A/N: The angst in "Rage: Aang's Other Side" is getting to me. . .
I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or the song "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson.
"Everybody's got a dark side . . . Nobody's a picture perfect . . .
Please remind me who I really am. . ."
-"Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson
Katara ran as fast as she could to the nearest river. Though she didn't know exactly where it was, she didn't think twice about where she was going; it was a full moon after all. The water was calling to her, and all she had to do was follow its pull.
Unfortunately, it wasn't the only one. There was something else calling her, pulling her in the opposite direction. It was the reason she couldn't sleep; it was why she took off in the first place.
Blood. Toph's blood, Sokka's blood, Aang's blood . . . as much as it disgusted her, she couldn't deny the thrill of having so much power over someone. She knew how horrible the puppet-like feeling was, but the temptation was appalling as it was great.
She was a monster; she knew that. A power-hungry monster, bloodthirsty in a different way.
She felt the cool river air greet her and she relaxed a little, momentarily distracted. She took a few steps forward, focusing on the clean, fresh water waiting for her.
She took a deep breath and raised her hands, ready to bend.
You're a bloodbender, Hama's raspy voice came back to her. Her words as well as her evil cackle rang in her ears.
She covered them tightly with her hands, trying in vain to shut out Hama's voice.
Eventually, it became more than she could take. She fell to her knees on the marshy riverside and broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.
She just couldn't understand it; everything had happened so fast. She was a good person . . . she was fighting for a better world. How did she suddenly turn into a bloodbender in one night? She hadn't even known it was possible until a few hours ago.
She looked up at the full moon, feeling betrayed. How could you? she thought angrily. How could you do this to me? The moon had always been sacred to her; it was the source of waterbending, the first waterbender. It was from where she drew her strength, and it was literally one of her friends: Princess Yue. Now it had become an everlasting reminder of how she had transformed into a monster.
Hama . . . this was her fault. Why did she have to pass on that cruel technique to her like some sort of disease, like some kind of unwanted heirloom? Why? Why?
"Katara."
She whipped around. Through her fuzzy vision, she could barely make out a dark figure. Normally, this would have frightened her, but she just stared at it dully. She was a bloodbender, after all. She was to be feared as much as that dark thing, if not even more.
"Katara? It's me, Aang."
Her eyes widened and she quickly turned away, shutting her eyes.
"Go away, Aang. Leave me alone," she said.
"I don't think being alone is what you need," he answered evenly. Katara heard him step closer.
"How would you know what I need? Just go back to sleep like Sokka and Toph."
"I'm a waterbender too, remember?" he said, and she could hear the half-smile in his voice. "The full moon keeps me up just as much as you."
She opened her eyes. "The full moon doesn't turn you into a monster the way it does to me," she replied bitterly, glaring at the moon's reflection in the calm river. Aang didn't have to ask what she meant.
"You're not a monster, Katara," Aang told her quietly.
She looked at him coldly, but the Avatar didn't flinch. "There's no use denying the truth, Aang."
"Exactly."
She sighed, annoyed. "Just leave me alone."
"I know how you feel, Katara," he told her in the same quiet tone. "To be scared of power. How do you think I felt when I hurt all those people while I was in the Avatar state?"
She gave him a pained look. "You don't know how it feels, Aang. You have no idea how it feels to have total control over someone, to have someone completely at your mercy. It's absolutely terrifying and exhilarating at the same time." She searched his eyes for any sign of fear, but they were as calm as ever.
She turned back to the river. The water wasn't calm anymore, responding to the turmoil inside of her. "The worst part is, it's addicting. I know it's horrible, but there's just this sick part of me that wants to bloodbend." She hugged her knees. "Honestly, there's a part of me that wants to bloodbend you right now," she said miserably.
Great, she thought. Aang believed she wasn't a monster, but with her speech, she was positive she had him fully convinced otherwise.
She waited for him to leave, or to back away at the very least. Much to her surprise, however, he sat down right next to her.
"Okay, so maybe I don't," he admitted. "But look at the moon." They looked up. "They call that a full moon because it looks like a perfect circle. But in reality, only half of it is ever lit up at most."
Katara was quiet.
"Like the moon, everybody's got a dark side. It's all about balance, Katara," he continued. "Yin and yang. There'd be no good if there wasn't any bad."
Skepticism was evident in the waterbender's eyes. "I can hardly imagine what your dark side would be like," she said, but Aang was already shaking his head.
"You've seen that side, Katara," he said darkly. "You saw me when I found out Appa was missing. I took out my anger on everyone. I said lots of hurtful things and I was being unfair. I even . . . I even . . ." His voice quivered.
"Even what?"
"I even went against an Air Nomad teaching that time."
"What?" She was shocked; she knew how much Aang loved his people's culture. He was fiercely protective of his heritage, and even Sokka knew not to crack a joke about it.
He averted his eyes. "That buzzard wasp that took Momo . . . I—I killed it," he confessed, hanging his head in shame. "Just out of spite."
