"How long are you going to keep ignoring her?"
Haruna asked this nonchalantly one day at lunch break. They were sitting together at a table, eating a bit later than the others because they had been caught up laughing about the last manga they'd both read.
"Specifics? I don't know what you're talking about" Duu replied, still eating.
The older girl nodded towards the other side of the room. The ever-hyper and smiling Sato Masaki was walking back and forth, waiting for Sakura to finish her lunch and hoping she'd go play with her.
"Maachan. Are you two not on good terms?"
"Why wouldn't we be?", Duu replied a little too quickly. Haruna looked at her friend knowingly.
"You two had an MC together at the last concert. I don't want to sound nosy but I saw you getting mad at her when you two were practicing. Anything to do with that?"
Duu was still playing with her food.
"You know how she is, Harunan. She just kept... hugging me, running around, laughing and holding my hand. All the time"
Haruna laughed slightly, with that reassuring and soft voice of hers. "Is that all? I thought you'd be used to it by now! That's just Maachan being Maachan, you can't really do anything about it"
"Yeah, well, maybe she should cut it out sometimes" Haruka had been sulky all day, and the words were coming out meaner than she wanted.
"Why don't you talk to her about it, then? Listen, you know she really likes you. You used to get on so well. It's only natural, she's an bit of an affectionate girl..."
"A bit?" Duu raised her eyebrows, looking at her friend this time. She'd finished her lunch and couldn't keep using her food as a distraction from the conversation.
"A lot. But that's how she is. It can be a bit over the top sometimes, but she does it out of love! She's just a kid, really..."
"Well, maybe it's time she grew up, then!" Duu lashed out, and inmediately regretted it. She'd raised her voice more than she meant to, and the other girl looked a little hurt. Around the room a couple of staff members pretended they hadn't just turned their heads at her shouting, and a loud door slam indicated that Masaki had also heard her and probably stormed off looking offended.
Haruka ran her fingers through her short hair and left the table.
"Sorry, Harunan, I'm not feeling too well"
She walked out of the room, her cheeks slightly red from embarrassment and guilt, heading to the dressing room. As soon as she reached it, she closed the door behind her and fell onto the nearest bench. She felt exhausted. No wonder she wasn't being herself today. She really needed to rest and get away from everything; a day off, maybe. Even when she closed her eyes, her head felt like it was going to explode. And not only because of the rehearsals for the new tour.
Haruna didn't deserve her acting up like that, she thought guiltily. She was a sweet and genuine girl and a good friend of hers; even though she had to admit that with her being an adult and older than herself, she had to put up with a lot of Duu's teenage angst. Today was no different. She'd make it up to her: yes, she'd buy her that manga she wanted, or invite her to ramen...
Masaki, on the other hand, was a different matter entirely. Duu still wasn't sure how to aproach that girl, even less after what she'd heard her say. She sighed to herself. It's not like she hated Masaki, not really. Ever since both of them had joined Morning Musume as the two youngest members at the moment, they had been a pack. Maachan clinged to Duu like a newborn puppy follows its owner, and Duu, despite being younger in age, would feel protective of her. In interviews, in concerts or even with the other members, she'd always make sure the somewhat crazy airhead that was Sato Masaki was looked after and didn't get herself into trouble.
On other ocasions, though, it was the combination of the two kids that would be the ones causing the trouble. She smiled to herself remembering how they would drive their senpais up the wall sometimes.
Duu had always been responsible and mature for her age. She loved to play around and have fun, but she was serious about her job and liked to be in control of the situation. With Maachan, however, she was allowed to indulge in the other girl's crazy personality and just be a child of only 11, 12, 13 years old. Overly affectionate, hyper Maachan had always been the one that brought that part of her out.
What had changed, then?, she asked herself with a hint of nostalgia.
Maybe I just grew up.
She decided she didn't like that thought. She was still on the younger side of the group, only sixteen years of age, but there were already two new younger generations and the members that she had known when she joined the group were starting to slip away. Maachan no longer had an older girl to cling to, they no longer had their age as an excuse for their troublemaking, and Duu herself found she was starting to find her friend's constant shower of affection more uncomfortable than she ever did.
The other girls don't seem to be bothered, she'd tell herself. Just get over it.
But then one day after a concert Duu exploded and screamed at Maachan after she'd given her a peck on the cheek in the middle of a performance and then had kept embracing her backstage. Flustered and embarrassed, she lashed out at Masaki and Maachan screamed back, saying she hated her and that she was an idiot. It wasn't the first time she'd said those words, of course. But the next day, Maachan was clinging at the more easy-going Oda Sakura's arm and didn't so much glance towards Haruka. And that was that.
It had been some time since then. They still got on, but it never was like before; Duu kept her distance, and Maachan looked for affection elsewhere.
She couldn't help but wonder, though. About the way she seemed uncomfortable around Masaki's innocent hugs and kisses when nobody else cared too much about it. How she felt she had to look away, sometimes, in the dressing room. How she'd feel flustered holding hands with some of her friends, giddy about getting to play the male lead in the stage plays. She normally just brushed the thoughts off as it didn't seem like something to worry about, but she wasn't stupid either. Deep down she knew something was different.
