One Last Time
By Kay
Disclaimer: Don't own Matt, Izzy, Tai, ect. No Digimon. ::sighs:: The world is a cruel place... ;) Thanks!
Notes: Erm. Taishiro and Taitio. ^_^ Sad... definatly sad...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ever since that night, in that soft lighted room with my love, I have hated hospitals.
The white, smooth walls were as bare as the tile floor that seemed to glow softly with the lamplight. The whole room was lit low, as if in mourning for the figure laying as if dead already on the bland, cold bed. Moniters blinked with sharp lights, the only color in the room besides my own, and the steady beat of the heart moniter harshly mixing with the gentle breathing of my best friend. My world. The boy I loved.
Taichi Kamiya looked almost dead.
It twisted my heart to see the sight- his thin body, all to thin, laying against the white comforter, his breathing soft but feathery with his illness. The doctors told me he was almost gone. Soon there would be nothing left to him but an empty shell.
It was a concept I refused to believe. I didn't see the pale features, the thin arms, the way it hurt him to move even and how he whispered when he spoke. I didn't see the dark cicles under his eyes, or the way he never had the energy to work up a rant anymore about how horrible the hospital food was. To me, Taichi Kamiya was still alive. He showed it every time he smiled, with the same bright courage he had his entire life. He showed me he was living still with his eyes, the brown warmth and sparkle that still glowed. He had his spirit, and that's all I could see, because it's all I loved since I've met him.
I would never have thought it plausible to love so blindly before.
"Izzy... Izzy..." Tai's soft voice pleaded, his hand reaching out to me weakly. I hurried to his bedside, clutching his hand as if it were a lifeline and gazing down into his eyes deeply.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah... just wanted to talk..." He smiled weakly, and I felt my heart break.
"I'm here whenever you need to talk..."
"Yeah... I know..." He trailed off quietly, his eyes straying away from my intense, desperate gaze and over to the window. The night sky was a brilliant dark blue, the shards of light stars glowing in the abyss. "That's what... I wanted to talk to you about..."
"What?" I sat up straighter, confused. "Is my presence disturbing you?"
"No! No, Izzy..." Tai's voice softened again. "Never... I don't think I would stand... being alone... now..."
I close my eyes, fighting the tears that have been threatening to fall for weeks. "I won't leave you."
"I know... but.. why?" I open my eyes at his determined tone, and look at him. He's looking back at me now, his eyes fixed on mine, not letting go. He wants to know. I can tell without asking.
"Why not?" I said, forcing my voice to sound reasonably logical. "You're my friend. I-I... I care about you."
"Yeah... yeah... okay then..."
I can tell he's thinking about him now. Thinking... remembering his face, his voice, the way he talked and moved...
I keep silent. I've spent years with Tai. Well into high school, even now, when he's about an adult, I am still with him. I would stay by his side for an eternity if he asked me too.
Unfortunatly... that's never been something he's asked. That was a question destined to be asked to someone completely different than me. It's no secret to me- I could always tell what Tai was thinking. I was blessed with that gift, to know instinctivly when he needed help and when he was upset. To know when he was feeling like he was on top of the world, or disturbingly low.
Every blessing brings a curse.
I could see him clearer than anything, but that didn't mean what I saw wouldn't hurt me. He didn't love me. I knew that. I knew it from the very beginning, because he was in love already with someone I couldn't compare with.
I couldn't fight with an angel.
"Izzy... do you think I'll see him again?"
I keep my eyes close, but mutely nod. I know who he's talking about.
Tai went on, oblivious to my pain. "I keep seeing him... sometimes... I miss... miss him all the time... never thought I'd... see him so soon..."
Feeling my heart contradict in sudden anguish, I push back the shatter pieces of my heart. They've been broken for a long time, but I have never blamed Taichi. I love him. I will listen to every word, comfort every tear, even if it kills me.
Love is always being there even when it hurts you.
"You'll be okay, Tai. The doctors say you'll be fine after the surgery..."
"You're smart, Izzy... you know it's not true..." he said quietly. Suddenly grimacing with pain, and tensing. Recognizign what was about to happen, I shot up and put a solid comforting hand on his back as his body heaved and convulsed in pain. He clenched his teeth, clutching gaps of the white sheets, and held tightly to me.
Bittersweet pain and concern shot through me. Concern for his obvious hurting. Bittersweet pain for the fact that tore me up inside- that this was the only embrace I would ever be able to give him.
It was over before I could do anything else but hold him, as he collapsed against me, freed from internal torture. His breathing slowly came back down to normal, his heart rate slowing. Out of danger. Out of pain.
"Are you okay?" I ask, trying to calm my heart down. It panicked, and now I was the one out of breath, scared and frightened. I didn't like to see him like this, but it was my place here with him. I belonged by his side. Just as he did not.
"Yeah... just surprised..." He slowly eased back onto the bed, closing his eyes in exhaustion. It was these fits that wore him out. I recalled the doctors saying it was natural, but a bad sign. They thought they could help him. That's what I held onto, was their cold, pure logic: We will help him. Don't worry. We will help him.
But Tai never thought they could. He didn't give up.. he just... accepted and grinned at it.
Courage never gave up.
Just as Knowledge knew to much for his own good.
"Izzy, do you think... Matt can see us?"
Again, his name. It twisted my heart, made it jerk and tremble in pain every time it was mentioned, but I couldn't hate it. Not when Tai loved it so much.
"Perhaps..."
"Ya think so?" Silence fell between us again. Tai staring at the window like he could jump out of it and fly, which made me smile because I knew he probably thought he could, and I still holding his hand. Hurting even while I loved. Hating what it did to me, even while never letting go.
"I love him." The words I hoped he'd never tell me. If he had said "you" at the end... if only that had happened... I would have been more happy than I was when I arrived at the Digital World. It was feasible- it could have happened. Maybe it would have, if it wasn't for the blond haired rebel.
"What?" Brilliant comment by me.
"I love him." Tai slowly turned his face to me, his eyes searching mine. "Matt Ishida. I love him..."
Breathless silence. Finally, I answered, not trusting myself to say more than a few words. "I know."
"How?"
I consider slowly, my mind tearing up, my heart tearing up, but still the cold stone of logic and reason as before. "You always talk about him. You were always with him... and when he... was gone... You couldn't take it. It was not difficult to figure out."
"You were always... smart... Izzy," Tai joked, his voice cracking. "To smart."
