Unforgiven

By Ashika

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters within this story. I do not own the lyrics to the song, Unforgiven II by Metallica. I don't really own much of anything, do I?

AN: I've been working on this thing FOREVER and a day! I swear. Anyway, I'd like to thank my beta-reader Angelight for putting up with me and my stubbornness on this thing. It IS rather short for a one-shot, I suppose. And I made her edit this thing twenty-bazillion times.

Anywho, this story is pretty dark, and it's not in a…normal writing style. It's rather…choppy and very introspective? I'm not quite sure. I don't think that a lot of people will like the style of writing, but I hope that you'll like the story itself. Thanks for reading it! Onwards…

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Lay beside me, tell me what they've done
Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run.

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Everything about her was ethereal. She had golden hair, fair skin, and bright blue eyes. She was an angel entombed in a mortal body. White wings would never have looked out of place on her.

In a way, she was his angel. The one who could save him from the edge. She would never let him die without her. They were made for each other and nothing could tear them apart.

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The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true
If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you

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They had started out as two complete strangers. Although, after the Eve Wars everyone was a stranger to one another. Brothers and sisters were changed forever. Lovers were no longer even friends.

No one was the same. Not one person was unaffected.

So it was natural that these two people started their relationship as strangers.

They met each other when they went to the same university…

"So what are you doing in this class? Was it required or did you just feel like taking English?" Usagi's blue eyes were dark with fatigue. Her attempts at conversation with her partner had been deflected with ease. How long would it be before she gave up?

"It was required." Hiiro was feeling exasperated. Did this girl ever stop talking? It didn't seem like it. She just kept going and going and going, like the Energizer Bunny he had learned about in his "History of Propaganda" class.

But there was a difference between her and the Energizer Bunny; the Bunny had been pink and happy; this girl was not. Something about her peaked his interest. Something about her was very familiar.

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Lay beside me under wicked sky.

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"What is your favorite place on Earth?" Usagi frowned at the offending paper and sighed. This was what her University English course was asking her to do? Describe her favorite place on Earth? What a bunch of crap. There was nothing she liked about Earth. Ever since her parents had died...

She sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. She had to make something up, so what was her favorite place on Earth? Well, if she didn't like anything on land or in water; that left the sky.

She opened her eyes and looked out the window. The sky was her favorite place on Earth. True, she had never been there. True, the only thing she had ever done was look at it. It was still the place she wished she could go. The sky held so many possibilities, so many opportunities for exploration. But she didn't have the money, so tough luck for her.

Usagi turned and looked at the boy sitting on the floor. She still hadn't gotten his name out of him. His head was down over the paper he was writing, and his unruly brown hair was the only area of his head that she could see. She cleared her throat,

"So, do you think that the sky could constitute as a place on Earth?"

Hiiro's head snapped up and his nearly-black eyes narrowed.

"Hnn..." The girl was stupid. Of course the sky was not a place on Earth. How could it be? His head dropped back down as he attempted to begin writing his paper again.

He closed his eyes, and his thoughts wandered to the sky. The sky was his most hated place. He despised everything about it; from its light blue grace to its midnight black elegance. But he couldn't stop thinking about it. His life always spiralled back to the sky. So many battles, so many lives, so many memories.

It was because of what happened in the sky that he had met a girl, a girl with dark blue eyes. Just like the sky.

And just like the sky, memories of her haunted him everyday.

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The black of day, dark of night,

We share this paralyze.

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 The sun didn't seem to shine as brightly as it used to. Not like it did before the war. It used to be so bright that it would blind him when he went outside. Now it was dimmed, as if somebody had put a screen over it. The only thing that seemed to brighten the day was the girl.

He found that her name was Usagi. Like a bunny. Or rather, the word usagi translates to bunny. She certainly didn't act like one though. It must have been a misjudgement on her parents' part…

"So what is your name?" Usagi was finally asking. She had to know. It was bad enough that she worked with him everyday. It was bad enough that he was in her room with her everyday. She needed to know his name. Somewhere deep inside of her yearned to know what his name was.

"My name is Hiiro." So that was it, such a short and simple name. She smiled and turned to him.

"Well nice to finally know your name. My name is Usagi."

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The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through.

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She wasn't like she used to be. She used to be happy and bubbly. That was before they had been killed. "They" being her parents and her little brother, Shingo. It had been so pointless. The soldiers had come to have some fun. Take a few pure souls and ravage them beyond repair. They succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

The rest of her family had been innocents. Unfortunately, as all people knew, the innocent ones were always the first to die.

