leaning into her so much. She can feel the press of he other woman's breasts against her, and she feels like something in her is loosening. She thinks that her lips will surely be bruised by this kiss if it goes on much longer, and how is she supposed to explain that to Sei?

And with that reminder of why she came here in the first place, she gets the shock she needs for action. She breaks the kiss, taking her hands from Sachiko's hair, she places them on her shoulders, and pushes.

-No, Onee-sama.

Yumi is grasping for air, and feels her heart thundering in her chest. With her hands on Sachiko's shoulders, she feels the strength of the bond they share, and that betraying wetness between her legs, the feeling that makes her want to pull Sachiko fully on top of her, and quench that longing that she has carried so long for this girl. That new knowledge that is part of her now, that she knows how to end this, and in a way it would be so easy, in the short term, to do, so she never has to taste the saltiness of Sachiko's tears again. By pulling, instead of pushing, she could...

What could she do? Resume kissing Sachiko? Perhaps have sex with Sachiko? To what end? Yumi, again, feels awful. It has a different taste, though, this particular brand of awful. She feels the depth of her ineptitude, feels stupid, and young, and way, way, in over her head. She knows that she is in love with Sei. Sei she slept with, and changed her life with. Sei is truly, the only person she thought to do that with. But there is Sachiko, whose gaze she can feel even in the dark, who was kissing her with abandon just a few seconds ago. Sachiko, her Onee-sama, to whom Yumi is staunch in her loyalty to. Not just loyalty, but love. She loves Sachiko, beyond any kind of reason, beyond any doubt. Yumi will always feel that she is not good enough in some ways to be with Sachiko, and perhaps this is the feeling that has always kept her more earthy desires for Sachiko in check.

It has been mentioned, in more flowery language, said to flatter not to disparage, that it is Yumi's very ordinariness that makes Sachiko relax, allows Sachiko to love. Allows Sachiko to be seventeen, be a girl, enjoy herself as much as she can, within the confines of all the obligations and expectations heaped on her because she was unfortunate enough to be born into a certain social strata. That all of this she lets go of when she has Yumi. But, Yumi thinks, this is not her problem. She can love her Onee-sama, and until recently she had no reason to think that is was anything more than a typical school-girl, more-than-platonic-less-than-sexual arrangement. No reason to think that her beloved Onee-sama had actually fallen for her. Not only that, but some of the members of the Yamayurikai seemed have noticed it, and said nothing. Yumi understands this, again, on an intellectual level, but some part of her wishes that she was not just put in a place to ease another girl's loneliness. That she is Yumi, and she has a life to live as well, and that her heart is her own. She can love her Onee-sama, but at what cost?

-No, Onee-sama.

She repeats outside what she kind of doubts on the inside, that she does not want to say no, but that saying yes would be an even bigger lie. Why would she be saying yes? What would that yes actually mean? Would she say yes just so she can not feel bad any more, so that Sachiko will not cry? And would she not feel worse betraying the woman she is actually involved with? She thinks clearly of Satou Sei, her sleepy kisses this morning, the laughter in the shower before they left for school. The fast and furious tryst they had this afternoon in this same place, followed by the comfort of Sei's arms, as she helped Yumi put her uniform back together. The talking and laughter, the touch of someone who knows her intimately now, and perhaps, knows her better than Sachiko, as Sei took the time to study Yumi, get to know her, as a friend, and then as a lover. So many things, this Satou Sei. A jack of all trades, but a master of none. Not yet. Sei, like Yumi, is still growing up.

And yet...and yet, with Sachiko, even with Sei in the room, her eyes still follow Sachiko. She is her Onee-sama after all, but she is not just looking for direction and guidance. She is looking at Sachiko with a teeny bit of lust, is she not? Her crush is one thing. This crush Yumi knows well, and she would not be alone in crushing on the older girl in this school. She was, and still is, attracted to Sachiko. Exactly how much of a difference lies in Sachiko's touch and Sei's touch? Sei has backed up her promises, has made her attraction clear and they have acted on it. Yet there is a similarity in it. Yumi wonders, being as honest as she can, did she dismiss Sachiko in favour of Sei because she felt that Sachiko was out of her reach? Yumi feels extremely uncomfortable now, because this undermines her relationship with Sei. Would Sei know what to do with this? Since Sei, her attitude to the girls around her has changed. She looks at other girls differently now, with eyes that can appreciate the inherent sexiness of another person, with hands that have brought so much pleasure to another. And her body, it has been opened like a book, and read intently and with much attention to detail. This detail is translating itself into Yumi's awakening sense of the sensual side of herself. Is that why she finally recognised the intentions of Sachiko? There are many things she has not spoken to Sei about, and now she wishes she had.

-Yumi, why not?

-Because I am in love with Sei, Sachiko, and that is not going to change any time soon.

-It is possible to love more than one person.

-That's not possible for everybody. This love is something new for me. I just found it, I wouldn't know how to split that in two. I don't want to.

Sachiko finally sits back, taking her weight and hands off Yumi. Yumi breaths a small sigh of relief, and sits up properly herself. They sit in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts. The darkness in complete, and Yumi wonders what time it is. She wonders how this is going to end tonight, what words she can say that can leave them at something approaching a resolution. Sachiko seems to have found a solution, but it is not one that Yumi is at all comfortable with. And like she already said, this is not a decision she can make on her own. Part of her wishes that Sei was here, and part of her is glad she is not. To say that Yumi has conflict, would be an understatement.

-I want to try with you, Yumi. Honestly try. With Sei's consent.

Yumi is not entirely sure she has heard right.

-What?

Yumi's voice comes out faint, like most of the air in her lungs is elsewhere, and her sound is an accidental passing of left over air through her vocal cords.

-I want to ask Sei for the chance to date my own petite soeur.

There is a finality in Sachiko's voice. She has made up her mind that this is the way to find out if she is in the running.

-What about asking me?

Sachiko begins to speak, but stops herself. The atmosphere is different, suddenly. Is this what they mean by a pregnant pause, Yumi wonders. Because this is a pause full of something. She is going to ask me. Yumi can feel sweat breaking out on herself. Of all the times to be asked out on a date by her Onee-sama. Not just any date, but a romantic one, one full of promise for something entirely unlike their previous date. Here, in Lillian they call it going on a date, however the intent is not romantic, but for people to just get to know each other better. They call it going on a date, because it is almost romantic in nature, but stops just short of being the real thing. They call it dating when it is just friends going for tea and cakes. Like all the girls in this school are drawing their breath and getting ready for something.

Yumi looks up through the windows that are the roof of the greenhouse, and she looks up at the stars.

I exhale.

She may want Sachiko. In fact, she knows that her date with Sachiko was more than platonic, and that is the plateau until recently their particular relationship sat on. For her, for Yumi, it is a happy place, a place where she is getting to know Sachiko, is finding her way around this complicated girl, but still, there is a thrill in being the object of Sachiko's attentions. A definite pleasure in being on the receiving end of those gentle smiles, those hugs and uniform fixings. Is it sexual? Is there that tension, like when Yumi looks at Sei? Yumi reaches out her hand, and feels for Sachiko's. She finds it, and holds it in her own, circling her thumb on the back of it. There is something. She can feel it, even holding her hand. She can feel the excitement of just being with Sachiko. Her gorgeous Onee-sama, the one she yearned for, watched and wanted, and through a surprising set of circumstances, got. She gets jealous over her, cares deeply for her, and in the end, she hungers for her.

It is not the same as with Sei. With Sei it is different, entirely different. It was, from the start, a flirtation. It was from the start, a maybe. Another complicated woman, but one who knows what she wants, knows who she wants to love, and that is an excitement on a completely different level. Sei is living and learning, but she is doing as well. She is reaching out her hand, and grasping Yumi's and pulling them into a delicious world all of their own. Has Sachiko been as brave? Conversely, can one make a choice, if one does not know those choices are there? There is an ache in Yumi's heart, building up from months of wanting. Months of discovering sexuality with both Sei and Sachiko. And it was the both of them. Yumi learned yearning from Sachiko, she learned a sense of freedom from Sei. And that is just scratching the surface of all she has learned from her beloved seniors. Her school family. She feels Sachiko ready herself.

-I need to talk to Sei, Sachiko. Give me some time? Please?

Sachiko deflates.

-Is that a nice way of saying no, Yumi?

Is it? Yumi squeezes Sachiko's hand again, noting that her pulse is picking up again. She laughs suddenly, perhaps inappropriately.

-What's funny?

-I was just thinking that once you take the lid off a jar, it never fits properly again.

-...

-It means that I am not saying no.

I exhale.

-Nor does it mean yes. I have fallen in love, Sachiko, but it is not the first time. I am saying that we talk to Sei together, and if she is not comfortable, then this is over. I will always be your petite soeur, I will always love you as one of the most important people in my life, but that is all. And it means that I hope you will feel the same.

-Before? You have fallen in love before?

Yumi reaches up her other hand to Sachiko, finding her face by the sound of her voice. Cupping it, she leans in to rest her forehead against the side of Sachiko's head, her lips close to her ear.

-Yes, and perhaps I still am in love a little. As are you, Sachiko, as is Sei.

