Disclaimer: I do not make any money off this.
Hello,
I didn't mean to write this huge one-shot, but I could not get this idea of my head. Kept popping up as I was working on my other stories, and the only way to get rid of it was to write. It demanded it... so sorry for my readers of stories. It wouldn't leave me alone. This bad boy took me over a month to write and proof.
This One Shot was inspired by one of my other stories: Malfunctioning Time and a review that one of my readers left me. We had a discussion about how Malfunctioning Time could have been better- not perfect. Granted, I will never say that my work is perfect. It will always need work. The question was then posed: What would happen if Toni time traveled to WW2 after learning that Bucky killed her parents? Would she be able to get over her hatred of him?
So after thinking about that, this story was born. This story could have been a huge fanfiction like Malfunctioning Time- as hate does not turn into love in a short story. It needs to be grown and built, but I wanted to keep it short- granted 19,355 words isn't short. I just can't take on another full blown story, buy I needed to get this out. So here you go.
Warning: Curse words but no fight or sex scenes. This is also an gender-bend. Female Toni. So if you don't care for that, don't read. :P Also, this is a Bucky/Toni one shot. It is also post Civil War, which I hated PS... Really hated that movie.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it. Let me know in reviews.
The Shields are Down, Captain
Toni has faced and experienced a lot in her life and most of those things would and will send people running to the hills. In fact, it's surprising that she isn't cold-hearted yet, though there're a few people who will call her that: a cold-hearted bitch, who only cares about herself…It's possible that they're correct, considering how she responds to things. She can admit that, jokingly that is. Can facetiously admit that she acts without caring. Can admit that she is emotionless with a joke at the end. She can be serious at times. She can, but most of the time, she doesn't want to. She has faced enough in her life that it has drained her, hardened her. Can't be hurt if you don't care, right?
And it works, as it keeps her from being surprised. It keeps her from being hurt as she never expects anything, never waiting for something to come that'll never come. She never gets her hopes up, which keeps her emotions in check, even if people think her a cold-hearted bitch that hates everyone. Okay, she might feel that way about certain people as some are idiots. However, that isn't the case as it is just a barrier that she throws up to protect herself, to protect her heart—though, isn't that worse?
However, Toni doesn't believe that. To her, losing love is worse, which is why she created shields that not even Rhodey or Pepper can get through at times. It's also the reason why Rogers and her never worked out, as he couldn't make it through her shields. But that could be because he's a liar who'll never put her first or put any effort into their 'relationship.' Just a fucking liar who needs to rot in hell. He made it clear who's first in his life and it isn't her, which she can deal with that. She doesn't need him, not when he can't spare her a second of his time, and she can show everyone that as long as she keeps her shields up.
However, her shields can do nothing for her now. In fact, they are shattered, destroyed at the mere sight of him, and no matter what she is does to prepare herself, she can't protect her heart from breaking into a million pieces. Nothing is working. It feels like she's in a Star Trek episode where the Enterprise's shields aren't operational—which is like every episode but that's a thought for another time. Right now, she's getting blasted by phasers hit, and it feels like she's being ripped apart. It also feels like someone has kicked her legs out from underneath her. "He's good." She says, taking a step back in a dramatic fashion.
"Are you ready?" T'Challa asks, his voice smooth like chocolate.
Toni glances at the now King of Wakanda, eyeing his shoulders for a second before looking at his face. There's no denying T'Challa is attractive, but even if he's ugly, he would still be gorgeous, fangirl gorgeous. His confidence is breath-taking and it makes Toni a little jealous…Okay, a lot jealous, but she isn't going to show it. However, it's probably obvious since she can't even look at James Buchanan Barnes. No, it isn't for him killing her parents. It's for a different reason. A more heartbreaking reason.
"Are you sure you fixed me?" Barnes asks, his voice shaky. His hands are trembling at his side. His face is a ghostly pale, looking like he's ready to pass out. "I don't feel any different." His Brooklyn accent gets deeper with each second.
Toni can see his nerves getting the better of him, even without really looking at him, and that's getting to her. Feeling like she is in over her head, it's like a shot to the gut to see him like that. It's like a cut to her confidence, not that she has much at the moment. Though no one can make her feel like her father did, there're times that she flashes back to that little girl who couldn't do anything right, and she feels completely worthless. Right now, seeing Barnes like this is doing the same thing; it's hard to see someone so strong so broken.
It's probably a good thing that Rogers isn't here as his nerves would be just as bad or worse, and he'll hovering like the mother hen that he is. Granted, it's better that he isn't here for another reason, as Toni wants to punch his lights out and then hit him again. No matter what that man says, she will never forgive or forget what Steve Rogers did, even if he's on his knees begging—not that he'll ever do that. One, he's too proud. Two, he's too busy worrying about his best friend to care if he screws the rest of the world. The fucker. He can go fall off a cliff but he'll probably survive that.
"Sergeant Barnes, I can promise you that the best minds in Wakanda and Miss Stark have found a solution, and you'll no longer be triggered by the Winter Soldier's activation code." T'Challa replies, his eyes locking on him.
"I would feel better if Steve was here," Barnes adds, "in case it doesn't." He really does look like a kicked puppy.
However, if Steve's here, she isn't. That's one of the requirements that she has when she told T'Challa she would help. She doesn't want to see Rogers, and she refuses to help if she sees him. That Fucker lied to her. Barnes has a reason, but Rogers doesn't. This is the reason why she turned down the chance to help Barnes at first, and she called Rogers every name in the book when he called her on that stupid old ass phone he sent her. "Don't worry Bucky Bear. If something happens, Sylvester here will stop you," Toni winks, as she places a hand on T'Challa's bicep and squeezes. "Look at this arm." She ignores the looks in the room while she squeezes again. T'Challa's body guard or whoever that black woman is next to him is glaring at Toni hard core, but she doesn't let it get to her.
"We felt it best that Captain Rogers not be here for this." The Now King says, not singling out Toni.
The change in Barnes' face is small, but it's visible. Plus, his right eye twitches slightly. "He doesn't know you woke me, does he?" he asks, unable to mask his suspicion.
"No."
At that, Barnes turns to Toni and stares at her, a cold stare. "I take it that this is your doing."
Toni, who has never been this silent in her life, looks over Barnes' head, trying her best to ignore looking in his eyes and seeing the ice-cold stare. Granted, she can't ignore his face completely as she wants to look in his eyes—even if she knows it'll only cause pain. Staring into his eyes and seeing the confusion and lack recognition is a shot to her heart, breaking it into tiny pieces. She knows Hydra fucked with his mind, destroying his memories, and taking what made him Bucky Barnes Bucky Barnes…Yes, she knows this, but seeing it is another story. Being a stranger is his eyes hurt more than she expects. It hurts more than the fight with the Super Soldiers in Siberia.
When she doesn't answer, Barnes adds, "Why are you even doing this? I k-killed your parents. I thought you hated me, wanting me dead." There is a mixture skepticism and curiosity in his voice. There is something else as well.
Like a shy kid thrown into the spotlight, Toni can feel every eye on her, and she shivers in her boots as she tries to control her beating heart. That was before I loved you, she thought, though not voicing it. "I don't h-hate you." She answers, trying to pull on a strong voice though sounding like a child.
"And I can trust you?" His voice is hard.
Words flashes in her head: 'You can never trust a Stark.' It gives her pause for a second because there may be some truth to that. She doesn't want that to be true. It can't be true, not with her feelings. Yes, you can trust me, she yells in her head. Though it's a stupid phase, she wants to tell him that he can trust her to the moon and back, but she can't. She won't tell. That'll be unfair to him and she won't do that, even if her heart is breaking. Who cares about her? This is about him. "Well, does it really matter?" she asks, trying to portray that heartless bitch that people think she is. "Either way, would you be worse off?"
T'Challa glances at her for a second before looking to Barnes. "You can trust me, Barnes. I can assure you that you're safe."
There's paused as it seems like Barnes is at war with himself. "Fine. Let's get this over with."
The Now King doesn't waste a second before saying the activation words: "Longing, Rusted, Seventeen, Daybreak, …"
Like it's happening to her, Toni's heart skips a beat. The sweat is running down her face; however, she snaps back to reality as she spots the fear in Barnes. She wants nothing more than to comfort him, even though she's a stranger to him. No, she's just some idiot who tried to kill him over the murders of her parents. She's a nobody to him. She wonders if this is how Rogers feels, but it doesn't diminish her anger for him.
"…Furnace, Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Freight Car."
She watches James as he closes his eyes, squeezing as tight as he can, and waits for the Winter Soldier to take over. Everyone waits in fact, waiting for the worst to happen. It is the longest seconds of their lives, and she wants nothing more than to take Barnes into her arms. To protect him from the world… though for him, that includes her. That alone is a shot to the gut, and she just wants to cry, even if Starks don't cry. Stop, she yells at herself.
But how long is this supposed to take? Toni doesn't know how long it takes for him to turn into the monster, but she supposes that it should happen by now, right? Right? Oh, God. She hopes so, as she feels her heart coming back down. She can breathe again as she spots a happy grin forming on Bucky's face. It is like a Christmas as it lights up, and Toni feels like something has been righted in the world. On the other hand, it means it is time for her to go. She doesn't belong here with him.
With a deep sigh, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out two items: a thumb drive and a pair of red sun glasses. "Oh, it worked. Yay me. Who's genius?" She says, as she puts on the sunglasses like she's on TV commercial. "If that's all, I better get going," she announces, not wanting to stare at the man she loves any longer—not when he doesn't remember her. She has seen all those happy movies that show the heroine and hero ending up together, but this isn't a movie. There won't be a happy ending. She's a villain. Villains don't get happen endings. "This goes with that case," she adds, nodding to the large metal suitcase on the other side of the room.
"Miss Stark," T'Challa utters as she throws the flash drive at him. There's a look of surprise in his eyes as he catches it.
Toni doesn't stop as she turns- more like bolts- to the door, though there's an internal battle inside her head when she hears Barnes yet out a joyous cheer. It warms her insides, almost flipping the frown on her face-until she remembers that he doesn't remember anything…Doesn't remember her. Though, it isn't like she deserves happiness. She tried to kill him. With a deep sigh, she saunters to the door, completely ignoring the cheer in the room.
Besides, she has to get out of Wakanda before Rogers gets back from wherever he is with the Ninja Twins, Ant Boy, Red Psycho and Bird Sidekick. She doesn't know where Team Cap is, but she won't be here when they get back. No, she isn't running. She just doesn't need the Red Psycho messing with her head again or listen to anymore lies from Cap Asshat. "Don't go bedding every woman you see now, Bucky Bear. Cap might get jealous." She does look back for a second as she waves goodbye, though not looking anyone in the eyes.
