Udderly Heartless
Word Count:
"This is ridiculous!" James shouted.
He was standing in their bedroom and looking at himself in the full mirror. He didn't know how he had let Lily talk him into this mess. Although, he knew that one look in those beautiful eyes and any thought of countering what she said would be out the window. This once he had wished that he could have just said no.
"Oh, come on! I bet it can't be that bad!" Lily shouted back, coming around the corner and into the bedroom.
The moment her eyes landed on him, she couldn't contain her laughter. She had to clench her sides from hurting, she was laughing so hard.
"This is your fault," he said quietly.
She stopped for a second to wipe the tears from her eyes and walked over to give him a swift kiss on the cheek before she started laughing again. James just rolled his eyes, unamused, as his wife laughed herself into an oblivion.
"That's it! I'm changing! We are not going to this party!" He argued, throwing the mask to the floor.
"No no no! I'm sorry, my darling! It's just that you make such a believable cow!" She said it quickly so that she could continue snickering.
"I'm not sure I'm up for this," he whispered to himself.
"Oh, don't get your utters in a twist," Lily said, laughing even louder at her silly pun.
"Very funny," he said, picking the mask up.
"Just don't make a fool of yourself around Aunt Mildred. You know, she's lactose intolerant," Lily cackled.
"Are you done?"
"Maybe, if the party comes to a standstill, someone can tip you over,"
"I can't believe this," James sighed heavily.
"You know I'm just milking it for all it's worth,"
At this point, Lily was leaning against the dresser trying to catch her breath from all the laughing she had been doing. She was too busy laughing to notice that James had started to laugh too. Before you knew it, they were a cackling mess on the floor.
After a few moments, they had finally settled down and Lily gave James a gentle kiss to lift his spirits.
"I do take responsibility for the ridiculous outfit. If I had known it was going to be a costume party I would have opted for us to stay at home," Lily said, caressing the side of his face.
"I don't understand why we couldn't pick our own costumes," James wondered.
"I guess Aunt Mildred wanted everyone to be something different. Besides, everyone knows that underneath this costume you're a grade a steak!" She started laughing again.
"How many more cow puns do you have?" James asked.
"Plenty more," she answered honestly.
"Well, as much fun as this is, I need to continue getting ready. Have you seen my belt?" he asked, getting off of the floor to continue the preparations.
"I think I saw them in the barn," she giggled.
"Man, you sure are punny today," he said quietly.
Lily just laughed lightly and looked at her watch before grabbing her cowboy hat off the dresser and fixing her belt buckle.
"Wow, the time sure is flying. Come on sweetie, let's get a moooove on,"
"It's not funny anymore," he argued, putting his mask back on.
"Are you kidding? It's udderly hilarious. Maybe later you can teach this cowgirl how to ride a bull," she winked from the doorway.
James was stunned as he watched his wife sway her hips while she walked down the stairs. Needless to say, he didn't argue with anymore of her puns for the rest of the night.