Title: Sakende Yaruze! (I Will Shout!)
Author: korosu Hikaru
Beta and translation work: korosu Chiki
Pairing/s: SenRu
Genre: A touch of drama, a pinch of angst, and truckloads of romance. (Chiki: Kind of weird proportions there, Hikaru...)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When you need to cry, you cry. When you need to shout, you shout. When you love someone, you need to say it. Right then and there. Or else the feeling would just... Pass you by.
Archive: Blue Flame, Slam Dunk Chronicles, Hikaru's T.K. journal, the Black Unforgiven web-diary, and anywhere else (just please ask first!)
Disclaimer: Slam Dunk belongs to Takehiko Inoue and associates, I.T. Planning, etc.
Author's notes: It has got to be more than two years since I last made a SenRu. Please be kind, I still have to refine my dulled plot-making and story-telling skills a bit more. I borrowed the story's title from a manga I read some years back, by Satosumi Takaguchi. The last bit of the summary is some lines from the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding". Dedicated to the AkiraxKaede ML and my band!
Beta/translator's notes: The timeline of the story shifts to the past in between Acts 1 and 2. Which means Acts 1.1, 1.2, and 1.3 do not occur in the story's real time. Hikaru decided to play with the flashbacks, so please be guided accordingly. Some teensy spoilers for manga volumes 29 and 31, if you squint hard enough. Hikaru also altered the timeline a bit to fit her liking. Dedicated to the yaoi faction of my university's SC.
Act 1.0 (Prologue)
Sendoh Akira decided to drop by Shohoku High the afternoon immediately before the summer's basketball playoffs started. Not that it was his duty, as this year's captain of the Ryonan High basketball club, to check out the competition. Shohoku was, after all, this summer's second-seed team. But snooping out the neighbouring (as well as the distant) prefecture teams was Hikoichi Aida's self-appointed obligation to the team partly as the new club manager. Not that it was Sendoh's style to sneak around anyway. No, this trip was far more important than that.
Rounding off the corner to Shohoku High, he could already hear faint sounds coming from the direction of the school's gymnasium. Trained ears strained to catch distinctively basketball sounds -- the squeak of rubber bash against linoleum tiles, the bounce of the basketball on the floor, the rap of the ball hitting the board due to a misplaced shot. Oh, and of course, the unmistakable bark of laughter caused by none other than a certain high-spirited redhead. Sendoh took note of a ubiquitous pink-coloured bicycle perched on a shadowed area of the building. His thin lips quirked upwards, as he thought of the unmistakable owner of that bike.
He quietly made his way to the gym's outside entrance, careful not to make any noise to announce his presence. He'd rather watch first, before disrupting practice. He leaned against the frame of the doorway, his eyes immediately closing in on the person who he especially made this trip for. Sendoh Akira watched silently, like a predator stalking his prey, observing his subject's agile movements, the grace in every turn, the flawless technique in his shots. A rare smile that spoke of silent admiration and hints of love lit up Sendoh's face. And that was when their eyes met. Sendoh's heart skipped a beat as they momentarily locked gazes, his cobalt-blue gaze matching with turquoise ice.
The other took a moment before nodding his head in acknowledgement, evidently surprised with Sendoh's sudden visit. "Akira-san," he greeted quietly yet with uncharacteristic warmth.
"Kaede-kun." Sendoh said gently in response.
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Act 1.1
It had all started when Shohoku High came home eliminated from the third round of the tournament. It just so happened that when people like Sakuragi Hanamichi or Mitsui Hisashi wish to vent their frustrations by physically harassing people, there are also some like Rukawa Kaede who prefer channelling it towards a more productive outlet such a whole day's workout at the courts. It was then that Sendoh saw him, on his way to the port area. He could not stop himself from staring; it was like watching a dance of power and intensity -- very sensual and seductive. Seeing him play on the television was nothing compared than seeing it first-hand. He has never felt this drawn to Rukawa since the last time they played against each other.