*O*O*
With the red sunglasses hiding her eyes, she leans back in the uncomfortable metal seat in the drafty aircraft, as she waits for some gorgeous Wakandan to take her home. As to protect their secrets, she hasn't been allowed to take her suit with her or to fly in herself. She had to be flown in by a Nameless (well, there might've been a name. She didn't pay attention) Wakandan at the pilot seat. It annoys her, because she could be home by now. She could be safe in her lab with unbreakable shields, but no, she stuck on this jet. Sure, she has no other choice if she wants to help Barnes, but she just wants to be in her lab.
Hearing two sets of footprints in the aircraft, Toni opens one eye slowly and watches the two men from the corner of her eye: a pilot and T'Challa. She's surprised to see the New King, especially when he has a kingdom to run. At first, she wonders if he's just saying his goodbyes as he's a gentleman, but as the door to the aircraft closes behind him, she knows he's coming for the ride. Though she doesn't know why he's doing so, she can guess why and already knows she doesn't want to talk. "What do I owe this honor?" she asks.
"Captain Rogers told me about the conversion—well, I wouldn't call it as such- that he had with you. I heard you told him to 'go fuck himself with a rusty tire iron.' So why did you help now?" he asks, giving her a look.
With a deep sigh—even if Toni likes the line-, Toni picks her up head, leans forward, and turns to the pilot, eyeing him. He's in his final stages for takeoff, and knowing the flight time, she knows she won't be able to dodge the question. Plus, he doesn't seem like the type to give up, but can she tell him the truth? "Because Brainwashing is stupid."
"And Barnes' new arm?" he asks, eyeing her from the corner of his eyes.
"What?" she replies, shrugging. There is a strange tone in her voice. "I felt bad for destroying the other one."
T'Challa turns to her as the pilot finishes preflight. "You love him." He says, firmly. No hesitation in his voice.
In a single heartbeat, Toni turns to him, her eyes widened. As her shields are completely down, there's no hiding the fear and shock on her face at hearing those words. There's no hiding behind a mask and she's completely unprotected, seconds away from being blow up by a phaster blast. "What?" she utters, trying to portray indifference. "I-I don't know what you're talking about. M-Me? In love with my parents' killer? Are you crazy?" she tries to chuckle but it dies in her throat. "Plus, love is for the birds."
"It was quite a surprise to see, quite an extreme. Going from hating the man to loving him. I didn't expect that." He gives her look. "How did that come about? I don't believe there were many opportunities for a one on one with Barnes. I'm quite curious."
"I don't love him," she protests, louder than she intends. Her hands ball at her side.
As the craft lifts off the ground, T'Challa turns to her. "I saw it in your eyes. I'm sure no one else has noticed, but I see the pain in your eyes. I see how much it hurts when he looks at you and doesn't remember, even if you try to hide it."
Why it matters? "Why do you care?" They aren't friends in any sense of the word. They were just a means to an end; now, he has made it clear who's side he is on…It isn't hers. Why is everyone Team Cap by the way? Is he giving out cookies or something? He must be, which isn't fair. Jackass. She just wants accountability. Is that wrong?
"Why didn't you stay?"
The Aircraft is high in the sky, and from her seat in the back, she can see the blue skies. "I know you're trying to protect your country, but I so would be home by now if you let me fly. Slow bird."
T'Challa lets out a soft chuckle. "Captain Rogers is right about you."
His name only pisses Toni off, but she supposes anger is better anyways. Instead of seeing the lack recognition in Barnes' eyes, she sees Rogers bringing the shield down on her chest as he turns his back on her. "He knows shit, and you shouldn't listen to him. He's a liar." No, she does not sound like a child.
"Are you afraid of seeing your former suitor, former teammates or being around Barnes?" he asks, not letting up.
For some reason, the word 'suitor' feels creepy. "One, I wouldn't call Rogers my anything. Maybe, a boy toy. Two, the Ant Boy isn't a former teammate. He's just an idiot who blindly follows another idiot," she replies, staring at the Now King. "And three, Barnes is a nobody to me. Just a shell, really. Why does any of this matter?"
"Because you are hurting?"
"Not saying that I am," she starts, protesting. "but does that matter? And again, why do you care?"
"Because I do care."
Do you think she'll end up in jail if she says the funny insult on the tip of her tongue to the King? Because, it's a good one, and she's dying to say it. She wants to say it aloud as she's tired of everyone trying to get her to open up, especially when she doesn't want to. And what's the point? Does he want her in tears? "Fine. But just because this is a long flight, and your whining is annoying," she replies. "I'll be your inflight entertainment for today. So, you better listen up, because you can't rewind." She waits for a second as if she expects him to say something, but he doesn't.
She takes a deep breath, her eyes narrowing on the pilot for a second. She observes him, wondering if the man can hear her. "Do you believe in time travel, T'Challa? I didn't think it was possible, but now, I know it's. Still don't know how it, but I'll find out…or maybe, I shouldn't. I never asked myself before if I should. Should I? Or just let it go?" She pauses for a second before adding, "But I am asking now." She doesn't know why she's telling him this so easily, though it does feel nice to finally gets this off her chest.
"Okay, let's not talk about ethics as I'm not the one who should be asking that." She pauses for a second as she thinks about James. Of the coldness in his eyes. Of the lack of recognition. That's worse than she ever expects, and she expects it to be bad. She thought she had prepared herself, but her shields were nothing. Are nothing. "I still don't know how it happened, and there's still a part of me that wonders if it was a dream."
Toni takes another deep breath. "It all started when I was working on this new device and it exploded on me."
*O*O*
Toni groaned, loudly and painfully, as she found herself face down in some mud—or was it dirty snow? With the shock to her system, it felt like a combination of the two, and it covered her from head to toe, soaking through everything and covering her body. It was in her underwear—her granny panties, she wasn't trying to empress anyone- and it was frozen to her. It was like she had ice in her pants. It was like she was covered in an ice-cold milk shake, and it was spoiled. To make matters worse, she wasn't prepared for this freezing weather.
Having one of her moments, Toni had locked herself in her lab on the Avengers Compound, refusing to leave. Before she found herself in this mud pit of snow, she was in one of her anti-people moods, blaming herself for everything that had gone wrong. Her failed relationship with Rogers—if she could call it that—and Rhodey's legs weighted heavily on her. She kept seeing him falling to his death, and though he didn't die, she kept dreaming it. Kept seeing it in her dreams. As she couldn't rest, she locked herself in the lab, wearing only a pair of leggings, a sport bra, and a long sleeve shirt…Well, there was a smart watch, but that didn't provide much of anything.
With no shoes, socks or jacket, she had nothing to protect herself from the freezing cold weather, which was nipping at her. However, being caked in ice mud wasn't helping either, and she could barely feel her toes. Granted, her whole mind was in shambles, and it was hard to focus on anything. She wasn't sure if it was because of the explosion in her lab, but it felt like she was reaching for something just outside her reach. It was an itch she couldn't scratch. However, she could make out a few things, like a shiver taking over her body and the never-ending snow fall. It didn't make it colder, but it didn't help either as the muddy snow kept growing around her, almost like it was eating her. If she didn't move soon, she would be dead in the matter of hours. However, moving was harder said than done as her body didn't want to move, didn't want to listen to commands. It felt foreign to her. It felt-
"Holy shit!" There was a pause for a second before the man added, "Crap."
That snapped Toni's mind into focus, though it didn't last long for the guilt-ridden genius. Lasting only a few seconds, long enough for Toni to register the feel of someone's hands on her before blacking out due to the cold and pain.
*O*O*
When Toni came through, she was wrapped tightly in a wool blanket in front of a blazing fire. Without having to look, she knew she was naked under the blanket as she felt the urge to scratch her entire body. Even though it was warm, she hated wool; however, she only stayed on that thought for a second. She went to panic mood for a second as she realized that she was naked—well besides for her bra and panty but still- under the blanket. In her head, she started to curse every god there was because some removed her cloths. Her cloths! Sure, her wet clothes were hanging by the fire, but she still wanted to punch their lights out, though she should appreciate that someone saved her.
Trying to curb her anger and annoyance, the genius looked around to figure out where she was. At first, she thought Vision or Rhodey found her, but they weren't stupid enough to undress her. Plus, the fire was her first clue that she wasn't in New York. The Avenger's compound did not have fireplaces like this, especially not a stone one seconds from falling apart. However, her mind couldn't make out where else she could be, unless her device killed her and she was in heaven—not this would be her heaven or she would even go to heaven. It felt more like hell, which was where she thought she belongs. Spending eternal freezing to death in a run-down cabin.
She was in a rather tiny cabin that had seen better days, and it was a miracle that it was still standing. The one room cabin, though stable at the moment, looked second from a cave in, as there were entire sections of walls covered in mold. It looked like the mold was eating the wall, causing pieces to crumb. On another wall, water ran down, destroying the stability of the wall. Two of the three windows were broken, and two large blankets messily placed over the broken windows in a hurry as the blankets barely blocked out the heavy breeze, which was one reason why Toni didn't want to move from the fire—the only heat source.
"What a dump," she muttered, as she glared at the broken furniture. There wasn't one piece that wasn't broken, making Toni wonder how long this cabin had been abandoned. Well, the dead spiders made her wonder too…and the half frozen dead rat roiling in the corner. Holding back her puke, Toni forced herself back to the situation at hand. She needed to figure out how to get home, but glancing at the remaining window, she knew it wasn't going to be any time soon. She wasn't a weather genius in any way, but the snow was coming down. This worn-down cabin was her only shelter. Plus, she d-
The door to the cabin flew open, revealing a snow-covered man—judge by his heavy build— in a heavy jacket. With hood covering his head and snow sticking to his coat, it was difficult to make out his face, especially with the logs he was carrying. Impressed by the number of logs he was carrying at once, Toni just watched – thinking about how hot his arms were—and she held back her sad sigh as he turned slightly left and dropped the logs. Ignoring the loud crack of the floor, he kicked the warp door shut as his hands went to his hood, pulling it back.
"Oh, you're awake. I was worried as this weather is deadly."
With the arm fantasy vanishing, Toni's mouth dropped, but it wasn't the Brooklyn Accent that got her. It was something else. Even though his hair was short and his face thick, she recognized the man on sight. This was the man who killed her parents. Killed her mother, a woman who shielded her from her father. Who protected her. Anger rose up inside of her as she stared at James Barnes. "Oh, hell no!"
*O*O*
Toni just stared at Barnes for the longest time, glaring at him like he was the devil. She knew he noticed because he kept giving her weird looks as he poked the fire. She had scooted out of his way as she eyed him head to toe. Even though she was naked, it took her everything in her not to kill him—not that she could in their present state-, and it was becoming harder and harder as her mother's last breath flashes in her mind's eye. However, his appearance stopped her cold in her tracks. Sure, he could've cut his hair, but this was buzz cut short. Military short, and it was striking, show casing his cheek bones. His beautiful cheek bones—No, they weren't! Locking her jaw, she just stared at him, remembering the Howling Commando photo that she had seen on her father's desk.
