BuckyNat Smut-A-Thon: Monday Hurt/Comfort - Rose
Summary: Natalia and James were able to flee the Red Room together, trying to take care of the child that is growing inside her.
Stars-inthe-sky asked for the hurt/comfort chapter to be about the Winter Soldier comforting Nat through the worst moment of her life. I got another baby related prompt from a friend. And, since I'm a huge fan of the comic by Marjorie Liu, I put Rose into it, also the theme of autumn since I saw so many autumn related stuff lately.
Thanks, Jessi00920 for the beta.
This in an alternative version of a part of Bloodline I haven't published yet. It's still at least 15 chaps away and holds a, let's say, bastardized version of the "The name of the Rose" comic. I love it, even cosplayed a comic book page which the actual author approved of and shared!
But I wish it had been Bucky she had that affair with. So, I turned my wish into a fanfic. In Bloodline the ending is a bad one. Yet for this alternative version I want to give them a glimpse of happiness and…. change a few things. Don't worry, the truly graphic stuff won't be in here . But the emotional turmoil both of them went through.
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
Beginning of the second trimester:
"I didn't know you could be so domestic." Natalia realized while she shovelled another spoonful into her mouth.
"During war you learn how to take care of yourself and that also means making edible food that supplies you with everything to keep on fighting." And by the amounts she had to consume to keep her weight the nourishment was desperately needed. "Here, take my plate."
"But you haven't finished yet." Natalia protested.
"I'm done. And our child needs it more than me." He said soothingly.
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
"We should think about names." Natalia said one day, starting a discussion that might last for weeks.
"I think we should wait until the kid is out. Once we see it, we'll know. Also, we have no idea if it will be a boy or a girl."
"I think it's a girl."
"Why?"
"Because I clearly won the fight. My female side was way stronger, making it a girl."
"Oh, you think that is how this works?"
"Why not?"
"Okay, I'll bite. So what's your idea?"
"I want to call her Rose." She saw his puzzled look. "I am like autumn, with my hair like the leaves ready to fall, ready for Winter." Her eyes glinted at that. "And your nickname, come on. You impersonate that dark, cold time of the year."
"I try not to see that as an insult."
She chuckled. "But her, she will be like spring. Like the flowers blooming again. That is also when she should be born, right? You said February or March."
"It takes nine month to carry a baby, yes."
"So then she'll be a spring child. And that needs a fitting name. Also, Roses are strong, they have thorns to protect themselves."
James smiled kindly before gently stroking through her hair. "And they have your beautiful red color."
"So… Rose?"
He kissed her, showing her all the love her felt right now. "It's a perfect name." Let's hope she's not born in winter...
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
End of the second trimester:
It was one of those rare moments when she had the chance of restful sleep when he could embrace her from behind and just… feel. His human hand gently rested on her swelling stomach, following the tumbling inside. The baby was so active, it kept his lover awake all night.
A particularly hard kick made Natasha groan.
"Нет, малыш, дай мама спать. Ей нужен отдых. (No, baby, let your mother sleep. She needs rest.)" James whispered to the child in the womb. But that only made the kicking stronger and Natalia's increasing heartbeat was a clear sign that it woke her up.
Спи, младенец мой прекрасный,
Баюшки-баю.
Тихо смотрит месяц ясный
В колыбель твою.
Стану сказывать я сказки,
Песенку спою;
Ты ж дремли, закрывши глазки,
Баюшки-баю.
…
Да, готовясь в бой опасный,
Помни мать свою...
Спи, младенец мой прекрасный,
Баюшки-баю.
[Sleep, my beautiful good boy,
Bayushki bayu,
Quietly the moon is looking
Into your cradle.
I will tell you fairy tales
And sing you little songs,
But you must slumber, with your little eyes closed,
Bayushki bayu.
...
While preparing for the dangerous battle
Please remember your mother.
Sleep, good boy, my beautiful,
Bayushki bayu.]
At last the baby was quiet again, yet the mother was awake anyway. "What was that? It sounded nice."
"A Russian lullaby. I heard it while…" I assassinated a young mother to get to her husband who was a traitor to Russia. "... I was on a mission."
