Throw away almost all of canon, and concentrate on the Staubrey.
It's basically a twist on the classic Staubrey trope, so I hope you like it.
The solution, Stacie decided, surveying the utter misery of her fellow Bellas, all lying on various parts of the bleachers after another one of Aubrey's "wind-down cardios", is to get Aubrey laid.
Easy enough in theory: Aubrey was pretty, and not into niche things like science fiction or genre shows. She was smart, but not to the point that everything that came out of her mouth required intimate knowledge of a dictionary or collegiate text book.
She was a bit (a lot) high strung, however. And a control freak (not that being a control freak was always a bad thing). And the very definition of being high maintenance.
No, getting Aubrey Posen laid was going to be a challenge.
It wasn't hard to conclude that Aubrey wasn't getting laid, especially after they had been taught the choreography to Turn the Beat Around. Stacie had suspected as much for weeks, because that kind of forced, controlled smile was not something that came from someone who got much — or any — and when the choreography turned out to be as conservative and controlled as Aubrey Posen, Stacie had known for sure.
Because there was nothing conservative or controlled about Turn the Beat Around.
It's around the third time Aubrey told her to keep her hands away from touching herself that Stacie decided she would be seducing the graduating Bella. Because if the current population of Barden weren't good enough to get Aubrey Posen into bed, then clearly this was a job for the Hunter.
The way she figured it, if she succeeded, Aubrey would loosen the reins during Bellas practice and make the experience more fun and free of pain. If Stacie did the job spectacularly, maybe Aubrey would loosen up enough to let them change their set a little, hopefully to something a little more… contemporary. Or cool. Or even just current.
If she failed… Well, failure wasn't really an option, because Stacie liked the Bellas (even with Cynthia Rose's obvious… fixation). And if failure wasn't an option, that meant Stacie couldn't be obvious with her plan of action.
Which, if she'll be honest, was having no plan at all.
Asking Chloe about Aubrey's preferences was out of the question, since Chloe would get involved, and Stacie was pretty sure Chloe was incapable of tact (she heard about her shower duet with Beca, which, damn Stacie was in the wrong dorm).
And since Aubrey's social stock crashed and burned after last year's ICCA final, nobody would admit to having slept wi... er, dated her, that meant Stacie would have to go in blind.
And, yes, Stacie had considered that the incidence of homosexuality among women was on average one in every ten, and Cynthia Rose was clearly their one (clearly); but Chloe pings at least flexible, and Denise kind of maybe pings a little (she's not sure), and Beca pings wildly around Chloe. Aubrey? Aubrey was like an asexual panda, as if sex fell well below school and studying and music and Bellas and possibly even the new iPhone (if pandas cared about any of that stuff), but anyone that obsessed with fitting in and being mainstream and traditional had to have some skeletons in her (ha) closet.
Stacie mostly just wings the first stage of her seduction: mild touches when Aubrey's nearby, referring to her at every possibility, sitting with her during Bellas rehearsals when opportunity arose. Really, just getting Aubrey used to her proximity and warming her up to the idea of Stacie Conrad. But the road to Regionals was a bumpy ride, and Stacie would like to live to at least finish her first college semester, so Stage One was mostly intelligence-gathering, and very (very) mild seduction, something she hoped will come to fruition when they won (or qualify) and made it to the next round, in what she hoped would result in celebratory drunken revelry. Preferably a private one. A girl can dream.
The dream died as soon as that window in the concert hall shattered, and Beca got arrested.
(Thanks a lot, Beca.)
Which resulted in Aubrey obsessing over how they now had a delinquent on their squad, and how that kind of conduct must seem to a cappella insiders, and aca- oh my God. Stacie reconsidered her plan of seduction, which made her reconsider how Aubrey should just get laid, which made her consider just getting Aubrey drunk and see where Drunk-Aubrey would go.
"Not a good idea," Chloe told her one night, at a campus party they both ended up in with nary another Bella in the room, when Stacie voiced her complaints about Aubrey's drill master tendencies and how to get her to ease up. According to Chloe, Aubrey had a decently high level of tolerance for alcohol, but went from sober to drunk without an in-between stage, and Drunk-Aubrey had a 50/50 chance at becoming extremely mean or extremely affectionate.
Drill Sergeant Bellas Captain Posen could get even meaner? No thank you.
