Author's note: Characters as well as conversation in the infirmary was taken from the actual episode "Duet". SGA writers work, not mine. Credit where credit is due.

Screech and a moment later, Rodney McKay returned to the land of no-longer-stored-data. Rematerializing poised to avoid any and all incoming projectiles; the physicist was surprised to see a friendly face.

"Rodney, you okay?" asked John tentatively.

A break in eye contact to scan his surroundings revealed a wreck of what appeared to be a badly mistreated ship. A second later, feeling returned to his extremities. McKay's knees felt like they'd been forcibly removed from the rest of his numb body. His allegedly superior brain registered this disconcerting fact as well as a brief glimpse of the sky and then—nothing.

Light began to penetrate the unconsciousness that had claimed Rodney in the field. McKay's state of unfeeling reluctantly left his mind. Replaced by an annoying throb behind the ears, the scientist almost missed the void. Just great, can we go back to being passed out, please? Was it just him or was he developing a multiple personality? He agreed with the voice, and familiar though it was, its presence puzzled him.

Ready to test his capacity of speech, as well as sitting up, Rodney attempted coherence, "Hello…" The dull throb in his head didn't agree with his gall and asserted itself in his forehead. The new wave of pain elicited a groan of discomfort from the bed-ridden physicist.

Noticing the movement out of the corner of his eye, Dr. Carson Beckett walked quickly over to his most finicky patient, "How you feeling, Rodney?"

Now propped up on his elbows and assessing his physical condition, "Um, it was…terrible. What happened?"

"You were scooped up by a dart."

"Oh great. How'd I get out?"

"It's a long story but I'm glad to see you're doing well."

"Hello? Doctor Beckett," Called a decidedly feminine voice that McKay couldn't quite locate.

"Is that Cadman?" Perplexed, the genius looked at the bed next to his, trying to find the voice's source.

"Doctor McKay?" Rodney looked around, only noticing a sleeping Dr. Keller at the foot of his bed.

Choosing to not give a second thought the woman slumped over at his bedside, "Where is she?"

"I'm right here," Retorted the disembodied voice.

Beckett calmly informs him that, "Lt. Cadman is still trapped inside the dart."

"What?"

"Who said that?" asked Rodney, becoming more confused with every syllable spoken.

"I did."

"You said 'what'?"

"I said, 'Lt. Cadman is still trapped inside the dart.'"

"No, no, did you just say the word, 'what'?"

"No, I didn't."

"McKay?" queried the panicky voice.

"Yes, where are you?"

"I'm right here," stated the perplexed doctor.

"No, no, I'm talking to Cadman. Shut up for a second."

"She's not here, Rodney."

"Yes I am."

"You didn't just hear that, you didn't just hear Lt. Cadman?"

Baffled by the scientist's behavior and his assertions of an invisible person, "No, I didn't."

Rodney snapped his fingers, an idea struck him, the answer to the voice in his head, "headset...not wearing a headset."

"McKay, where are you?"

Now certain that the voice in his head was not just a figment of his imagination, "I'm right in front of Carson."

"Oh no. Uh, put your hands over your eyes."

Confused by the odd request, "Wha- why?"

"Just do it!" Unusual as it was for him to listen to a command, the physicist complied with Laura's demand.

Patiently, Carson explained once again the predicament the missing woman was in, "Lt. Cadman is still trapped inside the dart, and I think you're experiencing some kind of—Rodney, what are you doing?"

Rodney opened his fingers to expose his eyes so he could look at the doctor, "Oh, thi-this is terrible."

Anxious about what could be going wrong,"What's terrible?"

"I can see that. I can see your hands over your eyes as if they were my eyes."

If it was possible, Carson was even more confused than he had ever been in his life. Rodney further added to his appearance of being crazy, "Carson. Hi."

"Hello…" replied the exasperated doctor. He didn't want to start that long conversation over again.

"Who got us out of the dart?"

"Zelenka, but he only got you out. Lt. Cadman is still trapped inside the dart."

"No, no, no, no…" hanging his head in misery, Rodney cursed the day Zelenka ever set foot in Atlantis.

"This cannot…be happening."

"Cadman's not trapped in the Dart."

"Excuse me?" Carson asked, knowing full well that only Rodney had been rematerialized out of the Dart.

McKay points at his temple with a small flourish of his hand, "She's in here."

"I'm just saying you didn't have to blow up at Dr. Weir and Zelenka like that, it was hard to watch," chided Laura inside Rodney's head.

"Yes, well there was a certain someone who was driving me insane at the time!"

"Oh, so the fact that you have no social skills and drive people away with a forked tongue and a pitchfork has no resemblance to being a madman."

"That was two facts actually."

"And that! That constant need to be right and correcting everyone is what makes people not like you!"

Putting up a defense that had as many holes as Ronon's shooting target, "I hardly think that—some people like me…"

"Oh? Is that why Katie Brown canceled on you? It was about time the roles were reversed. She's put up with enough from you."

"That's uncalled for! Katie was the best thing that happened to me, besides coming to Atlantis that is," protested McKay, somewhat hurt by would could have been called another part of him. After all, she was in his head.

"Oh get over yourself, Rodney; she didn't see that you were interested she want' going to wait forever. Besides, there are other fish in this Lantean ocean."

"Wait, are you saying that someone at this 'girls' poker night' has been talking about me?"

"Over a few beers—No, no, I've said too much already," Cadman was exceptionally good at getting on Rodney's nerves.

"Well if you're going to clam up now you can stay that way for the rest of the night. I'm hungry and I don't need you buzzing in my ears while I'm eating."

Insisting on being difficult, the lieutenant droned, "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz," in McKay's head all the way to the mess hall.

"Stop eating that, it's the most disgusting food substance on this base!" once again Cadman decided to interrupt what was otherwise a perfectly peaceful meal in the now schizophrenic physicist's world.

Almost insulted, Rodney defended his favorite dessert, "How can you not like blue Jell-O?"

"It looks terrible, tastes terrible, is completely artificial, and above all is terrible for you!"

Spoon midway to his mouth, Rodney wondered, "You can taste what I'm eating? Fascinating," and continued eating the subject of their most recent argument.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. It makes sense, since I have access to your other senses. Which by the way, you haven't been sharing since you practically sprinted out of Heightmeyer's office."

"Well excuse me for wanting to control my own body. I'd like to be well into old age before I start losing physical control of my body."

"McKay your incontinence is not something I ever want to have to think about again."

"Well then stop wanting to be in control. Now doesn't that just seem to be the easiest answer?"

"If I get control of one of our fists I'm going to punch you so hard in the nose you'll never have another chance at a date in your life!"

"They're my fists, and you're bringing that up again? You sure are persistent. But it wasn't like I had much of a shot anyway; you already made that abundantly clear to me." Rodney got up, cleared his tray and stacked it with the others.

"You'd make a certain someone very sad if she heard you say that."

"Do I need to go find Doctor Keller and have her hook me up to an EEG so I can decrypt your entirely too vague words?"

Uttering a mental sigh, "No, you need the ability to shut up, listen, and understand women."

Waving his hand in front of the mess hall door sensor, "I'm a genius not a miracle worker, Cadman."

"Well, genius why don't you haul yourself to your quarters, you'll need all of your brainpower if you are going to think of a way to get us out of this."

"That's a good idea, I am tired. Just don't try any funny business while I'm tired."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

TBC