All fishing intentions forgotten, Sendoh watched quietly on the sidelines. Watching Rukawa was one of the best moments of his life. One of Rukawa's most closely-guarded secrets, his soul, was bared for everyone to see when he plays basketball. You just have to take the time and watch, he realised with a pang. He suddenly felt sorry for the boy. The more he saw, the more he knew. In every dribble was a hint of pain, in every dunk a scream of frustration, in every shot a cry for attention. His eyes asked for understanding, his body begged for a loving touch.
Every action, Sendoh saw. And he understood. He has never felt this close to Rukawa, sharing such an intimate moment with the normally unapproachable boy. He allowed himself a small smile. It was then that Sendoh vowed to come by this basketball court everyday, hoping to bump into Rukawa, and maybe they could play. Together.
He silently crept away. Rukawa continued playing. He never noticed.
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Act 1.2
Their meetings were at first awkward and coincidental -- oftentimes at the basketball court connecting the Shohoku and Ryonan districts -- but it was not long before Sendoh got to see even more beyond the misanthropic facade of the feared Super Rookie. With the summer basketball season concluded, and trainings not as frequent and rigorous as before, Sendoh made it a point to come by Shohoku High during after-school hours, whisking Rukawa off to the basketball court, to which the younger boy surprisingly did not show any sign of resistance to.
The court became a testament to their blossoming friendship, which over a few months evolved to that of a close sort of companionship between the two of them. To the passers-by who come from both districts, to see Sendoh and Rukawa passing their afternoons playing ball against or with each other was no longer an unexpected sight.
Whatever relationship Sendoh or Rukawa had was not limited to the courts as well. They would go to the neighbouring Red Bean cafe after their daily basketball afternoon ritual, relieving tired muscles over a pitcher of cold ale, one heaping plate of strawberry (Rukawa's favourite) and lemon (Sendoh's preference) crepes, and a comfortable silence. On the other hand, during autumn and the winter, when sometimes the weather did not permit them to play together, they would settle over a simple cup of hot tea (with lemon and honey for Sendoh) and engage in small talk. They were the Red Bean's best customers and it gave the female owner delight to serve them their orders personally.
"A very cute couple, both of you," Calleigh, the cafe owner, once mused out loud to the two while serving them their crepes and ale.
She was greeted with such the picturesque response: both had choked on their drink, Sendoh sputtering ("Callie-san! Don't joke around like that, we're not a couple!") , and laughing as if it was a joke, Rukawa silently bowing his head ("..."), raven hair shielding his eyes from view but a visible, adorable pink slightly tinted his cheeks in embarrassment.
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Act 1.3
"Do you think people really see us as a couple?"
Sendoh stopped in his tracks, lightly surprised that the normally oblivious Rukawa Kaede would ask such a straight-forward question.
Sendoh just smiled. "Does it really bother you that much, Rukawa-kun?" He fought the urge to ruffle the younger boy's hair. "Don't you think we look good together anyway?" He teased further.
Rukawa hid his eyes from view, but could not shield his embarrassed flush from Sendoh. "Don't say strange things like that, Sendoh-san, if you-"
"Akira."
Rukawa's head suddenly snapped up, to see Sendoh smiling fondly at him. "Huh?" Rukawa looked palpably confused, and Sendoh fought another urge to ruffle his hair.
Sendoh shrugged sheepishly. He grinned at Rukawa. "Akira. I thought that maybe you could start calling me that." He grimaced slightly to emphasise his point. "'Sendoh-san' sounds too ridiculously formal, and I was never one to observe such formalities with friends."
"Oh. Okay, then," Rukawa's face remained indifferent.
Sendoh inwardly sighed. Why was it so hard to get any emotion out of this guy? "After all," he chirped, flinging a casual arm around Rukawa's shoulders, "We should start getting familiar with each other if we're going to be a couple, don't you think so, Kaede-chan..?"
Rukawa's shoulders stiffened and he brushed Sendoh's arm away, much to the senior's disappointment. "Don't ever call me that, you hear?" He briskly walked away.