-We didn't come to this point without some experience.

-Exactly.

Yumi pushes Sachiko's hair out of the way, tucking the silky strands behind her ear, and leans in closer.

-I really am in love with her Sachiko, as far as I can judge these things. But do you know what I learned in the last few days?

-What?

A whisper, a sigh.

-My heart is bigger and stronger that I ever thought it could be. And that I am such a lucky girl. To have the love of such people around me, is amazing. To hold these people in my heart, to have them as friends...I never thought such things were to be mine. To have Sei as a lover, to know you love me so much...

Yumi can feel her own tears now. Her emotions are bubbling up into something quite uncontrollable. She understands the power of this love, this vast love she is floating in. There will be trouble ahead, oh, no doubt. But for this one moment, with the smell of Sachiko surrounding her, and the warmth of her face in her hand, the thought of Sei's glinting eyes, wicked smile and gentle touch, Yoshino's concern for her today. It feels almost too much.

-I made my choice, Onee-sama.

She is crying properly now. Sachiko's arms are around her again, and this is an Onee-sama hug, comforting, wanting nothing, offering everything.

-I made my choice, but you are my Onee-sama, and I love you. I love you so much.

Yumi reaches her arms around Sachiko's neck, and holds on, like she wanted to earlier today. Sachiko is offering this comfort, and Yumi wants it. She cannot articulate all that she wants to say, cannot even think it. She is only vaguely aware of her feelings, and that she perhaps wants to give Sachiko the chance to love her like Sei does, that Yumi is aware that the pull of desire is in her when she looks at Sachiko. Before it was just a notion, but being with Sei has crystallised these feelings, giving them a name. And it is Sachiko, of all people. Sachiko. The torch she has carried was beginning to extinguish under the glorious weight of Sei's love, is kindling again.

-We talk to Sei, but a no is a no, Sachiko. And no means you let it go, and love me like a sister.

Yumi says this and wonders if she is being reasonable. Wonders if it is possible to look at the person you are in love with and pretend otherwise. That is what she is asking Sachiko to do. To pretend that she is not in love with Yumi, pretend that she does not want to kiss her and hold her, like a lover, not a sister. To deny and let die that part of her. Is that really possible? If Sachiko demanded that she stop seeing Sei, at least until Sei graduated, could she comply? No, is the honest answer, even if it meant giving up Sachiko's bond.

Yumi, being young, does not want to lose anybody. She wants her people to stay where they are, and she is discovering that she is willing to go to extraordinary lengths to achieve just that. These girls are her rocks. Her handholds on a cliff face. And, impossibly, she wants everybody to be happy. Her heart is huge and wants to please everybody. The bond and attraction, the love she has for Sachiko cannot be neatly put away, the way she is asking Sachiko to do with her own love. What she is asking is that Sachiko be her senior, be her Onee-sama, and try to take care of this for her. This and more is fuelling the tears, the upset. Yumi is no coward, but there is only so much she can realistically handle by herself. Now she will be looking to her seniors to help her out with this.

-Can you do that? Can you let me go, in that way at least?

Sachiko is silent, but is rocking Yumi in her arms. Eventually, she loosens her hold on Yumi, and pulls back.

-I promise to try, Yumi. Please don't ask more than that.

And that is good enough.

Sachiko gives a lift to Yumi as far as the station, where Yumi requested to be dropped off. After assurances that she is fine, and that she just needs to get some air before she goes home, they say goodbye. Yumi waves off the black car as it departs. She goes inside the still busy station. She looks up at the huge clock on the wall, and sees that it is only just after six. It is pretty early yet. She is not in a hurry to go home, is not really ready to go home. She feels just fine standing in the station, the salarymen and office ladies, humanity, streaming around her. She is not alone and neither is she with anyone. She does not want to go back to her house, with her family, to her room, alone with her thoughts.

There was a proposition made today, and while she did not agree to it, she agreed to consider it. What exactly has she agreed to? Did she just agree, that if all parties are amenable to it, that they should what? All date? Share herself between two people, in every way?

-What have I done?

She whispers to herself, standing in a busy Tokyo suburban train station, one of those places where people only ever pass through, is built for movement and transportation. This place that is a major part of people's days but nobody ever invests any time thinking about unless something goes wrong, and that is never. Yumi cannot recall a time when the train has never come when it is supposed to. This service is reliable. Comparing herself to the Tokyo train system, she feels that she falls short. Her body is not reliable. It let her down today. Her heart is not faring much better in the reliability stakes either.

She wanders over to the bank of drink and food machines. She is gazing idly at them and all the choices they present. There is a flavour for every moment of the day. She reaches out her hand as she walks along, brushing over the gaudy loud machines, lost in thought. This question of choosing is consuming her. She has told Sachiko that she has made her choice. She has chosen Sei. But if Sei were to say yes to...whatever it is, this...arrangement, she would not have to choose, or perhaps put it off for a time. Yumi knows, as she stops at a machine, and begins rooting in her pocket for some change, that the choice is uneven. She has fallen, and fallen hard for Sei. But Sachiko was first in her heart, yet has no comparison to what she has with Sei. Her overwhelming need to protect Sachiko is checking her, though. Knowing now for certain how Sachiko loves her, she cannot back away from that. Something is holding her from just snipping this in the bud. Is encouraging her thoughts in a direction that never entered her consideration.

Pulling some coins from her pocket, she stands for a while counting them, seeing she does not have enough, she begins searching her other pocket. A hand reaches over her shoulder, and inserts some coins.

-Buy you a drink, Yumi?

Yumi looks up at the sound of that well known and loved voice, and reflecting in the mirror-like surface of the machine is Sei's face, smiling at her. Yumi reaches out her hand, and touches the face in the machine. And starts crying.

-Yumi?

Yumi punches a button at random, not wanting to waste the money, even now. Still crying, she bends down to retrieve the can, and tucks it into her school bag. Sei's hands are on her shoulders, squeezing and rubbing. It feels good. Yumi is not feeling brave enough to turn around yet. She can only look at Sei's reflected face, which is no longer smiling.

-Did it go very badly?

Yumi gathers herself, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. She is in a public place after all. She keeps her eyes on the reflection, concentrates on the touch on her shoulders, and centres herself.

-Yes and no.

She answers, leaning back into Sei, feeling the solidity of Sei, which is juxtaposing strangely with the reflection. She watches the reflection lower, and she feels Sei's face beside her own.

-What do you want to do?

Sei asks, whispering into Yumi, giving Yumi some control. Yumi leans her head against Sei's and sighs. What does she want to do? What is she going to do? Not having an immediate answer, she puts it off.

-Why are you still here, by the way?

-Subject change, huh? I can do that for a while. I didn't feel like going back to the house just yet. After last night, it would feel a bit lonely, so I thought I would prolong it.

-I didn't know you were so romantic.

Sei chuckles at this, the vibration of which Yumi feels through her back.

-I'm surprisingly soppy, Yumi-chan. Does that put you off? It's a surprise to me, and it puts me off a bit.

Yumi laughs, her tears drying up. She finally turns in Sei's hold and faces her. She looks up into that beautiful face, the lights of the machines casting strange colours on the planes of it, accentuating the high cheekbones and the clear brow. The grey eyes revealing a whole world of thoughts and feelings. Yumi smiles, reaching up to caress Sei's forehead, sweeping the tawny hair back off it, continuing on through her hair and stopping to cup the nape of Sei's neck. How did it come to this, her mind idly pursues. How did she get to this place, where two girls such as Satou Sei and Ogasawara Sachiko are in love with her? Who am I, that I should have such things? Gazing into Sei, she thinks: you bleed your soul out through your eyes, Sei. It is what makes you so dangerous.

-Back on topic, Yumi. What do you want to do? Because I want to kiss you, but we might start a small, well-mannered riot if we do that here.

-I want to kiss you too. I want to feel you in me.

Sei is clearly taken aback by this admission, such a bold declaration. Yumi is too. It sort of slipped out, because that is what she is thinking, looking at the odd sci-fi arrangement of colours on Sei's clear face. Yumi sees the heat of desire fill Sei, and her own body responds. She wants to be naked and igniting a fire with Sei. She wants Sei to drive the world back, make it just the two of them again. If Sei wants to be a protector, by god, Yumi wants to let her be so tonight, even if she is only protecting Yumi from her own decisions, her own whirling mind. Yumi knows she is being selfish, and has been carrying this feeling already. She has felt selfish all day. It is a feeling she tries to guard against, with its resultant consequences. She is learning that when you want everything, you run the risk of losing everything.

Sei's mouth looks ready for a kiss, and Yumi remembers at that precise moment her promise to always be as honest as she can be. With herself as well as with those who matter most to her. She is experiencing this reminder at the same time as experiencing the intense excitement that exists between her and Sei. Those guilty turned on feelings she suffered earlier with Sachiko are back full force, with a different flavour of guilt, that is definitely not as strong. She feels like she is dying inside with want of Sei. She so badly wants to be with her. She knows all of this is showing on her face, as she sees the match of it reflecting from Sei's eyes. She wants to be open and wet for Sei, wants the divine pleasure of Sei sliding her fingers inside her. Maybe that thing she did with her tongue. Which reminds her. Pulling Sei's head down, Yumi whispers in her ear.