In fact, he looked exactly like he did in that picture, down to the uniform. At first, she didn't notice it until he took off his jacket to line the bottom of the door. Her mind frozen for a second, her glare falling from her face, as she stared at his uniform. With her gears turning, she pandered as to why he would be wearing a WW2 uniform. Like what the hell? What purpose would it be? Yes, this was a trap, but why? What did he hope to get out of it? There had to be other ways to trick her instead of this.
But it was his left arm that broke Toni's brain as she destroyed it in their last fight. However, it wasn't as much as it was there, but rather, it was the fact that it was flesh and bone. That wasn't a trick because she felt the warmness in his touch as he checked her fingers and toes for frost bite. His hands were coarse. There were clearly warrior hands, and those hands weren't something you created in a lab—unless you were the creator. Her hands were rough themselves from all the hours in the lab. So-
"Can I ask what did I do to piss you off?" he asked, as he scooted from her, though only a foot. He kept close to the fire and, default, Toni, as the shabby cabin couldn't keep out everything- not with the snowstorm hammering the it-, and nothing could block out the breeze completely.
There were so many reasons for her hatred. It would take too long to list. "You undressed me," she replied, plainly, her glare returning. "And you didn't buy me dinner first." There was a battle in her head as she tried to figure out who this man was. Was this the Winter Soldier? Or dare she say it? Did she time travel? After everything, she knew it wasn't outside realm of possibility. Hello, Thor. But if that was true, how the hell did it happen? Did she create time travel? Was she a genius? Well, more so.
"Feisty. I hadn't met a lot of Dames like you," he replied, his Brooklyn accent heavy, as he gave her a once over. "And it isn't anything that I hadn't seen before."
Toni's eye brow rose as she took in Barnes. This man seemed to be completely different from the man Rogers was protecting in the future. Granted, she never really had any conversions with him before, and she did try to kill him the last time she saw him. She was surprised she wasn't trying to kill him now, not that her naked self was much of a threat. "Someone sounds full of himself."
Barnes chuckled, while giving her a look. "I doubt I'm the only one like that in this room."
Naked or not, why didn't she kill this man right now? Would it not save a lot of people? The Winter Soldier had been rumored to have killed hundreds, and she could save those people. However, he was also an Howling Commando, and the Howling Commandos had saved hundreds. Would it be right to kill him? Wait, when did she start believing in time travel? "And where is this place?" she asked, her tone sharp as an axe. "A place where no one can hear me scream?"
"Geez, no," he said, a smile still plastered to his face. "You're crazy, aren't you?" He glanced at the fire, watching the flames as it danced.
"You wouldn't be the first person to tell me that," she replied. "So, why are we in this hell hole?" This Barnes may not be the Barnes from her time, may not be the man who killed her parents, but it was hard to look at him. It was still his face. He may be innocent now, but he wouldn't be in the future if she indeed had time travel.
"We're lucky I found this place. Without it, we would be dead," he replied, his eyes glued on her. "You were half dead—half frozen-, wearing gods knows what," he added, pointing to her clothes hanging in front of the fire, "You wouldn't have lasted long in a blizzard like this." He nodded to the window.
Toni glanced at the foggy window, and even if the visibility was bad, she could see the whiteout outside. She could hear the branches slam against the cabin. "What? A soldier like you can't survive that? Geez." she teased. "And never mock leggings. They are a girl's best friend. Makes my ass looks good, not that it doesn't already look amazing."
Barnes, grabbing a spare blanket—holey but still—next to the fire and wrapping himself in it, gave her a look. "I don't think any proper lady would be caught in those…Or talk like that."
Toni could laugh at his tone and face. "Who said I was proper?"
Unable to stop himself, his laugher rang throughout the small cabin—No, she wouldn't admit he had a nice laugh. "You would kill Stevie. There is no doubt about that. I think he will have a heart attack."
Toni gave him a look. "Stevie?" she asked, though knowing who exactly he was talking about. The Stupid fucker, she thought. She hoped he got fleas or bedbugs.
"My best bud, knew him since we're kids. No one I trust more." Barnes added. "We're serving together as well. We a-"
"Until the end of the line," Toni interrupted, remembering the phase Rogers used whenever he justified lying to her about Barnes. She hated it. And she hated him.
Barnes gave her a hard look, distrust forming in his eyes. "Yea, he and my team are probably worried about me, making bets of long I'll last in this nightmare. They'd probably shit themselves if they saw me with a Dame like you."
"Yea, that was if you had a shot," she replied. "And I am not a dame."
"Ah, shot down." He smiled. "Does it count if you're a spitfire?"
"It counts as double!"
Barnes had this spunk about him that no one could deny or smoke out, even her. He was a cocky son of a bitch, though the same could be said about her—but her mother was not a bitch. "You never answered my question. Where are we?"
He gave her a look as if she was the stupidest person on the planet. "We're in the middle of World War 2, and you ask where we are?" His eyes scan every inch of her, studying her with an intense. "How did you even get here? I can tell you're America, but how did you get here, especially without a pair of shoes?"
There were a few things that Toni could tell him, and that depended on what this was. Of what was really happening. If this was a dream, it didn't matter what she told him; however, she could tell him the truth. She really didn't know how she got here. She might as well tell him the truth. "I don't know how I got here. I just woke up in this place."
Barnes gave her a hard look. "You don't know how you got here?"
"No. I don't," she countered, harshly. She turned from him slightly as if to give him her back- the finger. She didn't know why she was so upset – well, besides the fact that he killed her parents—with him, but it sounded like he was accusing her of something. Was he like Rogers, accusing her of everything? Blaming her for rainy days? "How did you get here?" she asked with a cold tone, but he didn't respond. He didn't say anything. "Your team leave you?"
*O*O*
After their last conversion, Toni and Barnes didn't talked much, only glaring at each other whenever their eyes met. After an hour long staring contest, they turned and stared at the diming fire, waiting for the snow to stop. The fire, still strong, wasn't as large as before since they weren't feeding it often. Yes, it wasn't as warm, but they needed to save wood, as they didn't want to make a run for more wood. Judging by the amount of snow falling, it didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon, which was worrisome. No, it wasn't because Barnes, her parents' Killer, was next to her—though it didn't help. Her freezing to death, her main fear, kept playing in her head, and she couldn't get it to stop.
Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Toni closed her eyes as she tried to clear her mind and force back her fear. She wasn't one of those women who couldn't deal with bugs or dirt, but she couldn't handle the cold even with her clothes back on, not that they gave her much protection or protect her from insanity. This snow, this cabin, this place was getting to her, and there was an itch under her skin that she couldn't scratch. It was driving her up a wall, not that the wall could support her. She w—
"Are you okay?" Barnes interrupted, breaking the silence.
Turning ever so slowly to him, she glare. She didn't know what she wanted from him- besides hitting him with a baseball bat, but she supposed it didn't matter as he could do anything and piss her off. "I'm fine."
Barnes snorted. "Why don't I believe you?"
"Doesn't matter if you do."
He let out a heavy sigh. "I can't win with you, can I?"
"No."
Barnes let out a loud, echoing chuckle. "You're a handful, Doll Face," he replied, his Brooklyn accent heavy. "I don't think I ever had this much trouble with a dame before."
Toni's eye twitch. What was with Rogers and Barnes and the word 'Dame.' "Your first mistake is calling me a Dame. If I wasn't so cold, I would punch you."
"And my second?" The Future Winter Soldier asked, letting out another chuckle. He added. "You're something else."
The Genius's eye twitched as that was something you said when you had nothing nice to say. The asshole. And besides, she was awesome. There was no one as special and awesome as she was, and she would make sure he knew that. "Damn straight."
"I should've known you would say that." He shook his head as he asks, "So, are you going to tell me why you hate me?"
"No."
*O*O*
"Until the end of the Line."
"What?" Toni uttered, as she stared at Barnes from the corner of her eyes. Barnes, though he hadn't talked to her in the last hour or so, hadn't been exactly quiet. No, he wasn't talking to himself, well for the most part, but he was making odd sounds, like he was singing. Toni wasn't sure what exactly he was singing, but there was a soft, sweet tone to his voice. It was like he was singing a lullaby, and it sounded like he had sung it many times, like he sung it every night—to special someone. Too cute for a girlfriend. A child more likely. With what seemed like a lot of practice, his voice was soft and smoothing, and it almost put Toni asleep as it was so peaceful. It also made Toni's shields fall, which annoyed the genius. A murderer would never sing like that.
And he was always moving—from tapping his finger to doing pushups-, as he wasn't the type of guy to stay in one spot. The type to stay still, fidgeting whenever he didn't have anything to do. He had to keep his hands busy, much of what he was doing now. Bouncing on his toes like he drank ten cups of coffee as he waited for action. At the moment, he had a small piece of wood, carving it with his army issue knife. Toni watched as he worked that blade with grace. Even if she hadn't the met the future terminator, she would've been able to tell this about him within seconds of meeting him. Tell that he always had to be on the move or go stir crazy.
For a brief movement, she wondered how that kind of man was frozen for god knows how long and turned into a weapon—No, she wasn't letting him off the hook. She was just seeing him in a different light. Seriously, how could this man be brainwashed? It wasn't a question about his strength, but rather, how could someone like him be brainwashed? How did he not rebel against it at every turn? How did a man who could not stand still became a mindless killing machine? It didn't make sense…No! She wasn't feeling compassion for her parent's killer…But, she wasn't sure she could hate someone who was stripped of everything. Someone who was violated in every way.
"The phase you said earlier." He replied, his eyes on the piece of the wood. "That's something Steve and I say to each other, because no matter what, we'll always have the other's back, ready to die to protect for the other. Like-"
"Brothers," Toni interrupted as she stared down at her Stark Smart watch, which surprisingly Barnes didn't say anything about. "Or something like." She added, thinking about how close they were. However, it was the justification that Rogers used to lie to her. It was his justification for everything, so it made her blood boil.
His eyes flickered to her for a second, reading the bitterness in her voice. "Yes." He replied, before looking back at the piece of wood. "We met when we were kids, but it feels like we always knew each other."
Toni eyed him, wondering why he was telling her this, and she was sure he didn't know either. He might just need to fill the air with something, and she wasn't going to talk. "The brother you always wanted?"
"Well, I grew up with sisters. Annoying beasts but I still love them."
Her mind froze for a second, as she was struck with a thought. What happened to his sisters? Did they grow up and get marry? Have children? Were they still alive? Did future Barnes know about them? "Did they dress you up in make up? Dresses? I would love to see that. Pictures?"
"Oh, you would, wouldn't you?"
"Yes."
Barnes let out another chuckle. "You just want to watch the world burn."
"Who doesn't?"
He let out another laugh. "I feel sorry for the fella who falls in love with you."
