OMG I'm doing another Avenue Q Songfic, but I have to, because this is one of the best songs in the whole show! Plus, I thought it would be fun.
Odd glared as he walked the hallways of Kadic Academy. Two younger students were following him around, one with a mic, the other with a video camera, trying to catch this new story.
"Mr. Della Robia please tell our viewers what's going on! After all, you've gone TWO WEEKS without a girlfriend, a staggering new record!" said Milly, pointing her mic at Odd as she walked behind him. Tamiya was hurrying along behind her, trying to get a shot of Odd's face.
"Don't you have to go and pester Sissy? I hear she's being more annoying than usual." He said, trying to escape.
"That's not half as interesting this!" said Tamiya.
"But neither is this!"
Milly laughed. "Are you kidding? The school player doesn't have a girl and that's not big news? No wonder you're failing half you're classes!"
Odd turned around and screamed "I DO SO HAVE A GIRL YOU-!" he covered his mouth. What had he just said?
Milly and Tamiya's eyes lit up.
"YOU DO?!?!?" they both screamed at once.
Odd began to blush and turned away, trying to leave the scene, but the girls continued to follow him.
"Who is she? What's he name? Why doesn't she want people to know? Is she embarrassed by you? Is she younger than you? Where did you.."
"ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS!" shouted Odd.
"But we need to know these things for the paper!" said Milly.
"Well then maybe I should make a big announcement about it so people don't have to read the stupid paper!"
Odd froze. Was he just completely full of idiocy or only fifty percent?
"Really? Well there you have it people! Odd Delerobi is going to tell the whole school all about his new girlfriend on stage at 2:00 this afternoon!"
"What? I never said that!" said Odd, panicking. Just then, Tamiya shouted "CUT" and turned off the camera.
"Thanks so much Odd! We're going to go tell Jim to reserve the stage for this afternoon, bye!"
With that, the two girls sped off to the soccer field to find Jim. Odd stood there, dumbstruck about what had just happened.
Definitely 100 full of idiocy.
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As he told the rest of the Lyoko gang about what had happened that morning, they all began to laugh.
"Odd, you really shouldn't let your pride get the best of you!" said Jeremy.
"Hey, be careful of what you say Jeremy, if Odd didn't screw up like this all the time, the average school day would be boring!" laughed Ulrich, who was soon joined by the rest of the table.
"Oh wow, thanks a lot Ulrich! It's nice to see how your best friend treats you in times of need!" said Odd, as he let his head drop to the table.
"Hey, you got yourself into this mess, so how are you going to get out of it?" asked Yumi. Odd glanced up at her with a 'How should I know?' look.
"What about if you just say that you were lying and call it off? Pride got you into this mess, and if you swallow it, maybe it'll all be better!" said Aelita.
"Yeah, but then my image gets hurt to, so it's like a double whammy!" said Odd. He started to repeatedly bang his head against the table. How could he have gotten himself into this mess?
Ulrich held Odd's head from smashing into the table anymore.
"Hey, upset or not, breaking the table isn't going to solve it."
Odd nodded as Ulrich let him go. "Maybe I should just crawl under something and die, or maybe I'll get lost, or move to another country or..."
A little light went off in Odd's head. That was it!
"Sorry guys, I gotta go, I just figured out how to escape this whole thing!"
And with that, he raced away back to his dorm room.
As the others watched, Yumi couldn't help but ask
"What do you think his idea is?"
"Judging by the look on his face," said Ulrich, "a really stupid one."
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Everyone had gathered in the auditorium to see the big news about Odd's new girlfriend. Of course it had taken some persuading to get the principal and Jim to agree to this, but when Milly and Tamiya had said that it would teach the students how to be a good audience, he finally agreed.
"So, who do think the girl is?" asked one student.
"I don't know, but it's not me." said the other.
It was 1:55 and Odd hadn't shown up yet. Yumi, Aelita, Jeremy, and Ulrich all had front row seats. There was nothing in the world that was going to make them miss this.
Odd arrived about a minute before he was going to go on. He ran through the room to get to Mrs. Hertz.
"Mrs. Hertz," he said, "You can play the piano right?" She gave him a funny look.
"Well, yes I can, I took it for ten years when I was younger, why?"
"Because I need you to play this when I tell you to, ok?" he said, handing her a few sheets of music. She nodded and followed to the back of the stage where she took seat at the piano, ready to play.
At exactly 2:00, Odd came out onto the stage. There was a large applause.
"Hi everyone!" he said, "I'm sure you all know that we're here to talk about my new girlfriend, but there's a problem."
The room was full of whispers.
"You see, my girlfriend couldn't make it here because... SHE LIVES IN CANADA!"
There was more whispering, and a few audiable 'what?'s from the audience.
Odd looked back to Mrs. Hertz and gave her an ok signal. She started to play, and Odd started to sing.
OOOh I
Wish you could all meet my girlfriend,
My girlfriend who lives in Canada
She couldn't be sweeter, I wish you could meet her,
My
girlfriend who lives in Canada!
Everyone in the audience was dumbstruck, except for Yumi, Aelita, Jeremy, and Ulrich who were all laughing their heads off.
Her name is Alberta she lives in Vancouver
She cooks like my mother
And has great kissing maneuvers
Odd gave a quick triumphant laugh for no reason.
I email her every single day
Just to make sure that everything's ok
It's a pity she lives so far away
In Canada
Everyone else was starting to laugh too.
Laaaast week she was here but she had the flu.
Too baaaad, cause I wanted to introduce her to you.
It's so sad, there wasn't a thing that she could do
But say in bed with her flu justt like I said
Oh!
I wish you could all meet my girlfriend,
But you can't because she is in Canada!
I love her I miss her I can't wait to kiss her
So soon I'll be of to Alberta
There was a little silence as Odd realized his mistake
I mean Vancouver!
In his mind, he was saying, 'Stupid, her NAME is Alberta, she LIVES in Vancouver'
Yes she's my girlfriend, my wonderful girlfriend
Yes I have a girlfriend
Who lives in Canada!!!!
And I can't wait to make out with her again!
By this time, the entire audience was in stitches. Odd smiled to himself and shouted
"Thank you Kadic Academy! Now you know about my girlfriend!"
Milly and Tamiya were simply staring at Odd as he stood there smiling on the stage as everyone laughed at him. They already had a headline for their next story:
'Odd Delerobi: 100 percent of Idiocy'
Well, there we go. I've had an obsession with that song for the last few days, so I decided to write something down for it! Of course, I couldn't use the original lyrics (too explicit), so I changed them a bit. I thought it was fun, and I hope you did too! Good night everybody!
Quotes from: Me (8th grade, this year)
"Why that's insane!"
"Buenos Nachos everybody" (ok, that one was from my friend Kelsey)
"Do you have a damn, because I can't give, what I don't have."