-Sei, that thing you did with your tongue last night, where did you learn to do that?

-Porn.

-Sorry, sorry I asked. I'll never ask again.

Sei starts to laugh and pulls Yumi close to her.

-Do you want me to do it again?

-Oh god...

Yumi squeaks out, causing Sei to laugh more, and hidden by their gabardines, pushes herself against Yumi. Yumi feels the strength about to leave her legs, and with a gargantuan show of fortitude, she pulls herself back. Her body wants her to abandon all sense of propriety and rub herself against Sei, right now, against the drinks machines maybe. Her mind, however, supplies her with a pang of conscience. She cannot. She has to talk with Sei, has to confess. She has to tell her about the kiss and Sachiko's proposition. Now is not the time to get lost. Taking a deep breath, she rests her head against Sei's shoulder, and pushes down her want.

-Can you spend another night away from home, Yumi?

-Probably not. I need fresh clothes. Why don't you come home with me?

-Meet the elder Fukuzawas?

-Yup, and tomorrow is Sunday. If you want to, we can spend it together. And...we need to talk about something.

There must be a particular tone in Yumi's voice that alerts Sei. She pulls back from Yumi, and there is an uneasiness on her face. Sei gives Yumi a searching look, before smiling and nodding.

-I could 'help you with your homework'.

Sei says, the suggestion in her voice causing ripples in Yumi's body. Stepping away from Sei, stooping briefly to pick up her bag, and hand Sei's to her, Yumi grabs Sei's free hand.

-Indeed, Rosa Gigantea. There is this particularly difficult problem I couldn't possibly work out on my own.

Turning from Sei, and leading them to the turnstiles, she adds

-It may take a long time to work through it, but I'm sure we will get there in the end.

Yumi hears Sei snort. She is deliberately being flirtatious. She wants a genuine smile on Sei's face. Not that, considering what they need to discuss, she feels she really deserves that smile, but she has missed Sei. She knows that Sei has missed her too. And for at least the length of the commute to her home, she wants them to have that connection that makes them 'them'. Because there is a 'them', and Yumi wants to enjoy some of it now in case it is not there later on. Sei squeezes her hand and stretching out her long legs, catches up to walk side by side with her.

-I'm good with problems.

-Yes, Sei. Yes, you are.

They are through the turnstiles and out onto the platform. With the warmth of Sei's hand in hers, she feels a little better. With Sei's shoulder brushing against hers, she feels a little stronger. As they go to one of the free benches and sit down, Yumi feels the truth of her words to Sachiko. She has made her choice. But why does she waver in the face of her Onee-sama? She questions herself, sitting here in the train station, with her chosen one rummaging in her school bag beside her. Attraction and sex aside, they were never the only feelings she had for Sei, though they are big ones. It is this support. Yumi knows Sei was actually waiting for her, taking the chance that Yumi would come this way eventually.

The depth of caring that Sei has shown for Yumi from the start, as if Yumi was her soeur, helping her to negotiate the Yamayurikai and Sachiko. At times, she was more like an Onee-sama than Sachiko. Perhaps because she was on the outside, she could be objective. Sei's own relationship with Shimako is odd, to say the least, but appears to be problem free. Perhaps that is why she took such an active interest in Yumi and Sachiko's budding soeurship. While Yumi feels that she will never fully be able to follow the twists and turns of Sei's mind, she is confident that she can traverse the hills and valleys of Sei's heart. That she can be brave when Sei doubts. But what does she do when she doubts herself? Be brave for herself, she supposes. Or ask for help.

Reflecting further, she thinks that this is something Sei and Sachiko have in passing common. Where Sei hides behind flirting and touching, and Sachiko maintains a cold indifference and distance, they are both uncomfortable with their emotions. They both use intellect as a shield. And both have been hurt badly. Even if the circumstances vary greatly, heartbreak is heartbreak, and tears taste the same from everybody. Yumi snuggles a bit closer to Sei, who hands her a packet of pocky sticks. Yumi slides a couple out, grinning at Sei actually possessing them, and sticks one in her mouth. Ruminatively sucking at the chocolate, Yumi thinks that love is a force of nature, like an earthquake or a typhoon. It cannot be controlled, feeling cannot be reined, only the actions and reactions it provokes. Yumi, in her own Yumi way, her expanding, growing Yumi way, is recognising the power of love. That it hurts as well as heals.

So, she has made her choice in Sei. And now she is going to ask something of Sei she does not think she has the right to ask. She is going to test the limits of this new love, try the boundaries of the friendship this love is built on. She hears the train coming and feels the stirring of Sei beside her. They stand up, keeping the contact between them. They step onto the train when it arrives and opens its doors, disgorging and gobbling people at the same time. Yumi requests the use of Sei's phone so she can let her parents know that she will have company with her. Her mother sounds excited at the prospect of finally meeting Sei, the highly regarded senior and member of the Yamayurikai. Yumi smiles at her mother's words, hearing the years fall away and she sounds like the Lillian student she once was. Yumi feels happiness at this, knowing that Sei has impeccable manners and infinite patience, and will be only too happy to answer any questions about school her mother will have. She says goodbye, and hands the phone back to Sei, thanking her. She warns Sei about her mother's excitement at meeting her. Sei laughs good naturedly, and says that actually, she is looking forward to hearing about her mother's time in Lillian. Pretending seriousness, Yumi says that Sei may live to regret saying that.

-Have they met Sachiko yet?

-No, only spoken to her on the phone. My father is acquainted with Onee-sama's, though. How, I don't know, I think they knew each other in college or something. She has driven me home a few times, but never comes in.

-Sachiko is shy when she has the luxury of it.

Yumi is quiet for a little while after Sei says this. Youko once said to her, before she became Sachiko's petite soeur, that Sachiko will always do what is expected of her. Youko said a number of things at that time, things that took Yumi a while to understand. Yumi really only has a vague idea of the life Sachiko leads outside of school. There are facets of her life Sachiko chooses not to share with her. Yumi gathers though, that the amount of grooming that Sachiko receives is not for fun. Yumi compares herself to Sachiko often, sometimes derogatorily, sometimes gladly. Yumi leads, for the most part, a typical teenagers life, and all that entails. There are no particular obligations on her. She is expected to be polite and obedient, do well in school, the usual things. And she has never given her parents much to worry about. Yuuki either, for that matter. Her parents have never expressed any particular goals for either of them. University is perhaps the only expectation she can think of, and this is something she is in accord with.

While arranged marriages are not, strictly speaking, the norm any more, they are still quite common in certain echelons of Japanese society. Yumi attends Lillian, and they are not unheard of even at her age. Marriage interviews are sometimes the topic of conversations in her class. However, they appear to be more the case that parents are being polite to certain acquaintances, or business associates, and consent to the interview, even an engagement, but the actual marriage itself is still very much up for debate. To face the reality of this with Onee-sama is hard to stomach though, considering that it is tantamount to a business deal, and the man in question has absolutely no interest in Sachiko as a woman, let alone a wife.

Yumi looks at Sei.

-Have you ever had a marriage interview?

Sei explodes with laughter.

-God, no. Yumi!

-What? It's not that outrageous a suggestion.

Sei calms down but is still grinning broadly.

-What's with that all of a sudden? Bringing me home isn't a trick is it? Setting me up with Yuuki-chan?

-No!

-Want me to ask your father for your hand maybe?

-No! Shut up. I was just wondering about it.

Yumi is smiling though as well. She whuffs a laugh at the thought of Sei, perhaps in formal dress, meeting various men her father has chosen, which leads her to other thoughts.

-I'd love to see you in a yakuta.

-Seriously, what is going on in your head?

-Just thinking.

-I think you should stop.

-Make me.

It is a challenge. Sei's grin widens even further.

-I will sincerely give it my all, Yumi.

They spend the rest of their journey grinning at each other.

They get to Yumi's station, and then have to wait for a bus. They are among quite a few people at this time. Yumi is leaning against the railing by the stop, Sei is beside her and they are enjoying a companionable silence. It is cold, and Yumi struggles not to inch closer to Sei, seeking the warmth by her side, and close contact with Sei's body. Sei's hand is resting on the railing, hidden by Yumi's body, and she is stroking Yumi's back. This will have to do for now.

-I'm nervous about meeting your parents.

-It's a bit sudden, I'm sorry. But I need to go home.

-I know, I'm not blaming you. I'm just getting jittery.

-A bit serious, isn't it, meeting my parents? Especially now.

Yumi injects some lightness into her voice, attempting to make a joke out of it. Yumi is nervous as well. Not only about Sei meeting her parents, but about what comes later. The lightness gains some weight. Sei agrees, mentioning quietly that she cannot be introduced as anything but a friend, that this is making her tense. Yumi detects a slight frustration in her voice. Trying to soothe her somewhat, just as quietly, she says that Sei is her friend among other things. That introducing her as so will not diminish her value to Yumi, or how they feel about each other. Sei, smiling, says that is not the point, but not to worry about it. Yumi says nothing more, knowing that it is not the point, but she is powerless to change that. And powerless to make Sei feel any better about this. Yumi, finally giving into the temptation, inches closer to Sei, says that this will have to be a secret love for the time being. Sei is smiling, a real smile this time, informing Yumi that there is a song called My Secret Love from an American musical. Yumi laughs at this, making Sei laugh when she says cool, they have a theme tune. Sei responds that Yumi should hold off on assigning them that theme tune until she actually hears the song.