"Did you kill the child, too?" She asked, her voice neutral.
Leave no one alive. Eradicate them thoroughly. He didn't answer, the memory of the blood in the cradle too horrifying now that he himself was about to become a parent.
His silence was answer enough. "Maybe that was for the better. I was an orphan. And that's not something you want to be in this world, in this age."
"No… but our baby will have a brighter future ahead."
She didn't want to dwell in dark thoughts. "Can you teach me?"
"Teach you what?"
"The lullaby. It is clearly made to be sung by a mother, not the father."
He gently kissed the top of her head while his hand continued to caress her stomach. "I can sing it whenever you want me to."
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
"Again?" Natalia asked him with a wide grin as she regained her breath.
"God, you are insatiable. Is the pregnancy making you so desperate?"
"Maybe?" She rubbed against him, her growing belly making it difficult.
Knowing about the issue he sat up and moved between her legs. "Let me take care of you first." A second later he already drowned her in pure bliss.
There couldn't be anything more amazing than having him eat her out like a feast while his hands gently cradled her swollen belly. She felt comfortable in his intimate embrace. And right now even their child was calm and quiet. She felt like a fertility goddess, reigning over her mate and creating life with him. This was right. Natalia could not understand anymore why she had been willing to give this up only months ago.
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
Yet different times would come...
Natalia was leaning against the kitchen counter, while she fought off a wave of dizziness. It was getting worse every day and the baby's kicks were strong enough to leave visible bruises on her skin. She could barely eat and the exhaustion chained her to the bed for most of the day. Luckily James had been able to find vehicles every time they had to move. But they were running out of safe places to go and their handlers were close on their heels.
The door opened and James walked in, a load of firewood in his arms. He barely set them down before scolding her. "You shouldn't be up. Come on." He gently put his arms around her, guiding her shivering form into one of the chairs. "Save your strength."
"We will move on soon, won't we?"
"We have to. On my last perimeter check I caught a scrambled signal. They are getting closer."
She didn't respond but her face fell in despair.
He knew what she was thinking. "Yes. We need to find a more permanent solution before the baby is born. You still don't want any medical help around?"
She shook her head slowly. "That means we would be closer to civilization and we can't afford that risk."
He gently caressed her neck and worked his way down her back to ease the pain. "I want you safe. And I'm not sure if I can be such a good help when it… starts." James could feel her stiffening at those words. "But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Despite everything that had been done to her already, everything she herself had done, Natalia was still so young. And she was never trained for something like this. The horror was eating at her soul more and more. And soon it would break her if he couldn't stop it.
"I just hope the baby is fine." They had never dared to consult a doctor.
"It surely is. What else would you expect when the two of us are paired?" He whispered in her ear and went to his knees next to her, his hands cupping her swollen belly and feeling the movement within. "The baby is strong, a little fighter, just like their mother."
"If the child starts to kick any harder I swear my bones will break." She said and there was more truth than humor in her words.
As if to emphasize this statement the child stretched its limbs. James held her tightly as Natalia groaned in agony and doubled over. "Hush… It's okay." He grabbed her hand and tried to calm her. "Try to breathe. It will be alright. Hush…" He felt her relaxing slowly and sighed in relief. "Yes, just like that. Good girl." James held her for a few more moments before kissing her cheek and pulling away.
Her eyes seemed to look into the distance while the tears fell silently. It didn't happen often that she was overwhelmed by her feelings, but right now it was all just too much. Her thighs were suddenly wet and sticky. "I'm sorry," she whispered and her hand slipped between her legs as she blushed.
James sighed and got ready to clean her up when he noticed the dark stains on her trousers. "Natalia. You're bleeding."
"What?" She froze in shock but before panic might grip her once more, she calmed down. As if a switch in her mind had been flipped. Time seemed to slow as she forced herself upright. She was ready to fight, to run. Whatever order she got.
James stared at her. He knew her training would help them get through this. "You will now lie down and I will prepare everything."
