The Golden Sand

Chapter 1

Uncoiling

I heard the sound of crashing swords, as the darkness slowly clears. I don´t know what I am doing, how I am, nor where I am. That vagueness last´s only an instant. Before me stands a familiar landscape. The lake on the back of a temple. The muddy glow, and ahead of me Ilya, her hair white as snow almost hiding her face, crucified in that strange cross of red energy. Behind it, something like a black hole is floating in the sky. I know this. It´s the essence of the tainted grail. But. I know I can´t concentrate on that. Below the white girl, there´s that priest, wearing his somber cassock and with the cross hanging from his neck. Kotomine Kirei. That name still makes my teeth chatter.

A fight that will decide everything unfolds before, like back then. I see myself, like this is some kind of movie, running forward towards the priest towards the priest, without thinking of what could come next. The only desire boiling in me is reaching him, I can use the trump card Tohsaka left me to even the overwhelming odds to erase him from this world. Those are not the thoughts a hero should have, even towards a villain like him, but it fills my brain and cloths like blood.

I jump to the side, narrowly avoiding behind hit by the tentacles of black mud. Only ten meters were between us, but my advance is slow down. The tentacles keep increasing as I talk with him, exchanging words that I can´t heard nor remember. And in end, he baits me. Tells me to put my life on the line to reach him, like I need to be told every single thing.

I struggle to avoid the tentacles, but they are so many and so fast, so I can´t avoid being hit. The mud sticks to me, burning away my clothes to expose my skin. I soon lose all feeling in my ankle. At that time, my mind was so occupied I didn´t notice it, but now I know that each attack is just to toy with me. They are sent not to kill, but to push me back. I ran so much, but at the end of the fierce attack the distance between us remains ten meters. I put the streght I can muster on avoiding the tentacles, not even trying to do anything but prevent my death by now. I trip, and my body falls. The pressure of the pain and the mud drives me to fall, and I left at the priest´s mercy. He soon makes the darkness consume me, and I see hell.

All the crimes of humanity were engraved in my mind, so much so that I can remember everything from that time. The starting penalty is five... But I don´t die. This is bad dream, but things happen as they had happened before. I manage to push myself out of the dense black mud, leaving behind the voices of the damned spitting their curses. I am soon swallowed once again, but I make it. My one, only perfect Projection. Avalon. The light of the utopia she sought blows all the darkness away, and I run, with the Azoth Sword in my left hand. The priest is shocked, so everything ends in instant. I stab the sword into his chest, and active it. The overflowing magical energy coming from the sword tears apart the priest. He falls, and sinks into the black mud.

The end of the battle, and of the War. It has been fourteen years already, but it´s still burned brightly into my mind. The thirteen days; my only time with Saber. Soon, Saber comes to me and destroys the Grail. Alone, in the hill, with the wind blowing, we look at each other. I remember how beautiful she was, framed by the sun. But I don´t remember her voice, nor of she smiled. Even her is fading away from my brain. It´s only natural. Yes, it is...

"Shirou, I love you." But I have keep those four words in my heart through everything I have done, my struggles, the discovering and mastering of my Projection magecraft. The people I could save, and the people I let down. The smiles, and the tears of those I had to trample upon. Even if I forget everything, I never forget the words she left me before disappearing forever, back to her own time. I couldn´t never forget about her love, that brilliant golden hair, the miracle of our meeting.

Before my eyes, Saber´s fades away again. And I am left alone on that desolate hill, with the remains of the fierce battle and Ilya, sad but not bend nor broken. The only thing her disappearance did was fuel my determination. That night of fate that started everything... I had to make sure that, once I would reunite with her, I wouldn´t regret what I did.

I wake up. The ceiling above me slowly comes into focus. With a hand on my head, I stand up. That dream again. So many years ago, I had continuous nightmares about the fire, and they resurfaced again during the war. In these twenty years, those dreams have been replaced with dreams of the war, out of order, jumbled and with mistakes that quickly slip away from my mind once I wake up. And I don´t like them at all. I accepted Saber´s disappearance before it ever happened, but as much as relieving my memories with her empowers me, I don´t like feeling like I a losing her again. It´s all the more painful, since I don´t have here to lose in the first place. It makes me felt empty, tiny and so powerless...

I get up, throwing away those thoughts. There cannot not be any hesitation. Twenty years would be a long time for anybody else, but it´s nothing to me. The distant dream I wish for, the Ally Of Justice that can end any calamity. I can´t reach such a thing in ten years. That´s right. An ideal is not worth calling such if it can be reached in such a short time. So, I have to aim towards the horizon. Following the fading echoes that Saber left me, I have to grasp my own future with these hands. That´s the only path possible for Emiya Shirou. It just how things are.