"Wait, you aren't in love with me?" she asked, noticing how easy it was to joke with him. When did her anger for this man change? No, she was still angry, wanting justice for her parent's death, but was this man really the man that killed her parents? If the future Brainwashed man and the Soldier in front of her didn't have the same face, she wouldn't know they were the same person.
A smile appeared on his face. "Oh, Doll Face. I ain't that easy."
Toni left out a chuckle. "You would be lucky to be with me. Lucky." She said, stretching out the word.
"You have to make things difficult, don't you?"
*O*O*
"It's nice that you don't hate me anymore."
Toni let out a chuckle, as she glanced down into the closed the wool blanket, eyeing the Smart watch. The screen was dark, besides the weird symbol blinking the corner. Sure, she wouldn't get a signal here, but she didn't like being out in the open without any tech. The unusable watch kept her sane. "Who said that?" Like seriously. When did that happen?
Barnes' happy expression fell as he stared at her. "I don't believe you, unless you tell me what I did."
The genius wouldn't even know what to tell him, even if she wanted to tell him something. At first, she wanted to kill him. Stab him until he couldn't bleed anymore, but now, she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure what to do, because she wasn't sure what she was feeling. Was it fair to judge Barnes for crap he hadn't done yet? Stuff that he couldn't control? And she hated that. Hated that she didn't know what to feel or think. "Well, I'm not easy either," she teased, winking.
"Oh, don't I know that?"
"You better." What was going on?
*O*O*
Toni didn't know when it changed, but she didn't completely hate the man in front of her. Maybe, it was the fact that he made sure that she wasn't cold, checking on her every few minutes. It may be annoying as she was a grown ass adult, but he was a gentleman, even if he flirted and teased her, and she liked that. She liked that he was kind, even when she wasn't—But that could be said about a lot a people. She liked that he cared, even though he had no idea of who she was. How could anyone hate this man? He was a gentleman. A sweetheart.
Yes, she hated her parent's killers, wanting to kill them with her bare hands, but she wasn't sure anymore that James Barnes was that person. Yes, it was his hands that killed them, but it wasn't him, not really. He was a tool, a weapon that Hydra created and abused. Even if she was ashamed to admit it, it took a while for Toni to get here, but she was seeing it. Hearing it for the first time. Listening to James speak about saving Rogers from bullies and taking care of his sisters could make any girl weak at the knees—if Toni was like any other girl but she wasn't. "You're joking, right?" she asked.
Giving Toni the biggest smile ever, James got to his feet. "No, I would never," he teased, as he stepped to the window. With the heavy snow storm, it was difficult to judge the passing of time, but with the number of stories that Barnes had told, they had to had spent hours in here.
"For some reason, I don't know if I believed you," she replied. Even though she wouldn't tell him this, he had an amazing smile, which could rival Captain Asshole. It could light up the sky. Well, Sergeant Barnes could rival Rogers in every way, which annoyed the brunette. That was too much hotness in one group of friends, which was totally unfair. What about everyone else in this world? Did they never leave any for anyone else?
"Well, you don't have to Miss…" Barnes' expression fell as he picked up his supply bag, reaching for some military rations. "I didn't catch your last name."
"Who needs a last name?" she replied, not sure what to tell him. She supposed she could make one up, not like it matters…It wasn't like he would remember-he wouldn't remember anything. No, that wasn't true. He did remember some things. "Potts," she uttered, as she could feel the sadness bubble up inside her.
"Toni Potts, I like it," he uttered, smiling, as he pulled out two food bars. He tossed one to Toni, who just stared at it as it landed in front of her. "Hey, beggars can't be choosers." He added as he noticed the look in her eyes.
Toni eyed the bar, wondering how disgusting it would taste. "Want to bet?" she glared at it.
Before walking back to Toni, he grabbed a small log to throw on the fire. "Don't make bets when you know you're going to lose, Doll Face," Barnes replies as he tossed the log into the fire. He watched as the fires jumped at the addition before settling down. "You won't win against me."
"Oh, you hadn't seen anything yet."
*O*O*
As exhaustion was hitting her, Barnes suggested that they sleep, knowing it wouldn't do them any good if they tired themselves out. The body couldn't fight off the cold if it was drained. With heavy eyes, it was clear that they needed their rest, but Toni did not and would not agree to sleep on that nasty bed that James dragged in front of the fire place, before busting up the broken the bed frame to use for the fire wood. "You know where that has been?!" Toni yelled as she stood to stand. "There could be bugs in there."
He looked up at Toni, his eyes going up and down her body. She had the wool blanket pulled tightly around her, covering every part of her besides her head. With it dragging on the floor, her feet weren't visible, but she was wearing his spare sockets—something she complained about when he threw them at her. Hey, even his clean socks smelled. "I don't want to think about it, but it'll give us protection from the cold. Sleeping on the cold floor will get us sick."
"Us?" she uttered, surprise breaking into her voice.
There was the biggest smile on his face. "What? You'll be making some dames very jealous." He said, giving her a wink. It wasn't due to the fact that he would be sleeping next to a beautiful woman that made him smile, but rather, he loved messing with her, seeing her wince under his teasing. "Oh, you're so cute when you do that."
"Oh, don't make me hurt you."
"I like to see you try."
*O*O*
Toni hadn't slept with a lot people. No, she had sex with a fair amount of people, but she hadn't slept with many people, able to count on one hand. To her, it was more intimate then sex as you put in trust in the person lying next to you. You leave yourself open. "You better not try anything," she threatened, still feeling weird about this Bucky vs. Winter Soldier thing even if she wasn't sure he was her parent killer anymore.
"Don't worry, Doll Face. I don't have a dead wish," he said, as he laid down next to Toni. "You'll skin me alive if I even think about it." On their sides, Barnes scooted behind her, almost spooning her. "But, you never know. I might have to be careful of you" He said, as he pulled the wool blanket over them. "Probably take my innocence."
Glad he couldn't see her face, a deep blush formed on the genius' face, it into a big red cherry. Toni wasn't one to blush easily, and she definitely wasn't innocent in any way, shape or form, but man, he made he feel like a preteen falling for the High School Football star. "You're far from innocent. I don't know you, but I know that. It's the stuff of nightmares," she said, her eye focusing on the dance fire. This time travel made her doubt everything, which shook to her core. She was a Stark, and as a Stark, she had to know everything or else. However, she felt like she was ten feet behind while standing on quicksand, and she hated that. Even with these chats, she didn't know this man, not at all. But, he wasn't a killer, even if he had killed. "But you've nothing to worry about. I don't sleep with dirty man. Like when is the last time you took a shower?"
"Ouch." He replied, playing hurt as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer.
Toni didn't know if it was his body heat or just her, but it was suddenly very hot in there, almost too hot. However, it was comfortable—safe—in every other way, and she could feel herself start to drift.
*O*O*
Her scream woke them both up, as it pierced through the frigid air, but it was more than the scream that woke them. Toni was thrashing around, her fist flying. James was up before Toni could open her eyes, and she awoke to him hovering over her, his hand on her shoulder as he tried to wake her. There was a concerned look on his face, and it broke through her panic faster than anything else could ever have. She could feel her racing heart start to slow as she looked upon his face. She could feel her breathing return to normal as she grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly—something she never though would happen.
"Take a deep breath," came Barnes' steady breath. Though an order, it didn't sound like an order. It was more of a soft tone like a song. It was like he was singing to her. "Count with me."
Listening to the Sergeant, she counted back slowly, as she watched his mouth move. Even if she didn't completely trust his man. Even if she didn't know this man. Even if she had no idea of who this man really was, she was relaxed by him—calmed by him-, more so than with anyone else, which was saying something. There was something about him. Something different. He was one of the kind. A man who cared deeply because it was the right thing to do—screw the rules-and that made him special.
*O*O*
"So, what was that about?" James asked, eyeing the brunette. There was a bit of hesitation in his voice.
"Nothing," Toni answered, resting her forehead on her knees—well, blanket covered knee—with her arms wrapped around them. With her back to the fire, she was small, tiny. She was like a small ball. Her eyes glued to the window, staring at the large snowflakes as they melted on contact with the window. "Just a bad dream." It wasn't the first bad dream she ever had, and for damn sure, it would not be the last. She was haunted by her guilt every second of every day, and her dreams were where it hurt the most. It felt like someone stabbing at her.
Toni fought back the tears as she wished she could run. If she was in her time—still made her mind spin at the thought of it-, she would be running to her lab and locking herself in. She would refuse to come out, even if certain people threaten to break it down—or blast it down in Rhodes' case. In Vision's case, just go through it. However, she still wanted to hide in the lab and throw herself into her work. Technology was the only thing that calmed her when she was in her panic mood, but she had nothing but a malfunctioning smart watch.
"Want to talk about it?" his voice was soft and safe. Barnes sat at the corner of the mattress, placing a few feet between them. His hand rested on the old mattress, tapping his finger as if itching to do something. "Sometimes talking helps."
Toni didn't mean to, but she couldn't help herself, as she gave him a nasty look. She looked at him like he was the nightmare itself, which was unfair she knew, but these nightmares destroyed her, tearing at her. It felt like she was being ripped apart, forcing her on the defensive. She tried to put shields up and strengthening those shields with alcohol, but that just made everything worse. It made the dreams felt real, which made sleeping almost impossible. It was she was going to war each time she closed her eyes, which made her drink.
It felt like hell as she dreamt about her falling to her death in New York. About Rhodey falling to his death—that was a new nightmare, and that strung. However, seeing her mother's death repeatedly play in her head was quickly becoming the worst experience in her life. Sure, her father's death was just as horrible, but she had a connection with her mother. Mother- daughter relationships were things of legend, and it could win against anything that stood against it. She was her shield, and seeing mother's death, it felt like she was being hit in the face. "No." she said, and she couldn't help but hate Barnes again. It took everything to smash down her anger and not take it out on him. She knew it wasn't his fault.
Barnes took a deep breath as he eyeballed her. "The punk is the only one that knows this-"
"That you wear pink panties?" she asked, trying to force on a smile. Insults were her friend.
He gave her a look, as he continued, "I'm going to look past that, as your hand is shaking." The expression on his face was soft. "I was saying that Steve is the only one who knows this…." He paused for a second as he caught his breath. "I know how it feels to wake in a cold sweat and not remember where you are. I know how it is to relive your worst nightmare over and over again." He stopped again, as he closed his eyes.
Toni stared at him, watching as his discomfort turn. She could feel her heart flicker as she noticed his anxiety, which bubbled up an odd feeling inside of her. With her heart pounding in her chest, she didn't like this discomfort that she saw for some reason. "You?" she asked, his voice shaky. She didn't know why she was surprised. She knew the Liar had bad dreams, having been awaken by them a few times, but for some reason, she didn't think the Wint—No, it wasn't him. He was Sergeant Barnes, a Howling Commando and a hero, but it seemed like he had nights like everyone else. However, one main difference was that Barnes wanted to talk about it, while Rogers just pushed her away.
