Chandler looked on, a little grin planted on his face, as Monica kissed her Dad's cheek at the end of their dance. When the music started in the garden courtyard of the Waltham's home, Emily had danced with her Dad and Ross with his Mom, before Monica's Dad had pulled her onto grass for the final few verses of the song.
The wedding had been enchanting. Chandler never thought he'd seen a more beautiful ceremony, though maybe his mind was clouded by fatigue.
Very, very satisfied fatigue.
Or maybe all the romance in the air was getting to him. Everyone, except Rachel, was smiling, laughing and joking with the happy couple. He'd already danced with the bride and Monica's Mom. She'd danced with her brother and, now, her father. They hadn't danced together yet and he was ready. He was more than ready to hold her in his arms again.
Nah, he decided, "romance" wasn't exactly the right word to describe what was getting to him. She'd gotten to him.
The night they'd spent together before the wedding had played back like a dirty movie in a continuous loop in his mind, even during the ceremony. He'd never felt so much passion making love to anyone, ever. And she'd returned it. Thoroughly.
He could think of nothing else.
On the way down the aisle they had hastily made plans to get together again that night. He'd felt the anticipation all the way down to his toes, but in the past hour he'd started to worry. Monica hadn't said more than two words to him since the reception started, and he began to wonder if she was having second thoughts.
And she was.
Monica stepped back into the shadows next to Rachel as her dance with her father ended.
"How are you holding up?" she asked her friend, who had been pretty quiet since the reception started.
Rachel sighed.
"I shouldn't have come," she said sadly, shaking her head. "This is just too hard."
"I'm so sorry, Rach," Monica said, putting a hand around Rachel's waist and pulling her in for a hug.
"But you know what the worst part will be?" Rachel asked, as Monica shook her head. "Seeing them together every day back at home. That'll be worse than this, when they're just living their happy life together."
Rachel waved a dismissive hand at the happy couple and Monica pursed her lips together. Finally Rachel sighed and turned to her with a frown.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, her voice catching before she continued. "I know he's my friend and he's your brother and this should be a happy thing. I know that. I just…I just wish he wasn't my ex, too, ya know?"
Monica nodded, stealing a brief glance across the yard in Chandler's general direction. She began to chew on her bottom lip.
"It just makes it that much harder," Rachel continued, oblivious to Monica's own internal strife. "It's just easier when there's a clean break and you just, you just don't see the guy anymore, ya know?"
Monica felt like her stomach fell through the floor with Rachel's last comment. Yes, yes that did make it easier - a clean break. And here she was, having had the best sex ever with her best friend the night before, her mind churning over what it was going to do to their friendship, knowing the only thing she could not do is cut Chandler out of her life.
God, what a mess, she thought. How did they let this happen? How could they let it happen again? Her body heated up rapidly at the very thought of them hooking up again that night, but should they?
"Mon?" Rachel asked when her friend didn't respond to her last comment. Monica shook herself out of her own head and focused on her friend again.
"I know, I'm sorry," she said again. "I wish I knew what to tell you."
Rachel smiled a little at her.
"Well," she said, swallowing her tears and throwing her hair back over her shoulder. "I think I'm gonna get one of those free drinks then head back to the hotel. Can I have your key?"
"Oh, oh sure," Monica said, digging it out of her small purse.
"Thanks for letting me stay in your room," Rachel said, giving her a hug. Monica couldn't help but think of how convenient it would be if Rachel wasn't staying in her hotel room, but in the long run maybe she was inadvertently saving her from certain disaster.
"Sure," Monica said, hugging her back. "Be careful."
Rachel nodded and walked away. Monica turned and looked up through the courtyard, catching Chandler staring at her. He gave her a gentle smile, which she returned with butterflies clearly holding a family reunion in the pit of her stomach.
Chandler slowly made his way over to her as the twinkling lights danced in the low laying branches gently bouncing in the trees overhead.
"So," he said softly, not at all sure where to begin as he burrowed his hands into the pockets of his pants, "enjoying yourself?"
Monica ran her palm down her arm then brought her hands together, twisting a loose ring around her finger.
"Oh, yeah, of course," she said, nodding but not making eye contact with him. "It was a beautiful ceremony, wasn't it?"
Chandler nodded, looking at the ground.
"Thanks to you," he said, peeking up at her, lopsided grin on his face. She grinned back.
"My Mom said it looked like a fairytale," she said, shrugging as she began to look anywhere but at him. "I guess that's something."
Chandler frowned, shrugged and nodded all at the same time. He was so damn nervous, but she seemed more so. He knew he could use and drink, and figured she could, too, but decided against it. Wasn't that what had brought on last night in the first place?
He sighed deeply and Monica finally looked up at him. Her heart was fluttering wildly. God, she was so scared. Scared of the ramifications from obliterating that line between friends and lovers so thoroughly the night before she had no idea what was left of who they used to be to each other and…maybe they still were?
"Mon, are you avoiding me?" he finally, softly asked as he took a step closer to her.
"I don't know," she said quietly, her suddenly watery eyes searching his. "Chandler, we've been best friends for so long…"
"I thought we weren't really that close," he interrupted, giving her his lopsided grin. She smirked softly at him.
"You know I didn't mean that," she said as a blush came to her cheeks.
"I know," he said softly, taking a warm hand out of his pocket and linking his fingers with hers. "Look, I know we had plans to meet up tonight, but if…if that's not what you want…"
"I'm afraid of what it might do to our friendship if we did," she said. He nodded, because he understood.