"Yes, it's a bad habit I'm afraid I've been unable to get rid of." For a second, we smiled at each other, comfortable just being here together.
Then Tai closed his eyes, and squeezed my hand as he spoke again. "You're right... as usual, buddy..." He took a deep breath. I could hear the heart moniter going steadily, and it gave me some comfort. "I couldn't help it... you know? I couldn't... stop falling in love... with him..."
Oh, yes, Tai. I know the feeling.
"He was so... perfect. He hated to let people know... his good side... how much he really.. cared about TK.. and stuff..." Tai coughed violently. "And those eyes... they were so... telling, you know? I could always... see what he was thinking... when he was... hurt..." He stopped, taking deep, painful breaths. It was so hard for him to go on, but I knew he wanted to get it all out.
And as painful as it was for me, I would listen. This much I could do for him.
"An angel..." Tai said dreamily, his passionate eyes filled with longing for something long gone. "When I heard... about the- the accident..."
I tensed inwardly, reminded of that horrible night when Matt Ishida had been unable to get control of the car. It had slid on the ice... and the police had said there was no way he would have survived. Tai took the news somewhat badly.
"I couldn't believe it... I never... got the chance to... tell him," Tai said softly, tears brimming in his eyes. "I was devestated... but now... I'll have the chance, finally..." He smiled. "I'll be seein' him soon..."
I took a shuddering breath, trying to force the tears back in my eyes again. I didn't want to cry in front of Tai, not now, not when he needed to believe in life the most. "You will not die."
"Yeah, I will."
I bit my lip, unable to hold back a choked sob, and knew my eyes were shimmering with unfocused tears. "Y-you can't..."
Tai laughed, a sound that made like music to my ears. He hadn't laughed for so long, not since they told him he was sick. "Everyone dies, Izzy... even me..."
Silence again. From Tai, it was acceptable, comfortable, as if he knew this moment would come and he was going to take his time and make the most of it. From me, it was a devestated, confused mass of twisted feelings and a single cry to tell him, finally, that I loved him.
That was the problem, though. I could never tell him I loved him. He loved Matt Ishida, never me. And I could never place that burden of my love on his shoulders- because that's what it was, a burden. He had to be free to love the memory of Matt for as long as he wanted, and now that he would soon be gone, free to love him in whatever afterlife was.
All throughout the Digital World, I stayed by Taichi's side. I was always there to concoct a plan or give him thoughtful advice. Whenever he needed something analized, I was there to comply. Whenever he needed protection, I tried so hard to give it, and when he gave me an order, I obeyed. When Sora was kidnapped by Datamon, and we went into the pryamid to get her, Kabuterimon and I tried to protect him when Etemon followed us. I told him to go get Sora, but the real reason was that I wanted to protect him for once instead of the other way around. I couldn't let Etemon get him.
When Kari was sick,I followed him, listened to him, tried to help him even though in the end he thought I hindered him down in the sewers. I'm so sorry, Tai, that I made you upset. I was just worried about you... you were so tired... all I cared about was you. When you punched me, it felt like a thousand little knives had just delved into my chest, and all I could do was hold back tears.
All through the Digiworld, I was his partner, his balance. It was never me he wanted, but I never stopped trying. I knew how much he wanted Matt, how he had fallen in love with him.
But I never once faulted you, did I? I never once gave up on you.
I will always stay faithfully by your side, even now.
It is my last job. My last duty.
My last act of love.
Finally, Tai speaks, breaking my chaotic thoughts.
"Thanks for... being here... Izzy."
I nod silently, and hold his hand in mine for the last time. Because I know he was about to die, soon.
For once, I wish I had the strong faith he did.
"I could not be anywhere else," I say simply. There is nothing more to say.
"Yeah... do me a favor?"
"What do you want?"
Tai looks at me, and all I want is for him to say, "I love you, Izzy, not Matt, I just thought I did."
But I know those words are impossible, like rain falling upside down or people walking on spider webs.
"When I go... don't... just..." he struggles with the words. "Don't... forget me... but don't keep holding on... okay?"
There's a horrible ache in my chest at that, because I know I can't forget him, but I'll never be able to let go of him either. "I... I don't know if I can promise that."
"Try. For me."
"Okay," I say listlessly, not sure if I can keep it, but willing to try at least. At least I can do this for him. Try.
That's all I've ever done.
Now, my sweet Taichi is fading, and for the first time I let myself see it. I can't hold on to him, because he going away.
Matt, I hope you take good care of him.
For me.
"Tai..." I whisper, tears starting to fall against my will.
"Mm-hmm?"
"I..." I pause, fighting the ache that begs for me to tell him finally. "I'm sorry," I say instead, starting to cry harder. He gently shakes his head and motions for me to come closer. I comply, lowering my face til it's next to his, listening.
"Not... your fault... ever."
I close my eyes, and start to sob, unable to stop the shuddering tears that've come over me now. I've held them back to long, and like a dam, it's all coming out now. "I-I know... I just... felt it necessary..." I sniff, undignified, but unable to stop. "I-I wish I could have... stopped this..."
"You aren't God, Izzy... no one... is."
I take a sobbing breath, realizing at once that I am crying wildly. "I-I..." He strokes my hair gently, letting me cry. He must have known I've been needing this for a long, long time.
"It's... okay... I'll be okay..." he whispers, sure of himself like always. Some things never change.
It's my turn to nod, convinced, but still trembling in tears. He's tired now, so very tired, I think my little episode wore him out. His eyes are fluttering shut and opening again.
"Tired..."
I grip his hand tighter, feeling shaken and scared to the core of my being. "Don't go to sleep..." I whisper desperatly. Because if he closes those eyes, I may never see them again.
I don't want him to die.
"I'm so... tired... just need to... rest my eyes..." Tai mutters, slowly closing them.
"...Izzy...?"
"Yes?"
"Thanks... for being here... with me..."
"... one last..."
"...time..."
Taichi Kamiya closed his beautiful, so alive eyes. And once again, I was correct.
That was the last time I ever saw them open.
Ever since that night, in that soft lighted room with my love, I have hated hospitals.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi Kamiya
~1983-2001~
Beloved Son and Brother
I shivered and tightened my winter coat around me. The snow was falling heavily tonight, creating a white glittering canopy over the cemetary. All the stones were frosted over, cold as ice, and the chill was already starting to incapacitate me.