"I was taken hostage by the enemy…" He drifted off as a pained expression fell upon his face. "…And experimented on," he said softly, his voice cracking. He glanced at his hand on the wore mattress as he gripped it with all his might- tearing a hole in the fabric. "After days under their knives, I forgot what it was like to be human, to be myself."
Her nails digging into the palm of her hand, she thought back to the Winter Soldier, thinking about the torture he must have endured. And knowing Hydra, it wasn't a basket of fun. More like the basket of knives, which didn't sit well with her. Having been tortured herself, the idea that someone would suffer through it made her ill. "Why are you telling me this? Expect me to tell you my life story in return?" she asked, failing to stop her wild emotions from breaking through. "Not going to happen." She snapped, her nasty tone returning.
Barnes' face fell slightly. "I'm not doing this to get you to talk. This isn't a campfire," he replied, staring at the fire. "I'm telling you this because I want to." His voice shaky. "I'm telling you this because I believe it might help you and me."
Toni's voice was small. "Why do you care about me?" she asked, his eyes flickered to him. "I hate you."
"No, you don't." he countered with a small smile. "I can see that now." He paused again, eyeing her small form. "And I do care. I'm not sure why, but," he paused for a second, "I do." There was a caring look in his eyes.
"You're a fool." Her mind was spinning.
"Maybe, I am, but hey, that's who I am. It's who I want to be. The idiot who follows his Best Bud into battle without a care to what happens or batting an eye. I'm the person who loves my sisters with all of my heart, and I'll die to protect them without hesitation." He watched her, eyeing her every breath. "I'll die to protect my country and those who call it home. One of those people is you." He looked her straight in the eye, refusing to break eye contact.
Toni stared at Barnes, feeling something warm inside of her bubble. "You're perfect," she said, unable to stop herself. When the words came out of her mouth, her eyes widened as her face lit up into bright shades of red.
"No, I am not," he protested, softly but strongly. "If you let me talk, I would tell you that."
"Barnes."
He gave her weird face. "If I'm going to tell you my greatest fear, you can't call me Barnes. I feel like I'm talking to Colonel Phillips or something." There was a tone in his voice that Toni couldn't judge.
"Sorry."
He took a deep breath as he looked at her. "I'm sorry…" he uttered, pausing, as he closed his eyes. A distrust formed on his face. "It's just…" He opened his eyes as he sighed. "My biggest fear is that…I'm no longer James Barnes anymore, not after… Not when I'm a test subject, who'll turn on my friends. It just a matter of time." His voice creaked.
"Bucky," she uttered, feeling like her heart cracking. Knowing the future, it felt like a kick to the gut…well, 3 kicks. Could she let this go on without telling him? Could she left him be turned into a weapon?
He gave her a soft look, when he heard his nickname. "In my dream, someone says a spell of some kind and I turn into a killer. And I kill…" He paused, his voice cracking. "The idea that I could kill my…" He shakes his head. "I can't…If I could ever hurt them…Hurt Steve." He drifted into silence, as his eyes went to his hand.
With mixed emotions, Toni didn't know what to say to the man who would become the Winter Soldier and kill her parents. She wasn't sure how close he was to Howard, but they were friends in some sense…and he killed him. "They can't change who you are." She said, as she rolled out of her ball.
Bucky gave her a look and he looked destroyed. It was like someone had ran him over and tried to put the pieces back together. "I want to believe that, but they did things. Did crap. I don't even know if I'm human anymore."
Toni crawled over to Barnes with an aching heart, and not giving him a chance to reject her, she wrapped her arms around him and placed her head against his chest, over his heart. "I haven't known you long, but I know who you are. You aren't a killer." Everything finally came together for her, and it was like a light went off. It was then that she realized that every doubt, every negative though, was wrong. This broken man was not a killer. He was James Barnes, a hero.
Laying his cheek on Toni's head, Barnes put his arms around her and held her tight. "You may be Bonkers but you're a doll." He replied.
There was a comeback in the Toni's mouth, but she shoved it down as she buried her face in his chest. With warmness in her chest, she listened to heart, counting the seconds between each beat. "I'm just as broken as you are," she replied, knowing that she couldn't deny the truth. "I was held hostage and they did crap to me too." She paused, trying to ignore the ache in her heart. "All at the hands of my father's best friend and business friend. Assholes." She didn't remember much after that point as Barnes held her tightly, holding on to her for dare life.
*O*O*
Even if Toni refused to admit it, there were a few things that she was ashamed of, and there were moments where she regretted everything, which was happening now. However, that only lasted a second as her mind wandered back to the idea she had prior. There was a part of her that wondered if it was a bright idea, wondered if she would be destroying the timeline, but flashing back to Barnes' broken expression easier, she realized she didn't gave a rat's ass. For a second, she cared about her and him but not because she wanted or needed something from him, which was a weird sensation. No, she had done things for other people without wanting anything in return, but there was a motive for it. Now, she was thinking just about him. It was strange.
Plus, she was thinking about herself—truly herself—for once. She really hadn't thought about herself in a while, even though some people thought that was all she did. People, like the Cap Asshat, believed her to be a selfish bitch with no care or thought for anyone else, but that wasn't the case. Maybe, in the past, but not now. Now, she was the last thing on her mind as all she thought about was saving others, which got her in trouble. The idea of someone hurting and she doing nothing felt like a stab to the gut, and it ate at her. She couldn't sleep at night because the guilt was too great… And the nightmares.
And damn Captain Asshole and his mindlessly stupid minions. No matter what the idiots thought, they didn't know her. They didn't even know her show size, and they didn't even bother to find out, not that they wanted to. They just needed a villain and she was it for them. She was the devil itself. No, she wasn't saying she was innocent, because she wasn't, not any close. But to assume that you're perfect? Now, that was what made you dangerous…But hey, Captain America was prefect; however, that was a story for another time. Right now, Toni was focused on Barnes and his gentle but strong hands.
She had misjudged this man every single turn, every step, and she hated herself for it as he didn't deserve it. This man turned out to be an angel, even if he didn't think so. All he cared about was helping people, saving those he cared about without a care to what happen to hm. And what happened? He was turned into a weapon- his greatest fear—and was used to hurt those he loved. For that, Toni wanted to watch those fuckers burn and she wanted to be the one who lit the flame. She wanted to protect him from his future but she didn't know if she could do it…or if she should, though she really wanted to. And that did nothing for her guilt.
However, Barnes—Bucky wouldn't allow her to think that way, to hate herself. No, she didn't tell him everything, but she did tell him big chucks of her life, though not the good parts. She told him about her relationship with her mother and father. She told him about the many fights she had with her father and how she was never good enough for him. She told him about the fights that she caused between her father and her mother. She could feel herself shake as she told him about the time she ran away from home. Her father didn't care that she was gone. He was just mad at how it would make him look. She told about their deaths—the Car Accident story, not the murder part, and how the last words she told them were of hate. Tears flowed down her face as she wished she could take them back.
With no shield as a young child, she told him everyone just wanted to use her, to shape her into something they can use. She told him about how her father's supposed best friend, who tried to kill her so he could take everything that he thought he deserved. She told him, even after Obadiah's dead, how she failed everyone. Told him how everything she touched roiled. Told him how alone she felt. She left out anything about the Iron Man Suit and Avengers, not that she would believe her. However, he still understood, understand how much she hated herself. How much she failed.
He told her she was wrong and refused to listen to the nonsense. It came to the point that he ordered her to shut up. Hard core ordered, like he was her commanding officer. Of course, Toni being Toni, she had to fight him. She didn't take orders easily, and she fought on principle. She was sure Bucky knew this, because there was a smile on his face when she tackled him. It was like he enjoyed it, granted that could be for another reason. It could because he enjoyed the feeling of her body against him, and it didn't take long for him to smash his lips against hers—not that Toni objected. She knew she should, should not be playing this game with him, but it felt good. It felt really good. She felt normal.
With his hands exploring her body, it was hard to think, not that she would tell him no. Even knowing the future—a future that she hated-, she wanted this, wanted him for some reason. She didn't know what it was about Barnes that called her to him, but she was drawn to him. It was like she was a bee to honey. Maybe, it was because he didn't try to change her into someone that she wasn't, unlike other people. He looked at and saw her, and because of that, he had gotten through her shields.
Bucky pulled away for a slight second. "Are you sure, Doll Face?" There was a worried look in his eyes as if he was scared that he was going to hurt her. "I d-"
"Not a princess," she replied, her breathing heavy, as she pulled him down and pressed her lips against his.
He pulled back slightly, not that Toni would let him go far. "I know that."
"Good. Now, don't stop." She ordered, pulling them back down.
Barnes was a good boy. He didn't stop.
*O*O*
When Toni woke, the first thing she was greeted with was Barnes' white ass as he threw another log into the fire. She eyed his white ass as he kneed in front of the growing flames, which doubled in size with the additional log. Heat from the fire grew as he poked it, and even with the bright light of the flames, she couldn't look away. She eyed the way his muscles tighten and contracted, which was such a turn on. Even if his ass was as white as a baby's butt, it had such a nice shape to it that she just wanted to reach out and touch it.
Down, girl. She told her self. She was letting herself fall too fast, especially for a man she just met, and she knew she was, but she couldn't stop herself. It was like he had the codes to the Enterprise and she couldn't keep the ship functioning. Her shields were down in record time, and she didn't know what to do to get them back up. She didn't understand how her emotions could be so wacky that she didn't know what how to handle them, not that she was ever any good at it. "Look at that white ass," she teased. "My eyes. My eyes."
Letting out a chuckle, Bucky bent his knees slightly and went to town shaking his ass. His ass cheeks bounced up and down, look uncomfortable, but he didn't stop. "Well, never expected to show my cheeks to someone," he replied, snorting. "My ass doesn't get much sun fighting a war, ya know?"
"But it is a nice ass." She ginned at him.
Barnes let out another chuckle as he turned around to face the brunette, giving her a full-frontal view. "One, that heat feels nice on my white ass." He gave her the biggest smile. "And two, airing out feels awesome, but I'm glad you like the view."
Now, Toni was laughing. "Oh, someone is happy." Her eyes fell to his dick and she bit her lip to keep her horny comment down. Damn, was she a teenage girl?
His smirk grew as he stepped to her. "Maybe." He paused for a second with a big grin. "And a bit cold. So, move that hot ass over." He said, as he got down on his knees and pulled back the blanket, revealing an equally naked genius…Well besides her smart watch, which he still hadn't asked about.
"Fine, get your white ass down here," she ordered, wiggling her ass.