Finally the bus approaches, and everybody shuffles in unison, like a flock of slightly startled birds. The two of them say little on the bus, merely occasionally swapping random bits of information about their day. Yumi knows that Sei is playing along with her. The incident in the train station is not forgotten. She feels it in every look and exchange. The way Sei is carefully watching her, even when she is joking. Then out of the blue, Sei asks her seriously is she needs help with her homework. This offer surprises a laugh out of Yumi, more at the randomness of it that the actual offer. She shakes her head, and thanks Sei for her concern. Being with Sachiko has enabled her to pull ahead in her studies, turning her from an average student to a near excellent one, much to her parents delight. It is not easy for her, as studying and school work does not come naturally to her, if she is honest. However, being in the Yamayurikai has forced her to pay attention to her studies. They really are the cream of the crop, and Yumi, at Sachiko's insistence, must maintain that image. The last few days though, have tested that commitment. When she gets a chance to breathe, she will have to catch up. She grimaces at the thought.

-Why the face?

Sei nudges at her.

-School. I've been a bit distracted lately.

Sei looks remorseful at this admission, and Yumi hugs her arm.

-I can catch up.

Sei remains looking thoughtful. They come to Yumi's stop, and disembark from the bus. It is a quick, cold, five minute walk to Yumi's house. They stop at the gate.

-Ready?

Yumi enquires, still hugging Sei's arm. Sei takes a few deep breaths and nods.

-Yup. Your mother always sounds lovely on the phone, and Yuuki is nice. No worries.

-Dad's not bad either. It might sound like boasting, but they are OK parents.

Sei disentangles her arm, and briefly hugs Yumi.

-Then thank you for taking me to meet them.

Releasing Yumi, she sketches a quick bow, and signals for Yumi to lead on.

And the evening is worry free. The Fukuzawas are hospitable and welcoming to Sei. Being a well respected senior of Yumi's, they treat her like family, and promptly sit her down for dinner. Yuuki, already known to Sei, greets her less formally, but just as cordially. Yumi's mother peppers her with questions about school and the Yamayurikai, which Sei fields expertly and with humour. She respectfully answers Yumi's father's questions about her parents, and explains that they are away at the moment, and how nice it was to have Yumi stay over last night. Yumi's mother thanks her for looking after Yumi, and that instead of school nights, perhaps on weekends she can stay with her, if Sei's parents are going to be away for a while. Or she can stay with the Fukuzawas. Sei smiles broadly at Yumi's parents, thanking them for their kind offer. Yumi hides her excitement of the innocent parental consent to be with Sei, knowing that if they knew the real reason, it would be out of the question. She plays it cool, but is actually squirming at the thought of nights with Sei. Sei, of course, gives no hint as to what she is thinking, merely expresses her gratitude in the most polite manner, as one might expect from a senior from Lillian.

Yumi feels a hint of pride as she watches Sei with her parents, the same sort of pride she feels when Sachiko does something terribly grown-up in her presence. Another passing commonality that Sei and Sachiko share, is their handling of adults. However, it is Sei who is sent to deal with the various companies the Yamayurikai order supplies from, or who is asked to go and deal with delivery men, or pick things up. It is just something she is good at. It is strikingly at odds with her more playful side. Along with that hint of pride, there are other, more complex feelings Yumi is having during the evening with Sei and her parents. Yumi often forgets that, technically, Sei is an adult, and that perhaps she has been an adult much longer than is considered such by the legal definition. Yumi finds that this thought troubles her. She thinks of Sei's big empty house. She thinks of that slightly bitter smile. She suddenly wants to hug Sei.

The evening is passing in a pleasant fashion, Yumi's troubling thoughts notwithstanding, and finally dinner is over. Sei compliments Yumi's mother on the meal, and offers to do the dishes. Yumi's mother gently rebuffs her, thanking her for the offer, but she is sure that a bath would not go amiss, that it is heated and ready for them. They both nod in agreement to this, leaving the table, with thanks from the both of them, and move toward the stairs. Yumi stops to pick up their bags and leads the way. Just as they get to the door of Yumi's bedroom, Sei inquires if there is anything in there she should be warned about, like, say, a shrine to Sachiko. Yumi laughs and punches Sei on the shoulder, saying that there are a few photos, but that anything really incriminating has been hidden away. Sei insists she will search for anything shrine-like while Yumi is asleep. Laughing and joking, Yumi opens the door to her room, and flicks on the light, revealing a room very, very boring in its ordinariness. Sei bobs her head in some sort of bow, and enters the room, Yumi closes the door behind her. And of course, Sei goes straight to where Yumi's photos are, pinned to a cork-board.

Yumi suddenly remembers that there is a picture of Sei there, taken a while back by Tsutako-san. She had seen it on a day when Tsutako-san had shown Yumi some of her collection. Yumi had dropped by the Photography club to ask about something else, and a picture of Sei was being prepared for the Newspaper club's story on the White Rose family. Tsutako-san showed Yumi the picture she now has pinned to her board, saying this was the picture she took before Sei actually posed for the official one. The more posed one would be used for the front cover. Tsutako-san said she preferred this one, but she didn't get the final say in it. Yumi agreed, comparing the two pictures, and asked Tsutako-san if she could have that one. It was of Sei sitting on a bench, one of many that litter the grounds of Lillian, and she is relaxed, smiling, her legs crossed, with one arm stretched out across the back of the bench, and the other resting on the arm of it. Yumi thought at the time that Sei looked so inviting, that she would have paid for this picture. The posed one was of Sei sitting more properly on the bench, with her legs uncrossed and at a demure angle, her hands folded in her lap, her face not so happy, but still so gorgeous. Yumi knows for a fact that this picture was stuck into notebooks of quite a few of her classmates. It is Yumi's second favourite picture, after the one of Sachiko and herself in front of Maria-sama.

There are other pictures of course. Some old ones of Sachiko, some of Yuuki and her parents, various friends from school, and some of the other members of the Yamayurikai. All the school ones taken by Tsutako-san, and freely given to Yumi, for no other reasons than Yumi wanted them, and Tsutako-san's natural fondness for Yumi. They are all pictures of them when they are not posing, when they are just being themselves, which is how Yumi knows them best and makes her the happiest. She hears Sei's little sound of happiness at seeing her picture stuck on the board, and turns around to face Sei's inevitable teasing.

-Even then you...

-Don't say it. Whatever you are going to say, don't.

-But Yumi! There's a picture of me in your room.

-I don't think I'm the only one, though.

A look of smug knowingness sits firmly on Sei's face.

-I'm popular with the first years, aren't I?

-If you already know that, why ask?

-I want the hard facts. Spill.

Yumi thinks about it.

-You're not Sachiko popular, but among the actual Rosas, you are the most talked about. You big flirt.

-I wonder why I'm not more popular than Sachiko?

-Because you're a big flirt.

-It's a double edged blade, being this sexy.

Yumi puts her face in her hand and starts laughing, dropping the two bags from her other hand. Sei wanders over to Yumi's bookshelves, and begins perusing the titles.

-No. Way.

-What?

-Plato's Republic?

-Did you think all I would read are manga and light novels?

Sei looks over her shoulder at Yumi, shame replacing her smugness.

-I don't know you very well, do I?

-Don't feel bad about it, not many do. My interests are my own, and of no concern to others.

-You were destined for the Chinensis family, Yumi. If I wasn't looking straight at you, I would have thought it was Sachiko speaking.

-She has been teaching me well.

-But teaching you what?

Yumi is about to answer with something glib, when she finds she cannot answer at all. What has Sachiko been teaching her? She shakes her head, and looks at Sei's back, still at her bookshelves. What has Sei been teaching her? Thoughtfully, she begins to pull her tie apart. They have both taught her love, that she can answer with certainty. Lost in thought, she gets a start when Sei's hands appear in front of her to help her with the removal of her uniform. Yumi looks up, and smiles at Sei's knowing grin, and gives up taking her own uniform off.

Sei bends to kiss Yumi, and Yumi feels her simmering desire jump-start. She lifts her arms to wrap them around Sei's neck and entangle her hands in Sei's hair. Sei hugs Yumi to her and deepens their kiss. They quietly begin moaning, rocking against each other. Yumi feels her previous fortitude slipping away in the face of Sei's need, nearly giving up altogether when Sei starts to direct her toward her bed. Sei's mouth leaves hers to kiss her neck, one of her hands reaching between them to gently cup Yumi's groin through her uniform, massaging with knowledgeable fingers. Yumi presses onto Sei's hand, biting her lip to restrain the groan that is about to slip out. She wants nothing more than to fall back onto the bed and open her legs for Sei. But...

-Wait, Sei.