Now he really did it. Rukawa was mad. He dropped to his knees and mock-grovelled. "Aw, I'm sorry, Rukawa-kun, I was just jok-"
"... ede-kun."
Rukawa turned around and caught Sendoh in mid-grovel. "It's Kaede-kun," he mumbled, his azure eyes trained on the horizon behind Sendoh. "You should learn that if I'm going to be calling you Akira, Akira-san." The name trilled warmly off the usually-cold boy's lips. Rukawa met Sendoh's startled gaze, and did something which further shocked his senior.
He smiled.
Rukawa Kaede smiled at Sendoh for the first time since they met.
Sendoh stood in place, still revelling from the shock of Rukawa's smile. He stared, transfixed at the face of the younger boy. He bit his lip, holding back the huge smile that was threatening to break out of him.
"Erm," Rukawa muttered, looking at the ground again, growing uncomfortable under Sendoh's scrutinising look. "I-it's getting late, Akira-san. I'll be going home now. And thank you for the crepes."
"I'll see you tomorrow, then?"
Rukawa stopped in his tracks and threw a wave. "... Aa."
Sendoh let go of the smile he was holding back. He could feel his own smile spreading warmth inside of him, his heart beating twice as fast.
Sendoh Akira has yet discovered another real part of Rukawa. Underneath that seemingly constant impassive, icy demeanour is a normal, awkward adolescent with a crooked smile.
Act 2.0
Sendoh tilted his head back and let the breeze wash over his face. How he had fallen in love with the oceans, and all the life surrounding it. If basketball was his life's partner, then the sea his mistress. He calmly took in the sensations around him, his senses briefly overwhelmed by the majesty of it all. The sound of the bay crashing against the port area, the winds' serenade a gentle tune, the faint taste of seawater in the air... It was all one needed to tame the basketball genius Sendoh Akira.
His companion watched as Sendoh completely lost himself to the elements. He had to admit, with the wind in his hair, he looked more like a sea deity than the guise of a basketball champion he assumes. Not to mention that with that expression of complete peace and serenity gracing his boyish features, he looked like he could wield the power to control the sea and the winds with one word. Rukawa let out a contented sigh and let himself revel as well in the beauty of his surroundings. This was definitely worth skipping out basketball practise over. Rukawa closed his eyes.
Moments like these with Sendoh Akira are what, ideally, keep Rukawa Kaede in touch with himself nowadays. He is able to shed his mask without apprehension because he has learned to trust Sendoh. It takes a lot to earn Rukawa Kaede's trust, but Sendoh's warmth, sincerity of heart, and determination was what eventually won him over. Once Rukawa had learned to strip off all his inhibitions, he has slowly learned to embrace all the colour and life that Sendoh brought into his life. The fact that he was someone he could share a passion for basketball with became merely secondary in the end.
When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Sendoh smiling gently at him. "I knew you would like it here."
"It's very... Soothing out here."
"I know," Sendoh yawned as he stretched out on the grassy field. "When I need to unwind, I come here. And on really bad days, I would even bring my fishing rod. I could spend hours here fishing, even if I don't get as much as a nibble." He chuckled to himself.
Rukawa settled on the grass next to Sendoh. He let his gaze wander into the horizon, the setting sun letting off hues of red and orange into the sky. "I've never been here. Where are we anyway?"
"We're in Shoyo district, and this is the best coastal area around. I do most of my fishing here, since it's mostly secluded. Very private and therapeutic." Sendoh flashed Rukawa a devilish grin. "We should try it sometime, Kaede. It might do you some good -- maybe melt that glower you've been wearing forever."
The younger boy shot his senior a withered glance. "None of your business," he snapped good-naturedly.
The two settled into a comfortable silence, quietly watching the setting sun. Both of them acknowledged the fact that moments of silence, such as these, could stretch on between them for as long as they wanted, without having to worry about making awkward and strained small talk.
Rukawa broke the silence by asking, "Why did you bring me out here, Akira-san?"
Sendoh smiled. "I wanted to talk to you about something. No, actually, about someone," he paused for dramatic effect and looked at Rukawa.