"Prepare what?" She asked, not believing what was happening, trusting him to know everything. She let him lead her a few steps before her body suddenly convulsed in pain.
James stared at the puddle of fluid on the ground and tried to calm himself before he answered. "The birth, Natalia. And now breathe as I showed you. It will help with the pain." He gently stroked her lower back until the contraction had passed.
Natalia had a hard time following his commands, yet she did. And when the pain ebbed away she barely managed to contain the pitiful sob. "I can't do that. It's too early."
"We can't stop it anymore. Let's hope for the best." He knew even if their enhanced genetic material had actually been passed down to the child and even under the best circumstances the chances were small. If their calculations were correct she was merely seven months along and the child would need immediate medical attention which they could neither risk nor find this quickly.
As soon as the soldier had helped her onto the bed Natalia had gone quiet again. All of it felt so surreal as her body started the process of giving life while she herself was entirely oblivious to whatever would happen. She stared at the ceiling while James carefully pulled down her trousers and underwear.
With gentle hands he urged her to bend her knees and spread them. Before the chilly air could start cooling her down, he had draped a blanket over her legs. It bothered him that they couldn't get their hands on proper medical supply yet. So the makeshift tools had to do. Before doing anything else he risked a short glance between her legs. It wasn't bleeding that much anymore. He could only guess why. But the best case would be that the serum in her body had already repaired some of the damage. "I will now prepare a few things for the delivery. You need to stay calm and breathe. Don't be afraid. That is an order." He added.
The minutes passed and Natalia's sobbing quieted down as she tried to breathe in through her nose and exhale through her mouth slowly. She bit on her lips to stop herself from crying as the pain came again.
James had just finished filling a bowl of water while he heated another one on the stove. The pile of ragged clothes he had gathered up were no proper towels, but better than nothing. The pocketwatch was positioned on the table next to the bed so he could read the time easily. With a grimace he looked at the tools he had sterilized in the fire. A knife to cut the cord and hopefully nothing else, strong alcohol to clean his hands, something that would serve as a diaper and cloth that he could wrap the child in. While his eyes glanced over the collection once more, he heard her groan in agony as another contraction started. He grabbed the hand she was helplessly stretching towards him while his eyes looked at the watch. Twelve minutes apart. James waited until the pain passed before he let go of her hand. "I will clean you up now and try to get a better look, alright? Just relax."
Natalia nodded and tried not to squirm away when she felt the wet cloth between her thighs. She heard him washing it in the bowl while she kept her eyes shut, too afraid to look as the bloody water. Nothing could have ever prepared her for this. Exposed, vulnerable and at the mercy of whatever fate might bring. At the beginning, when she and James had escaped, everything was still filled with hope, fascination and warm feelings they both had for the life inside of her. Now it all turned into the nightmare she feared so much.
After washing his hands as best as he could he took the bottle of vodka and opened it. Meanwhile his eyes scanned over Natalia's shaking form. She was terrified... yet still brave, considering the circumstances. He held the bottle out to her. "Drink. It will help with the pain."
She opened her eyes and looked at the bottle before accepting it. Natalia sniffed it and made a face before taking one big swallow. She coughed, the burning unfamiliar, but then the warmth spread across her limbs and made her sigh. The woman handed him the bottle before she settled on the bed as comfortably as she could.
James analyzed her movements and saw how she relaxed. "Good." He took a sip himself to calm his own nerves before disinfecting his hands with a couple of drops. "Now relax for me. I'll try to be gentle."
Natalia gave her best to follow his order but as soon as she felt his fingers entering her she panicked and tensed up. "What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to feel for the child." There was not much he could do to check for its position without equipment or medical knowledge. He carefully slipped two fingers into her, not forcing anything, waiting for her to open and to relax. Just like the times he had been intimate with her. He didn't want her to fear this even more than she already did. He knew that giving life could also be a wonderful happening, painful yet still amazing and astonishing. So he tried to be her anchor, and also her commander. This mixture of gentleness and demanding order would help her get through this. The tips of his fingers tried to feel for something. He was not sure what he felt.
After half a minute he pulled back, cleaning his hand. Natalia looked at him hopefully. "So? What… is going on?"