Yumi manages to gasp out, tugging on Sei's hair to get her attention. Sei stops kissing her neck.

-Sachiko can wait, Yumi.

Yumi opens her mouth again.

-So can the bath.

Sei adds, increasing the pressure on Yumi's crotch. Yumi tightens her grip in Sei's hair unbidden, and bites Sei's shoulder to keep herself quiet. This causes Sei to surge against her, letting go of Yumi's groin in order to use both of her hands to pull up Yumi's skirt, driving them in earnest toward the bed. Yumi feels the edge of her bed bump against the back of her knees, and gives up. She wants this too badly, so badly wants the feel of Sei loving her. Smiling to herself, taking her teeth off Sei's shoulder, despite everything, her craving for this does not appear to abate. She falls back on the bed, pulling Sei on top of her, gasping into Sei's mouth which is back on hers, when she feels the familiar weight of Sei on her again.

They inch their way up Yumi's bed, kissing and touching, rejoicing in the feel of each other. Sei pushes Yumi's skirt up to her hips, then runs her hands along Yumi's smooth thighs. Yumi reaches down to hike Sei's skirt up also, desperately wanting to feel Sei's skin against her own. Sei removes her hands from Yumi's thighs, and plants them beside Yumi's head, lifting herself so Yumi can reach between them and move their skirts up and out of the way, ridding another layer between them. Yumi does this quickly, and just as quickly Sei lowers herself back down and pushes herself into Yumi, rubbing and bumping against Yumi's groin. Yumi feels so tightly wound, like a coiled spring twisted to snapping. She lifts her hips to grind against Sei, using her hands and legs to pull Sei even closer to her. They are panting heavily through their kiss, the need in both of them making their movements slightly rough, their kiss almost competitive. The only sounds in the room are the slight creaking of the bed, the muted sound of flesh slapping against flesh, the sound of their kiss.

Yumi pushes at Sei until she rolls over onto her back. Yumi straddles her, rubbing herself against any part of Sei she can reach, sliding against Sei's pelvis, the flat taut belly of her lover. Yumi is filled with lust and love and hunger, and as she lifts herself to try and pull down Sei's underwear, the word mine, mine, mine, echoes through her. In a far off place in Yumi's mind, she knows she has no right to this feeling, considering one of the reasons why she invited Sei home in the first place. What right has she to feel possessive over Sei, when she herself is going to bring up the prospect of sharing herself with another woman? But Yumi is not thinking straight, not wanting to examine that too closely at the moment, not with the gorgeous and passionate Satou Sei driving herself up against her, her hands on Yumi's hips and not helping at all with the removal of her underwear.

Yumi pulls herself away from Sei, sliding one of her legs between Sei's, allowing her better access for pulling down Sei's underwear. She manages to get them down to mid-thigh before Sei pushes her onto her back, and begins pulling down Yumi's. Sei is tugging them down, the heat of Sei Yumi is seeking against her thigh. Not waiting, Yumi slides her fingers into Sei's wetness, taking Sei's hand, and placing it on her own crotch. Sei grunts at the contact, Yumi hoarsely cries out at the feel of Sei's fingers on her engorged clit. Feeing the stiffness of Sei's, Yumi is beyond excitement. She is ecstatic.

They have been together many times in the last few days, sharing each other's bodies and passion, but Yumi does not think she has yet felt this level of carnality. The feeling of Sei's fingers are making her so horny, that she is beginning to lose all control of herself, abandoning herself to the moment. And in this moment, she feels she would do absolutely anything Sei asks of her, anything, as long as she does not take her hand away, as long as she does not stop. Her cries are becoming less hoarse now, beginning to get louder. Sei covers her mouth with her own, and swallows them.

Yumi runs her fingers through Sei' slickness, loving the smooth wet feel of Sei's clitoris against her fingers, when suddenly, Sei breaks the kiss and sucks air in, hissing.

-Oh god, Yumi, right there.

Sliding herself more fully onto Yumi, Sei tucks an arm under Yumi's neck, and begins to ride her fingers, her face inches above Yumi's, her eyes shut, her bottom lip between her teeth. Yumi feels the rhythm of Sei's fingers begin to falter, so using her free hand, she holds Sei's hand in place, and moves herself against them, aiding Sei's ministrations, alternating between pressing Sei's hand and stroking her forearm. Raising her head, she kisses Sei's chin. Sei opens her eyes, and looks into Yumi's, and that lost look is there, so familiar to her now, it signals Sei's orgasm is imminent. Her wetness increases, her hip movements becoming more precise, she presses on, wanting her release. Yumi feels her own climax building, getting frantic at the feel of Sei nearly there. Fixing her gaze on Sei and locking her hand onto Sei's forearm, she feels her concentration spiralling down to the feel of her clit between Sei's fingers.

Critical mass, Yumi randomly thinks, as she feels it come, her orgasm. She shuts her eyes, no longer able to keep them open, shoving herself against Sei's hand, whimpering and crying out softly against Sei's shoulder, gagging herself on the material of her uniform, her mind empty of all thought as her body crashes. Not letting go of Sei's arm, she continues to grind against her hand, briefly and inexplicably obsessing about the sensation it causes. The collar of Yumi's uniform bunching in her grip, Sei pushes her face into Yumi's pillow, gasping into it, her movements tight and hard on Yumi, spreading her legs as far as her underwear will allow, when she stills, loosing a muffled cry, and she collapses onto Yumi, bucking her pelvis against her, slowing, slowing, until she stops.

Taking her hand from Yumi's groin, earning a mewl of loss from Yumi, she places her hand on Yumi's hip, pulling her closer to her, her grip on Yumi's collar still tight, she completes the hug. Yumi gently removes her hand from Sei's centre, pushing it under Sei's body to around her slim waist, bringing her other arm around her shoulders, and holds Sei as she shudders against her.

Sei turns her head on the pillow and her breathing is like the ocean in Yumi's ear. She can feel Sei's heart beating against her, and is overcome with affection for Sei, the special closeness of that small time after sex, she is discovering, is a time when the universe seems like it is cracking wide open, and with her eyes closed, she is looking into it, gazing deep into the meaning of existence, and feeling it gaze back into her. Affection is the best word she has to describe her feelings right this second. Lying here, with a quiet Sei on top of her, the weight of her making Yumi feel happy and safe. Making Yumi feel special and sated. Satiety is a new feeling, something she did not realise she wanted until she met Sei. There would be times of excitement in her body, and she did not know what to do with that, especially when masturbating became slightly frustrating and pointless. Yumi pulls Sei closer, feeling that satiety ooze through her, knowing that it is a temporary fix, but not worrying about it. She feels Sei respond, kissing the curve of her ear, the kisses loud. The sound of Sei's lips.

Yumi pulls her head back a little, turning to kiss Sei. Her hands leave Sei's shoulders to tangle again in her graded hair, feeling the sweat of Sei's efforts. Sei's hand leaves Yumi's hip to glide up her body to caress her breast, finding her nipple through her uniform and bra. She soothes her fingers gently but insistently over it, and Yumi feels the immediate need to take her uniform off, and Sei's, and do it all over again.

Yumi pushes Sei off her, and attends to her underwear, sliding them down her legs and kicking them off. Lying on her side, her hand propping up her head, Sei is smiling at her, that half lidded, sleepy smile, the one that is also fast becoming familiar. It is her after sex smile, and Yumi thinks that even Sei does not know what this smile looks like, that nobody in the world knows what that smile looks like but her. The rush of love and lust at this thought is heating up her movements. Rolling Sei, and keeping their skirts pushed out of the way, Yumi straddles her, her now very sensitive centre pressing heavily on Sei's. She leans back, feeling the wetness of Sei against her own as she rocks on her. The smell of sex is thick in the air and Yumi is feeling her sensuality. Is feeling so sexy. Sei loves and wants her, and she can do whatever she wants with Sei. Only last night, that thought scared her a little, but tonight, she seems to have an about-face over the matter, and stops briefly, in her head, to wonder why, her eyes still on Sei's sleepy, sensuous smile. Is this arrogance, Yumi wonders, is this the true face of her selfishness? When Sei's hands touch where the top of her thighs dip toward her crotch, she loses the thread of her thought. Indulging herself on Sei's face, she decides that it does not matter at the moment, as she begins to unzip her uniform. Sei's eyes light up watching her, her low sexy laugh, her delight, flowing through Yumi, and Yumi thinks that no, it does not matter right now.

Sei slips her hand under Yumi and cups her. Yumi leans back further, resting her hands on Sei's thighs, leaving her uniform on, unzipped and not caring whether it is on or off, feeling Sei against her again. She looks down at Sei through nearly shut eyes, and Sei is looking very awake, the smile gone. She places her thumb on Yumi's clit, causing Yumi to inhale sharply. She is so sensitive after her orgasm.

-Sorry.

Sei apologises quickly, moving to take her hand away.