The flowers I had already placed upon Tai's grave were starting to frost over, and I had no doubt they wouldn't last long. I ran a gloved hand over the smooth stone, standing alone in the middle of the dark cemetary. Of course, I'd be incorrect to call it dark- the stars and moon cast more than enough light tonight, standing out from the dark black velvet sky.
Three months. Three months since the last time I saw him alive, that night in the hospital. Since then, he's passed away, and the funeral quickly done with. I saw Kari there, and Mimi and Sora came too. Joe tried to make it, but he was so busy with his studies, he couldn't stay for long.
Once we were the Digidestined, the impossible team of eight that saved the Digiworld. Now, we were the broken Digidestined, the mourning team of six, two short than when we had started.
It was hard, those first few weeks, without Tai. I cried. I cried longer than should have been humanly possible. Food was hard to digest, sleep almost impossible to obtain. Harder still to talk and move. My entire existance plummeting down into a well of pain.
I'd say things became better, but I'd be lying. It was easier to live, now, and I had graduated just a while ago. I used to believe that would be an important event, but I barely noticed when it happened. And although the amount of college acceptances were piling up on my bedroom desk, I had no wish to go to college until I was ready. I found it hard enough to leave my bedroom and computer, much less the entire city.
I ate. I slept. I moved in a daze, automattically, almost like a machine. Get up, eat breakfast, go back to my room and work on puzzles and computer viruses that needed deleting. Go to the cemetary every day, and remember things that only made my pain worse. Vicious cycles have nothing on me.
I run my hand over the tombstone again, always unbelieving that Tai was really under there. It just seemed... wrong. He was so alive. How could he be buried under so much earth, in the dark?
Closing my eyes, I shiver again, and step away, tears blocking my eyesight. I didn't even notice the crunching of the snow behind me, as boots tread over the frost.
"Izzy?"
Turning in surprise, I clutch my coat to me and stare. And stare. Forced shocked, frozen words through my lips in surprise and confusion and fear.
"M-matt?"
The teenage boy looked surprised, his crystal blue eyes widening in his flushed face. The trademark blond hair was untouched by the wind, his lanky body umovable. "What?" The familiar blue eyes narrowed in thoughtful shock. "I- oh... you think..."
I stare at him, blushing somewhat. I can imagine what a spectacle I must be to him. Thin, pale older teen in the cemetary on a cold night, with only a flimsy demin coat and gloves. A boy with wide black eyes, filled with pain and confusion now, and a messy shock of red hair.
"I- who?" I murmer.
"It's.... it's not Matt, Izzy. It's Takeru," the boy stammers, blushing. "I-I didn't mean to..."
"Takeru...?" I whisper, confused for a second, before eyes widening. "TK?"
TK grinned, painfully reminding me of his older brother. "Yup! That's me. You look... wow. Different." His smile faded, replaced by concern. "You've taken his death hard, haven't you..." Statement, not question.
"I... it's great to see you!" I exclaim, genuinely meaning it. I hadn't seen him for years, not since Matt's funeral. "And... yes... I-I did take it rather hard..." Silently thinking, 'you have no idea just how hard.'
"I was sorry I couldn't make it for the funeral," TK says softly, grief melting into his expression. He walked up, standing beside me and placing a hand on the tombstone in the same fashion I had. "I came here a week later to make up for it, but I'm sorry I missed you guys..."
"We understood," I say quietly, remember the single phone call from him that day. Hearing the pain in his voice. It was to much for him to go to another funeral, of the boy who was so close to his gone brother.
So here we stand, silent. It's strange- it's been so long since I've been with any of the Digidestined, and always then it was uncomfortable and hard to stay. TK made it easier- I could relax in his presence, something I hadn't been able to do for a long time.
The snow is starting to fall again, lightly brushing against my face. It must have looked odd, settling in my red hair. TK looked almost natural there, the snowflakes that drifted down on him making him look almost like a real angel, the cool, but so warm, blue gaze blending perfectly. I couldn't help but catch my breath for an instant at the sight.
I had never seen someone look so beautiful in the moonlight.
Blinking, I jerk in surprise as the thought sinks in. What was I thinking?! TK, Matt's little brother, beautiful? He was... well, no, he wasn't a baby. Not anymore. And not so much before either, considering I was only two years older than him.
As if sensing the need to have someone interrupt my thoughts, TK finally speaks. "After Matt died... I thought that would be the last grave I ever had to visit..." He closes his eyes, but I still glimpse the silver tears welling up in them. "I guess I was wrong."
I nod, feeling the same pain weighing on my chest. It's hard to speak against the lump in my throat, and the ache that's growing stronger in my heart. "It hurts the first time, and you believe nothing can hurt worse..."
"But then it does," TK finished. "and you find yourself wondering if it will ever just stop."
I nod in agreement, bowing my head slightly to hide some of the tears that have slid down my face in shame, wondering if there's someway I can wipe them away without him noticing.
"I've never seen you cry."
To late. Ah, the bittersweet irony of life kicks me again.
I answer almost as if asleep, slowly and carefully. "It's not something I prefer people to see."
"Why?" TK asks, his blue eyes locking onto mine. For a moment, I'm reminded even more of his brother, although TK's eyes are lighter, more filled with warmth and trust than the rebellious aloof look Matt always strove for.
I take my time answering. "Because... I don't like the world to see my pain so easily. It's easier... hiding... not letting anyone know..." I close my eyes against the ommission, wondering what prompted me to tell TK such an intimate, personal detail of my world.
Strangely, I didn't find it so hard to say.
TK smiled wistfully. "I used to think, back in the Digiworld, that you were always distant. I used to wonder why you never wanted to do anything with the group, and why you were always on your computer instead of talking to the other guys." His smile widened into a grin for a second, and I saw the bright, hopeful TK I was used to seeing. It was a welcomed sight from the sadness. "I... I remember the day I came up to you and asked if you wanted to play tag."
My eyes widen, and I laugh in spite of myself. "I remember that- I wasn't sure how to tell you I hated tag, and I was a little... old for it."
"Not so old in age," TK corrected. "Just in maturity! And I had no idea you didn't want to play. I just wanted to cheer you up because you looked so down!"
Both of us grinned, despite of the place and circumstances, lost in the happy, oddly clear memory from way back.