The raven-haired boy raised an eyebrow and prompted, "And?"
"Kaede, I think I have fallen in love."
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Act 2.1
Rukawa did not know what to think at first. The words sounded hollow and grave to his ear, so uncharacteristic of Sendoh. Deep down inside, he was a kaleidoscope of surging emotions. Curiosity and happiness battle with jealousy and envy. He racked his brain for a name or a face that he could identify as someone who could make Sendoh Akira fall in love over. His mind drew a blank. He masked his internal conflict with a placid face and asked, "With who?" keeping his tone neutral and unaffected.
Sendoh just shrugged mysteriously. "Just... someone."
"I see."
Sendoh looked into his eyes. Rukawa was slightly surprised to see storm-tossed eyes laced with raging emotion, instead of the lucid ones he knew so well. "Ahh, it's very complicated. Let's just say it's someone who is least likely to reciprocate." It was rare that the basketball captain did not exude the same confidence and aura he was so much known for. Rukawa found the transformation rather disturbing.
The Shohoku ace looked away. "Does it even matter?" He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them.
The older boy sat up at the junior's interesting reply. "Of course it matters. Confessing your true feelings... Kaede, it's scary."
Without missing a beat, "What are you scared of?" He pressed.
A pause before answering. A deep, faraway look into the horizon. "When you tell someone you love them, it's almost the same as standing naked before them. It's nerve-racking and exhilarating. The person sees you for who you really are. Confessing your true feelings... It's like completely entrusting your heart to that person." Sendoh sighed and his gaze darkened. "When you give your heart, it's either of two things -- he could accept it, or he could drop it to the ground. Then my heart will shatter." He looked up at Rukawa and gave a sad smile.
Rukawa bit the inside of his lower lip, not wanting to meet Sendoh's eyes. "Do you trust that person?"
Sendoh thought of Rukawa and answered, "Yes. Explicitly."
"Then," Rukawa gathered up the courage and said, "You should know that when you love someone, you say it. Right then and there. Or else the feeling would just... Pass you by. The logic is as easy as, if you have to shout, then you should shout."
Sendoh felt like losing himself in the raven-haired boy's blue gaze. His eyes have lost the guarded, haunted look, replaced with warmth and honesty. "I... guess you're right." He gave the shy boy a fond smile.
"What will you do now, Akira-san?"
"Saa..."
For a moment, Rukawa could not decipher the shadowed expression on Sendoh's face. "..?"
Then suddenly, "Tickle fight!"
Sendoh half-clambered up the body of the still-shocked Rukawa ("Ahh! No! Akira-san!"), grabbed his waist and tickled.
Rukawa could not any more suppress the laughter at the back of his throat. It first came out in short gasps, then faint giggles, and then full-fledged laughter. "No... No more! Stop! Can't... breathe!" And more laughter after that.
The older boy, who was now straddling the younger's knees, laughed along. He immediately decided that Rukawa's laughter is one of life's most beautiful sounds and made an internal promise to make the stoic boy laugh more. "I didn't know you were so ticklish, Kaede-kun!"
When Sendoh stopped his assault, Rukawa shot him the most deathly of glares. "You..." He noticed that Sendoh did not make any motion to move from his current position, but decided that he didn't mind anyway.
"Hehehe." Sendoh grinned cheekily at him. And Rukawa knew that he was back to his old self again. "Sorry, Kaede, I couldn't help myself! You looked too cute just then!"
The younger boy flashed his senior a look of masculine indignance. "C-cute..?" He tried his best to look irritated, but he still didn't push him away.
Then finally, Sendoh stood up, extending an arm to help a still quite annoyed Rukawa to his feet. "Yeah. You're cute."
Then without thinking, he ruffled Rukawa's hair and pulled him to a one-arm hug. He needed to take advantage of the moment, trying to show Rukawa how he feels instead of telling him. He half-wished Rukawa would pick up on the hint, and save him the trouble of having to confess.
Rukawa was caught unawares at the sudden contact, but he allowed himself to lean in to the touch. "You owe me crepes and tea."
