Reader insert stories here are uncommon aren't they? xD Well i hope you all enjoy this crack story
Mammon would've made a better cloud guardian than a mist guardian, sure he fulfilled the qualities a mist guardian should have but he was a nimble floating cloud that protected his family against harm. He would come and go like Squalo's moods (when you lived with him it was all too clear that he was actually a woman PMSing 24/7) He was bipolar, quote Ryohei "to the extreme" unquote, one moment he would be sucking up to the boss for a new uniform, the next he'll be screaming about something like there were too many cooking shows on TV. Anyway, Mammon was rarely in the Varia HQ. Xanxus refused to pay Mammon anymore than he already did so Mammon took up high paying side jobs (no he wasn't a prostitute in his spare time).
You lived with the Varia temporarily; you were thrown into their evil clutches by Lussuria who had found you on a well known street selling apples. Much to your dismay the flamboyant figure didn't come to purchase your apples like you hoped. He decided he wanted to steal you for the other members of the Varia; he did so, leaving your mother confused as to why you didn't come home that night (or for the next year).
You were confused as to why Lussuria kidnapped you. "Why would the Varia need a girl? Why would they need someone who couldn't fight?" Well the truth has to be told they didn't need you at all. You were merely a decoration in the household, constantly running errands for the officers of the Varia, you hated the "job" and you wondered why they had "hired" you in the first place.
You left the Varia the day you officially became a woman, they didn't know what to do with you (well they did know what a period was but an assassin giving you a tampon and pills to help deal with your pain? That's against all of their morals!) So they just chucked you outside, you dusted yourself off and walked back home where your mother welcomed you and your bloody figure (hey you bleed more than most!) back into your household.
Though during your time with the Varia you established connections with all of the officers and you slowly began to realise their weaknesses and strengths both in and out of battle.
Xanxus: Weaknesses – Alcohol of any kind/Strengths – Well, strength, he could tear your head off in one movement this dude was scary.
Levi: Weaknesses – Xanxus, he had a man crush/Strengths – None. You didn't hang around the pervert enough.
Squalo: Weaknesses – Funny enough, romantic movies. You saw him on many occasions blubbering into Lussuria's lap after watching a romance. /Strengths – Rain… wait what?
Belphegor: Weaknesses – He could easily be manipulated with ice cream, you just had to be careful when doing this as if he doesn't want to do something he can win his ice cream back with force, you have several scars showing why you shouldn't have been between Bel and his ice cream/ Strengths – Well blood and pain… weirdo.
Lussuria: Weaknesses – Any guy with a hot body… eww. /Strengths – Frilly clothes, if he was in frilly clothes as well as his opponent, he would always win.
Gola Mosca: Weaknesses – Fire, dude this robot is like drenched in oil it was a grand display to see the first prototype be burned to its doom /Strengths – It was a robot with lasers. Enough said.
And finally Mammon, you had a little bit of a crush on the little baby (understandably, your father was a convicted pedophile) you followed him around day by day doing everything he asked of you. Including accompanying him to the bathroom when he needed to do his business, you didn't mind at all in fact that was your favourite thing he asked you to do for him.
His main weakness was money. His weakness was going to play the main part in your newest operation.
"Operation: Baby Love, verMammon"