Even if I only felt like I am dragging myself forward, leaving pieces of myself behind only for the sake of that dream. Even if when I look back now, at that noble ideal I saw in my childhood, and know that in my heart of hearts that it has become a duty, those feeling are natural since I am only human. But. I am me until the end. I will not betray myself. No matter the things I drop on the way, the memories that disappear meaninglessly in front of my eyes, I know that I have to do this. Something so dizzying and sacred can´t not be abandoned. Maybe there´s nothing brilliant enough to make up for all the things I lost in the end...

Even so, that´s life.

That´s fine, too.

I get out out of the hotel, and wander the streets, my body tense, keeping my arms to the side and my hands clenched. It´s winter, and it feels like it is too, so I put on a scar. Kazimo. I have been in this city before a few times. Two or three. Five, at the most. I couldn´t be sure. After so many years, and since I don´t allow myself to form a connection with anybody, the cities all blended into each other. In any case, I am here on the look out for crimes I can stop without risking being exposed. It´s limiting, and really frustrating, but it can´t be helped. I only have my Tracing version of Projection. All other uses of magecraft are beyond me, so satellite monitoring and other such things are a problem to me. Besides. Dressing up as a hero to not expose my identity would just cause me more problems. Is better to stay like this during daylight, and do my best to help people despite those necessary limits.

I notice nothing of note through the streets. The people were peaceful, even if it was only for today. Even if may not last an hour more, or even a second. It´s nice. I don´t dream of a world without conflicts, no such a thing exists, but I can´t deny that simply seeing people smiling naturally and living their daily life makes me happy.

As I pass the bridge, I heard a quiet, strangled sound that sound like somebody was crying. Even with reinforced hearing, I was only been barely able to heard it. It could have be my imagination, but it didn´t matter if it could or not. A hero wouldn´t pass on a crying person, just because it seemed that they had only imagined it. So I looked below, towards the sound. There was a girl there, below the bridge, sitting with her back against the wall, curled into a ball and hugging her knees. Along with that, her small form was soaked. It made her look so small and vulnerable...

I clench my fists. It could be something petty that seems big only to kids, like a disagreement with a friend or something like, but somehow I doubt it. I really doubt it. This is something serious. That face of hers. Even partially obscured by her deep red hair, I recognize it. It´s the same face I made back then, for so many years, after being rescued by Kiritsugu. Those eyes devoid of light, reflecting only a deep emptiness. Only so much worse. I had something to keep me moving forward, to allow me to live with my head held high, but this girl doesn´t seem to have anything. So... so as a hero, I have to give her everything. I jump over the railing, into the grass below. I land in a crunch, and walked to the huddle form of the girl that couldn´t have more that ten years old. She didn´t heard me come. Or at least, she didn´t even care. Which was worse.

I like to say that I don´t know enough about the world to not have an idea of just how bad her situation would be, but that´s wrong. I have more that enough experienced with the ugliness of mankind to torment myself with the worst possibilities, without even knowing that if my bad feeling was more than that. When there is only a meter separating us, she lifts her head and looks at me.

...It´s worse that I had imagined. I could only see a part of her face back then, so I thought she was similar to the me from back then. Empty, but keeping on living just because I thought I couldn´t die. Because I thought that if a miracle happened that allowed me to live while other´s died, I should at least life my life until whatever end awaited. But that´s clearly wrong. This girl´s soul has been poured out like water; she doesn´t even seem to care about living. I force myself to relax my tense body. I couldn´t stand scaring her.

"What´s wrong?" I said, making my voice as soft as it can be. Which is not that much, honestly. I might be mistaken for... I don´t even want to finish that thought.

"I..." her voice was as small as herself, and broken like she looked. She stood up, her long, thin legs lightly trembling. "Just pretend you didn´t see me."

I reach out, and grab her sleeve. She stops on her tracks, freezes and doesn´t say anything. That´s the action of somebody who is afraid of pain. A kid shouldn´t even know it. I don´t like where this is going, but it seems to be the truth. She was abused. Can´t guess to what extend, but I can´t think of any other reason for her behavior. If it was merely because I grabbed her, and I was a stranger, a kid should start shouting insults at me or even try to bit me. But this was different.