Sendoh laughed, as he released Rukawa and they walked towards the nearby train station, his arm draped over his junior's shoulder. "I guess I do."
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Act 2.2
"Can I... Walk you home?"
The younger boy narrowed his eyes at Sendoh. "First I'm cute, then you offer to walk me home like I'm some girl. Don't think that just because you treated me to tea tonight-"
Sendoh held up his hands in defence. "I-it's not that! I was thinking that maybe we could, you know, talk some more."
"Tch. Fine. But if you try to hold my hand, I'm going to pummel you into the ground." Idiot Akira.
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Act 2.3
He did not hold Rukawa's hand, but he did walk closely to him. Unusually closer than how male friends would walk when with each other. "You did not even bother asking me again who the person was."
"I figured that if you didn't want to tell me the first time, I wouldn't bother asking again." His tone was placid and shallow. "I respect that."
"What if I told you it was not a girl?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Why do you keep on answering me with questions?"
Rukawa sighed, exasperated. "Akira-san, I just want to hear what you have to say before I say anything." He spun on his heel and abruptly crossed the street to his house. He motioned for Sendoh to follow.
"Please come in."
The senior nodded and mutely followed. He grabbed an extra pair of house sandals, slipped them on, and followed Rukawa inside his house.
"This is the receiving area. It's not much of a living room but make yourself comfortable. Drink?"
"Pocari."
"No Pocari. I'll make tea instead. Help yourself to some candy." With that Rukawa left to make tea, leaving Sendoh to his thoughts.
Sendoh looked at the candy dish, amused that Rukawa would have such an implement in the house. Leaving candy dishes on the coffee table was a modernised Japanese tradition, making it so that visitors would be shown immediate hospitality. Sendoh was sure Rukawa did not usually have people coming over enough to leave candy dishes for.
He helped himself to a toffee drop, carefully observing his surroundings. He had always visualised a home like this would house someone like Rukawa Kaede. Modern on the outside, yet traditional on the inside. A simple kitchen was on the adjacent, and a fragile bamboo sliding door separated the receiving area from the dining area. To his right was a large window, a small garden. A large basketball hoop stood in its centre and several basketballs littered the area. It seemed out of place, yet they were probably the only things in the house identifiable with Rukawa. Sendoh smiled to himself.
"Tea."
"Oh." He snapped out of his stupor. "Thanks."
Rukawa took his seat opposite Sendoh. He was quiet, and just sipped his tea. He seemed oblivious to his senior's discomfort. The silence stretched into what felt like an eternity.
"Kaede. Are you angry at me?"
Rukawa sighed and put down his tea. "No, Akira, it's just that I'm tired of this." He looked away, directly avoiding Sendoh's look.
He gave the junior a concerned look. "What, Kaede?"
"Of you. Like a while ago, we were talking, I feel like you always have to hold yourself back. You keep on treating me like I'm weak or fragile." His words were laced with frustration. "You don't have to always watch yourself with me. I want you to feel comfortable with me; I want you to trust yourself with me."
Sendoh's eyes widened at the sudden burst of emotions coming from the boy. Although he did not mean to make the boy feel what he did, he still accepted what Rukawa had just admitted to him. "Kaede-"
"I'm not finished." This time, Rukawa looked directly at Sendoh. "I know that I have not been as half good a friend you have been to me. I also know that I probably do not deserve what I ask from you. But I want you to know that I have accepted you, the same way that you have accepted me. You have my complete trust, and I hope someday I will be someone you could trust as much as well. Akira-san." Rukawa played with his tea glass, looking unsure of himself.
Suddenly, in a fluid motion, Sendoh reached for Rukawa from across the table pulling him in a tight embrace. He knocked both their tea to the tatami, but neither noticed. He could not keep his feelings hidden for any longer. "You're so stupid, Kaede! Stupid and silly." He gingerly smoothed Rukawa's hair and whispered, "Of course I trust you, Kaede. You are the best, best friend I have ever had. You are the most important person in my life right now." His words elicited a small gasp from the younger.