"Hey, now. I'm fighting a war here," he said, as he laid down next to her and pulled the covers up and over them. "Sorry that I didn't have time to tan. Didn't think I would meet a beautiful Dame in the middle of a snow storm." He wrapped arm around her waist and pulled her to him, pinning her against his chest. "Also, didn't think I would be having sex." He placed a kiss on her forehead as he slapped his ass. "Not with a wild Cat Dame like yourself."
"Well…"
James gave her a look, know what she was thinking. "Not saying that doesn't happen. Some of those men are horny as hell…No, don't want to think about it…" He drifted off as he shook his head. "But none of those smelly fellas are my cup of tea. Well, fellas in general." He gave her a hot look, a clear sign of the year. "I like a little curve." His mood changed as he let out a small laugh. "But you gotta get your mind out of the gutter, Miss Potts." She gave him a look. "I know what is in that little head of yours."
"I am not ashamed."
He snorted with a chuckle. "Oh, I can tell."
They were so close that she could kiss him, and she so wanted to, which drove her crazy. "Well, some might say I am a trap," she said. She knew if she was in his shoes, she wouldn't trust her—well she didn't trust herself now.
Barnes' eyes narrowed for a second, while his fingers traveled up her side to one of her scars. Finding a mark on her hip, he traced it with a little gentle touch, as if to put it to memory. "The thought has passed my mind. Can't lie," he replied, his expression lightened. "But just one look in your eyes an-"
"And pants?" she interrupted.
At that, he closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers. "And pants." He said in agreement. "Yup, a wonker."
"Hey!" she protested, pushing against his chest and rolling on top of him. "Take that back." James had the best smile that Toni had ever seen, and it stole the air from her lungs, making her weak at the knees. Seriously, how was that fair? She couldn't win against him. She wondered if he were to walk through central park, would he get woman pregnant just by looking at them with that smile.
"Make me."
"Barnes," she said, a playful tone in her voice. "Those are fighting words." There weren't many words said after that, as they went for another round with each fighting for control.
*O*O*
Unlike the last time, she wasn't greeted with the same sight when she awoke. She was the only in the cabin, making her wonder if she was abandoned—not that she would blame him. She did try to kill him in the future, blast him through the heart, granted he didn't know that. Future and stuff, but that was before. Before she knew who, this man was. And now, her heart was breaking as she was completely alone in this rotting cabin. With her heart beating against her rips, she was screwed as it felt like she was up a river without a paddle. Out in nowhere zone, her shields were down and she was getting shot with lasers. It felt like she was just letting herself have it. What the hell was wrong with her?
Not knowing where Barnes had gotten to, Toni got dress, ignoring the pain in her chest as she slipped on her sport bra. After pulling her leggings and shirts on, she wrapped herself in a heavy wool blanket, pulling it tight, as she stared at the dying fire. With a shiver down her spine, she just stared at the dimming flames for a second before tossing a log into the fire. Once more, it danced high into the air at the addition of the wood, and Toni just watched how it leapt. With her eyes on the dark shadows, her mind wandered as she wondered how the hell she was going to get home, not that it mattered. It wasn't like she had anything in the past or future, though she did not want to stay in the past.
Shaking her head, Toni turned her attention to her smart watch, which had been acting weird the entire time. 'No signal' was flashing in the corner, which made sense considering the time era that she was in. However, the background was flickering to white. "Whatever," Toni uttered as if it really mattered. Her smart watch wasn't going to get her home, though she was going to make a better Stark smart watch when she got home…if she got home. She needed to get home and she had to do it on her own, because Barnes wasn't going to help—not that she would let him. Changing the timeline would be a bad idea, even if she so wanted to.
What harm could it do? Yes, she knew that he was an Howling Commando, and he was a hero, who had done a great deal of things. Knowing the history of the Howling Commandos, she knew they have saved hundreds of people, and changing anything could change that. She had seen all those movies, granted they were just movies with faulty; however, she wasn't stupid. She knew time travel wasn't something you messed with. There was no telling how something would rip apart when you were messing with something as delicate. It-
The door to the old cabin violently swung open, sending snow flying into the cabin- almost like a white wave. It melted quickly from the heat of the fire place, leaving a nice large puddle on the ground. Barnes, paying no attention to the puddle, stepped through, even though water splashed up his pantlegs. With his eyes on Toni, he kicked the door closed behind him. "Oh, I see someone's dressed," he said as he pulled down his scarf to reveal a red face.
"Well, there was no one to keep me warm," she replied, as she looked Bucky over. He did look cold, but he wasn't covered in snow like the last time he had come in from outside. "Stop snowing?"
Still smiling, he replied, "Well, it's cold out there. Freezing my ass off, which you might be sad about. My pretty white ass, but it's safe for us to travel to the nearest town, just have to be careful about frost bite. Once we get to the village, I'll figure what to do. It wouldn't be too hard for me to track my team down. They couldn't have gone far, and I could probably just hear them yelling." He shook off his jacket, dropping it to the ground, as he kneed down next to Toni.
There was a such an intense look in his eyes that she could not look away. It held her in place. "Think they would wait for you?" she asked, knowing they would. There was no way in hell that Rogers would leave Bucky, even if the world was on fire… No, she was not bitter. Just annoyed that he would not do the same with her. She was no one's first.
There was a goofy smile on his face. "Like I said before, 'until the end of the line,'" he replied as he reached forward and pushed Toni's hair out of her face. "He wouldn't leave me, and I wouldn't leave him."
There were few insults on tongue, but she bit her tongue, not wanting to say it. Now was not the time for her anger. "Is there a town near bye?" she asked, deciding to change the subject.
"A mile or so, and it will take us a few hours on foot, but it is doable," he answered.
"Us?" She was unable to hide her surprise. Why would he care so much for a complete stranger?
Barnes gave her a look. "You think I'm going to leave you, Doll Face?" He waited a second, but when she didn't speak, he continued. "I'm not leaving you. No way in hell," he said as he cupped her face, rubbing her cheek with his finger. "Though if you don't have shoes, I don't know what you're going to do. I guess I can carry your pretty ass."
Toni didn't know how to respond to Bucky, because she didn't know what to say. Was what she supposed to? Hello, timelines! She couldn't do anything to mess those up. She doubted she would make a lasting impression on him. Yes, she was Toni Fucking Stark, but he didn't know it. Granted, she was good in bed…Shit, she should've been bad. "You better believe that my ass is cute." Jokes were her shields and she needed them.
Barnes was still smiling brightly. "I won't disagree with that."
Her smart watch blinked again, drawing Toni's attention. What was going on with this thing? Was it dying? Or was she really dreaming? "Oh, you'll just drop this ass and forget about me. I know how it is."
He gave her a hard look. "I'll never forget about you, Doll Face," he replied. "After this way, you won't be able to get rid of me. Not even war can keep me away." There was no doubt he was trying to be cheesy
At that, there were a hundred of things going through her head, not all of them nice. No, you won't, she said in her head. He wouldn't remember her at all, and she didn't know who was worst off. Him not remembering or her staring into a mindless stare and not finding any trace of this man. She knew he wouldn't considering she had seen the aftermath of what Hydra did to him. He didn't even remember the asshole Rogers. "You have to win the war first, Pretty Boy."
"Yup, my sisters will love you," he said as he got to his feet. For a second, there was a look of horror on his face. "…Maybe too much. Oh, the horror." This expression changed to joyous look as another though appeared in her head. "It's worth it." He didn't wait for a response as he looked around the shabby cabin for a pair of boots. "There has to be something for your feet in here."
With guilt growing inside her, she didn't know what to do. "What if you don't remember me?" she uttered, unable to stop herself. She spitted it out as her heart pounded against her chest.
Bucky stopped and turned around, almost as he could hear her beating heart. "I couldn't forget a Dame like you," he said with a wink. "I doubt you would let me. I foresee a punch to the face if I did so."
Damn, her shields! And damn, this man! Why did she have to open herself up this man? And why did he have to be a sweet heart punk? He killed her parents for crying out loud. He wasn't supposed to be this—No, that wasn't him, and she knew it, even if her brain was wrapped in cycles. "What if you don't remember me?" she asked again, a pain tone laced in her voice. Unable to stop herself, she flashed back to Barnes trying to rip the reactor from her suit.
The look on his face turned serious but it was also warmed. There was a protective but intense look in his eyes. "It could never happen, but if it did, then make me remember, because there's no way that I wouldn't want you in my life." With his eyes still glued on her. "Yes, I know how that sounds, but I don't care, and I don't care what you must do. Make me remember." He was giving her a hard look, refusing to let her break eye contact. It was like he was looking into her soul. "Because I want to remember. I want to remember that smirk that you get when you think you won. I want that cocky lip of yours. I want it all, even that Is cheesy as hell." He paused again. "Granted, I would never forget you."
Her Smart Watch blinked again, drawing Toni's attention for a brief second before turning back to him. She knew Bucky wasn't lying, as he bared out his soul. She had never met a man so open like he was being. "But why?"
He stepped back to Toni, drawing her into his arms with a gentle pull. His hands felt ruff against her skin, as he placed hand under her chin, tilting her head up to look in her eyes. Before she could say a word, he pressed his lips against hers. It wasn't along but powerful, as he tried to show her how he was feeling. "Do you need to ask?" he said, his breathing labored. "But if you need to know, it's because you're the one of the few people to make me feel like myself, and that's impressive in short amount of time. I don't have to pretend, and I need that." He paused again as he took a step back, staring in her eyes. "You make me feel human. Make me feel like I don't need to be prefect."
"James." Though she wasn't telling him the entire true—you know being from the future. Yes, still mind blowing-, she could say the same thing, which scared the shit out of her. How did he get pass her shields? Her defenses. But unlike him, she couldn't say that. Not now…maybe never, because she and emotions didn't get along. Starks didn't have emotions, not that she wanted to admit to them. That would mean someone could hurt her. Have control over her.
He looked at her for a few seconds before giving her another kiss. A long hot kiss this time, as she buried her hands into his shirt. After pulling away—not letting her go-, he took a deep breath, and with a bit of hesitation, he turned from her. "Maybe, there's something outside that I can use," he said, picking up his jacket and stepping from the door. His tone changed as if he was caught with his hands in a cookie jar. With a hand on the door, he paused, "It doesn't matter that I only knew you for a few days. It doesn't matter that I might be rushing into things, which Stevie will say. It doesn't matter that I'm throwing everything to wind, because nothing matters. What matters is that I want you and I want to spend the foreseeable future getting to know you. Yes, again, I know how that sounds, but man, I don't care." He turned slightly and smiled at her. There was such a strong look in his eyes that she could barely stand it.
"Yes, the way we met," he started, pausing for a second. "It was weird and a bit strange, but I feel like it happened for a reason. It felt like it was supposed. I was supposed to meet you. It feels right, so you better believe that I'll fight for that. You better believe that I'll come back for you. I'm not letting you go, even if I sound like one of those stupid radio shows. You know the ones. The ones the Dames listen to," he said, smiling. "And when this war is over, I gonna to show you Brooklyn, showing you my favorite places, Doll Face."