Yumi shakes her head, and moves herself slightly to the side, so Sei's thumb is against a less sensitive place. Smiling down at Sei, she rocks against Sei's thumb to let Sei know that it is fine. Sei begins rubbing at Yumi, and Yumi stifles her groan at the feel of it, at the feel of Sei's fingers against her opening, the warmth of Sei's other hand resting on her thigh. This feeling drives Yumi, pushing against Sei, feeling her wetness on Sei's hand. Leaning forward, she reaches down and grabs Sei's tie, pulling her up. At that same moment, Sei enters her, two of her fingers sliding into Yumi's vagina. Yumi releases a small, long sound of pleasure. She wants to shout, but somehow manages to keep it in.

She pulls open Sei's tie, while bringing her mouth down to Sei's, their meeting lips opening, their kiss wet and passionate. Yumi unzips Sei's uniform and puts her hand inside, caressing Sei's breast, her other hand around Sei's shoulders, anchoring herself as her movements on Sei speed up slightly, Sei's hand moving to match the pace set by Yumi. Yumi pulls up as much of Sei's bra as she can to get at the skin underneath, the feel of Sei's breast in her hand, the hard nipple pressing against her palm is making her light in the head. Sei moans, her kiss becoming more insistent, her fingers inside Yumi stroking harder.

They are one in this moment, moving in tandem with each other. Their breathing is heavy and loud in Yumi's bedroom, in an ordinary house, in an ordinary suburb of Tokyo. They have had the practice now, they know each other well now. Yumi breaks the kiss, throwing her head back, her eyes open, seeing past her ceiling, into the world beyond, feeling Sei moving inside her, as she silently cries out, every downward thrust of her of her hips meeting the upward thrust of Sei's hand, the vibration reverberating up and up, through the roof of her head, she thinks. Her cries are becoming a little less silent now, as she feels herself on the brink again, her grip on Sei's shoulder tight, her other on Sei's breast squeezing spasmodically. Sei's hand comes up and covers Yumi's mouth to muffle her cries, thrusting harder into Yumi. Sei is kissing her neck, under her chin, wherever she can reach where Yumi's uniform is open. Her thumb is no longer against Yumi's clit, as she concentrates more on what is making Yumi cry out. Yumi can feel her orgasm build. Her thighs are shaking on either side of Sei's, the very core of her feels like it is lighting up. She takes her hand off Sei's breast to join her other, gripping Sei's shoulders.

It is building up, this incredible feeling. Sei feels very deep inside her, her mouth hot and wet against her. I do not know how I got here, but I am glad. I am so glad. Her heart feels like it is going to burst, as love spills through her, as her orgasm hits her, and her mind goes blank, goes white, and she cannot help it, she cries out, into Sei's hand which is clamped over her mouth. She tenses up, riding out her orgasm, trying to prolong this feeling as long as possible, this amazing sensation of sublime release. Now she is relaxing, slumping, breathing like she has run a marathon, her heart beating so hard and fast. She is hugging Sei, who is leaning against her, breathing hard too, her hand still on Yumi's mouth.

Yumi kisses her palm. Sei drops her hand and leans back and gazes at her, a light sheen of sweat on her forehead and upper lip. They stare at each other. Yumi feels amazement, looking at Sei's face. Yumi is dazed from sex, and remains in position, Sei's fingers still in her. She does not want to move. She wants to stay this way, joined with Sei this way, staring into her grey eyes that are clear and full of emotion. She thinks again that nothing really matters but this. She moves her hips, and feels a spasm in her vagina. She thinks that she could definitely do this again.

-It keeps getting better.

Sei whispers. The amazement on her face matching Yumi's thoughts.

-I get so excited thinking about you, Yumi. I get so turned on, waiting to see you again. And you never disappoint.

-I know. I look at you, and it's like nothing else matters.

Yumi whispers back, hugging Sei closer to her, kissing her face. Sei pushes sudden and hard into Yumi, making her choke out a half cry of surprise and pleasure, the sensation shooting straight up the middle of her, causing her to dig her fingers into Sei's shoulders. Sei does it again.

-I love you, Yumi.

And again.

-Oh god, Sei...

And again.

No. Nothing matters.

But the knock on the door and Yuuki's voice does.

-Yumi? I have the spare futon, Mum asked me to bring it up.

They both startle. Sei begins laughing.

-Thanks Yuuki, hang on a sec.

Yumi answers, as she quickly zips up her uniform and hastily does her tie, all the while nearly falling off Sei. Sei hops off the bed, righting Yumi as she does, then pulls up her underwear. Yumi kicks her own discarded panties under the bed. Smoothing her hands through her hair, she goes to the door, and Sei goes back to the bookshelves. Opening the door, she steps out of her room and into the hall, a watery smile in place. Yuuki, thankfully looking clueless, is standing there with the futon resting against his legs. Yumi thanks him, and reaches for it.

-Can you manage?

-Yup, thanks again Yuuki.

-No worries. Oh yeah, Mum wants to know if Sei-san needs pyjamas or anything.

Yumi thinks that no, Sei will not need pyjamas tonight. Out loud she answers:

-Ah, yeah, she does. Can I grab a pair of Mum's? They should be long enough for her.

-Yeah, she left some out in their room.

-Great. Hey, do you need to use the bath?

-Nope, already did, you go ahead.

Hefting the futon, Yumi thanks her brother again and steps back into her room. Sei is sitting on the floor with one of Yumi's books open. Upside down, Yumi notes.

-You're not fooling anyone, Sei.

Yumi says, laughing, unrolling the futon. Sei closes the book and puts it aside.

-Not everybody is as observant as you, Yumi-chan.

She gets up to help Yumi wrestle the futon into submission.

-I'm glad we got interrupted, though.

Sei says. Yumi looks up at Sei, who is sitting back on her haunches, her regard serious. Yumi kneels back, feeling her smile dissipate with Sei's words.

-We need to talk, don't we Yumi.

Not a question this.

-Yes, Sei. We really do. Can we talk in the bath?

Sei, smiling but with serious eyes, agrees. Standing up, she holds out her hand to Yumi, which Yumi takes, agilely popping onto her feet. As they leave Yumi's room, Yumi points to the bathroom, then leaves Sei to it to go and retrieve the pyjamas her mother left out for Sei. She stops back to her room to drop them off, grabbing a couple of robes out of her wardrobe. By the time she gets to the bathroom, Sei is already soaping herself up, sat on the little plastic stool by the shower attachment. Yumi quickly takes off her own uniform and hangs it up beside Sei's. Removing the rest of her underwear, she throws them in the laundry hamper, then goes to join her.

-Wash your hair?

She offers. Sei answers by immediately handing Yumi a bottle of shampoo off the shelf beside her. Chuckling, Yumi squeezes some out onto her hand, and begins to massage it into Sei's wet hair, taking her time, before thoroughly washing it out. Unasked, she begins to wash the rest of Sei. Moving in front of Sei, positioning herself between her senior's legs, she takes one of Sei's arms, and slowly begins running a cloth down the length of it. Not really paying attention to what she is doing, she is nonetheless enjoying the slick feel of the soap on Sei's warm skin. She washes Sei's shoulders and chest, marvelling at the fine skin under her hands. Never in a million years did she think she would be washing the smell of herself off Satou Sei, as she passes the cloth over more of Sei.

Without thinking about it, Yumi leans in and kisses Sei's chest, just under her collarbones, the smooth warm skin exciting her all over again. Smiling, she thinks that she was interrupted before she could touch Sei again, and now here they are, naked, and she is kneeling between Sei's legs. She drops the cloth, and places her hands on Sei's thighs and trails kisses across her chest.

-Yumi...

Yumi does not stop. She considers briefly that she is putting off the inevitable, that she does not want to have the coming conversation just yet, not while still reeling from the sweet intoxication of sex with Sei, not when Sei is naked and so close to her and she cannot honestly formulate thoughts that do not involve kissing Sei, and touching Sei, and loving Sei. Not while the wet firm flesh under her hands and lips is so tempting. She wants to please Sei, wants to love her. Perhaps she is off-setting the coming upset a little. Perhaps she just wants the woman in front of her. Perhaps she wants to reassure and reaffirm love with her body.

She moves further down Sei's body to her breasts, licking and sucking, running her tongue over Sei's hard nipples. She can feel Sei quivering under her touch, hear her breathing become short and shallow. Leaving Sei's breasts, she moves to her stomach, spreading her own knees in the process to get down further. Sei's hands are on her shoulders, pushing her back gently. There is a quirky smile bending Sei's lips.

-What are up to, Yumi?

Yumi feels the blush rise immediately and embarrassingly to her face. Sei chuffs out a little laugh.

-What you did last night, I want to do that to you.

-You want to...

Yumi smiles at Sei, getting more bold as she sees Sei stutter over the idea. Resting her hands on Sei's arms, she strokes them, leaning forward and kissing Sei. She kisses Sei, moving her hands along Sei's thighs, over her hips, up her sides, trailing her fingers back down Sei's stomach, allowing one of her hands to dip into Sei's pubic hair. She teases along the outside of Sei's groin. She cups Sei then, letting one of her fingers to fall into her slit and run the length of her.

-Can I?

Yumi asks through the kiss, finding Sei's clitoris with her finger and stroking it.

-Please...