Not that Aubrey even needed the alcohol, because knowing they had just barely edged out the sock puppets meant Aubrey tightened the reins a little more. When classes were a reprieve from the hell that was Bellas practice, well…
It said a lot that even Hunter was too exhausted from Bellas practice to even want to go on the prowl.
The Plan had to take a back seat, however, when a random run-in with Aubrey gave Stacie an "in" with the tyrannical captain.
It was late one Friday night, and Stacie had been heading home from a fraternity house party that she had decided to leave early, having nobody there to talk to and ultimately being bored out of her mind. It hadn't helped that some jerk kept trying to hit on her and offering her alcohol, as if her desire for sex was equivalent for her having low standards. Ahead of her on the sidewalk was a very familiar figure, with her bag and a pile of books in her arms, which informed Stacie that Aubrey must have been either going to, or coming from, the library.
She sped up her steps, and reached out, opening with, "those look heavy."
Aubrey jumped, and Stacie yelped, jerking back as an elbow jabbed in her direction. Aubrey gasped when she recognized her assailant, and realized she had been about to further debilitate the Bellas by taking down their best dancer. "Stacie! You can't just grab someone like that!"
Seriously, Aubrey's instinct was to jab someone with an elbow?
"I took self-defense, so what?" Aubrey replied, because apparently Stacie had voiced that question out loud. She took note of Stacie's outfit, and smiled knowingly at where Stacie must have been coming from, or going to. "Omega Chi?"
Stacie nodded mutely. She knew she should say something, be a better conversationalist, tell Aubrey about the party at one of Barden's more reputable frat houses (sorry, SBT), but Aubrey's hair was becoming undone in its bun, giving the older girl an unkempt, messy look, and Stacie wondered why Aubrey didn't go around looking like this more often, because it was HOT, in all caps.
Aubrey nodded in approval, and motioned over her shoulder. "Well, have fun." She turned to leave. "'Night, Stacie."
Shit. Wait. No. "Coffee!"
Aubrey turned back, startled at the sudden outcry from the younger girl. "Coffee?"
"Yeah." Stacie nodded enthusiastically. "We should get coffee."
"It's almost midnight." Aubrey pointed out.
"It is?" Stacie asked, confused. At Aubrey's nod, she drew out, "…it is." She glanced at the books in Aubrey's arms. "You'll need it to study?"
"I just came from the library." Aubrey corrected the assumption.
Stacie was fading, fast. "Friday night coffee party?"
Aubrey looked skeptical. "Really?"
"Come on." Stacie cajoled, because that was not a no. "My doctor always said coffee is the fuel of life."
Aubrey's skepticism was more evident now. "Your doctor said that?"
"Yeah. My doctor…" Stacie's voice grew faint. "Maxwell. House."
Aubrey couldn't help but smile at the hopelessness that was Stacie's attempt at being low-key. "Your doctor's name is Dr. Maxwell House."
"No relation to Gregory." Stacie added. Shit, did she really just relate a coffee brand with a tv character?
"I'm sure." Aubrey concurred in muted bewilderment. She paused in consideration, glancing back over her shoulder in the direction of the residence she shared with Chloe, and sighed. She turned back to Stacie, resolute. "Sure. Why not. Let's get coffee."
"Really?" Stacie asked, surprised. She had expected Aubrey to make an excuse, or call for a rain check.
"Yeah." Aubrey shrugged. "Do you have a place in mind?"
That was how their coffee dates started.
Well, not exactly 'dates', because Stacie only called it that in her head, and Aubrey never called it anything at all. But once or twice a week (more, if the Bellas behave and Beca hasn't somehow managed to get on Aubrey's bad side... so really just once or twice a week, but definitely on Friday nights) the two of them end up in the same small cozy off-campus café, which had an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie that was to die for.
Coffee with Aubrey was a surprise in how easy it was to just sit with her and talk. Aubrey was a surprisingly good listener, despite her combative relationship with Beca, and she offered Stacie some advice on the younger girl's current status as having an undeclared major, not even batting an eyelash when Stacie revealed she was torn between pursuing a Maths or Science course. People tend to be incredulous and disbelieving when Stacie told them that, but Aubrey had just nodded, and pointed out Maths had more career prospects in general, but Science would be more challenging in the long run. And as if Aubrey's high strung personality during Bellas practice hadn't been a clear enough indicator, it was during their coffee meetings that Stacie learned the amount of pressure Aubrey was under as a graduating student, to graduate with honors and applying for a post-graduate program her father would approve of. They also talked about the Bellas, and it was nice for Stacie to learn that away from practice, Aubrey had mostly nice things to say about the group — with the exception of Beca — even if she was a little critical of their preparation for the semifinals.