"Who said I am a New Yorker?" she asked, her voice a little shaky.
"I can tell," he replied, a grin filling up half his face. "Anyhow, I'll be right back, and if I forget you in that time, you better make me remember." He gave her wink as he opened the door and disappear out of it.
Toni didn't remember much after that as her smart Watch zapped her and started to blink again. This time, it was connecting which surprised her even with the pain.
*O*O*
"After my Smart Watch went haywire, the next thing that I remember was waking up in my lab," Toni says, watching T'Challa from the corner of her eyes. She isn't sure why she's telling him this. "At first, I thought it was just a dream until I noticed that I was wearing his sockets." His oversize ugly WW2 issued sockets, she thinks as her eyes falls to her shoes. "Well, the lab was a mess, but some say my lab is always a mess."
T'Challa scans her over, eyeing her face, as he stares at the dark shadows under her eyes. "Have you slept?"
"…No," she says, hesitating. She isn't sure why she answered. "It might've been a crazy dream. Probably drunk some spoiled milk in my coffee." Taking a deep breath, she pushes her sunglass up to cover her eyes. "But even if it was, it gave me a different view of Mr. Scatterbrain." She adds, trying to hide the pain in her tone.
The Now King doesn't reply right away, thinking about something. There's a heavy look on his face. "Why aren't you doing what he wishes?" he asks after a few long seconds. "He wants to remember. Do you not care for what he wants?"
Toni has accepted that she did in fact time travel, even if her brain keeps trying to work out how, but that doesn't mean she should act on it. With everything up the air—including her feeling about Rogers-, it won't be good for anyone. Plus, it's possible that he might never remember, think she's just his would-be killer for the rest of their lives. If that happens, it would do no one any good, and there's no doubt that it'll eat them both up. Him for not remember—he has enough of that with Rogers-, and feeling like shit. And her, expecting something that he can't provide. Without even meaning to, she'll put expectations on him, which isn't healthy. He shouldn't have to deal with it, because it'll do more harm than good. She refuses to let that happen. "Daddy, are we home yet? How much longer until I can sleep in my own bed?" she replies, changing the subject and tone. She can't talk about this anymore.
Not letting Toni's jokes get to him, he asks, "Doesn't Barnes have a right to choose that for himself?"
No, she yells in her head. That'll just cause more pain; plus, she's Toni Stark. She and relationships are like oil and water. They don't mix. "I have a lot of things to do," she says, glancing up at the pilot. Her tone is hard. "Your pilot has better not be driving like an old man." She isn't lying. She does have things to do, like clear Bucky's name, as he doesn't deserve any of this. And she'll be strong for him, to protect him.
"You're impossible to have a conversion with." He says, annoyance breaking through his smooth tones.
"Well, I'm a Stark. Been trained by lawyers not to admit to anything," she replies. She doesn't mention that her father had ingrained it into her. Taught her to keep her shields up at all times. Taught her that people were out to get her.
T'Challa gives her a hard look. "And you won't admit that you love him, I supposed. Some might call that foolish. Are you foolish, Miss Stark?"
Toni doesn't finch at the word love and she's quite proud of herself. It means her systems are coming back up, and her shields are rebooting, which is a good thing. She can't deal with a complete system failure, and that'll happen if she loves Barnes, which is why she can't let it happen. "Love is for the birds." She replies. With her shields, she can do anything. "And I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing happened."
Toni knows she must be annoying T'Challa as she refuses to talk about Barnes anymore, even with all his poking. She refuses to acknowledge it anymore. That's enough sharing for her, and she rebuffs anymore show of emotions, which is why she just leaves as soon as the aircraft touches down. She'll deny that she bolted from him, though that's what she does. She doesn't stop as she heads straight to her labs without stopping.
*O*O*
"So how long are you going to lock yourself in here?"
Toni glances at her best friend, ignoring the guilt building up inside of her, because it'll overwhelm her if she doesn't. "I didn't lock myself in here," she replies sticking out her tongue at him. "If I did, you wouldn't have gotten in."
Rhodes gives her a look. "You're an ass. Makes me wonder how we are even friends." He putts on a smile, trying to punch out the joke; however, Toni's heart flickers.
"Because I'm your sugar momma," she replies, giving him the biggest smile she can muster, as her mind flashes back to Bucky Bear. "And I could show you my ass, but it's so white that I might blind you. And if I do that, I would have to take care of you, and Toni Stark can't handle that!"
"Talking in third person now?"
There's no doubt that Rhodes makes her feel better, but there's no getting her out of this funk. It has been days since she has seen Barnes and she can't get him out of her mind, even if his memory causes her pain. With how she left it—running with her tail between her legs-, she hasn't call to check on Barnes, as she doesn't want to deal with the questions. She's sure he has over a hundred, and she doesn't want to admit to anything.
Rhodes lets out sigh as Toni is knee deep in an Iron Man Suit, welding. He just watches her, eyeing her shoulders as she works. "So, Barnes has been cleared of everything, though Rogers has not and is still listed as a War Criminal." He lets out a chuckle as he glances up at the TV monitor. "Kind of funny." He is grinning.
Toni looks up the news report to see Barnes' face, and her heart races, pounding against her chest. It's so loud that it forces her to look away. It's like someone is screaming in her ear. What's wrong with her? She acts like it was more than just sex. It isn't. Just sex. No matter what he said in that cabin, he forgot her as soon as he met up with Captain Asshat., And there's probably nothing for Present day Bucky to remember. "I can agree to that."
With his eyes on her, he walks over to Toni and slowly sits on the stool next to him. There is a weary look in his eyes as if he expects her to hit him. "So, what made you send the fleet of Lawyer to Barnes' defense?" he asks
When she first sent the lawyers, she wondered if she should, because everything she touches burns; however, that thought didn't last long. He is innocent and deserves to be free. He's an Howling Commando and he deserves respect. So, she did everything to clear his name, and she tried to keep it quiet, but she was unable to. Now, she's at the center of it, as the Media is now wondering why she is helping. She has been left to do nothing as the world panders, though not guessing the truth. She doesn't want anyone to know the truth. "Well, he has a nice smile, and pretty guys don't do well in jail."
Rhodes tries to push more for a better answer, but like T'Challa, he doesn't get anything out of the genius. Like a true Stark, she deflects and shifts attention to what she's currently working on. Now that Barnes is free, there's no reason to talk about it. It's the past, and there's no point in talking about it. He's not going to remember and it's better not to linger on it. Nothing is going to change and she must accept that.
*O*O*
For the next week, everything is back to normal, well not that leading the Avenger is normal. Trying to handle a dragon is not normal, yet they did it a few times. Yes, a few times. They had to deal with a mother Fucking dragon more than once. What the hell is this world coming to? And getting blasted by a fire ball is not fun. Not fun at all. However, it is better than facing aliens…or seeing Barnes' face again. No! She yells at herself. She must get her mind off that man. She has to, even if she wonders how he is doing. Maybe, just a check, she panders as she wonders if that will help. No! She yells again. Need cold turkey.
Trying to put Bucky out of her head, she throws herself into works, meetings and Stark Industries but nothing is working. No matter what she does, there is a part of her that wants to reach to T'Challa to check up on Barnes, but it is smashed down in seconds when she remembers the look in his eyes. There's nothing there, and that'll not change. Those few days were nothing, and she keeps reminding herself of that. Two or three days with someone does not make a future, and she needs to remember that.
As she goes through this, she does it alone, withdrawing into herself. It's what Starks do. Putting shields up, she keeps her eyes forward as she forces her emotions back. It works for a while, even if everyone bugs her about this soul mood she is in. She would rather face the dragons again, even if she gets blasted by fire balls. Fire balls over questions any day. Having to avoid everyone's questions is tiring, and it brings out her nastiness, as there's no end to their questions. It has come to the point that even Peter, the teenage menace, is bugging her, and she doesn't know what to tell him, especially Peter. Lying to the boy is harder than she expects. Maybe, it's his puppy dog eyes that follow her everywhere. Maybe, it's because he doesn't look at her like everyone else does. He doesn't see her as broken. Whatever it is, she tells him that she's as happy as she can be. Can't take the broken look in his eyes.
With a deep sigh, Toni heads to her lab, ignoring the looks she has been getting. However, just before the door to her lab, she freezes as her heart jumps. From the corner of her eyes, she sees a certain black man staring at her, granted it may be the lack of sleep getting to her. However, her mind gives a name: T'Challa, but as she turns to face the New King, he's gone. With a rapid heartbeat, she isn't sure he's really at the Avenger compound, and she just chalks it up to seeing things.
Besides, she has other things to worry about like inventing new techs for the new Avengers, which can stand up to fire breathing Dragons—No, she isn't going over the dragons- and something for Peter if he stops being so hyper. Man, that kid wears her out, and no, it isn't because she hasn't been sleeping. Yes, she only slept three days out of the seven, and with those three days, she has only slept 3 to 4 hours. But, even if she had slept for 8 hours, Peter would still tire her out. He has energy for days…damn kids and making her feel old.
Shaking her head, she steps into her lab and halts as her hand begins to shake. Maybe, it's the lack of sleep, but her heart stop as she stares at the man in front of her. Maybe, T'Challa really was there. "W-what are you d-doing here?"
With a blank face, James Barnes stands at the other end of the lab and staring. There is this weird look in his eyes as he looks her over, but it holds her in place. "You never let me tell you thanks."
Time stands still as she suddenly becomes aware of her shaky body. Her palms are sweaty as her heart pounded in her ear. With shadow breaths, she looks at Bucky. He has two arms now, the left her design, and it sends chills up her back, but at the same time, she can't fight the heat building in her face. "Well, I did try to kill you and all."
A small smile appears on his face. "You just got lucky. In a real fight, I can take you."
Is he teasing her? Toni doesn't want to know what to make of it. "Is that why you came?" she asks, her voice shaky. She can feel her shields start to crack as he smiles. That smile should be illegal. "Is that some kind of thanks?"
Barnes takes a step forward, his eyes on her. "No, this is." He pauses as his heart races. "I came here to tell you 'thank you' even if those words aren't good enough. You did something for me that I can never repay you for. I'm no longer that Monster that I fear, and no matter what I say, nothing will be enough. But, I'll try. Thank you." He pauses to catch his breath. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart." There's such an intense look in his eyes that it's overwhelming.
Toni has never been good words, but 'thanks' is one of things that gets her every time. What does one say to something like this? You're welcome? That doesn't seem good enough. "Good," she utters.
He takes another step forward, his eyes glued to her face. "And you didn't have to make this," he says, bringing up his left arm to show it to her. "Impressive. I can feel this one unlike the last one."
