It's Friday night and as usual Callie finds herself sitting on the couch of apartment 502 waiting for her beautiful blonde girlfriend to return from the kitchen. She licks her lips softly shifting a bit in an effort to make herself as comfortable as possible. It's her apartment, but she honestly couldn't feel less settled at the moment. She glances over to the kitchen where she can see Arizona shaking her pajama covered hips a bit as she shakes the salt onto their newly popped popcorn. This immediately brings a smile to the Latina's face and eases her ever growing nerves but only just a bit.
They've been dating for a couple months now. It's almost hard to believe that she feels so comfortable with Arizona after such little time, but every moment she spends with Arizona makes her happier. She had just started getting over the initial butterflies that dating the perky pediatric surgeon had caused when she opened up her mouth and asked Arizona to spend the night. She couldn't help wanting more and more time with her and admittedly it warmed her heart when Arizona replied yes so eagerly. The realization that her offer might have come with an unspoken suggestion about what their night might entail came soon after. Now she can't help but worry about what the blonde might be expecting. It's not that she's ever been one to shy away from sex. She loves sex, at least she's always loved sex with men. It must not be all that different right? She thinks with a small sigh, running her fingertips through her long raven tassels of hair. It's not that she doesn't want to have sex with Arizona, far from that actually. God does she want to. The thoughts that have been wondering through her head ever since the blonde beauty cupped her cheek and pressed their lips together in her favorite bar's bathroom, let's just say they are anything but clean.
Over the past couple months they've of course had their fair share of kisses and cuddles, but nothing more. The thought of anything more happening makes Callie's heart beat a mile a minute. Every time things would heat up remotely between the two though, Callie would put a stop to it. She would make up some excuse and end things before they really even started.
Naturally, Arizona was always sweet and understanding about it giving Callie a sweet peck on the lips before they settled back into their cuddling and innocent kissing. As well as Arizona understands, she knows that her girlfriend has been making up excuse after excuse. She would never pressure the gorgeous Latina into anything she didn't want and she wants Callie to know that whatever her reason is she'll understand. She wants Callie to relax with her and be herself, but she can tell that as the night goes on that she is only getting more anxious.
As Arizona heads back to the couch she pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth savoring the salty taste. "Mmm. Extra salt just how you like it, Calliope." She says flashing the brunette a grin as she holds out the bowl to her, plopping down next to her on the couch. "So tell me...What's next on the agenda for tonight? We had dinner. Which was absolutely amazing might I add." Says Arizona reaching for Callie's hand to give it a gentle squeeze in an effort to ease her obvious nerves. "I think the chef deserves a prize." Her words soften as she leans towards Callie. She looks into the Latina's eyes trying to find any signs pointing to what she's really feeling as she cups a tan cheek and gently strokes it with her thumb. Finally, she leans in and presses her lips against Callie's in a soft, warm kiss reminding them both of the night they met.
Trying to push some of her nerves aside Callie returns the kiss, relaxing into her girlfriend's gentle touch. Arizona is by far gentler than any man she's ever been with and it makes her that much more aware that it is a woman she's kissing. Callie gently slows the kiss to a stop pulling away from Arizona just enough to look into her blue eyes. "I-I'm sorry." Callie whispers softly.
For the millionth time since they started dating Arizona utters the same few words, "It's okay, Calliope." and she means it. She understands that there's something holding Callie back from giving herself to Arizona fully and she won't push, but she just wishes she could find out because surely she could help. She wants to help.
It's not that Callie doesn't want Arizona because she does… from the moment Arizona kissed her all she's wanted is more. More of those beautiful pink lips, more of her soft creamy white skin, just more of everything. She licks her lips softly still close enough to look over every inch of Arizona's concerned face. Arizona is a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman who's been sure of her sexuality since she was sixteen. Callie is the rookie in this situation and she isn't used to being a rookie when it comes to sex, at least not anymore. She has zero experience and for the first time in a while she feels truly intimidated by someone she's dating when it comes to sex.
She swallows softly gaining the courage to move her gaze up to Arizona's eyes. She searches them for hate, anger, frustration but all she can find there is understanding. The blonde gives her a soft reassuring smile reaching forward to fix one of the brunette's stray locks. "Callie, I told you there's no pressure. I know that I'm your first girlfriend and you're probably all nervous. I mean God knows I was. I had no idea what I was doing my first time. So the nervous thing, I totally get the whole nervous thing trust me. There's really no rush. I'm not worried at all but if I'm going too fast, maybe I'm going to fast because if I am I want to know becau-," Callie cuts Arizona off pressing her finger to the blonde's lips in an effort to cut her nervous rambling short. It's actually amusing. So much of the time Callie's on the other end of nervous rants that seeing Arizona in a similar circumstances she can't help but smile.