Preparations that proved pointless, because Aubrey insisted on using the same music that the Bellas before her had insisted on, a set she wanted to prove could lead Bellas to victory, a set she wanted to be vindicated for. Stacie didn't have the heart to tell her how absolutely boring the set was. She couldn't really fault Beca for trying to remedy the sleepiness of their performance at the semis, but it was like Beca just enjoyed finding ways to unhinge Aubrey's sanity.
Sympathy sex didn't even occur to her, and Stacie wanted to curse herself when she realized she had let the opportunity pass. And she realized belatedly that there was a very real possibility that what she actually wanted from Aubrey was more than just sex.
When they got back from Spring Break, with news that they were heading to Finals in New York after all, Stacie was surprised when Aubrey invited her for coffee before the Bellas were supposed to reconvene.
What wasn't a surprise was that Aubrey was still annoyed with Beca, especially since Chloe had really taken to heart what Beca had said before she'd left the concert hall, that she didn't really have a voice in the Bellas, and had been taking it out on Aubrey by giving her the silent treatment before, and during Spring Break.
"…And I keep telling her, fish in the sea, but…"
"She wants a very specific Beca-fish." Stacie finished for her. "The heart wants what it wants."
Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Chloe's heart's resilient. Anyone would be lucky to have her."
Stacie tilted her head to the side. "Have you?"
"Have I what?" Aubrey asked, sipping her drink.
"'Had' Chloe."
Aubrey sputtered, barely managing to keep herself from sending her café latté all over the table, and struggled to recover. "What?"
"Chloe's hot." Stacie pointed out. "I'd do her."
Aubrey frowned. "Really?"
Stacie nodded. "Would you?"
Aubrey's frown deepened, and Stacie started to worry that she'd overstepped. Or had been reading Aubrey all wrong all year.
"Chloe isn't really my type." Aubrey finally admitted. "She's selfless to a fault, but she needs someone who'd cater to her whims. I prefer everything to be straightforward. If I'm into someone, I want it to be simple, and easy, someone who can just tell me what they want. You know?"
She did now. Stacie nodded. "So, Chloe: she really likes Beca, huh?" Off Aubrey's alarmed look, Stacie quickly explained to assure the blonde she hadn't just outed her best friend. "It's kind of obvious, the way she looks at Beca."
Aubrey deflated. "I guess. I don't know. I didn't even think really about it, until this whole thing. She keeps telling me I've been ruining her chances since Beca joined the Bellas. I think I've been pretty supportive, even if I thought it was just another one of her crushes."
"That was you being supportive?"
Aubrey shot her a look. "Given how Beca Mitchell has been totally oblivious and constantly makes Chloe sad by being selfish and self-absorbed, and won't even deny her toner for that new Treble? Yeah. I think I was."
Okay then. Stacie decided to not touch the subject again.
Stacie looked at the older girl expectantly. "So what are you gonna do?"
What Aubrey turned out doing was making up with Chloe by making her in charge of managing the Bellas, making sure they were taking care of themselves while Aubrey tended to the more grueling task of figuring out the logistics of their trip to New York. She also handed Beca the pitch pipe, because honestly Beca's knowledge of music was more vast than her own.
And she asked Stacie out to dinner.
It was after they finally decided on what their set was going to be, when Aubrey had been largely out-voted on her stand to preserve the Bellas' tradition of only performing songs by female singers, when nobody in their right mind would have wanted to be around Aubrey to bear the brunt of that tirade, but Stacie had long ago lost her taste for self-preservation when it came to Aubrey, so she had chased their captain down.
It wasn't a date.
At least, Stacie was pretty sure it wasn't a date, because a date required at least three hours' worth of prep time, with grooming and worrying about what she was wearing, and all that jazz. Not a casual invite after rehearsals that led to dinner, and dessert, and a walk through the town where Aubrey pointed out the places she was going to miss, once she graduated.
Aubrey had been accepted to Barden's post-graduate program, but she'd also been accepted to another one in Boston, which was far more competitive and prestigious, and there was little debate on which one her father wanted her to go to.