He let go of Rukawa and held his chin so that they were face-to-face. He let his thumb roam over the shy boy's smooth cheeks. He looked deep into the beautifully darkened gaze of Rukawa. His smile betrayed everything he felt for the other boy. There was no going back. "You told me that when you love someone, you should say it, because the feeling would go away. But not with you, Kaede."
Rukawa could feel himself melting under the intense look Sendoh was giving him. He would have shrunk under the weight of it all, if not for the strong arm supporting his waist and the hand softly holding face. He remained motionless and speechless, feeling the senior's confessions coming off in waves. "Akira..."
"Since the first day we squared off in a practice game last year, until now, the feeling has never wavered a bit. You know why, Kaede? Because in every moment I have spent you, I always find something new that I fall in love with. With every day, I keep re-discovering the true Rukawa Kaede, and I always look forward to the next day, hoping to uncover more of what's real." A single tear rolled off Rukawa's eye, which Sendoh caught softly with his lip.
"Everyday, Kaede, I fall for you everyday." Sendoh smiled into the hair of Rukawa.
Rukawa slowly pulled away, and without breaking eye contact with Sendoh, wandered around the table to sit beside him. His expression still undecipherable, he touched Sendoh's lips with his fingertips, and intertwined his other hand with Sendoh's. Both smiled at the same time. Sendoh stood up, pulling the other boy with him. Rukawa looked up and matched the intensity of Sendoh's gaze. As if on cue, their lips sought out each other, both meeting in mid-way. Electricity shot out in different directions the moment their lips touched. Their bodies moulded together perfectly, like a skilfully crafted jigsaw puzzle. Arms wound out to wrap around each other.
The kiss was slow and heart-felt, like two souls who have finally found in each other what they spent their life searching for. Sendoh poured out a year's worth of suppressed desire and love into the kiss. For Rukawa, the kiss was his discovery and acceptance of what he was deprived of all his life -- love, understanding, trust.
Sendoh broke off the kiss. It left him breathless, both literally and figuratively. He was met with a lovely vision -- wide-eyed Rukawa, partly swollen lips, and the adorable flush staining his cheeks. He licked his lips as he moved in for another kiss, which Rukawa was only too willing to return.
The second kiss was more urgent, passionate than the first. Inhibitions were thrown out the window, as both tried to satiate their thirst for the other. Their internal axis was thrown off as the couple sank to the floor, not breaking contact. Rukawa clung on to Sendoh, as the other's mouth latched onto his neck, nibbling softly.
"Akira... Stay with me tonight?" Rukawa asked in a husky, deep voice, which threatened to break any self-control Sendoh had left.
"Wasn't planning on going anywhere anyway."
Act 3.0 (Epilogue)
He was awakened by the unfamiliar sensation of a warm body shifting next to him. Even the bed seemed alien to him. He groggily opened his eyes, the sight of a strange room greeting him.
"You're awake."
The voice was unmistakable. And all the events of yesterday came back to him. Last night, after making out in the receiving room, Rukawa had surprised Sendoh with a spread of Chinese dishes for dinner. After eating and doing the dishes -- Rukawa refused to put off washing dishes for the next day, but Sendoh complied anyway -- they made their way to the bedroom. Both had thought of making love, but they decided it was not the right time for them to do so. Instead there was a lot of kissing, necking, petting, and wandering hands, but nothing below the belt. And Sendoh would not have it any other way as well, if it was up to him.
Last night was perfect. There was even a funny bit when Rukawa was rummaging in his wardrobe, trying in vain to find clothes that fit the senior. The younger boy was considerably less bulky than him, not to mention about three or four inches shorter. In the end, Sendoh was able to fit in a pair of jogging pants that rode a good two inches above his ankle, and Rukawa's number-11 Shohoku jersey. They tucked in together, and they fell asleep in each other's arms.
Sendoh inwardly sighed in relief. Hard to believe everything was not just a dream. Even harder to believe was that it all happened in a span of less than a day.