"Well, I did destroy the last one, and I am a Stark. I only make the best." She replies, as she steps back. She doesn't know why she's so nervous. "Is that it? Well, you're welcome." She gives him a smile. "Better getting going now as I'm sure Rogers is going to go, 'Where is my Bucky?'"
Bucky lets out loud chuckle. "I don't doubt that. Ever since you fixed me, he has been hovering like a parent, a parent that you just want to lock in the closet and throw away the key. He bounces between tears to joy to fear, that this won't last, to happiness that he has his best friend back and back again. I love the punk, but man. It gets annoying."
Toni is so confused, and she doesn't know what to do. "So, are you back to normal?" she asks, trying to ignore her beating heart. Why can't she put that Snow Storm behind her? "And Rogers hovering? I can see that."
He just smiles. "Oh, yes, he is. He has to know where I am and he is never more than a few feet from me."
Yup, that sounds like Rogers, but she supposes she would do the same if she was the Asshat—no, she is in a different situation. It doesn't count. The boys have been friends since childhood and Barnes has been brainwashed for years, forced to do things against his will. He was turned into a monster. So, it makes sense for Rogers to be like that, not her. "So, where's he now?" she asks as she looks around. If he's here, he's getting punched in his face or balls. She still doesn't know how Barnes in here in her lab. She flashes to T'Challa in the hallway, and she knows how.
"Well, he doesn't know I'm here. Plus, I'm no longer a criminal or a fugitive. I can go where I like any time I want," he says, as his smile takes up his entire face. "I like to rub that in his face."
"Oh, do you?" It's clear that Barnes and Rogers are two different people, even though they are closer than brothers.
"He wants to come here himself, but no one thinks that was a good idea and he's whining about it. Sam had to stop him from calling you a few times," he says as he takes another step toward her. "You went to Wakanda when you knew he wouldn't be there and you left before he returned. It makes sense that you don't want to see him."
She has wondered why she haven't heard from Rogers. "I knew Birdy Sidekick was the smartest." James laughs, which is one of the best things Toni has ever heard. "He's correct." She pauses for a second. "But are you you?" she asks. Her heart skips a beat.
"I don't remember everything, but I do remember a few things." He's still looking at her with such a strong stare. "Which is why I'm here."
Toni looks at him, eyeing how close he is. "And you think I want you here?" she asks, trying to put some sharpness in her voice.
"Yes, because I have a bone to pick with you."
"Oh, you do?" Toni asks, as she tries to think of what he's referring to.
He closes the distance between them and reaches out to her. "I told you if I forgot to make me remember, because there's no way, shape or form do I want a life without you in it. And, you know what you did? You left. Left without giving me to a chance to remember. So, yes, I have a bone to pick with you." He doesn't give her a chance to pull away as he traps her between his arms and chest.
Feeling like something is sitting on her chest, Toni's heart stop as her minds freezes. She just stares as no thoughts come to mind. "Y-you r-rem…" she utters, though the words die in her throat.
"Yes, I do, but no thanks to you…well, maybe a little, but you left, so I'm taking all the credit," he says as he pulls her in for a kiss, a long kiss.
With shock and surprise, Toni tries to pull away, though Barnes won't let her. "How?" she asks, her voice soft, cracking.
He rests his forehead against hers. "While Steve was fighting with Sam, he said something and triggered a memory."
"Which was?" she croaks, as she stares into his eyes. She tries to ignore the growing warmth in her chest as her shields fall.
"Not important, but it made me a bit jealous." He replies, a slight bitterness in his voice. "Might have to beat him up for dating you." He's smiling about it but there's a hint of something else in his voice.
Toni can't stop herself from laughing as it just rolls out. She really can't handle the look in his eyes. "I don't know if I would call dating." She wants to say it's more like fighting because that's all they did. Like, who thought they would make a good couple? That person is an idiot. "It is lucky that we didn't kill each other."
Barnes laughs again as that bitterness in his voice disappears. "Good, because I don't like to share."
"Oh, you think you have me now?" she asks, still not sure what is going on. Is this really happening? Is Barnes really in front of her? Is this a dream? It has to be because she doesn't deserve happiness? Plus, she hasn't slept in days. This could be in her head. Maybe, the fire breathing dragons has knocked her out and this is all happening in her head.
He pulls her back to him and places his lips on hers once more. "Oh, I had you since that day in the cabin and you know it."
"And no, you didn't it, so…"
James gives her a look, stopping in her in her tracks. "Oh, you think so?"
There is playful look in the soldier's eyes, and it looks like he's ready to fight or play, though Toni doesn't know which is worse. "Yup. Now what're you going to do about it?" she asks. She doesn't know where this 'play' is coming from. Maybe, it's from this heat building up inside of her chest at the sight of this man. Maybe, it is because his very smile brightens her mood like no pill has ever done. Maybe, it is the fact that she hasn't been this happy in a while, but it is driving her forward.
*O*O*
Once again, Toni finds herself naked in Barnes' arms, and the super soldier has no interest in letting go again. However, she has no interest in leaving either. She hasn't felt like this for a while. There is no way to describe the warmth in his chest. "Now what?" she asks as she tucks her head under his neck.
"More sex?" he asks with chuckle in voice. "You know been a mindless assassin for 70s years? I need to make up for lost time." There is this stupid grin on his face.
Even if that smile sends shivers down her legs, there're so many questions that Toni wants to ask. She just isn't sure how and if she can. And what if he says something that Toni doesn't like? "So, what is this?" she asks, her heart beating a million miles per hour. "A booty call?"
Bucky looks at her as he doesn't believe she asked that. "I thought Starks are supposed to be smart. Pretty dumb, Stark…or is it Potts?" He teases, winking at her. "I have no interest in going anywhere. I-"
"Did you just call me stupid?" she asks, giving him a death glare.
That smile of his does not falter. "Maybe, we need to wash out your ears. I said, 'Dumb.' Geez," he replies, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Don't worry. I still want you. I can be smart for the both of us." He wraps his arms around he and pulls her tight against him.
"How does Rogers feel about this?" She asks as she gives him a big grin. She runs her fingers down his arms, as her minds wander. "I foresee him going, 'My Bucky. No touchy. Mine!' I would say he would throw his shield but I have that bitch. He probably just stares at me with that stares he has."
A playful pained look flashes across James' face before a smile forms on his face. "Oh, that image is painful and funny at the same time." He closes his eyes for a second as he tries to shake it clear. "Is it sad that I can see him doing that?"
Toni let out a sighing chuckle. "No, no, it's not." She also can't get the image out of her head, and now, she can't help but wonder what he's doing now. Is he being a mother hen? Freaking out?
"But back to the point, I'm not giving you up, and no matter how annoying you are, I'm not going anywhere. I told you before but I'll tell you again. You were put in my path for a reason, and I'm not letting go. I'm no fool. You can try to push me away all you want, but it isn't going to work. So, fire away. Dragons and all. They don't scare me," Barnes replies, his grip tightens on her. "They run when they see this arm."
Toni gives him a look but holds back her insult. She doesn't know why she's fighting this so hard, even if the warmth in her chest is addicting, but she is. She wants nothing more than to put up her shields and run away. She wants to run far and fast, because she can't be hurt again. "I told you that I hurt everyone that tries to get close to me."
His eyes soften at that. "Have you hurt me? You gave me back my future, Toni. When you disappeared from the cabin, it felt like my future was stolen. It felt like a kick to the gut. I remember Steve worrying about me after that Snow Storm, because he has never seen me like that." He pauses as he pushes the hair out of her face. "And now that I have you back, I can breathe again, and I refuse to let that go."
"I tried to kill you." Her voice cracks at that.
"And I killed your parents," he replies. His voice also cracks. "And God, I'm sorry." Tears threaten to fall as if he relives the memory. "I'm so sorry." His voice creaks slightly. "My hearts breaks when I think about it." It's heart breaking to listen to him.
Even though it has taken Toni forever to get to this point, she knows that isn't completely true. His hands may have killed her parents, but he did not, and it hurts to listen to him, saying it. "No, that wasn't you. That was Hydra." She reaches for his hand and squeezed. "I want to kill those bastards for that. Put them in a meat grinder and turn it on. Head first, of course. I would say fry them up but they probably won't taste good." She pauses for a second. "It's me, who has to say sorry. I tried to kill you, even though I knew it wasn't your fault."
"Thank you, Doll Face." Barnes smiles as he rests his head against hers. "And that wasn't you either. We were both played and used. For that, I don't blame you. I can never blame you."
There's no fighting with him. Is there? "We're a bunch of crazy."
"Isn't that the true."
They both break out into a laugh as she wraps a leg around one of his. "I guess we're stuck with each other," Toni admits. There's no point in fighting this, not that she wants to. She wants to be happy, and she's tired of keeping up her shields. It's too much and she wants him. She wants him more than anything else she ever wanted in her life and it doesn't hurt that this sex is the best sex she has ever had. Plus, he's open. Willing to share himself. She needs that. She wants that.
"Yes, we are, because I'm never letting you go, even if Dragons are coming down upon us." And Barnes isn't wrong as he doesn't let go even when Friday announces that Rogers is on the line and is panicking that Barnes is MIA. Barnes doesn't let go even when Rhodey enters the labs and runs out screaming at the top of his lungs. He can be heard the entire way up the stairs as he is yelling, 'My eyes. My eyes. I can't see!' They can hear Rhodey yelling at Peter to stay upstairs or else. She can hear Friday asking her what to do, but none of that distracts them.
"You're really on those dragons."
"Dude, Dragons." There is this stupid grin on his face. "Come on, Doll Face. Dragons! Like what the hell? Can I have a pet Dragon? We enough room here, and I swear I'll take care of it. Can we have one? Please. I can be a dragon rider, and the next time, we get a call to assemble, I can ride in on a dragon. Just think about it." His eyes are lit and his smile is huge. "Imagine the looks!"
With that, Toni knows she has found her Soul Mate—not that she believes in that crap, but if she did, he is it. He is her Moon or maybe, her Dragon. And his name is James Bucky Barnes. "Yea, what would we feed it?"
The end, please let me know what you think.
My biggest worry was not rushing the hatred to love part. I think I got that, but let me know. I still wonder if it went to fast, but I didn't want to make this any better.
And, yes, all I see if Barnes Riding into battle with a Dragon.
With regards to Civil War, I went into the movies on Captain America side to coming out on Iron Man's side. I think Agent of Shields did a better Job at convincing me that the accords are stupid than Cap did. And yes, I guess that was the point, but there were stupid parts in the movies in that annoyed me like Scott Lang joining Team Cap and risking not seeing his kid again. The Ant Man movie was all about him doing whatever it took to see his daughter to him blindly following Captain America and separating him from his kid again. That is what bugged the shit out of me... For reasons, kids being separated from their parents pisses me off, no matter what, which is weird because I have no kids.
But anyways, that is not to say that I agree fully with Iron Man too. He is just as stupid as Cap.
Anyhow, until next time.