"Those were good times," TK said, slowly returning to solmoness. It wasn't a look suited for him, and I illogically felt a need to make him smile again. It was so hard to be sad when TK was around. It had always been so, and obviously the talent had grown over the years.
"Yeah," I agreed. "They were. Even if half the time all I could hear was Joe complaining about the evil of allergies and his ideas of hiding in small dark caves." TK laughed.
"He was really great, wasn't he? I miss him... what's he doing now a days?"
I pause, recalling with some clouding what had escaped my memory. It felt incredibally freeing to focus on something and actually think it over, no matter how trivial a thing that was. It had been a while since I'd thought of anything more challenging than eat, sleep, cemetary.
"He's studying to become a marine biologist." I smile, happy to remember that from last week when he called me. "He's decided being a doctor isn't what he wants... just what his dad wants. Fortunatly, his father agrees that it is a highly impressive field and thinks it would do him some positive good."
"What about Mimi? I've been in touch with Kari and Sora, but I haven't heard from her for a long time!"
"She's planning her own fashion outlet, if I recall correctly."
"Poor customers."
"Exactly." I laugh. I haven't laughed so long in ages.
Silence falls again, hospital for once than the other harsh silences I've been through. Just TK and I, and the bitter chill of the wind biting our coats and the frost settling in our hair. Surrounded by death and a Winter Wonderland.
Finally, TK speaks again, softly and gently. "It's getting pretty cold... do you like hot chocolate?"
I blink, startled. "I... yes."
"With the little white marshmellows?" teases TK. I blush.
"Yes- and there's nothing wrong with it!" I declare, remembering the arguement he and Matt had gotten in over the cocoa after the Digital World. Funny memory- TK kept stealing Matt's marshmellows with a spoon when he wasn't looking. Of course, which led to an all out war...
"Are you sure? I mean, I think you might be getting a horrible disease from those things..." His grin widens, and he pretends to look frightened. "You could get the dreaded... Marshmellow Cocoa Virus!!!"
I make an indignant, but obviously exaggeratted sound, and grin. "Hmph, and what would this horrible disease do to me?"
TK looked solomn. "The victim slowly turns... purple." I snort, and start to laugh hard, as he continues. "And they get little white dots, and you think you see Patamons in cupid clothes..." By now, I'm in tears laughing. "And they shoot little apple darts at you while singing 'The Muffin Man' song..."
"Oh no!" I gasp, laughing and grasping my sides. "How perfectly horrible!"
"Oh yes, and it's very contageous."
"I guess I'll have to try not to catch it." I grin.
"Then again... they ARE marshmellows..." TK says, his eyes twinkling. "You can't have hot chocolate without them..."
"But at such a risk?" I ask in mock horror.
"I don't know... think you can handle it, Izzy?"
"I'll do my best," I say wryly.
"Then c'mon," he says, holding out a hand. His brilliant blue eyes meet mine again. Suddenly the laughing mood seems to be a little less warped. The warmth of friendship is still there, but there's a more serious side to his words.
He takes my hand, and for some reason I want to cry. "But..." I glance back at Tai's headstone, alone in the night.
"C'mon, Izzy," he insists gently. "We'll go to my house and get some hot cocoa."
"Thanks, but perhaps I'll wait on that offer..." I murmer, suddenly regretting my rash outbursts to him.
"No, you're coming with me," TK orders, something of a growl coming into his voice. I look at his face, and gape at the similar annoyance and anger on his face. An image of his brother, with no doubt. I could see the concern in his eyes, and it made me tremble.
"Why?"
TK sighs, and closes his eyes.
"You've been in the cold long enough."
The words strike me harder than I would have thought, and I close my eyes too.
"You can't grieve for him forever, Izzy. I know. I was so mad when Matt died- so scared and sad and alone. I thought the world was falling around me, and I couldn't hold it up. Didn't even want to try. I blame myself, still, even though I couldn't have known...." he stops, choking, but goes on. "I know you loved Tai. I know it hurt you to know he loved Matt, and you couldn't do anything even when he was dying. But... Life goes on. The heart goes on. You can't hide from the world, going through routine every day, never thinking or feeling for real. You gotta wake up. And you can start..." Gently, he places a bare hand on my face and I open my eyes to see him right up in my face, those oceanic eyes looking so much older than the young boy they belonged too.
"How?" I whisper. "How can I start?"
"By coming with me," TK says quietly. He removes his hand, and turns and walks away, leaving me standing in the snow, stunned and feeling like a million emotions just ran me over.
He stops a few feet away, his back to me. Turns and smiles.
"Well, are you coming?"
Slowly, I nod.
Without a word, without a thought, without a backward glance toward the empty silent tombstone that had been my only solace through these days, I walked toward TK and by his side as we started out of the cemetary. The snow falling around us.
'You've been in the cold to long.'
Oh, yes, Takeru, I've been in the cold. For much to long. But something tells me that's about to change. Suddenly, my dark, cold world was starting to light up and slowly fix me piece by piece.
With hope.
Something told me I wouldn't have to be alone again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi Kamiya closed his eyes and grinned. "I sure didn't see *that* one coming."
A pair of universally warm and familiar arms wrapped around him from behind, as a whisper by his ear made him smile in content. The angel brushed his face with his feathered wings. "What? TK and Izzy? I saw it a long long time ago."
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I did!" The angel laughed, and Tai leaned into his embrace in bliss.
"Are they going to be okay, then?"
Matt Ishida nodded, wrapping his wings around Tai and smiling. "Yes, Tai, they're going to be okay. More than okay."
"Good..."
"I love you, Taichi."
"I love you too, Matt."
"You know..." Tai trailed off, grinning mischievously.
"What?" Matt raised an eyebrow.
Tai looked up at him, glowing with love. "This eternity stuff isn't so bad."
"After all, I'm with you."
Two blissful hearts in heaven and two on earth make love worth waiting for, don't you think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END: ::grins:: What can I say? I actually liked writing that! Although it made me cry forever... Review if you want to- if you don't... ::cackles:: I WILL COME AFTER YOUUUU!! And haunt you with the Marshmellow Cocoa Virus! (My own creation, naturally. ^_^) WHo else could come up with such an insane illness?
Daisuke: Konnichiwa Kaaaaaay!
..... nevermind.
Daisuke: Guess what?!
What?
Dai-kun: I'm your new.... ::drumroll:: MUSE!!!!