Sei whispers to her. Yumi smiles again, her stomach full of butterflies. Sei slides off the stool to her knees. Still kissing Yumi, she is leaning back, reaching out her arm, blindly searching for the edge of the bath. Laughing gently, Yumi breaks the kiss and softly pushing Sei, she directs her backward toward the bath, until Sei is sitting on the floor and her shoulders are resting against the side of the bath.

Yumi crawls in between her legs and leans in to kiss Sei again, as she looks adorable, with her bottom lip caught between her teeth, and somehow managing to look nervous and expectant at the same time. Scooting in closer, Yumi sits back, raising her hands to smooth back Sei's wet hair, kissing her forehead, her cheek, her mouth, her chin. Yumi moves to her neck, her shoulders, her breasts. Sliding herself down, letting her legs slide out, she kisses down Sei's belly. She lies fully on the warm wet floor, her face right in front of Sei's groin, with Sei's hands in her hair, stoking, smoothing. It is still new to Yumi, looking at another woman this way. Reaching out her hand, she parts Sei's light pubic hair, and looks at her hard clit, protruding slightly. It is all quite amazing, really, she thinks. She leans in her face and kisses it, causing Sei to inhale sharply. Yumi quickly looks up at Sei, who smiles to reassure her.

-I know what you're doing, but it's still a surprise.

-Another first. What do I do?

Sei chuckles.

-It's been a busy week. Use your tongue instead of your fingers. That's all I did.

So that is what Yumi does. Having just washed, she cannot smell Sei that strongly. She knows well the smell of Sei, has smelled her excitement on her body, in the air, has tasted her on her fingers. She enjoys the smell and taste of Sei. She smells like pleasure and life, and earth somehow. She runs her tongue over the tip of Sei's clit, which causes Sei to groan. She removes one of her hands from Yumi's hair and covers her own mouth with it, her other hand clenching in Yumi's hair. Yumi glances up at Sei and meets Sei's wild gaze. The response in her is so immediate and dramatic that Yumi is extremely gratified, and thinks that she may come to really love this particular act.

She leans in again, using her hand to push back Sei's hood and labia, and licks at her again, licking around and over it, trying to find Sei's special place that she can usually find with her fingers. She can hear Sei moaning behind her hand, growling almost low in her throat. When Yumi finds what she is looking for, the sounds change, to something higher, the sound Sei was making earlier in the evening, and that is where Yumi concentrates. She can feel Sei's wetness on her chin as it slicks against Sei's vagina, and as it spreads upwards with her movements, she can taste Sei now, and she smells stronger. Yumi is very turned on, and without putting any thought into it, she reaches her hand down to her own groin, and begins to touch herself, wishing that Sei could somehow do it, but her own hand is going to have to do. She can feel both of Sei's hands in her hair again.

-Are you touching yourself?

Sei breaths out, a strange timbre to her voice.

Yumi makes an affirmative sound to answer Sei's question.

-Oh god, that is so sexy.

Yumi looks up and sees Sei's eyes fix on where Yumi's hand disappears under her body. Yumi has the sudden idea that she love to show Sei what she is doing, but that would be awkward she decides. She has the sneaking suspicion that she should be more shocked by her thoughts and actions. Yet she cannot think of anything more natural than showing the one she loves just how much she loves her, how Sei makes her feel. Thinking this, she takes her hand away from herself and reaches up Sei's body to her face and offers Sei her fingers. Sei takes her fingers into her mouth and sucks on them. This is nearly better than touching herself, Yumi discovers, and she begins to moan softly at the feel of Sei's tongue and mouth, the soft heat of them, the taste of Sei in her own mouth.

Feeling so much, it is driving Yumi to lick harder on Sei. She is back in the place she was earlier, that place where she is past caring what happens. The place where she truly does not belong to herself any more. The word transcendent floats across her mind. Sei's wetness is increasing as do the movements of her hips. Her hands tangling in Yumi's hair are not as gentle any more. Yumi covers Sei's clit with her mouth, her tongue still working and sucks hard on Sei, causing Sei to push herself against Yumi's face, pressing more on her head. Sei lets go of Yumi's fingers, and is silently crying out, her only sound like very heavy breathing. Yumi looks up again at Sei, and she has her eyes shut. Were they open, Yumi knows what she would see, because she is reading Sei's body, knows she is nearly there, can feel the tell-tale shuddering that Sei involuntarily does when she is about to come. Sucking and licking, she feels Sei tense up, her hands clamping onto Yumi's head, exciting Yumi with the almost rough quality of her touch. Yumi loves when Sei looses control, loves knowing she did that to her.

There is more of the taste of Sei in her mouth now. The hand that Sei released is holding onto Sei's thigh, feeling the twitching of the muscles under her hand. Then Sei freezes. All motion stops, like she is holding her breath. Then she releases, coming hard against Yumi, bucking against her. She quickly covers her mouth with her hand, savagely clamping down, Yumi sees when she looks at her, as she silently screams into her hand, forcing the sound of her orgasm into a long hard breath. She is flushing and sweating. Yumi removes her mouth from Sei, resting her head on her thigh and watches her. Sei has her eyes shut, her head fallen back against the edge of the bath, taking large breaths, twitching. She looks magnificent to Yumi's eyes. Yumi feels something like pride bordering on smugness flit through her. She inwardly laughs at this, mentally shaking her head at herself. Sei's eyes open, and she looks slightly off kilter, a little hazy. Then she smiles, her secret smile, and Yumi reacts to it, climbing up Sei's body to straddle her again. Sei hugs her close, her arms tight around Yumi's slender body, her cheek on Yumi's. They are quite for a time, relaxing against each other.

-Can I watch?

Sei eventually whispers in Yumi's ear. Yumi has no idea what she is talking about.

-Watch what?

She whispers back.

-Watch you touch yourself.

Yumi laughs in mild disbelief.

-Really?

-I really want to see.

Yumi leans back to look at Sei. She is wearing that wicked smile of hers. Her lips are full and red, and she is still flushed from her exertions, and Yumi feels herself giving in. She is blushing. It is different from when they are making love. She is definitely feeling a little skittish about this. She knows that Sei will find it sexy, otherwise she would not have asked, and she already said so. And she has seen her sort of do it before. Yet the thought of actually sitting in front of Sei and touching herself. Well. Sei makes up her mind for her when she reaches down her hand and begins to stroke herself, her eyes on Yumi. Yumi breaks eye contact and looks down, transfixing on the movement of Sei's hand on herself. A slow and steady rhythm, manipulating her own clitoris, the sharp breaths, the quite groans. Yumi looks back to her face. The smile is even sexier, if possible, her eyes hooded and inviting.

Yumi lifts herself off Sei, and nudges Sei's knees apart and kneels in between them. She spreads her own knees and sits back, never looking away from Sei, she runs her hands over her own breasts, smoothing over her belly, down her thighs. One hand she reaches out and places on Sei's shoulder, the other she puts on her own groin, and begins to massage her clit with her fingers. She is very turned on from licking Sei. She is so ready. Unlike making love, this is quite selfish in a way. Yumi finds that she does not mind, at least, not in this context. She wants to come, pure and simple. Sei has excited her beyond all usual proportions, and if she wants to watch her masturbate, then Yumi is willing to oblige her. She gets to see Sei do it too. Sei is right. It is sexy as hell.

With one hand squeezing Sei's shoulder, she can lean back further. Kneeling between Sei's legs, she can see everything that Sei is doing to herself and it is making her wetter. She can feel it all over her fingers. Sei's eyes are on her groin, watching her, her gaze never wavering, and she is speeding up her movements. Yumi can feel herself almost coming, but she deliberately holds it back, waiting for Sei. This is a new sensation, this control over her body. Stroking herself, watching Sei stroke herself, she wonders what other new things she will discover about her body. About herself. Yumi flicks her gaze between Sei's face and hand, really not sure which is sexier. Sei finally lifts her eyes to Yumi's and stays there, her eyes wide. Yumi can see it again, that Sei is about to come again. She keeps waiting until Sei starts to quietly cry out, and Yumi pushes herself, stroking hard and fast, and she times it perfectly. Just as Sei reaches her climax, Yumi comes, her body nearly exploding with sensation. She instinctively leans forward to meet Sei in a hard kiss, and they cry their pleasure into each other. She slumps forward with it, trusting Sei to catch her, which Sei does. Half on the floor, half on Sei, she rests her head on Sei's shoulder. After an indeterminate amount of time, Yumi stirs in Sei's arms. Smiling at Sei, she manages to get to her knees with some assistance. Somewhere, she lost all her energy.

-I need to wash up. I need a bath.

-I think I need another wash myself.

Yumi insists on washing Sei again, much to Sei's gentle amusement. Yumi, despite how drained she is, finds herself getting lost again in the magic of Sei's closeness. She is brought back to earth when Sei kisses her, murmuring that it is Yumi's turn. Swapping positions, Yumi experiences, for the second time today, the thrill of having Sei wash her. However, there is no rush this time. They have as long as they like. Sei washes Yumi's hair, her longer fingers working magic on Yumi's scalp. Yumi gratefully submits to Sei's tenderness, revelling in Sei loving her this way. Finally, when they are both clean, they take the cover off the bath, steam immediately billowing around them. Sei gets in first, positioning herself against the back. Yumi naturally sits in between Sei's legs, easing back into her, finding the sensation of Sei's breasts against her, the feeling of her pubic hair against the small of her back, a little distracting. Yumi lolls her head against Sei's shoulder, relaxing under the influence of hot water and Sei's presence. They are quiet for a while.

