I was sulking. I knew I was, but I couldn't help myself. I was hurting everyone around me. Oliver thought I chose him over Jack, and I did, but I loved still loved Jack. I loved Jack in a whole different way than I loved Oliver. But I couldn't hurt him. I couldn't let him know. Ever.
I'd hurt Jack by telling him that I loved Oliver. That I was in love with someone else. I knew he was hurt. I wouldn't be surprised if he never wanted to talk to me again. But, I knew - in my heart of hearts - that that was just Abbadon. He always flirted around and wanted something he couldn't have. If he didn't get with Azrael, his soul-mate, also known as Madeleine (Mimi) Force, he would be like my mother. He wouldn't be himself. He wouldn't be whole. Mimi was his other half.
But in the process of all of this, I'd hurt myself the most. I'd hurt myself telling Jack that I didn't love him. I hurt myself telling Ollie that I loved him in a way that I really didn't. I hurt myself by ignoring my heart.
I was looking out of the tinted window in Ollie's limo. The Conclave decided to let me remain in New York for the time being. They would get to my case when they were finished with the Silver Bloods. That gave me hope, but just a little bit. I was always on edge. I kept looking over my shoulder.
"Skye?" Oliver said. He grabbed my shoulders and made me face him. He wiped the tear I didn't know was falling away from my face. "You okay?"
I cleared my throat. "Oh, yeah. I just missed New York more than I thought." I tried to make it look like homesickness. Oliver tilted his head, but shrugged. He hugged me.
"We're home now, Skye. You can stay with me for a while, or go home if you want. We still have to go to Duchesne. It sucks, but what are we gonna do?" he replied with a laugh.
I pulled away from him and gave him a sad smile. "At this point, I'm ecstatic to be going back to school." I paused and thought about that. "I never thought I would ever say those words." I was actually feeling a little better.
He laughed. "So, do you want us to drop you off at your house, or do you want to come to mine?"
I turned back to the window. There was somewhere else I wanted to go, actually. But I couldn't let him know that. He would have to drop me off at my place and I would have to walk there. "Ollie, I just want to go home. I'll meet you later tonight?"
"Of course. Call me." he said, and opened the door. I was about to ask why he did that, but I noticed we were in front of my house. The Van Alan mansion. It'd been so long since I'd seen it, I almost thought it was a dream. I sighed.
"I'm home." I whispered. I hopped out of the car. "Bye, Ollie!" I yelled and ran into the house. I didn't even bother to see if Hattie or Julius was home. I ran to my room, with it's yellow mountain dew colored walls. Beauty was laying on my bed, looking at the door like she expected me.
"Beauty!" I shrieked. I jumped on the dog, and she mauled me with kisses. I hadn't known exactly how much I missed her. I knew I didn't have long. The Conclave would be watching my every move. I needed to move as fast as I could. In a flash, I was in our apartment.
I'd probably spent hours waiting in here. I looked around at the place. It hadn't changed. I still felt like he would be here any minute. I sat down on the floor in front of the burnt-out fireplace. I sighed.
That's when I heard it. The click of the door. I'd just looked at it when it opened.
"Now, where did I put that damned boo-" He stopped abruptly when he saw me. He shook his head like he was imagining something. When he closed his eyes for a moment, I got to my feet so that I would be able to run easier.
He looked at me again. "Schuyler?"
"Jack." I replied. He was so beautiful. He must've spent a lot of time outdoors because his hair was lighter than I remembered. His blue eyes bore into mine, as if he looked away I would disappear.
"I knew you were back. I'm happy." he said.
"It doesn't change things, Jack. I'm sorry." My heart was breaking on the inside. All I wanted to do was hold him, and tell him that it was all a lie. I wanted to comfort him and tell him that there was nothing in the world I wanted more than I wanted him.
He looked to the floor and let out a small laugh. It was rehearsed, I could tell. He looked back at me with a confused face. In less than a second I was up against the wall, his face an inch away from mine. Our lips were so close. I could feel his breath.
"If you didn't love me, Schuyler…than why is your heart fluttering? Thump." He smiled.
I looked away.
Please, Jack…
Those pained eyes caught mine again. I was pleading.
Really, Schuyler?
This was it. With one word, I would make or break his heart. "Y-"
Before I could say it, his lips were crushing into mine. This made my mind shut off and my body reacted. I missed this. I needed it; I needed it so badly that my heart was shattering into a million pieces just from the thought of leaving him.
"Jack…" I pulled away from him.
"I love you, Schuyler."
Oh, no.
But I can't, Jack.
And with that, I left without a second glance.