::a scream echoes throughout Fanfiction Net::
Daisuke: .... was it something I said?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By Kay
Disclaimer: Don't own Matt, Izzy, Tai, ect. No Digimon. ::sighs:: The world is a cruel place... ;) Thanks!
Notes: Erm. Taishiro and Taitio. ^_^ Sad... definatly sad...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ever since that night, in that soft lighted room with my love, I have hated hospitals.
The white, smooth walls were as bare as the tile floor that seemed to glow softly with the lamplight. The whole room was lit low, as if in mourning for the figure laying as if dead already on the bland, cold bed. Moniters blinked with sharp lights, the only color in the room besides my own, and the steady beat of the heart moniter harshly mixing with the gentle breathing of my best friend. My world. The boy I loved.
Taichi Kamiya looked almost dead.
It twisted my heart to see the sight- his thin body, all to thin, laying against the white comforter, his breathing soft but feathery with his illness. The doctors told me he was almost gone. Soon there would be nothing left to him but an empty shell.
It was a concept I refused to believe. I didn't see the pale features, the thin arms, the way it hurt him to move even and how he whispered when he spoke. I didn't see the dark cicles under his eyes, or the way he never had the energy to work up a rant anymore about how horrible the hospital food was. To me, Taichi Kamiya was still alive. He showed it every time he smiled, with the same bright courage he had his entire life. He showed me he was living still with his eyes, the brown warmth and sparkle that still glowed. He had his spirit, and that's all I could see, because it's all I loved since I've met him.
I would never have thought it plausible to love so blindly before.
"Izzy... Izzy..." Tai's soft voice pleaded, his hand reaching out to me weakly. I hurried to his bedside, clutching his hand as if it were a lifeline and gazing down into his eyes deeply.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah... just wanted to talk..." He smiled weakly, and I felt my heart break.
"I'm here whenever you need to talk..."
"Yeah... I know..." He trailed off quietly, his eyes straying away from my intense, desperate gaze and over to the window. The night sky was a brilliant dark blue, the shards of light stars glowing in the abyss. "That's what... I wanted to talk to you about..."
"What?" I sat up straighter, confused. "Is my presence disturbing you?"
"No! No, Izzy..." Tai's voice softened again. "Never... I don't think I would stand... being alone... now..."
I close my eyes, fighting the tears that have been threatening to fall for weeks. "I won't leave you."
"I know... but.. why?" I open my eyes at his determined tone, and look at him. He's looking back at me now, his eyes fixed on mine, not letting go. He wants to know. I can tell without asking.
"Why not?" I said, forcing my voice to sound reasonably logical. "You're my friend. I-I... I care about you."
"Yeah... yeah... okay then..."
I can tell he's thinking about him now. Thinking... remembering his face, his voice, the way he talked and moved...
I keep silent. I've spent years with Tai. Well into high school, even now, when he's about an adult, I am still with him. I would stay by his side for an eternity if he asked me too.
Unfortunatly... that's never been something he's asked. That was a question destined to be asked to someone completely different than me. It's no secret to me- I could always tell what Tai was thinking. I was blessed with that gift, to know instinctivly when he needed help and when he was upset. To know when he was feeling like he was on top of the world, or disturbingly low.
Every blessing brings a curse.
I could see him clearer than anything, but that didn't mean what I saw wouldn't hurt me. He didn't love me. I knew that. I knew it from the very beginning, because he was in love already with someone I couldn't compare with.
I couldn't fight with an angel.
"Izzy... do you think I'll see him again?"
I keep my eyes close, but mutely nod. I know who he's talking about.
Tai went on, oblivious to my pain. "I keep seeing him... sometimes... I miss... miss him all the time... never thought I'd... see him so soon..."
Feeling my heart contradict in sudden anguish, I push back the shatter pieces of my heart. They've been broken for a long time, but I have never blamed Taichi. I love him. I will listen to every word, comfort every tear, even if it kills me.
Love is always being there even when it hurts you.
"You'll be okay, Tai. The doctors say you'll be fine after the surgery..."
"You're smart, Izzy... you know it's not true..." he said quietly. Suddenly grimacing with pain, and tensing. Recognizign what was about to happen, I shot up and put a solid comforting hand on his back as his body heaved and convulsed in pain. He clenched his teeth, clutching gaps of the white sheets, and held tightly to me.
Bittersweet pain and concern shot through me. Concern for his obvious hurting. Bittersweet pain for the fact that tore me up inside- that this was the only embrace I would ever be able to give him.
It was over before I could do anything else but hold him, as he collapsed against me, freed from internal torture. His breathing slowly came back down to normal, his heart rate slowing. Out of danger. Out of pain.
"Are you okay?" I ask, trying to calm my heart down. It panicked, and now I was the one out of breath, scared and frightened. I didn't like to see him like this, but it was my place here with him. I belonged by his side. Just as he did not.
"Yeah... just surprised..." He slowly eased back onto the bed, closing his eyes in exhaustion. It was these fits that wore him out. I recalled the doctors saying it was natural, but a bad sign. They thought they could help him. That's what I held onto, was their cold, pure logic: We will help him. Don't worry. We will help him.
But Tai never thought they could. He didn't give up.. he just... accepted and grinned at it.
Courage never gave up.
Just as Knowledge knew to much for his own good.
"Izzy, do you think... Matt can see us?"
Again, his name. It twisted my heart, made it jerk and tremble in pain every time it was mentioned, but I couldn't hate it. Not when Tai loved it so much.
"Perhaps..."
"Ya think so?" Silence fell between us again. Tai staring at the window like he could jump out of it and fly, which made me smile because I knew he probably thought he could, and I still holding his hand. Hurting even while I loved. Hating what it did to me, even while never letting go.
"I love him." The words I hoped he'd never tell me. If he had said "you" at the end... if only that had happened... I would have been more happy than I was when I arrived at the Digital World. It was feasible- it could have happened. Maybe it would have, if it wasn't for the blond haired rebel.
"What?" Brilliant comment by me.
"I love him." Tai slowly turned his face to me, his eyes searching mine. "Matt Ishida. I love him..."
Breathless silence. Finally, I answered, not trusting myself to say more than a few words. "I know."
"How?"
I consider slowly, my mind tearing up, my heart tearing up, but still the cold stone of logic and reason as before. "You always talk about him. You were always with him... and when he... was gone... You couldn't take it. It was not difficult to figure out."
"You were always... smart... Izzy," Tai joked, his voice cracking. "To smart."
