A Few Days in December
December 23rd
The mall is crowded. I should have known last minute shopping was a bad idea. Typical man, leaving it all to the last minute. We've been here an hour now, I think he's about done.
We struggle to move through the sea of shoppers. And then I hear it, and it stops my heart.
"Emily! Emily! Come here, you'll get lost in the crowd."
In a second I feel his hand around mine and he squeezes it. I squeeze his back and try to hold back my tears.
"You OK, Scully?" he asks. "Come on, let's get out of here."
I can only nod and I allow him to lead me to the exit, through the parking lot and into the car.
He climbs into the driver's seat and looks at me, waiting for me to speak.
"I'm sorry," I say between sobs. "Hearing her name, it still gets me."
"I know". His hand is around mine again and I squeeze it gratefully.
We stay like that until my tears have abated, and then he starts the car.
"I'll take you home."
"Thanks Mulder." I manage a small smile.
I didn't have to say a word to him. He just knew what to do.
We pull up at my building and he shuts off the engine. I don't have to ask, he follows me inside.
"Coffee?" he says once we're in my apartment.
"Please." I say.
He goes into the kitchen and I follow behind. I lean against the door frame and the tears return. He puts on the coffee and when he turns back towards me he sees me crying. In two strides he is beside me and his arms are around me. He just holds me and lets me cry into his chest.
"Hey, it's OK," he says softly and I feel him kiss the top of my head.
"I just miss her so much still," I say to his sweater. I pull back and breathe. I look up at him. "Thank you, Mulder."
"I didn't do anything," he says.
"You didn't have to," I tell him. "You were here, that's enough."
I take another breath and rub my eyes. I think I'm done crying.
"You OK now?"
"I think so," I tell him.
"I'll make that coffee now then."
I go into the living room and put on a CD of Christmas songs. A moment later Mulder brings in a tray with the coffee pot and cups on it. He sets it down and we sink into the couch.
"Usual family gathering at the Scullys' this year then?" he asks.
"Yes." I say, wishing I could muster more enthusiasm. "Come with me?"
"Scully I couldn't intrude on a family Christmas" he says.
"Mulder, you wouldn't be intruding. You know my Mom loves to have you over, she asks every year whether you will be joining us, and besides, I want to spend Christmas with you."
"But your brother, Bill-"
"Won't even be there." I cut of his attempts to protest further. "He and Tara are going to Tara's parents this year. It'll just be Mom, Charlie, Anne and me. And you, I hope."
He considers this for a second. I can see him thinking about my Mom's cooking.
"Well Scully, how can I resist an offer like that? OK, I'll be there."
I smile at him, pleased.
He pours me another coffee and then flicks the stereo off and the TV on.
"Mulder! I was listening to that."
"But I though we could watch a movie together," he says, flicking though the channels. He settles on 'Miracle on 34th Street' and leans back on the couch, pulling me to him.
I love this movie and decide he is forgiven. I tuck my legs under myself and settle back against him.
An hour or so later we are both asleep on the couch. I wake with a start to the TV screen playing infomercials. I consider moving and going to bed but Mulder is still fast asleep. I know he doesn't sleep well so it doesn't seem right to disturb him. I fish around for the remote and flick off the TV. There's a blanket over the back of the couch. I reach to pull it down over both of us and snuggle back into Mulder. He stirs. I feel him kiss the top of my head and his arms tighten around me. I smile, feeling safe, and drift back off to sleep.