"Well, it's Boston," Stacie pointed out, as they made their slow walk back towards campus, their hands brushing together slightly every so often. "Who wouldn't want to go?"
"The mortality rate of their program's really high."
"Yeah, but you're tough. You'd tough it out just to prove a point." Stacie pointed out.
Aubrey remained unconvinced. "I don't want to stay with a post-grad to prove a point. I'd want to stay because I like it."
At that statement, Stacie laughed, unable to control herself from doing so.
Aubrey shot her a glare. "What?"
"You made us sing that Eternal Flame mashup to prove you can win with it." Stacie pointed out. "I'm supposed to believe you when you don't want to do anything just to prove a point?"
Aubrey rolled her eyes, but her lips quirked into a smile. "Shut up."
Stacie grinned as they walked on in companionable silence. As they neared her dorm, however, she asked, "What do you think our chances are at the finals?"
"Ah! I don't want to think about it." Aubrey shook her head. Neither of them mentioned what a departure that was from earlier that year. "If I do, I'll start worrying, and if I worry, I'll freak out, and if I freak out, I might barge into Beca's dorm room and make her come up with a mix until we find the perfect one."
Stacie smiled at her. "Well, I'm just glad you're getting along."
"Let's not exaggerate."
Stacie laughed.
When they got to the front door of Stacie's building, she turned to Aubrey. "Thanks for dinner. Maybe some warning, next time?"
Aubrey smiled apologetically. "Yeah. Sorry about that. I just… I realized I'll graduate soon, and I would be leaving all this behind."
Stacie nodded. "You'll miss it?"
Aubrey contemplated the question for a moment, a small smile on her lips. "You know what? I will."
"Then I'm flattered you showed me." Stacie replied. She turned towards the door, but was abruptly stopped by a hand on her arm. She turned back, confused. "Is something wrong?"
"What? Yes. I just…" Aubrey shook her head, but didn't release her hold on the tall brunette. She gave Stacie a small smile. "I just realized, I never said thank you."
Stacie frowned, confused. "For…?"
"Friday night coffees?" Aubrey reminded. "I can't imagine what kind of hit that must have put on your social life, so thanks."
Stacie laughed. "You're welcome."
"Not even going to deny it." Aubrey said, bemused. She shook her head in mock disappointment. "Good to know."
"No!" Stacie giggled, shaking her head as well. "I mean, it was fun. And you don't need to thank me."
"No, I really do." Aubrey insisted. "Chloe's always been there, but between the boys, and her taking too many classes to try and graduate on time, and this year Beca… I know I was a pain in the ass at the start of the year, and honestly I don't know how far I would have pushed everyone if I didn't have Friday night coffee to keep me sane. Not to mention the mostly vomit-free existence."
"Well," Stacie shrugged, feigning nonchalance while inwardly pleased that her efforts had been appreciated, "Friday night coffee helped keep me STD-free, so I guess we're even?"
Aubrey blinked, startled and confused, before laughing softly and shaking her head in amusement. "Got me there. Good night, Stacie."
When rehearsals stepped up a notch and Aubrey got even more busy with preparations for the ICCA finals and finishing all her requirements for graduation — nobody seemed to question why Chloe wasn't as stressed about graduation as her best friend — Aubrey had to beg off Coffee Fridays, which Stacie could understand. But for the days and weeks that followed, Stacie often wondered if there had been a point during that entire exchange that she had been expected to make a move, or if she had somehow thrown Aubrey off from making one. It had been a total cliché of a setup, after all, what with the long walk after dinner and being at Stacie's building's front door…
Had she missed her chance?
Stacie had convinced herself it was better this way, that she had not succeeded in seducing the Bellas captain and neither of them had pushed their friendship further, since the dynamic of the group is dependent on their general camaraderie and friendship, and Stacie was glad that it was intact. Some days Stacie truly believed it was better, that she and Aubrey had never crossed the line of their friendship.
Generally. Mostly.
Maybe just a little.
Not really.
Because when Aubrey went and undid the bun she'd kept her hair in during their Finals performance, and she was smiling and laughing and just generally having the time of her life, Stacie realized just how much she would miss Aubrey, that the girl would be leaving and all Stacie would have of Aubrey were memories with the Bellas, and coffee on Friday nights.
Then Beca jumped off the stage to kiss that guy from the Treblemakers, and she really didn't want to know what it felt like to be Chloe at that moment, watching the girl she liked making out with someone else.