"I can´t do such a thing. Look. I won´t say I can help you with what you are going through, because that´s pretending I understand your pain without even knowing what happened to you. But. I can at least listen to what have you to say, if you want me to."

"You... You wouldn´t believe me."

"And why is that?"

"Adults don´t believe in magic." I freeze. I know that as a kid she might still believe in those kinds of things, and I might not have any reason to freak out, but maybe it´s the real deal. I don´t know what sort of supernatural creature would leave her alive, or how could she have survived such an encounter, but it´s still a possibility I can´t ignore.

"Try me."

"...You aren´t from this city, then. You should know the bare details, if you were." she sucked in a breath, and released it. It made me want to hug her, caresses her hair, tell her everything would be all right and she didn´t need to worry about anything anymore. It was... not right. None of this was. To right these wrongs. That´s the reason I am chasing after my father´s ideal, not because it was what he left for me in his last moment. I just can´t stand to see anybody suffering.

"No, I am not."

"I see. Well, that makes it easier, at least." Before I can ask what she means, she takes out something from her pocket. An oval shaped gem, with a shining red color. I don´t know why exactly as she took it out, but I can felt great magical energy coming from it. Whatever had happened to her had to do with real magic, then.

"Stop that." I said. She only huffed. "Look at me."

I extend my left hand forward, so she can see clearly see it.

"What are you doing?"I smash the hammer in my head down, making my magical energy flare up inside of me. The heat and the pain have stopped being a brother for a long time. Yang sword Kanshou forms in my right hand. The eight steps are put together perfectly in a matter of seconds. "How..:! But you didn´t use it! A-and you aren´t even a girl!"

I don´t know what she means by that, or what my gender would have to do with anything, but that can wait. I dispel Kanshou, making the steel blade vanish without a trance.

"Can I listen to your story now?"

She only nods, numbly. She sits back down, and I sit next to her, under the bridge. I look at her. She is looking down, without saying anything. It´s fine. She needs the time to straighten her thoughts, especially because I gave her quite a surprise just now.

"Ah..." she slowly begins, her hands clasped together as if in prayer. "I... I, well. I a-am the daughter of a local priest. The people didn´t listen to his ideas. He tried his best, but the people only looked down on him and ridiculed him. He was a really kid, maybe too kid. Every morning reading the newspaper, the worries of the world brought it to tears. One day an animal suddenly appeared to me. Sort of like a cat, actually, except it wasn´t. And it talked. It said it would grant me a wish in exchange for becoming a magical girl..."

A wish in exchanged for power. That was too good to be true. The only question is what the catch was.

"So I wished people would listen to me father, that they would give him the chance he deserved. It happened. The very next day, his church, which was empty since a long time, was full to the brink with people. In exchange for that, I had to go and use my powers to fight these... things. Kyubei." Oh. I almost mistake the name, for a second. It´s almost the same, but does have it´s differences. Kyu... it can meant nine. Might just a coincidence, but I didn´t like the implications. "Ah, it´s the name of that cat like creature. Anyway. It calls them Witches. It already told me before I made the contract, by the way. I just realized it can be interpreted like that, and well. It really wasn´t so bad, at the beginning. I believed my father and me could change the world together. Hell, I admit it was happy. How could I not be? I got a badass suit, a spear, I could use illusions like I was some anime character and I fought to protect the world itself. I was a real life superhero."

Oh. That last sentence felt like a punch to the gut. Now I a can see where she was coming from. Certainly, if such a contract had be proposed to me anytime before the Grail War, I would have taken it. It wouldn´t have even mattered to me that there would be some sort of catch involved, as long as it was the only one who would bear with the repercussions of it. Of course, if I even managed to figure out there would be catch, in the first place. Which wasn´t all that likely, to be honest.

"And then..." I subconsciously lean forward, trying to find an appropriate response. If she starts to cry, I... "He found. My father. And he wasn´t happy about it. He called me a witch who tempted men´s souls, and snapped. He didn´t do anything after that, despite his anger, but during the next few days he seemed lifeless, like a puppet. He preached without passion and the worshipers responded to his words, like always, because that´s all they could do. One night, he got drunk and killed my mum, my sister and tried to kill me. Then he hanged himself. Only I was left alive, and only because of the regeneration this t-thing, the Soul Gem, gives me."

I don´t have any words for that. I have see many awful things, but this was one of the worst. I mean... shit. I can´t even imagine what she was going through right now, and it must have been only a few days since that happened. At least, that´s what I think because of her previous comment. I put a hand on her shoulder. Just a hand. I don´t think she would be comfortable if I gave her a hug. I try hard hard to ignore the implications of her words, and concentrate on being there for her, if she needed it.