So she got revenge. She made the soldiers weep with pain. She made them beg her to stop. They offered her money, fame, and power; not that they could have ever followed through. Empty promises. So she had made them a promise that she knew she could keep.

She promised that they would each die a long and painful death.

So they each died long and painful deaths. Each part of their body was hacked away. Kitchen knives could be useful, even outside of the kitchen.

Each tear that they cried mingled with drops of blood. Their pleas for relief went unheard and were soon put an end to. She had started to feel sympathetic, so three syringes were filled with fluid for three men worthy of death. Her father had been a doctor. He kept such things around the house.

After that, Usagi was never the same. She couldn't be the same. Murder would change anybody, and it definitely changed her. And yet, who would understand what she had gone through? Who would understand how much it had hurt her to kill those men? Surely they had once had families of their own. In her heart of hearts, she hadn't wanted to do it, but an eye for an eye. So they had died. 

Nobody had ever found out; or at least the authorities never did. Soldiers went missing all of the time. A family disappearing wasn't all that uncommon either. The thought of her neighbours caring could almost make her laugh. In those days everybody had been too wrapped up in themselves to care about somebody else.

But the question still remained: Who would ever be able to understand?

Hiiro seemed to understand. He understood her pain. He could look into her eyes and a flicker of acknowledgement would burst into flame and then die. His pain was her pain. They both knew it, and neither of them could deny it.

She never said what the pain was. She never thought to name it; never wanted to. In fact, forgetting was the thing she wanted to do most. But she couldn't. They hovered in the back of her mind. Memories that were never within sight, but never out of mind.

He still understood her. He KNEW. All she had to do was look in his eyes and she was safe. She was safe because he understood.

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Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?

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He understood her, but did she understand him? Who could? He was a heartless murderer. He killed thousands of people. Half of them had to have been innocent. The innocents died first. It was an unspoken rule of war. Not one that anybody wanted to follow. But somehow they always managed to die first.

He had once been a Gundam Pilot. Pilot of Wing Gundam, Pilot 01. The Perfect Soldier. Trained by the ruthless Doctor J to become as emotionless as possible: to become his namesake, a Perfect Soldier.

How ironic that his code-name had been Heero Yuy, in honour of the deceased pacifist. Heero Yuy had stood for everything that Hiiro had not. Although now, he wasn't quite sure of what he stood for. Because the more he thought about it, the less it seemed that he should be living anymore. How could he atone for all of those lives he had destroyed, and destroyed without a second thought?

"Hey, Hiiro?" A small voice fluttered through his distracted thoughts. He turned to look at Usagi.

"Yeah, what?"

"Did you have other friends? Do you ever talk to them any more? I'd like to meet them sometime." Hiiro's eyes widened a bit. He turned away and thought back to his friends, or companions as he had used to think of them.

Thoughts of Trowa dying in the explosion and Quatre's demise soon after that overwhelmed him. They shouldn't have died, and they wouldn't have if he had done his job. Not if he had truly been a Perfect Soldier.

"I don't have any friends."

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What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone.

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It was possible she didn't understand him. Possible, but very unlikely. And even if she didn't, she was really close. How many other people could come this close?

Four, who were once the other Gundam pilots. It was funny how he had distanced himself so much from the people he knew could have helped him. It couldn't be helped. He had lost his humanity and was then left with an almost emotionless soul. They could have helped him, at one time.

But, Usagi was doing an admirable job of helping him regain himself. Everything about her bespoke of everything he wanted to be. Even if she wasn't completely innocent, pure, or sinless, she was perfect. She was strong and determined; absolute. And she had the two things he wanted most of all: understanding and compassion.

What does she want from me?

The thought ran unchecked through his mind. What did she want from him? Suddenly, Hiiro found that he didn't care. He would give her everything she wanted. He would give her everything she needed. A small smile flitted across his face as he realized that he was content for once.

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Lay beside me, this won't hurt I swear
She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again.

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They fell in love. Somehow no one predicted it. Somehow no one ever guessed it. They were too different, and yet they were too much alike.

But it was love. That four-lettered word that could make or break a person. It wasn't the pure love that most people wished for and dreamed about. Not the moonlight romancing and candlelight dinners. No, it was the love that came from trial upon trial. It was the type that came from only knowing hatred for so long, and finding love to be such a beautiful contrast.