"Yes, it's a bad habit I'm afraid I've been unable to get rid of." For a second, we smiled at each other, comfortable just being here together.
Then Tai closed his eyes, and squeezed my hand as he spoke again. "You're right... as usual, buddy..." He took a deep breath. I could hear the heart moniter going steadily, and it gave me some comfort. "I couldn't help it... you know? I couldn't... stop falling in love... with him..."
Oh, yes, Tai. I know the feeling.
"He was so... perfect. He hated to let people know... his good side... how much he really.. cared about TK.. and stuff..." Tai coughed violently. "And those eyes... they were so... telling, you know? I could always... see what he was thinking... when he was... hurt..." He stopped, taking deep, painful breaths. It was so hard for him to go on, but I knew he wanted to get it all out.
And as painful as it was for me, I would listen. This much I could do for him.
"An angel..." Tai said dreamily, his passionate eyes filled with longing for something long gone. "When I heard... about the- the accident..."
I tensed inwardly, reminded of that horrible night when Matt Ishida had been unable to get control of the car. It had slid on the ice... and the police had said there was no way he would have survived. Tai took the news somewhat badly.
"I couldn't believe it... I never... got the chance to... tell him," Tai said softly, tears brimming in his eyes. "I was devestated... but now... I'll have the chance, finally..." He smiled. "I'll be seein' him soon..."
I took a shuddering breath, trying to force the tears back in my eyes again. I didn't want to cry in front of Tai, not now, not when he needed to believe in life the most. "You will not die."
"Yeah, I will."
I bit my lip, unable to hold back a choked sob, and knew my eyes were shimmering with unfocused tears. "Y-you can't..."
Tai laughed, a sound that made like music to my ears. He hadn't laughed for so long, not since they told him he was sick. "Everyone dies, Izzy... even me..."
Silence again. From Tai, it was acceptable, comfortable, as if he knew this moment would come and he was going to take his time and make the most of it. From me, it was a devestated, confused mass of twisted feelings and a single cry to tell him, finally, that I loved him.
That was the problem, though. I could never tell him I loved him. He loved Matt Ishida, never me. And I could never place that burden of my love on his shoulders- because that's what it was, a burden. He had to be free to love the memory of Matt for as long as he wanted, and now that he would soon be gone, free to love him in whatever afterlife was.
All throughout the Digital World, I stayed by Taichi's side. I was always there to concoct a plan or give him thoughtful advice. Whenever he needed something analized, I was there to comply. Whenever he needed protection, I tried so hard to give it, and when he gave me an order, I obeyed. When Sora was kidnapped by Datamon, and we went into the pryamid to get her, Kabuterimon and I tried to protect him when Etemon followed us. I told him to go get Sora, but the real reason was that I wanted to protect him for once instead of the other way around. I couldn't let Etemon get him.
When Kari was sick,I followed him, listened to him, tried to help him even though in the end he thought I hindered him down in the sewers. I'm so sorry, Tai, that I made you upset. I was just worried about you... you were so tired... all I cared about was you. When you punched me, it felt like a thousand little knives had just delved into my chest, and all I could do was hold back tears.
All through the Digiworld, I was his partner, his balance. It was never me he wanted, but I never stopped trying. I knew how much he wanted Matt, how he had fallen in love with him.
But I never once faulted you, did I? I never once gave up on you.
I will always stay faithfully by your side, even now.
It is my last job. My last duty.
My last act of love.
Finally, Tai speaks, breaking my chaotic thoughts.
"Thanks for... being here... Izzy."
I nod silently, and hold his hand in mine for the last time. Because I know he was about to die, soon.
For once, I wish I had the strong faith he did.
"I could not be anywhere else," I say simply. There is nothing more to say.
"Yeah... do me a favor?"
"What do you want?"
Tai looks at me, and all I want is for him to say, "I love you, Izzy, not Matt, I just thought I did."
But I know those words are impossible, like rain falling upside down or people walking on spider webs.
"When I go... don't... just..." he struggles with the words. "Don't... forget me... but don't keep holding on... okay?"
There's a horrible ache in my chest at that, because I know I can't forget him, but I'll never be able to let go of him either. "I... I don't know if I can promise that."
"Try. For me."
"Okay," I say listlessly, not sure if I can keep it, but willing to try at least. At least I can do this for him. Try.
That's all I've ever done.
Now, my sweet Taichi is fading, and for the first time I let myself see it. I can't hold on to him, because he going away.
Matt, I hope you take good care of him.
For me.
"Tai..." I whisper, tears starting to fall against my will.
"Mm-hmm?"
"I..." I pause, fighting the ache that begs for me to tell him finally. "I'm sorry," I say instead, starting to cry harder. He gently shakes his head and motions for me to come closer. I comply, lowering my face til it's next to his, listening.
"Not... your fault... ever."
I close my eyes, and start to sob, unable to stop the shuddering tears that've come over me now. I've held them back to long, and like a dam, it's all coming out now. "I-I know... I just... felt it necessary..." I sniff, undignified, but unable to stop. "I-I wish I could have... stopped this..."
"You aren't God, Izzy... no one... is."
I take a sobbing breath, realizing at once that I am crying wildly. "I-I..." He strokes my hair gently, letting me cry. He must have known I've been needing this for a long, long time.
"It's... okay... I'll be okay..." he whispers, sure of himself like always. Some things never change.
It's my turn to nod, convinced, but still trembling in tears. He's tired now, so very tired, I think my little episode wore him out. His eyes are fluttering shut and opening again.
"Tired..."
I grip his hand tighter, feeling shaken and scared to the core of my being. "Don't go to sleep..." I whisper desperatly. Because if he closes those eyes, I may never see them again.
I don't want him to die.
"I'm so... tired... just need to... rest my eyes..." Tai mutters, slowly closing them.
"...Izzy...?"
"Yes?"
"Thanks... for being here... with me..."
"... one last..."
"...time..."
Taichi Kamiya closed his beautiful, so alive eyes. And once again, I was correct.
That was the last time I ever saw them open.
Ever since that night, in that soft lighted room with my love, I have hated hospitals.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi Kamiya
~1983-2001~
Beloved Son and Brother
I shivered and tightened my winter coat around me. The snow was falling heavily tonight, creating a white glittering canopy over the cemetary. All the stones were frosted over, cold as ice, and the chill was already starting to incapacitate me.