"T-that´s it. Now, tell me how the fuck you did that before." she says, but she doesn´t complain about what a did. Well. That was some progress, I suppose.

"Magic." I drily answer, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little bit. I thought about chastising her for her language, but I don´t think she appreciate that at all.

"I get that already!" she snapped back, crossing her arms beneath her none existent chest. Okay. I am terrible at this joking thing. "I just don´t get how you could possibly do it when you are a man, and you didn´t even transform or anything."

"Transform?"

"Yeah, you know. Transform. I am pretty sure that, even at your age, there was Magical Girl anime." she had said that. She really had just said that. God. I am not even sure of to respond to that shit. It´s fucking ridiculous. I imagined this tiny girl fighting nightmarish monstrosities in a frilly, far too sexualized dress and a ridiculous pink wand.

"Okayyyyy. Leaving that aside, just think about it. Do you really think this Kyubei is the only one who can use magic naturally?"

"...Oh."

"We magi are plenty, but we hid for normal society. It has to do with that, well, it wouldn´t be smart to reveal ourselves to the masses since most would react badly. To say the least." I had been about to say 'like you father', but thankfully realized it before I could screw up so badly. "It also has to with the principles of magecraft, as of itself. The more people know about a mis-about a spell, the weaker it gets. Spreading around the truth doesn´t do any good for us, in either case. Anyway. What I did is called Projection. It´s used to create something out of the user´s magical energy. I don´t know if there´s an equivalent for you..."

"No. Puella Magi can only use one thing born out of what they wished for. I asked for people to listen to my father, so I got the power of illusions. That´s as far as I can go." It made sense, for what I know. For what little information I got of it-if it´s even an it, in the first place- I can´t say that I know of it, butt it´s existence is not exactly special. There are all sorts of creature who concede a wish for a price, and instead of being that, Kyubei could simply be a magi´s familiar that was leading girls to fight, out of all of people, against creatures for some purpose, grating them Mystic Codes who could be interpreted as fitting their wish. I don´t have an idea of what purpose would be, though, aside from a sense of sick amusement. If these Witches were a serious threat, the magus would enlist the help of somebody who could actually do something about it. All it all, this situation didn´t make much sense. I need more information.

"I see. Do you have anywhere to go?" I ask, suddenly changing the topic, just to be sure. I can´t imagine why she would be out here, under a bridge, if she had some place to go, but I felt that it would be rude to not ask. Instead of answering, the girl clammed up. I took me a moment to realize why. Should have guessed. Maybe it had only been a few days, or even a week since it happened, but this girl was alone, desperate and with magical powers. It wouldn´t be hard to rob a few places from money, and use it to rend a room with the excuse that it was the money her family left her or something like that.

"...I have a place in a local hotel." she answers, her head slightly held down.

"I don´t care that you have stolen, okay? I am not going to judge you. Is not your fault. None of this is."

"R-really?"

"Of course. That´s not why I asked you, anyway. In any case. If you have more questions about magecraft, then please leave then for later." I say, and kneel in front of her. "Do you want to come with me?"

"...What do you meant?"

"I meant that if you want to be adopted by me." the girl seems speechless. Not only out of the actual offer, but probably also because I have not even asked her name yet. Which is rather rude. Should rectify that shortly. "I am not gonna lie. I am not exactly material for father of the year. I am not terribly good with kids, and I constantly move around the world, so you will not ever have a place to settle down if you follow me. But I care about you, and I will make sure you can be happy."

She doesn´t answer.

"You don´t have to felt pressure into it. If you don´t want to come with me, I just make sure a good person adopts you or I ask a friend of mine to take care of you. She is not like me. She doesn´t go wandering around the world or anything, so you probably be better off with her. Anyway. I just want to heard what you want. I won´t leave you alone no matter what happens, though."

"...Can I?" she asks, after a few seconds of silence. "Can I come with you?"

"Of course." I answer, putting on my best smile. Then I take off my coat and give it to her. It´s obviously too big for her, but she takes it and puts it on. After that, I take off my scraf and carefully wrap it around her neck, making sure she is well covered. She brings her hands up to it to touch it, with a strange expression on her face. "I know it´s not much. Your clothes are still soaked, so you could easily catch a cold, but I think it do for now."

"It´s warm." she shyly breathes ut. "Thank you."

I extend my hand towards her.

"Let´s go." I call out to her.

Her face lights up. She grabs my hand, and squeezes it.