"I can't tell who's more nervous here." The Latina replies with a small chuckle as she reaches down to lock her girlfriend's fingers with her own, giving a small squeeze. She takes a moment of silence, looking down at creamy white fingers laced with her own caramel ones. Arizona's hand feels good in hers, it just feels right. "Sex is supposed to be the easy part, isn't it?" she asks with another soft chuckle. "I mean the relationship part, the drama, the fighting, the commitment, those are the hard parts. Sex? Sex is fun, sex is just..." she lets out a soft frustrated sigh. "I'm Callie Torres. I'm a badass surgeon. Surgery, now that's scary. Saving lives, that's scary. Sex…sex shouldn't scare me." She utters softly her voice a bit defeated.
As Callie speaks Arizona looks on, taking every word in. It breaks her heart to see the usually so confident Latina in this state, so anxious. Normally, the blonde found Callie's nervous rambles endearing but this was anything but the case. She knows she's the cause of these nerves even if it is indirectly and she'd do anything in her power if she could take them away.
"Hey...hey." Arizona whispers softly reaching under Callie's chin to tilt her head up so she could look into her warm brown eyes. "Calliope, there's nothing wrong with you. You're a badass ortho surgeon, but, that doesn't stop you from getting nervous. You're nervous but that's because you're not ready. Do you remember your first time? You were probably tense and rushing. That's not what I want for our first time." She says giving Callie's hand another gentle squeeze before she continues. "All firsts can be scary, but they can be awesome at the same time. Remember your first day of med school or your first solo surgery? This is another first. Maybe you're not a virgin anymore but it's still something new and with somebody new. Maybe you feel like you should know what you're doing, but you're not. And I am here and I want to help. We have all the time in the world, Calliope. There's no rush." She finishes flashing Callie one of her best and brightest smiles. She can't help but think that maybe if she plays her cards right she might just be Callie's last first time.
Arizona glances into Callie's eyes in an attempt to decipher what she's thinking barely able to believe she's having that thought. She's never been one to get this attached early on in relationships, or one for relationships at all. Learning how to keep relationships going was something she never truly learned as a military kid. Moving ever few months never really allowed her to build a real relationship but with Callie everything feels different. It feels right. It feels easy. She's feels ready.
Callie listens, hanging on every one of her girlfriend's sweet words. She could never have wished for someone to be as understanding as Arizona has been with her. Usually with the men she's dated in the past the sex has come first and the emotions and bonding come after, if at all. Maybe it's backwards, but it's what she's used to. Knowing that Arizona isn't expecting anything out of her tonight brings a giant weight off of her shoulders and a tear to her eye. "So...if we don't…tonight? You won't be disappointed?" Callie asks, her voice still full of concern. She's loved the time she's had with Arizona and she doesn't want to let her down.
"What? Of course not. Like I said we have all the time in the world. I'd still love to stay though, if the offer still stands. Maybe we could just cuddle tonight?" Arizona offers, chewing at her bottom lip.
The only response she gets at first is a small nod. "You're pretty amazing you know." Callie says finally responds, smiling genuinely for the first time tonight.
The blonde returns the smile as she stands up "I know, but I prefer awesome." She counters playfully, offering Callie her hand. "Let's go to bed. It's been a long night."
Callie happily accepts her hand letting her girlfriend lead her way to her own bedroom. When they arrive Arizona shuts the door behind them. Although they're alone in the apartment it's as if it's shutting out the world, leaving them alone together.
"Left or right" Arizona asks happily, making her way over to the bed they will soon share.
"Right." Callie replies pointing to her side of the bed. Arizona nods, pulling back the duvet and hopping onto the bed. She pats the right side to signal Callie to join her.
"Common, Ms. Badass." She teases, laying her head against the headboard. Callie smirks as she joins Arizona. slipping under the multicolored covers. "Now, big spoon or little spoon?" Arizona asks with the excitement of one of her pint sized patients.
Callie can't help but chuckle at the blonde's excitement. "Little spoon." Callie finally answers, turning towards the window as she awaits the blondes arm to wrap around her.
She lets out a relaxed sigh as she finally feels Arizona's soft arm wrap around her, her fingertips gently grazing Callie's scarcely covered stomach and her front pushing tenderly against her back. Letting her eyes finally flutter closed she takes a second to savor the moment before whispering Arizona's name softly.
"Mm?" comes the blonde's hummed reply
"I…I'm not sure when I'll be ready..." she whispers softly not opening her eyes.
She waits a moment for her girlfriend's response but all she feels is her shifting a bit, then Arizona's soft lips pressed against her temple. It's only a moment after hears the blonde's quiet whisper "I think you'll know."