The flowers I had already placed upon Tai's grave were starting to frost over, and I had no doubt they wouldn't last long. I ran a gloved hand over the smooth stone, standing alone in the middle of the dark cemetary. Of course, I'd be incorrect to call it dark- the stars and moon cast more than enough light tonight, standing out from the dark black velvet sky.
Three months. Three months since the last time I saw him alive, that night in the hospital. Since then, he's passed away, and the funeral quickly done with. I saw Kari there, and Mimi and Sora came too. Joe tried to make it, but he was so busy with his studies, he couldn't stay for long.
Once we were the Digidestined, the impossible team of eight that saved the Digiworld. Now, we were the broken Digidestined, the mourning team of six, two short than when we had started.
It was hard, those first few weeks, without Tai. I cried. I cried longer than should have been humanly possible. Food was hard to digest, sleep almost impossible to obtain. Harder still to talk and move. My entire existance plummeting down into a well of pain.
I'd say things became better, but I'd be lying. It was easier to live, now, and I had graduated just a while ago. I used to believe that would be an important event, but I barely noticed when it happened. And although the amount of college acceptances were piling up on my bedroom desk, I had no wish to go to college until I was ready. I found it hard enough to leave my bedroom and computer, much less the entire city.
I ate. I slept. I moved in a daze, automattically, almost like a machine. Get up, eat breakfast, go back to my room and work on puzzles and computer viruses that needed deleting. Go to the cemetary every day, and remember things that only made my pain worse. Vicious cycles have nothing on me.
I run my hand over the tombstone again, always unbelieving that Tai was really under there. It just seemed... wrong. He was so alive. How could he be buried under so much earth, in the dark?
Closing my eyes, I shiver again, and step away, tears blocking my eyesight. I didn't even notice the crunching of the snow behind me, as boots tread over the frost.
"Izzy?"
Turning in surprise, I clutch my coat to me and stare. And stare. Forced shocked, frozen words through my lips in surprise and confusion and fear.
"M-matt?"
The teenage boy looked surprised, his crystal blue eyes widening in his flushed face. The trademark blond hair was untouched by the wind, his lanky body umovable. "What?" The familiar blue eyes narrowed in thoughtful shock. "I- oh... you think..."
I stare at him, blushing somewhat. I can imagine what a spectacle I must be to him. Thin, pale older teen in the cemetary on a cold night, with only a flimsy demin coat and gloves. A boy with wide black eyes, filled with pain and confusion now, and a messy shock of red hair.
"I- who?" I murmer.
"It's.... it's not Matt, Izzy. It's Takeru," the boy stammers, blushing. "I-I didn't mean to..."
"Takeru...?" I whisper, confused for a second, before eyes widening. "TK?"
TK grinned, painfully reminding me of his older brother. "Yup! That's me. You look... wow. Different." His smile faded, replaced by concern. "You've taken his death hard, haven't you..." Statement, not question.
"I... it's great to see you!" I exclaim, genuinely meaning it. I hadn't seen him for years, not since Matt's funeral. "And... yes... I-I did take it rather hard..." Silently thinking, 'you have no idea just how hard.'
"I was sorry I couldn't make it for the funeral," TK says softly, grief melting into his expression. He walked up, standing beside me and placing a hand on the tombstone in the same fashion I had. "I came here a week later to make up for it, but I'm sorry I missed you guys..."
"We understood," I say quietly, remember the single phone call from him that day. Hearing the pain in his voice. It was to much for him to go to another funeral, of the boy who was so close to his gone brother.
So here we stand, silent. It's strange- it's been so long since I've been with any of the Digidestined, and always then it was uncomfortable and hard to stay. TK made it easier- I could relax in his presence, something I hadn't been able to do for a long time.
The snow is starting to fall again, lightly brushing against my face. It must have looked odd, settling in my red hair. TK looked almost natural there, the snowflakes that drifted down on him making him look almost like a real angel, the cool, but so warm, blue gaze blending perfectly. I couldn't help but catch my breath for an instant at the sight.
I had never seen someone look so beautiful in the moonlight.
Blinking, I jerk in surprise as the thought sinks in. What was I thinking?! TK, Matt's little brother, beautiful? He was... well, no, he wasn't a baby. Not anymore. And not so much before either, considering I was only two years older than him.
As if sensing the need to have someone interrupt my thoughts, TK finally speaks. "After Matt died... I thought that would be the last grave I ever had to visit..." He closes his eyes, but I still glimpse the silver tears welling up in them. "I guess I was wrong."
I nod, feeling the same pain weighing on my chest. It's hard to speak against the lump in my throat, and the ache that's growing stronger in my heart. "It hurts the first time, and you believe nothing can hurt worse..."
"But then it does," TK finished. "and you find yourself wondering if it will ever just stop."
I nod in agreement, bowing my head slightly to hide some of the tears that have slid down my face in shame, wondering if there's someway I can wipe them away without him noticing.
"I've never seen you cry."
To late. Ah, the bittersweet irony of life kicks me again.
I answer almost as if asleep, slowly and carefully. "It's not something I prefer people to see."
"Why?" TK asks, his blue eyes locking onto mine. For a moment, I'm reminded even more of his brother, although TK's eyes are lighter, more filled with warmth and trust than the rebellious aloof look Matt always strove for.
I take my time answering. "Because... I don't like the world to see my pain so easily. It's easier... hiding... not letting anyone know..." I close my eyes against the ommission, wondering what prompted me to tell TK such an intimate, personal detail of my world.
Strangely, I didn't find it so hard to say.
TK smiled wistfully. "I used to think, back in the Digiworld, that you were always distant. I used to wonder why you never wanted to do anything with the group, and why you were always on your computer instead of talking to the other guys." His smile widened into a grin for a second, and I saw the bright, hopeful TK I was used to seeing. It was a welcomed sight from the sadness. "I... I remember the day I came up to you and asked if you wanted to play tag."
My eyes widen, and I laugh in spite of myself. "I remember that- I wasn't sure how to tell you I hated tag, and I was a little... old for it."
"Not so old in age," TK corrected. "Just in maturity! And I had no idea you didn't want to play. I just wanted to cheer you up because you looked so down!"
Both of us grinned, despite of the place and circumstances, lost in the happy, oddly clear memory from way back.