-How is she?

Sei breaks the silence, because the time has come.

-Upset.

Yumi replies, her hands resting on Sei's on Sei's raised knees.

-Some things happened, though.

Yumi adds, trying to screw up her courage. Sei is still calm, Yumi can feel it every line of her pressing against her. This helps a little. Sei remains quiet, waiting for Yumi. The silence goes on, Yumi still trying to find a way to phrase everything. The time is dragging out, she is very aware of it. Turning it over and over, she still cannot find a tactful way of putting this evenings events. She realises that she is trying to do pre-damage control. She also realises that she is trying to find a way to paint herself in the best light possible. This makes her feel disgust at herself. She decides to just come out with it, and deal with the consequences of her actions.

-She wants to date me. And we kissed.

Sei does not react straight away, but she is tense. Yumi can feel that in every line of her also.

-Oh, Yumi.

There is a catch in Sei's voice that Yumi was completely unprepared for. She expected anger, or annoyance, anything. Not this. Not that tiny hitch in Sei's voice when she said her name. Yumi feels an emptiness open up in her, and the water does not seem as warm. She squeezes Sei's hands. She does not turn around. Another attack of cowardliness, she thinks, sadly.

-How? How did it get to kissing? How did it get to that?

There is a small amount of anger warming Sei's tone now. Yumi feels the grip that Sei has on her own knees under her hands.

-She was crying. I was holding her. I felt so awful for her, Sei. She didn't even get particularly angry. Just sad. Then we were kissing. I'm not sure how it happened exactly. It just did.

She knows it sounds bad, but it is the truth. She is not sure who kissed who, but they had done that. She can still feel softness of Sachiko's lips on hers, and also the hardness of the act itself, as if Yumi were accepting an odd retribution for loving someone else.

-And the dating?

-She wants her chance, she said.

Sei snorts.

-She had months with you, and she did nothing. Now she confesses, now that you are with someone else.

-She says that she is in love with me.

Yumi says this very quietly, feeling raw and vulnerable.

-Do you believe her, Yumi?

-Do you?

Sei sighs, relaxing her grip, turning her hands palms up to hold Yumi's.

-Yes, Yumi. I believe that Sachiko is in love with you.

Sei laces her fingers through Yumi's, playing with them.

Yumi breaths deeply, very nervous about what she is going to say next.

-I agreed to ask you.

-Oh, no, Yumi.

Sei sits up. Yumi lets go of her hands, and moves out from between Sei's legs. Turning to finally face Sei, she sits in the middle of the bath, her eyes on Sei. She has agreed to her own course of action, and now she has to prepare herself for the fall out.

-She wants to date me, with your permission.

The air of disbelief around Sei is palpable.

-And you said you would ask me? You didn't just say no?

Yumi bites her lip and looks away.

-Yumi? Look at me.

Yumi blinks slowly, and drags her eyes back to Sei.

-Why didn't you just say no?

-You know why.

-I want to hear you say it.

-Because it's Sachiko. Because I love her.

-You said you loved me.

-I do, I am in love with you. I told Sachiko that.

-And yet, she still made that suggestion? And yet, you're taking it seriously? What, Yumi? What is that?

Yumi draws her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and resting her chin on her arms. Indeed, what is that?

-I agreed to ask you. I explained that a no is a no, and she had to leave it at that.

-She agreed to that?

-She promised.

A strange expression passes over Sei's face. Yumi cannot put a name to it at all.

-Do you want me to say no, Yumi?

Yumi does not take her eyes off Sei. She does not answer, though. Her mind is whirling, so much so, if feels like it has stopped.

-Yumi?

There is a warning in Sei's voice. She is upset and wants answers. Yumi still does not answer. She is still looking at Sei, her wet hair slicked back against her skull, making her eyes bigger and even more striking, emphasising further the high sharp cheekbones. Her fair skin is flushing, and even if Sei is angry, Yumi cannot help thinking her face is one she always wants to see, feels the helpless pull of attraction. Yumi unfolds herself, going to her knees she leans forward. In lieu of an answer, she kisses Sei. Sei automatically kisses her back. Both of them, helpless.

-Yumi.

Sei breathes her name, bringing up her hands to cup Yumi's face.

-Tell me, Yumi. Tell me what you want to do.

Yumi pulls Sei's hands away from her face, and leans in to kiss Sei again. Sei allows this, kissing Yumi back, kissing her like nothing has been said. She breaks the kiss, and pushes Yumi back, her hands on Yumi's shoulders, looking Yumi dead in the eye, unwavering and as serious as Yumi has ever seen her.

-Tell me.

-I don't know.

-That's a lie.

-I want to be with you, Sei.

-And yet?

Yumi leans fully against Sei, putting her arms around her neck. Sei holds her in place, her hands on Yumi's backside, their centres pressing together.

-And yet...she is Sachiko.

Yumi murmurs into Sei's neck.

-She is Sachiko, and you loved her first.

There is no anger in Sei. Her voice is even.

-Yes. I loved her first.

-And she is your Onee-sama.

Yumi nods against Sei's neck.

-If I say yes, what does it mean?

-It means I'm still in love with you.

-What else do you think it means?

-Sachiko has only realised her feelings. It means I give her a chance to express them.

-Yumi, she already confessed. She even kissed you. Isn't that enough?

One of Sei's hands strokes Yumi's back. Sei's voice is soft. The atmosphere between them is very delicate, and a loud noise may just shatter it. Yumi feels unworthy of this patience and tolerance from Sei. Part of her wants Sei to be more angry. She questions that feeling, wondering why she should feel such a thing. Does she want Sei to sort out the whole thing by just saying no? Does she want to be punished for being unable to control her heart?

-I want to give her something more.

-By having me agree to sharing you with her? Even in my limited experience of relationships, Yumi, that sounds messed up.

Sei sinks lower in the water, and Yumi slides with her.

-You may hurt us all if you are doing this out of pity.

-It's not just pity. I...

Yumi stumbles here, unable to to say it.

-You want her.

Sei finishes for her.

With a minute nod, Yumi starts to cry. There have been a lot of tears from her today, but these are by far the worst. These tears are scalding. Keeping her face tight to Sei's neck to muffle the sound, she cries out her guilt and confusion. Cries in the arms of her lover, the lover she has just asked to share her with someone else. Sei strokes her hair, making soothing noises.

-I don't deserve you.

Yumi whispers when she can finally speak.

-Shhh. Don't say that. Life is complicated; we're not the first to cry over it.

Yumi raises her face from Sei's neck, and sees the tears on her cheeks. Yumi lifts her hand to her face, and gently wipes them away. Her feelings at this point are beyond definition, beyond naming. She has no frame of reference for what they are going through. She realises that Sei does not either, and that both of them are playing it by ear.

-Do you need to do this, Yumi?

-I think I do.

-Because she is Sachiko?

Sei seems to be honing in on this point. That it is because it is Sachiko they are speaking about, why they are even entertaining this suggestion. Sachiko, and that special relationship, and nobody else.

-Yes.

Sei raises her hand to her face, massaging her eyes with her fingertips, pinching the bridge of her nose.

-Then I think I should give her a call.

-Are you sure?

-No, Yumi. I'm not sure at all. I don't want to share you. I think the whole thing is stupid, and that we will all be hurt by it. We are so new, Yumi. But I have a feeling that this will always be between us. Sachiko is always going to be in your life. It's somewhere I want to be too. I think...

Sei sighs, kissing Yumi's cheek.

-I think you're always going to share your heart with Sachiko. I know I can't do anything about that. But if you say you are in love with me, then I believe you.

Sei raises her hands to Yumi's face again, holding her in place, staring into Yumi, stilling anything she might have been about to say.

-I believe you. Do you believe me?

-Yes.

There is no hesitation in Yumi. Heart and soul, body and mind, she means it. Sei looks searchingly into her, and seems to take the answer. Sei looks as if she is settling something.

-Right then. Let's go to bed. We can talk to Sachiko tomorrow.

They get out of the bath, and help each other dry off, lingering over some places more than others. Yumi can feel herself wanting Sei again. Watching her shrug into a robe, which is too small on her, taking their uniforms off the hooks on the back of the door, Yumi tugs on the sleeve of Sei's robe. Sei turns to her, smiling, her head tilting to the side, questioning.

-Thank you.

-Don't thank me, Yumi. I haven't agreed to anything yet.

-No, not just that. Thank you for everything.

Sei looks at her, curiously.

-I accept your thanks, but I'm not sure what for!

Yumi smiles and feels like crying. She steps into Sei, putting her arms around Sei's waist, her face against the fuzzy material of the robe Sei chose. Sei closes her arms around her.

-It doesn't matter. Just thank you.

Thank you for loving me. I will never understand the way the universe works, that would bring someone like you to someone like me. But my gratitude is timeless.