And then, all of a sudden, we're kissing. Origami Pig plays on in the background, and all I can see are Naruto's eyes: blue, blue, blue and looking as surprised as I am. The kiss itself is awkward, close-lipped, both of us unwilling to initiate anything more, especially when we're staring each other in the face. After a few seconds, I pull away, feeling utterly ridiculous. Naruto is blushing something fierce, so I mutter something about tea and flee.
Safe in the sanctuary of my kitchen, I ponder over the incredulousness of the situation. I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed with the whole "first kiss blushing virgin" thing that's supposed to happen, because secretly the idea that Naruto is a virgin makes me giggle - anything to lighten the atmosphere. There were no metaphorical fireworks, I didn't feel particularly turned on, just acutely embarrassed and thinking about what would happen in the morning when we weren't both so drunk. I dread going back into the lounge, but the telltale click of the kettle tells me Naruto knows I'm hiding.
I put the teapot, two mugs and a jug of milk onto a tray and head back to face my doom. What I expect to find is Naruto sitting on the couch, still beet-red, leg bouncing up and down and looking extremely uncomfortable. What I do not expect is to be jumped from behind, the two hands that grab my waist surprising me and causing me to drop the tray. The crash makes Naruto jump, and suddenly he's over the other side of the room, looking like he's about to cry or leave or both.
I stare helplessly at the broken china, then at Naruto, then back at the china, and then I burst out laughing. This seems to worry Naruto even more, I note as I wipe a tear away from my eye, so I control myself and put him out of his misery.
"Naruto," I say between chuckles, "don't worry about the china. It was old anyway." The whole dear-caught-in-headlights look slowly leaves Naruto's face, and he sags slightly.
"Oh god," he says, his hand covering his face, "oh fuck, I feel like such a retard." I say nothing to this. Naruto produces a sound that is suspiciously like a sob.
Finally he seems to come to his senses and says "We'd better clean up all this", so we spend the next ten minutes picking up shards and wiping up tea and artfully avoiding any sort of physical contact with each other. The situation is so comical that I'm expecting Kiba to jump out of the pantry and scream "GOTCHA!" at any moment. But he doesn't. What does happen is Naruto accidentally cuts himself on a piece of milk jug, and suddenly the floor is covered with blood as well. This is the final straw for Naruto, who starts apologising almost fitfully, so I bandage his hand and tell him that I'll see him in the morning. He looks almost guiltily happy to be walking out the door.
After he leaves, I clean up the floor, take the broken china to the bin, make myself another cup of tea and go to bed. It's 8:00.
The next morning, Naruto doesn't show up for our 9am lecture. I decide against texting him and sit by myself, taking notes on autopilot and thinking about the previous night. It had been a perfectly pleasant afternoon: Naruto and I had decided to see a movie, as friends do, and grab an early dinner at a Mexican restaurant, as friends do. Then Naruto had come back to my apartment to have a drink, and drink is what we did. We discussed everything from our mutual hatred of Intelligent Design to Sakura's new boyfriend, a med-student called Jimmy. Then, just as Naruto was insulting the new French president Sarkozy, I had an overwhelming urge to kiss him. So I put my glass down and turned to face him. Naruto noticed my change in attitude and asked me what was wrong, and suddenly we were kissing each other. I don't even remember who lent forward first, although I have a suspicion it was me.
I don't notice that the lecture has ended until Neji comes over and asks coolly whether I've finally gone insane. I only just remember to glare at him and then I'm out the door and into my next lecture, which is Chemistry. It's only as the professor is balancing a particularly nasty chemical equation that I realise if I don't sort out my feelings for Naruto soon, I might lose his friendship for good.
After the lecture, I grab a bite to eat with Kiba and Hinata, who are too busy with each other to really pay attention to me, which is alright because I don't really feel like talking anyway. As I watch them sucking each other's faces off (or rather, Kiba trying and Hinata protesting weakly), I feel a sort of aching sensation in my chest, and I realise that I don't want to see Naruto gone from my life. And then it hits me:
"Well, fuck me," I exclaim to my salad, "I think I love him."