Last chance, though. It was their very last chance at love, and maybe even at life itself. How could she keep living if her heart, which she had so meticulously kept walled, was broken? If after the ice was melted from her heart, could she go on? It was unlikely, for even if she were to keep on living, she would never love again.

Hiiro smiled briefly. It was nice to know that someone needed him.

The smile was quickly replaced with a frown. He dropped to the cold floor of his room as he remembered the last people to need him. With his hands on the floor he gasped for breath. He had utterly failed the last people to depend on him. Trowa, Quatre, Duo, and Wufei. Every single one of them was dead because of him.

After the death of Quatre, life had become listless. Life was depressing and boring, even to Duo and Wufei. It hadn't truly changed for Hiiro.

Hiiro, in an unusual burst of inspiration, had decided it was time for a practical joke.

Duo had started to tease Hiiro, as was normal. Hiiro had pulled out his gun and pointed it directly at Duo's head. Duo's eyes had widened in mock terror.

"Come on, Hiiro. You don't want to shoot me!"

"Hnn."

"Heero!" A quick giggle escaped from Duo's mouth.

BAM! The shot rang through the room. Hiiro stared at his hands as they held the gun. Smoke curled from the end of the gun.

Duo lay on the floor, blood spilling from his head, drenching the floor with the color red.

Hiiro looked up, the memories slowly draining away. Only the vision of Duo, lying still on the floor, stuck in his mind.

It was supposed to be a dry-shot. It was supposed to shoot a blank.

He couldn't help it, he made a vow. A vow to make sure that Usagi never got hurt, ever. The words fell off his lips in a whisper,

"I will protect Usagi for as long as I live."

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She lay beside me, But she'll be there when I'm gone
Black heart scarring darker still, yes she'll be there when I'm gone.

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Hiiro loved Usagi as he had never loved anybody else; even Relena.

Relena had been his first saviour. The one to keep him sane when everything could have fallen apart. She was perfect for him in the days when the Gundams were still needed. She held an aura of peace, and in that peace he had taken sanctuary. With her dark blue eyes, she had anchored him to life. Her whispering voice had melted the ice around his heart. He had almost achieved compassion because of her. Almost.

He had truly loved her, just not the way she had wanted. He had inevitably pushed her away; she just wasn't the one for him. She anchored him to life, but she wasn't his life. She didn't truly need him, she only thought she did. She was still waiting for him though.

Still waiting for the man who would never come, for he had his own agenda now. His own life and his own love.

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Lay beside me, tell me what I've done
The door is closed, so are your eyes.

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Hiiro was devastated after the memory of Duo had hit him with astounding force. He just couldn't forget. So he didn't forget. He let himself remember. It played itself over and over. After Duo died, Wufei had followed him not even ten minutes later.

Hiiro could see Wufei's eyes. The black pupils so dilated that they seemed to cover the whole eye. The dead looked that haunted Wufei's eyes mirrored Hiiro's own. That was the worst part; that someone knew how he felt. Then it all fell apart.

"What have you done? Hiiro...what have you DONE?" Wufei's face was wet with tears. His hands clenched by his side as he shouted at Hiiro.

"I-i-i..." Hiiro couldn't speak. He could barely even make a sound. His mouth formed words that didn't make it past his throat.

Wufei's voice dropped to a whisper. His code of honour slowly made its way around the room. He suddenly tensed as he pulled out his katana and jumped at Heero.

BANG!

Wufei lay on the floor with a bullet through his heart. His pristine white shirt gradually became saturated with blood. He gasped for shallow breaths as he stared at Hiiro.

"Wufei...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me, please...I'm so sorry, Wufei..." The words suddenly slipped from his mouth as easily as his usual grunt. Tears tracked sluggishly down his face as he whispered apologies to Wufei, one after another.

Wufei closed his eyes and fell into an eternal sleep.

Not even a word of forgiveness. No spark of acceptance. Not a breath of pardon. How could Hiiro live peacefully after that? But then, did he deserve to live in peace?

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But now I see the sun, now I see the sun
Yes, now I see it.

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"Guess what, Hiiro?" She giggled and smiled at him. What could she possibly want this time? He smiled slightly to himself and sighed in mock exasperation.

"What, Usa?" Her eyes flashed with triumph as she caught him in her web.