"This no-dating, no-boys rule is getting to my head", she'd laugh to herself sometimes. She was a teenager, it was only natural she'd start getting romantic feelings. She only wished they didn't so often feel directed at her fellow members. Masaki, specially...
This had to stop, she decided. She was being stupid and inmature and didn't make sense to keep ignoring one of the girls she had to spend so many hours a day with. She'd suck it up, say sorry and...
"Duu!"
A high-pitched, annoyed voice called her nickname from outside the dressing room. Haruka bolted up from the bench where she'd been lying and stood up, making herself look a bit neater.
"Duu! Open the door!" Masaki kept shouting from outside, knocking insistently.
"Keep it down, would you?" said the shorter haired girl as she opened the door, slightly annoyed. Her expression softened as soon as she saw a puffy-eyed Masaki standing in the doorway looking miserable. Suddently she felt protective over that puppy-eyed girl standing before her. It's not like she could get mad at her now. "Oh, Maachan... come here"
Still in the comfortable clothes they used for dance practice, with tiny twintails each side of her face and a pink t-shirt (from the previous leader's graduation, most likely), she dropped down onto the same bench Haruka had a few minutes ago. She looked so unlike her usual self, Duu's inside's seemed to squirm. Out of everyone in the group, seeing Masaki cry was the most heartbreaking sight of all.
She sat next to her friend and waiting in silence for a few moments until Maachan's sniffles quieted down.
"Listen..."
"I just..."
They both started talking over each other, and then fell silent inmediately. "You first", Masaki said.
"No, go ahead", Duu argued. The other then sighed and stood up, as to prepare herself.
"I... I wanted to say sorry"
Duu looked baffled. She certainly didn't expect that.
"What are you talking about? It's me who should apologize. I've been really mean to you these past months", she said, feeling guilty. The other girl shook her head.
"No way. You don't have to pretend to be nice, ya know? I know I annoy you. I know you don't want to play with me, and I shouldn't be so clingy all the time..."
Masaki seemed to have really thought this over, Duu said to herself, and it made her feel bad. This was all wrong. It was Sato Masaki they were talking about: the ever happy, oblivious girl. She wasn't supposed to apologize for being herself.
"Crap..." Duu muttered, ruffling her hair and making her look similar to a small, wild animal. "C'mon, you shouldn't be the one feeling bad about this situation, Maachan. I pushed you away because I was... confused. You were right, I guess I really am stupid!"
This made Masaki laugh a little. She smiled softly and Haruka felt like a wave of comfort suddenly washed over her. Her chest felt warm; she really did care for this girl. She needed her to be the way she always was after all.
"You're not stupid, Duu. Not really", Maachan admitted. "Just dishonest"
Haruka didn't say anything, just stared at her. She seemed more mature somehow, not as oblivious and selfish as she was before. Maybe she'd never actually been as careless as everyone thought.
"Be honest, Duu. Do you want me around or not? Just tell me how you feel"
Duu felt like her chest was going to explode. It could be so straightforward, she realised. There was no reason for her to keep brooding, to bottle it up and make it eat her up from the inside. Masaki was making it simple. Her heart was pounding, though.
She took a deep breath.
"I do... want you around" Haruka said, sounding more confident than she felt. "I don't want to keep pushing you away"
Masaki smiled excitedly, much wider this time, and she moved closer to the other girl as if to jump into her arms for a smothering hug. On instinct, Duu moved back against the wall slightly, but then she noticed Maachan looking at her insistently.
"You don't want to push me away", she said, moving in closer. She dropped to a whisper, "Then don't"
Haruka couldn't stand it anymore. Setting all her fear and frustration aside, she pulled Masaki closer and kissed her, desperately.
Maachan opened her eyes wide for a second, definetly not expecting the other girl to be so bold. But smiling, she closed her eyes and let Duu kiss her lips over and over again.
Haruka pulled back after a few seconds, panting and heart pounding so loud she thought everyone would be able to hear. Surprised at her own intensity, she looked at Maachan's face waiting for her to say something.
But the other girl just smirked, clearly amused by her friend's blushing face, and then cupped her face in her hands and kissed her back, laughing in between soft pecks at Haruka's face. The short-haired girl also started laughing out of pure disbelief and happiness. When they finally pulled away and fell into an embrace, Masaki buried her face into the gap between Duu's neck and collarbone and just stayed there, slowly stroking her hair.
"Are you crying?" said Maachan after a while when she felt Haruka press her cheek against her own. She giggled and playfully pushed away the tears that had started flowing down Duu's face.
"I can't help it", she was embarrassed but smiled. Masaki laughed harder this time, "Stop laughing! God, Maachan, stop it!"
Duu pushed her away but the other girl kept laughing, and started tickling her until she too was howling with laughter. Both falling to the floor, they lay in the dressing room side by side. Masaki teased the other girl and finally gave her a quick kiss on the nose.
"Stupid Duu", she muttered pretending to be annoyed. Haruka smiled. Turns out Maachan's unlimited affection and brutal honestly was exactly what she needed.
She had been stupid, after all.