Katara bit her lip; Aang strongly believed that all life was sacred, and was even a vegetarian. "I could just imagine Gyatso looking at me disappointedly," he continued glumly. "I felt like a monster."
"You're not a monster," she told him firmly.
He cast her a sideways glance. "You aren't one either." Katara had nothing to say to that.
He drew in a shaky breath. "The point is, there's bad in everyone. It's all a matter of overcoming it."
"You . . . you think I can?" The utter vulnerability in her voice surprised even her.
"Of course," Aang smiled at her. That little gesture raised her spirits a little; it was the nicest thing she had seen all night. "You're one of the strongest people I know, Katara, not to mention one of the most selfless. You're willing to defy yourself to save your friends." She blinked; she hadn't thought of it that way. "I'd be a skewered Avatar right now if it weren't for you."
She shuddered at the thought. "Don't even think about it, Aang."
The corner of his mouth twitched, showing just the hint of a smile. "All I'm trying to say is that you're not a monster, Katara, and you never will be. You're a naturally good person."
"I appreciate it, Aang," she said. "Really. But the very fact that I bloodbent someone . . . I don't care if Hama's evil or if I had no other choice. I willingly controlled someone; I can't forgive myself for that." The tears leaked out once again. "I can't undo what I did."
"You don't have to be anything you don't want to be," he reassured her. "You're the one who shapes your own destiny. Look at your Gran-Gran; she didn't want to be controlled by her tribe's customs so she chose to run away."
"That's a totally different case, Aang—"
"You can choose, Katara," he insisted. "You can choose not to bloodbend ever again."
She frowned. "But I'll always have that . . . that sick capability."
"What makes someone a waterbender, Katara?"
Katara blinked, surprised at the sudden, out-of-place question. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Just answer me."
She sighed, tired. "Someone who can bend water."
"But if that someone chooses not to bend, then he or she might as well be a nonbender, whether or not he or she has the capability, right?"
"I—I guess."
"Then the same goes for you. You're not a bloodbender if you choose not to bend blood. And that's what you choose, right?"
"Of course. But Hama said—"
"Who are you going to believe, Hama or me?" He fixed his eyes on her.
Katara looked back at the deep gray. They were sincere but also serious, and they belonged to one of her closest friends in the world. She trusted him with her life; how could she not believe him?
"You," she sighed.
"Okay, then." He smiled crookedly. "You're not a bloodbender."
Katara couldn't argue with his sound logic. You're not a bloodbender, Aang's voice echoed in her mind. You're not a bloodbender.
"I'm not a bloodbender," she whispered.
"You sure aren't. You're Katara of the Southern Water Tribe, a master waterbender and healer, my kick-butt waterbending sifu, and not to mention the most awesome friend I could ask for," he said, elbowing her playfully. He grinned winningly at her.
She smiled back, flushing a little at the flattery. "Thanks, Aang. I really needed that reminder." She paused for a moment, regarding him thoughtfully. "You're pretty wise for a twelve-year old kid, you know?"
"I've been told." He shrugged. "I've got countless of past lives' worth of wisdom, after all."
Katara laughed lightly at that, and Aang was glad to hear its musical tone once again.
Neither had anything else to say, so they just sat in contented silence. The river, Aang noted, was calm once more. Katara occupied herself by idly toying with a small wisp of water.
Meanwhile, the reality of the situation started to hit Aang: how close they were, how they were alone in front of a gentle river on a beautiful night. How, under different circumstances, the whole thing was almost like the date he had always dreamed of.
Now that Katara was fine, he noticed how she seemed to glow under the moonlight in the way only a waterbender could: full of radiance and strength. Her crying had made her cheeks rosy, and her blue eyes seemed even more striking in contrast to their dark surroundings.
And he was supposed to believe she was a monster? Her bloodbending didn't make her any less in his eyes; instead, his idea of her as a strong and selfless had only been reinforced.
He shook his head. He was a hopeless case indeed.
Katara turned to him and he jumped a bit, looking like a kid that had been caught red-handed.
"Something wrong?" she asked.
"N—No. Nope. Nothing." He tried his best to fix his expression into something convincing.
Katara rasied an eyebrow. "If you say so," she replied doubtfully.
She then turned her attention to the moon, which was now partially covered by treetops. She didn't hear Aang quietly huff a sigh of relief.
"We should get back to camp," she said. "We're going to be flying today, right?"
"Yep." Aang got up and helped Katara do the same.
"Aang?"
"Yeah?" He turned his head.
She kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks again."
He flushed red and blinked, dazed. Katara, who was already a few steps ahead, looked back. She smiled slightly at his expression; though she would never admit it, she thought it was cute whenever Aang blushed.
"You coming?" she asked.
"Oh, uh, yeah, right behind 'ya!" he said, catching up to her.
Meanwhile, the full moon disappeared behind the trees.
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