"Well since we've finished the project, I figured we had to have some excuse for practically living together. What do you say to us...going out sometime? Like, on a date?" Heero's eyes widened with surprise before he caught himself.

"Sure, Usa-ko. Whatever makes you happy." His eyes smiled briefly before he turned away to work on the computer.

He, incidentally, missed the stiffening of her body. Usa-ko, no one had called her that except for Mamoru. And he was gone. She wondered, briefly, where he had thought of the name. She immediately dismissed it, for she knew that too many answers led to too many questions.

And questions were bad. They were very bad; they came with too many memories, most of them just as bad as the questions.

Yes, questions were bad.

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Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits,
The one who waits for you.

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Usagi had once had the ability to become a Queen. Unfortunately her soul was tainted with the blood of human beings before she could ascend to her throne. Youma and evil queens were one thing. They were not human. She had defied the laws set upon the Lunarian descendants by killing Terran humans. It was forbidden, and she had broken the law. She would not become Queen.

"Why did you do it? Why did you kill them?" The voices seemed to come from far away. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe.

"I had to," she whispered. She had to take revenge. She had to get back at them. What kind of person would she be if she hadn't done anything? If she had let her family die in vain?

"How could you? You know the laws. You know that you can't become Queen! We needed you, Usa! How could you do this?" A memory of a girl with raven-black hair and violet eyes flamed.

"Rei," she mumbled. Her friend's name was Rei. Who were the others?

"Yes, that's her. Usa, honestly. What were you thinking? We really needed you! What are we going to do now?" Green eyes flowered with concern.

"Makoto, I'm sorry..." What was she saying? Makoto must be her name, she hoped so. Otherwise she was spouting out names that had no meaning. Other names fluttered through her mind.

Motoki...Naru...Unazaki..Umino...

"Usagi! It's too late to be sorry! How could you forsake your duty like this? I may not be the best of the senshi, but I would NEVER do something as stupid as this!" A vision of eyes like her own appeared. Who was this one? It couldn't be herself. That was ridiculous. Oh yes, it was Minako.

"What do you want me to say?" There wasn't anything else to say. Nothing left to say.

"Usa, maybe you could explain in more definite terms as to exactly what your reason was for killing Terrans." Blue hair. This one had blue hair. How odd...who had blue hair? Did she dye it that color? Ah, right. Ami, who else would talk like that; she frowned.

"I had to. What else is there to it?" Nothing. She had already established that. There was no-

"USA-KO! WHY? Don't you understand? Don't you get it? I have to leave you! I have to go away! Don't you care? Don't you care that we'll never see each other again? That I have to try and learn to love another girl? Someone who isn't you?" She was jolted out of her trance. Mamo-chan, her beloved. He was leaving...?

Her eyes widened in shock. Of course, she had renounced her claim to the throne the second she had spilled the blood of a Terran. Mamo-chan would have to marry another princess; another girl who had no blood on her hands. She stumbled backwards.

"No..." She moaned. This couldn't be happening. She was losing everything.

"YES, Usa-ko. Because of what you've done, we can't be together anymore. I can't see you anymore. I don't want to go! I don't want to love another girl. But I have to. DUTY calls. Just like you said, because we have to."

"No, don't leave me! Please!" Tears tracked down her face; slowly at first, then faster and faster. The sobs hurled from her throat in an attempt to show her grief. She raised her eyes to look into her beloved's one more time.

They were so cold; so unforgiving. And yet, something like regret lurked beneath the surface. She closed her eyes and fell to the ground.

"Good-bye Tsukino-san. Don't try to contact us anymore. We've already taken the Ginzuishou. We don't," his voice stumbled and broke slightly, "we don't need you anymore. Sayonara."

Sayonara...

She never did see them again. She supposed she would someday, when they controlled the world. Or maybe it would take years and years to find a replacement for her.

One could only hope.

After that, she met Heero. He became her protector, like Mamoru had been. But this time he didn't protect her from evil beings threatening to take her body. Heero saved her from the threats inside her mind. The surreal monsters. He was there for her, in ways that her Senshi could no longer be. He always would be there for her.

Just like she was for him.

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I take this key and I bury it in you
Because you're unforgiven too.

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She was his angel. She might not really be one, but she was his angel. He took his life, his past, and buried it. They buried it together. They would forever live for each other. They took the keys to their past and threw them away. Because in their minds, they would never be forgiven for the sins that they had committed. For the lies that they told.

For the hatred that burned deep within.