"Good morning, Kaede-chan."
Rukawa smiled warily. "I thought I told you to never call me that."
Sendoh grinned back. "We should start getting familiar with each other if we're going to be a couple, don't you think so?" He teased as a feeling of deja vu tugged at his heart.
Rukawa rolled his eyes as Sendoh cuddled him. "'Kaede' is as familiar as anyone can get. I think you know that you are just about the only one who I allow to call me by my first name."
"Mmmm..." Sendoh purred as he nuzzled Rukawa's nape.
"I have a question though -- You remember last year, when we came home after our elimination from the games, I was playing in the basketball court near the Red Bean." Sendoh nodded ("Mmhmm..."), the afternoon still clear in his memory. When he conclusively fell in love with the boy. "You were there that day, weren't you?"
"Huh?" Sendoh looked over Rukawa's back and saw a smirk about to form on the ivory-faced second-year. "You knew?"
"Yes... I was thinking about you then, actually."
"Really?" Sendoh teased, flattered.
Rukawa turned from his position and faced the Ryonan captain. "I was saying to myself how much I have learned from the tournament, and that I was going use everything to defeat you this year." He smiled fondly as his finger drew patterns on his senior's marble-chiselled cheek. "But I thought to myself, the most important lesson I've learned in basketball, I learned from you. Not from the Inter Highs."
Sendoh caught Rukawa's hand and kissed it tenderly. "What would that be?"
"While facing off against Sawakita Eiji, I thought of the last time we played against each other. When you first told me about him. When you told me about my weakness as a team player. Your criticism helped me a lot, and in the end we won. I realised that I have not even thanked you yet."
"I watched that match. You were amazing; you showed so much development since entering high school. I'm proud of you, Kaede," Sendoh said with utmost sincerity.
"Thank you, Akira. For then, for now, for everything. Thank you," Rukawa's eyes shone genuinely.
"Anything for you, Kaede. But," a teasing glint came to Sendoh's eyes, "If you did see me, couldn't you even have said a 'hello'? You know I would've gladly played with you."
Rukawa blushed. "Well, I couldn't face you then. I was too embarrassed. We lost, and I was playing like a madman. I just needed to vent my frustrations out and had you joined me, I would've vented them out on you as well."
"It was a good thing, then." Sendoh leaned down for a kiss. "Not to mention that I quite enjoyed myself watching you play. Did I say how sexy I think you are when you play basketball, especially with that serious look on your face?" He winked, as Rukawa let out a small shriek of indignation at his comment ("Akira!").
Rukawa's gaze softened as Sendoh grabbed both his hands. "No, seriously now. That time, watching you, was the first time I have felt that I understood you. I felt that I've taken the first step to getting close to you. Which is why I eventually felt guilty, sharing such an intimate moment with you without your consent. I felt like I was overstepping my bounds. But it was that day..."
Sendoh paused and kissed Rukawa's hands for emphasis, "That I knew I've fallen for you. I mean, I knew already that what I felt for you was something beyond friendship, but when I saw you play, I saw something beyond you. I saw who Kaede-kun really was. I wanted to reach out to you, but most of all, I wanted to be together with you. I wanted to share your hardships and sufferings. I love you, Kaede."
The younger boy has heard lots of wonderful things from Sendoh, but this was by far one of the best yet. He was touched beyond comprehension. He couldn't believe that Sendoh is willing to give this much love, and that he was on the receiving end of it.
"A-Akira, I-I don't know..." Sendoh has completely succeeded in breaking through to reach him, to touch him, embrace him, but...
Sendoh smiled in understanding. "That's okay, Kaede. You don't have to give me an answer or anything. I will wait. When you're ready, I'll be still here."
Rukawa embraced the older boy. "Thank you. Just thank you," he said thickly. Even if he did feel that he does love Sendoh, he just needed a bit more time. Maybe soon.
Sendoh smiled in content, deciding that this will have to do for now.
Finished: 6:58 PM 12/27/04
Complete translation and beta work: 5:58 PM 1/4/05