Ludwig takes deep breaths, glancing between his plate and Feliciano. The books say that what he's about to do is a Very Important Step in Your Relationship, but all the books have really served to do is make him even more nervous, because the books did not include a section on How To Initiate A Kiss (Especially With the Nation of Love) which is what Ludwig really needs right now.
It's not as if he hasn't kissed Feliciano before, but cheek kisses don't really count (well, the books don't really talk about them, and Ludwig just assumed) and the books were also very clear on the fact that it is Ludwig's Duty As A Lover to at least try to kiss Feliciano, and he's trying very hard to fulfill these duties. Which can be difficult, as Ludwig is still not entirely able to have coherent thoughts when Feliciano kisses him, because he's good at it and where did he learn that from and can Ludwig impose sanctions on them and—
Feliciano smiles at him from across the table, and Ludwig's stomach does a slow flip. How is he supposed to continue when even something like that can make his knees feel weak and his insides feel sort of—he doesn't know, but it's strange and disconcerting and new and he wishes it would stop, just because Feliciano smiled because he was happy to be with Ludwig was no reason for his insides to be doing this at all and—
"Is your lunch okay?" Feliciano looks at him again. "You only ate half of it."
"I—oh." Ludwig glances down—it is true, half a sandwich sits on his plate. "I'm not hungry."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Feliciano shrugs, turning back to the remnants of his fettuccine, and then says, "Also you look kind of nervous, are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine," Ludwig says hastily, trying to look nonchalant and not like he doesn't know how or when to actually kiss Feliciano. Smiling again, Feliciano reaches out and squeezes his hand softly, and Ludwig's face heats up the way it always does.
"The meeting's going to be starting again soon, isn't it?" Ludwig nods, trying to shut down the relentless over-analyzing before it tells him something like he thinks this is awkward, he wants it to be over. "I don't really want to go, though, Singapore's voice is really boring, isn't it?"
"I—no comment."
For some reason, Feliciano laughs at that.
When they do stand up to go back to the meetings, Feliciano takes his hands and Ludwig notes what could be an expectant expression on his face and could now be the time?
Apparently not, since what Ludwig does instead of Fulfill His Duty As A Lover is clear his throat and blush. And Feliciano smiles and steps in close, and brushes his thumbs along Ludwig's knuckles, and kisses him on each cheek.
"See you at the meeting!" He chirps, nearly skipping out of the room and definitely skipping out on paying his share of the bill.
Ludwig, left standing in the middle of the restaurant, nods belatedly and sits back down before anyone starts looking at him weird.
They go out for dinner that night, too, and maybe this is the time since the books had all agreed that A Romantic Dinner was an important part of the process.
But Feliciano is talking so much, and Ludwig finds himself swept up in watching the movements of his hands and listening to him wax enthusiastic about the food here and food in general and no, no he's not staring thank you very much. He's not.
Snap out of it, Beilschmidt.
Feliciano trails off, hands pulling back in, and says "Um. Ludwig?"
"Yes?" Ludwig tries very, very hard to look nonchalant.
"Um—you haven't said anything in a while a-am I boring you? I can talk about something else—"
There's—there's hurt in Feliciano's eyes and it's not as bad as some times Ludwig's seen but it's there and guilt tugs immediately at his insides. "No! I—I mean, no, I was listening, I just didn't have anything to say."
"Mm?"
"You—you were talking about the polenta one of your neighbors gave you last month when you went to see her for dinner. Um. She'd done something with spinach?" And Feliciano's eyes had lit up and his voice had become almost dreamy and then Ludwig had started to have very soppy thoughts which are now threatening to make a reappearance.
Feliciano grins, and it makes his eyes crease up. "Yeah! She'd sautéd it it was so good maybe I should introduce you next time you're over?" And he's off again, and Ludwig tries to contribute when he can and keep all the soppy thoughts very quiet.
It doesn't work.
Feliciano lets him pay the bill (the books had been clear on that, always offer to pay, and really Ludwig would've anyway), and when they walk back to the hotel together their hands brush, and Ludwig takes a very quick breath before lacing his fingers with Feliciano's.
He can't do it now, the street does not seem like a Romantic Location and there are people everywhere, and what if he doesn't manage to do it at all and Feliciano gets disappointed—
"Hey, can I stay in your room tonight? Lovino doesn't like it when I hug him in his sleep."
Ludwig goes red and curses that internally but says "Yes, just please bring your own toothbrush."
And they spend quite a lot of the evening channel surfing, because sports are kind of a bad idea, and Ludwig doesn't really want to have to calm Feliciano down after a soap, and a lot of the pay-per-view stuff makes Feliciano have giggle fits and makes Ludwig hide under the bed so Feliciano doesn't see him blushing, and eventually they settle on some French movie neither of them can actually name.
Feliciano is sitting a lot closer than Ludwig thought, and they're alone…
Ludwig swallows and places an arm around Feliciano's shoulders, and Feliciano leans into it. And looks at him.
Have his eyes always looked like that?
And Ludwig manages to shove all the objections into the back of his mind for just long enough to lean forward and press his lips to Feliciano's.
For one nerve-wracking second, Feliciano doesn't respond, but then he sighs and brings up a hand to rest on Ludwig's cheek and kisses back, and Ludwig is definitely not melting into the kiss, not at all, but when Feliciano pulls back and smiles and then they both lean forward again and their noses bump together, the fact that the floor of a hotel room isn't exactly the place the book authors probably had in mind doesn't change that this is where Ludwig most wants to be.