"Those were good times," TK said, slowly returning to solmoness. It wasn't a look suited for him, and I illogically felt a need to make him smile again. It was so hard to be sad when TK was around. It had always been so, and obviously the talent had grown over the years.
"Yeah," I agreed. "They were. Even if half the time all I could hear was Joe complaining about the evil of allergies and his ideas of hiding in small dark caves." TK laughed.
"He was really great, wasn't he? I miss him... what's he doing now a days?"
I pause, recalling with some clouding what had escaped my memory. It felt incredibally freeing to focus on something and actually think it over, no matter how trivial a thing that was. It had been a while since I'd thought of anything more challenging than eat, sleep, cemetary.
"He's studying to become a marine biologist." I smile, happy to remember that from last week when he called me. "He's decided being a doctor isn't what he wants... just what his dad wants. Fortunatly, his father agrees that it is a highly impressive field and thinks it would do him some positive good."
"What about Mimi? I've been in touch with Kari and Sora, but I haven't heard from her for a long time!"
"She's planning her own fashion outlet, if I recall correctly."
"Poor customers."
"Exactly." I laugh. I haven't laughed so long in ages.
Silence falls again, hospital for once than the other harsh silences I've been through. Just TK and I, and the bitter chill of the wind biting our coats and the frost settling in our hair. Surrounded by death and a Winter Wonderland.
Finally, TK speaks again, softly and gently. "It's getting pretty cold... do you like hot chocolate?"
I blink, startled. "I... yes."
"With the little white marshmellows?" teases TK. I blush.
"Yes- and there's nothing wrong with it!" I declare, remembering the arguement he and Matt had gotten in over the cocoa after the Digital World. Funny memory- TK kept stealing Matt's marshmellows with a spoon when he wasn't looking. Of course, which led to an all out war...
"Are you sure? I mean, I think you might be getting a horrible disease from those things..." His grin widens, and he pretends to look frightened. "You could get the dreaded... Marshmellow Cocoa Virus!!!"
I make an indignant, but obviously exaggeratted sound, and grin. "Hmph, and what would this horrible disease do to me?"
TK looked solomn. "The victim slowly turns... purple." I snort, and start to laugh hard, as he continues. "And they get little white dots, and you think you see Patamons in cupid clothes..." By now, I'm in tears laughing. "And they shoot little apple darts at you while singing 'The Muffin Man' song..."
"Oh no!" I gasp, laughing and grasping my sides. "How perfectly horrible!"
"Oh yes, and it's very contageous."
"I guess I'll have to try not to catch it." I grin.
"Then again... they ARE marshmellows..." TK says, his eyes twinkling. "You can't have hot chocolate without them..."
"But at such a risk?" I ask in mock horror.
"I don't know... think you can handle it, Izzy?"
"I'll do my best," I say wryly.
"Then c'mon," he says, holding out a hand. His brilliant blue eyes meet mine again. Suddenly the laughing mood seems to be a little less warped. The warmth of friendship is still there, but there's a more serious side to his words.
He takes my hand, and for some reason I want to cry. "But..." I glance back at Tai's headstone, alone in the night.
"C'mon, Izzy," he insists gently. "We'll go to my house and get some hot cocoa."
"Thanks, but perhaps I'll wait on that offer..." I murmer, suddenly regretting my rash outbursts to him.
"No, you're coming with me," TK orders, something of a growl coming into his voice. I look at his face, and gape at the similar annoyance and anger on his face. An image of his brother, with no doubt. I could see the concern in his eyes, and it made me tremble.
"Why?"
TK sighs, and closes his eyes.
"You've been in the cold long enough."
The words strike me harder than I would have thought, and I close my eyes too.
"You can't grieve for him forever, Izzy. I know. I was so mad when Matt died- so scared and sad and alone. I thought the world was falling around me, and I couldn't hold it up. Didn't even want to try. I blame myself, still, even though I couldn't have known...." he stops, choking, but goes on. "I know you loved Tai. I know it hurt you to know he loved Matt, and you couldn't do anything even when he was dying. But... Life goes on. The heart goes on. You can't hide from the world, going through routine every day, never thinking or feeling for real. You gotta wake up. And you can start..." Gently, he places a bare hand on my face and I open my eyes to see him right up in my face, those oceanic eyes looking so much older than the young boy they belonged too.
"How?" I whisper. "How can I start?"
"By coming with me," TK says quietly. He removes his hand, and turns and walks away, leaving me standing in the snow, stunned and feeling like a million emotions just ran me over.
He stops a few feet away, his back to me. Turns and smiles.
"Well, are you coming?"
Slowly, I nod.
Without a word, without a thought, without a backward glance toward the empty silent tombstone that had been my only solace through these days, I walked toward TK and by his side as we started out of the cemetary. The snow falling around us.
'You've been in the cold to long.'
Oh, yes, Takeru, I've been in the cold. For much to long. But something tells me that's about to change. Suddenly, my dark, cold world was starting to light up and slowly fix me piece by piece.
With hope.
Something told me I wouldn't have to be alone again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taichi Kamiya closed his eyes and grinned. "I sure didn't see *that* one coming."
A pair of universally warm and familiar arms wrapped around him from behind, as a whisper by his ear made him smile in content. The angel brushed his face with his feathered wings. "What? TK and Izzy? I saw it a long long time ago."
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I did!" The angel laughed, and Tai leaned into his embrace in bliss.
"Are they going to be okay, then?"
Matt Ishida nodded, wrapping his wings around Tai and smiling. "Yes, Tai, they're going to be okay. More than okay."
"Good..."
"I love you, Taichi."
"I love you too, Matt."
"You know..." Tai trailed off, grinning mischievously.
"What?" Matt raised an eyebrow.
Tai looked up at him, glowing with love. "This eternity stuff isn't so bad."
"After all, I'm with you."
Two blissful hearts in heaven and two on earth make love worth waiting for, don't you think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END: ::grins:: What can I say? I actually liked writing that! Although it made me cry forever... Review if you want to- if you don't... ::cackles:: I WILL COME AFTER YOUUUU!! And haunt you with the Marshmellow Cocoa Virus! (My own creation, naturally. ^_^) WHo else could come up with such an insane illness?
Daisuke: Konnichiwa Kaaaaaay!
..... nevermind.
Daisuke: Guess what?!
What?
Dai-kun: I'm your new.... ::drumroll:: MUSE!!!!
::a scream echoes throughout Fanfiction Net::
Daisuke: .... was it something I said?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~