He bit his lip. "I'm not a doctor, but as far as I can tell your water has broken and you are having contractions. From now on it's just a waiting game."
"How long?" Natalia's voice trembled. Her rational mind told her that women have went through his for ages but right now, feeling it… She wasn't so sure of her own strength anymore. The training in the Red Room had also included withstanding torture but somehow… with her hormones raging and primal instincts winning the upper hand… This was different and she felt unprepared.
"I can't be certain. Maybe our daughter will be here at midnight."
Ten hours. She could make that work. "Okay. Is there any way to speed it up?"
He couldn't help but chuckle. "Wanna fast-track the delivery, eh? I heard that movement helps. Once I can be sure the bleeding has stopped and you are steady enough, we can walk up and down the room. Gravity will help us in bringing the baby down. And I promise you, once I can feel the head with my fingers, it won't be long." He saw her nodding in bravery, yet he had to tell her. "It will hurt, especially once the baby starts to crown."
"I can manage." I hope. "So, walking to get things moving, and then there's the pushing."
To his ears she sounded like she was planning a mission, which was good. It kept her focused on the goal and not the doubts. "Yes."
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
Black Widow's are not made to be mothers. That was the mantra inside her mind she tried to shut out. But it got more difficult with every hour that passed. James was there for her. Holding the girl when the pain shook her young body to the core.
A while ago he had decided to settle behind her, comforting her in his embrace, but it was time… "Natalia… you're ready?" One hand was stroking away the sweaty strands of her hair and the other was crushed by her own as she held him in a claw-like grip.
She choked on her own tears that streamed down her face. "Yes…"
Carefully he untangled himself to move between her legs again. "You're almost done. Just a little." He wasn't lying. At last, after over a day the head was finally crowning.
"It hurts." She gasped between the screams.
"Concentrate now. In a few minutes you'll hold our baby in your arms." He reminded her and that seemed to get her going again. "Push. Good. My good girl…"
Natalia didn't believe how it could be possible to even feel the soft caresses of his hands while her body was torn up in pain.
He could see how she tore the sheets apart with her nails as she rose up again, bearing down with all her might. James' hands, now stained with her blood again, were ready to guide the baby's body. "Almost." A second later he held the tiny head gently in his huge palm. "Okay, now take one last deep breath and push one more time."
She gasped and grit her teeth before bearing down again. It felt like her body was tearing apart but then the pressure was suddenly gone and she fell back into the sheets with a relieved sigh.
While Natalia tried to regain her breath she realized what she had accomplished, what just happened. It was over. Her baby was here.
Meanwhile James stared at the blood pooling from between her legs while he held the motionless baby in his palms. "No, god damnit. Live!"
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
When she finally awoke Natalia was sure she had never slept this long in her entire life. But the whining noises of baby close by made her instincts kick in. "She needs food, doesn't she?"
James' eyes lit up as he saw her awake and with that content smile of a mother who had achieved the most amazing thing. Giving life. "Yeah, let me help you." He sat on the bed next to her, gently placing the baby in her arms. "She knows you." He noticed when the baby stretched out the tiny palms, grasping her mother's red locks.
It was easier than she had expected. The baby was at her breast, sucking contently, only a few moments later. "She's so tiny. But alive. Thanks to your genes."
A part of him hated what HYDRA had done to his body, but right now, he was glad. "Preterm, but healthy and happy."
"Frankly, I thought that this would have been the end of her, and me." There were so many things rushing through her mind right now. But none were as strong as how glad she felt.
"But you made it, as did Rose."
"Yes, our little flower, able to bloom even in winter…"
~.~ ~.~ ~.~
I hope this happy ending warmed your heart. In Bloodline I'll follow the plotline of the comic in which Natalia is hunted down and has a stillborn baby.
I already featured the lullaby in my Bloodline story. Now those who read the story know where Natasha's foggy (erased) memory of it came from.
Please review ^^ Also give me any prompt ideas you have.
And by the way. This picture of me cosplaying the comic is on devart, fb, tw, tumblr, insta, whatever ^^