The last time. (Story of why James turned to crime)
It was mostly a misunderstanding, though that might not be the correct word. It was more of me being over protective. I gave up everything for this brother, my time, my father, my purity. I killed for this brother, but when my brother learned, he ran away, scared, like the sheltered child he had been.
He was only 9. I remember my anger, but mostly I remember how sad, betrayed I felt when I saw his face. It was worse when he apologized. I should be the one apologizing.
Now, I'm lying here in my father's arms, my brother weeps for me in his own half-dead state. I can here him singing too. There is a light. I'm not quite ready, I have to apologize first. I have to…
I was always there for him. When he had homework problems and the English confused him? I helped him. I taught him how to articulate his words so that no one would hear an accent. I taught him he should adapt his fighting style to the one best suited for an opponent. What did I get in return? An iron face holding back tears begging for forgiveness; a brother who only laughs and smiles because it is expected of him, and he only knows pain. I did this to him. I had to try to fix it.
When I did, it was all a disaster. Red Hood was a good guise, but he found out. His heart broke in front of me. He didn't let my name slip though, even with the men kicking him. I had to stop them. I fired my gun, making sure to make him look dead, without putting him in danger.
To bad Batman came in at the wrong time. Batman knew too. I had to say it. I screamed my feelings, giving my workers a reason to trust and fear me. I shot at Batman too, just to make sure I wasn't suspicious looking. His suit didn't even dent. My brother cried that night. I felt it in my bones. Batman of course stopped my plan dead in its tracks. He tried to find me, but I had to find my brother first.
He was doing better in school, but he was so lonely. I kidnapped him from that lonely school. I told him everything. He held his tears and begged for forgiveness. I told him it was ok. I should have apologized then. Why was he? That incident from so long ago I bet. That didn't bother me.
I need to tell him I'm sorry…
He was new to the business, a little wild, but controllable. It was his second patrol. It was his first fight.
Damn Joker. He did this! I can't blame Joker for my inability to fix my mistakes thought can I? The gunshot hit my little brother. The goon was laughing as he screamed.
I heard my brother never screams anymore when he is hurt. That is my fault too.
The goon made me mad. I jumped on him and jabbed my knives into his gut. I sliced him open and let his blood pour. More goons came; I killed them all to protect him. When I had finished, he stared at me as if I was a monster.
I am.
Blood covered my arms and body. I looked to my brother. I try to explain but he just cries.
"Red, everywhere! You, your head, it's a red hood!" he cried.
Who would have thought his fear-induced remark would become my cover? I think he knew though.
Batman came up to me. He saw the carnage around me. The ride home was silent. I must have fainted on the way home. Their home. As it turns out, I had three bullets in my stomach and a huge gash on my arm. I awoke in the med-bay of eth Bat-cave. Batman didn't say anything, but I knew. I couldn't fight anymore.
So instead I ran away.
I broke my brother's heart. That is all I ever do isn't it? My poor brother, he must not love anyone because of me. Is that his face over me? His voice is so smooth. I need to tell him…
Since I've waited to long, this must be my punishment, not being able to give my final message. I'm sorry! I let the words take my last breath, but I choke on them. My little brother is the last thing I see.
No, there he is! He is back! His brown hair, olive skin! My mother and father are here too! They aren't in the burned house anymore! I see my grandfather too.
Oh, I needed to apologize to my grandmother for leaving her.
I must be dying, I still hear my little brother's voice, but it is softer with each passing second. I must make him smile one more time.
I'll give him everything I ever created; I hope everything I destroyed goes with me as I die.
The air is clear, my family is holding my hands, I am so happy; the least I can do is make my little brother smile one more time. I will show him I am safe now, I hope he will not be sad. I'm horrible; I really wish I could have told him…
I smile to let him know I'm ok. Then I say my final good-bye and join the rest of my family.
Good-bye Dick. I love you.