"I know," he said, trying not to show her how defeated his heart felt. He cleared his throat and gestured toward the couples dancing on the grass.
"We're part of the wedding party," he said, looking at Joey and Felicity now on the dance floor. "I think it's our turn."
Monica smiled as they walked a couple paces to the edge of the dancing area and Chandler pulled her into his arms.
"I'm…I'm sorry, Chandler," she whispered worriedly, closing her eyes tight. The very last thing she wanted him to think was that she'd just used him the night before. She may have gone to his room looking for sex, but what had happened between them had meant oh, so much more to her than that. So much more.
He held her hand tighter against his chest as his other hand softly pushed into the small of her back, pulling her closer. Monica parted her lips to breathe against the lapel of his tux, the scent of him so close to her beginning to make her head spin, naturally taking her back to the night before. Involuntarily her fingertips dug into his shoulder.
He nodded and swallowed heavily.
"It's OK, Mon," he whispered, and he meant it.
Chandler closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. It was OK because he loved her. Was he in love with her? That he didn't know, but Monica Geller? His beautiful best friend, his rock, the one they all leaned on, even though she was as vulnerable as the rest of them - her? Yeah, he loved her and he wasn't going to let that go - for anything.
"I understand," he whispered, giving her gentle squeeze as he nodded again. Monica kept her eyes closed, reveling in the feel of his arms around her as they moved slowly in a circle together under the leaves and the lights, the breeze bathing her already sensitive skin. She shivered, her shawl having long ago slid down to rest on her hips.
Chandler felt her tremor and wrapped the hand that was on her back around the edge of her wrap, grazing her skin with his fingers as he did his best to drape it back over her shoulders with one hand. Finally he let go of the hand at his chest and used both of his to put the wrap back into place as Monica gazed up into his face.
"Better?" he asked in a low voice as he gently pulled the wrap part-way across her chest. Monica raised her hands, put them over his and nodded. A trace of a grin graced his lips and Monica was taken aback by the overwhelming feelings that swept through her as she looked into his sweet face. Behind the sarcasm and the silliness he was so gentle, so kind, so…handsome and passionate and no woman, she thought suddenly, was ever going to be good enough for him. For her Chandler. No one.
No one else, that is.
Chandler moved his hands to settle back on her hips as they kept time with the music once again, Monica's palms resting against the front of his shoulders. Their eyes were locked as they instinctively pulled closer together. Slowly Monica moved her hands to his jaw, cupping his face. She almost didn't detect his sharp intake of breath as the very ends of her fingertips gently moved over both his ears, but she didn't miss it either.
His heart was thundering as his fingers dug deeper into the fabric of the dress on either side of her. Slowly, oh so slowly she pulled his face closer to hers. She lowered her eyelids and licked her parted lips as he did the same, their open mouths slowly circling each other, nearly close enough to touch - heavy breathing and heavy uncertainty mingling in the small space between them.
"What are we doing?" she said in a long, breathy, whisper.
"I don't know," he said , his voice low and sultry enough to make her whole body shudder and not from the crisp night air, "but I know one thing."
"What's that?" she breathed, her lips almost touching his.
"I'm going to kiss you, right now," he whispered, his husky voice dripping with passion. A split-second later his hungry lips caught hers, and she moaned into him and kissed him back. Then she gasped as his hands rose to cradle her face just as hers cradled his between her palms.
"Chandler!" she said in a forceful whisper, her eyes still closed.
"What?" he asked, his body trembling with desire for her. He could feel her already, wrapped around him, as part of him.
She let out a shaky exhale, her heart aching in ways she never knew existed.
"Don't stop," she breathed, her whole body catching fire as her hands ran through the back of his hair. "Kiss me…kiss me…"
He caught her bottom lip between his, then her lips caught his just the same before they both took deep breaths through their noses, kissing one another as deeply as they possibly could until they couldn't breathe.
They were in the dark shadows of the dance floor, but prying eyes weren't far away. The bride and groom may have been oblivious, but the bridesmaid and best man making out in the far corner didn't escape the notice of nearly everyone else, including some very interested friends and family.
Chandler could almost feel them staring at them. He reluctantly broke the kiss and looked into her eyes, each of them trying to catch their breath. They both had clear vision, though, and unlike the night before knew exactly what they were doing.
"Your room or mine?" he whispered.
"Rachel's staying in my room," she said quickly. Chandler cast a quick glance around the courtyard and spotted Joey now "talking New York" once again with Felicity.
"My room it is," he said, looking at her again, a perfect mix of lust and mirth lighting up his now dark blue eyes. He took her hand securely in his.
"Returning to the scene of the crime," she said, smirking seductively at him. He smirked back at her, silently thanking God it was dark outside or it would be obvious to everyone how turned on he was, and pulled her out of the courtyard. She threw a dazed and love-struck look of excitement to a floored Rachel as they left.
Rachel's jaw was still dropped as she caught Joey's eye, the same look on his face, then their gazes followed the new lovers out of the Waltham's backyard.
NOTE: I don't even know what this is. It's not a one-shot, but I don't think it'll be a big epic, either.
For some unknown reason I had this Mondler-story brainstorm over the weekend and this idea came to me - what if Ross had said "Emily" and Chandler and Monica had to figure out whether or not they wanted to continue on without the distractions of a disastrous wedding but instead with the enhancement of a romantic one. Oh, and pretty much everyone found out about them while they were in London. Just a thought…and at some point I'm pretty sure I'll keep this thought going :) Lemme know what you think…